Reviews by m0nkeyb0ne

This club wins the Emergency Earplugs Award for playing music so loud that it’s actually painful, so loud that it isn’t possible to order a drink, and so loud that you can’t negotiate with a…

I will reveal myself now as a guy who is somehow simultaneously A) a longtime visitor of strip clubs, and B) a guy who's so polite he hasn't had that much actual experience with girls…

I was nearby, I figured I was prepared for the idea that this isn't a good area for clubs, and wanted to check out the Poodle anyway. The club itself is odd, to me. Every…

I'd never been to Rancho Cordova before, so I was new to Gold Club Centerfolds. Standard industrial-vibe location, a well-lit parking lot, a couple of guys under a pop-up tent with some kind of…

I don't live nearby, but I like going to Sweet Illusions. Right now I seem to be on an annual frequency, but you'd think it was the bar from Cheers to me, it gives…

Others have described the place. I don’t drink, so I didn’t go next door. I spent time connecting with Ryan, a youthful, slender white girl in her 20s with perky little tits and a soft…

Okay, I'm a weirdo and my agenda at strip clubs, now that I have ED, is different from a lot of guys. There's no version of life where I'm going to have an orgasm…

I've learned that I approach going to strip clubs pretty differently from lots of guys. I'm happy to hang out with a naked or barely-dressed woman and just talk (yes, I love feeling smooth…

Early Sunday afternoon, I timed my drive to stop in Springfield and visit this out-of-the-way, not-close-enough-to-home favorite. For those who don't know, this club seems to attract younger, more slender or petite dancers, and the ones…

Loved my evening here! I'd been to (I think) two different SRs before, but the Vegas club is big and fun. My tastes run toward young/slender/wholesome GND types, and it seemed like that…

I like Sweet Illusions, and will twist an itinerary to be able to make a stop in Springfield as often as I can. There’s something about the generally upbeat vibe and the fact that…

I think I officially have a pattern, now, since I became aware of my ED issues. It goes like this: 1. I imagine that the right stripper, in the right VIP/private area, is…

I was in town for one night, decided to stop in at PT’s Centerfold to check the vibe. Paid $20 at the door and got a ticket for a free drink. PT’s is…

What a crazy place! A real emphasis on big-booty women of color here, and I don't remember seeing another white guy in there, but had some hysterical encounters with dancers who barely spoke English. This…

I walked in grumpy, spotted a lithe young brunette who goes by Leo sitting by herself. Seemed like under a dozen patrons, maybe ten or fewer dancers visible, but Leo was sitting back from…

I was concerned upon arrival (8pm on a Saturday night) that I was in for a dismal evening: a few subdued performers before a small and silent handful of customers. I’d paid $30…

My second time at SI (I don't live in the vicinity), but I'm glad I took some time off the road to stop in again. Like others have indicated, this is a happy place.…

It's hard to imagine how Club Cleopatra stays in business with Cabaret Kingdom right across the street. I stopped in after escaping Cleopatra, and, at least on this particular Friday night, it was like…

What others have written is true, this is a congenial, unpretentious place with a very chill atmosphere. The girls uniformly appeared to be happy to be there. The handful that I chatted with…

I'm surprised that the very best thing about the Lido Room experience doesn't even get mentioned in a lot of reviews: that roaming hands are encouraged! For me this makes all the difference,…

For some reason, I stopped in at Rick's when I was almost back at my hotel -- thinking I was done for the night, I didn't need anything but sleep. I sat at a…

There are plenty of reviews, but my two cents is that this is a terrific idea. It's as advertised: intelligent girls show up at a party dressed in skimpy clothing, and they only…

In order for a review to actually be useful, I feel like sometimes you need to clarify your perspective or attitude first. Strip clubs are an only-when-I-travel thing, so my visits tend to be…