Articles by Call.Me.Ishmael

TL;DR ANSWER: It varies **wildly** based on the region, the club, the dancer, and what service the dancer provided. One of the most frequent questions (particularly from strip club newbies) is how much money should one bring to a strip club and how much should customers tip. I'm always a little dumbfounded by this questions, because the many variables should be…

An LDK (or "lapgasm" in other online places) occurs when a guy cums in his pants due to the friction caused by a dancer during a high-contact lap dance or VIP session. It's a topic that comes up often enough in strip-club-related forums that it's worth having a round-up article that captures often-stated opinions and realities. As usual, these are my…

You log in to TUSCL and there's a new thread titled "Does she want to date me?" You open it and it's a dissertation from a guy who thinks that his favorite stripper wants to be his girlfriend. He likely already knows that he's using poor judgment, but he hopes to craft an argument that will get him the validation…

When I first started posting reviews to TUSCL, I named names... a lot. I never connected dancers by name to extras, but I posted a lot of details about who worked when, what they looked like, who had a good reputation in VIP, etc. For the most part, I'm a regular at a regular's club. So, I tend to see…

The following is targeted neither at beginners nor at experienced strip club customers. It's just a list of things that have worked for me over the decades (shit, I'm old). Some of these things might work for you; some might not. Also, some of these recommendations may not work at some clubs or in some regions. Honestly, for a lot…

The vast majority of review down-votes are in the "not enough details" category. Yet the vast majority of reviewer complaints are "I don't want to rehash stuff I've posted before." Both complaints are valid.  Here's my fix...  For a club that you visit repeatedly, write the 'evergreen' details into a text file that you save to your phone or computer (or both).…

Rule #1: Every dancer has her own limits and those limits may be different for different customers. Some will do all, some will do some, some will do none, but no one is doing just you! Rule #2: Dancers don't necessarily keep a regular schedule. Rule #3: The real world stops and the fantasy world begins when you walk through the door.…

THE WRONG WAY TO SEPARATE A DANCER FROM HER REGULAR. It was recently suggested on a board at another site that if the stripper you want to spend time with is being monopolized by a regular, then it would be perfectly okay to walk up to them, politely interrupt their conversation, and let the dancer know that you’d like a dance…