10 Rules for the Strip Club Customer

Call.Me.Ishmael

2/27/2016 12:00:00 AM

Rule #1: Every dancer has her own limits and those limits may be different for different customers. Some will do all, some will do some, some will do none, but no one is doing just you!

Rule #2: Dancers don't necessarily keep a regular schedule.

Rule #3: The real world stops and the fantasy world begins when you walk through the door. You're paying for a fantasy, so don't confuse the two.

Rule #4: When a dancer tells you that she can't wait to see you again or that she has missed you so much ... the YOU she refers to is your wallet. (this doesn't mean that dancers don't have favorite customers that they prefer to see, but we are all customers)

Rule #5: Bring in the amount of money you intend to spend. NEVER use a strip club's ATM machine.

Rule #6: Dancers don't come to your office and waste your time, so don't go to their "office" and waste theirs.

Rule #8: While a buzz is fine, don't get shitfaced at a strip club. It makes you an easy target.

Rule #7: The time to leave when you run out of money or they turn on the lights. Note that more tragedies and humiliating news stories occur after the latter has happened.

Rule #9: A dancer's job is to take your money. She will tell you what she thinks will convince you to spend more. A sad story, bad luck, impending doom, promises of *future* sexual adventure are all designed to get you to spend beyond your limit. Just as each girl has her right to define her limits, you need to define your own.

Rule #10: It’s okay to fall in lust, but never fall in love. This makes you a bigger target than getting shitfaced in a strip club (by orders of magnitude).

Addendum: 99.999999% of the time, trying to "save" a stripper will end miserably and with a visible mushroom cloud.

27 comments

Latest

IwillLapAdancer

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9 years ago

Another rule to add: Make sure you size up the bouncer(s) in order to be sure you can take him/them if you intend to get a lap dance from Tara Christine.

Player11

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9 years ago

Be sure her S/O does not know your banging her itc or otc. plus only pay for services rendered

jackslash

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9 years ago

The best rule I learned on TUSCL: Never pay in advance.

carlos_spiceyweiner

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9 years ago

Good list. Your addendum should be posted on every club door!

san_jose_guy

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9 years ago

A very good set of rules.

And as for TaraChristine, remember, rule 1 is that every dancer gets to set her own limits.

SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…

Pictures At An Exhibition - The Great Gate Of Kiev
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cZ4D5dW…

Arranged for 4 manual organ by Richard Zipf (2013). Performance on Hauptwerk Virtual Pipe Organ using Palace of Arts Budapest Pipe Organ Sound Sample Set (Gravissimo sCSA).
Original MIDI sequence by Mauricio Estevez.
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Moussorgski/Asselin - Tableaux d'une Exposition - Organ arrangement
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Papi_Chulo

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9 years ago

Great job; concise yet lots of good info for newbs in particular – so far jack’s addendum about NEVER paying in advance is a def need-to-know.

Future newbie posters on the discussion-board that seem green and clueless should be pointed to this article.

vincemichaels

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9 years ago

FOUNDER, post this on the entrance, please !!

JamesSD

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9 years ago

These are good rules.

Re: #6 I compare it to shopping for a car. It's fine to walk onto the lot, take a test drive and not buy the car. But you shouldn't take a test drive every weekend.

Re #7: nothing wrong with leaving post orgasm with money left over

lopaw

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9 years ago

Well done!

flagooner

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9 years ago

Thanks for sharing the wisdom.

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9 years ago

Implied by rule 3 but often forgotten, the fantasy ends and reality begins when you go out the the door

Dominic77

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9 years ago

This is the best, concise "rules for strip clubbing" that I have seen Ina while. Bravo!

Dolfan

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9 years ago

A couple are a little less rules and more facts. But I agree, this is one of the better examples of this kind of thing I've seen posted here in a while.

Cashman1234

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9 years ago

Well said! You did a great job of creating a simple - yet comprehensive - list of rules. These are rules to live by for all tuscl members!

Dominic77

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9 years ago

I wouldn't say *never* prepay (this refers to scenario where prepay is not the club norm). My most mind-blowing private dance session with a dancer was after I prepaid, where she asked, but I didn't know whether she required it or not, or whether quality of the service was in any way linked to the fact I prepaid. Too many unknowns. I just know that the best dance I ever had was prepaid at a time when prepaid was not the norm. I would have much regret to never have experienced that session on account of a silly personal rule *never* to prepay, ever.

However, with that said, any subsequent times I have prepaid other dances, it has lead to a lackluster aka boring dance. I think between past experiences with prepaid dancers and the old adage "the one holding the cash in a negotiation has the leverage" leads the customer to prefer not to prepay. So I get it.

Or perhaps phrased differently, every rule has an exception... ;)

san_jose_guy

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9 years ago

These 10 rules don't go too far. Some people offer rules and their main idea is that you should not treat dancers like other women. These sorts of rules are wrong.

Where as Ishmael's rules here are just common sense safety and situational awareness.

SJG

georgebailey

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9 years ago

The 'rules' are more akin to 'tuscl 101'.

And I would add a dress code. If you look like a slob you'll get treated like one, and personal hygiene goes a long way.

QrickQ

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9 years ago

I like your list, but I liked it more when it was posted on the Strip Club Hound's blog two years ago...If you can't post an original discussion, then don't sully this site by plagiarizing someone else's material.

Call.Me.Ishmael

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9 years ago

Actually, I got it from the RI SCL, and made some minor revisions and tweaks. It was submitted with the following opening (which Founder did not include):

"The following is adapted from another message board for discussion here. Enjoy and debate!"

Regards,
Ishmael

Dominic77

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9 years ago

^The classy move, would have been to add the citation as the first post, below your article.

I did look at SCH's blog, and I couldn't find a close enough posting to match what the poster above you is referring. The information does appear in other sources (like ASSC - USENET alt.sex.strip-clubs), many much earlier than the SCH blog, so I doubt SCH blog did any original research either. With that said, it's still a decent list of common sense items, which in no way diminishes it as an article here.

Call.Me.Ishmael

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9 years ago

Dominic... Good idea for the next time. Thanks! I actually didn't realize that deletion had been made until I saw QrickQ's comment (I don't read my own articles after publication).

I was going to post something asking him to re-read the opening paragraph, but figured I should look at it again before I got my snark on.

Lesson learned...

Dominic77

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9 years ago

I wouldn't sweat it. If the strip club review submission page is anything to go by, founder appears to be anti-plagiarism himself or herself. Since your article was approved, I believe, you are ok. I wouldn't sweat it.

skibum609

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9 years ago

Ishmael - do you post on SCL as AREGULAR?

Call.Me.Ishmael

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9 years ago

@skibum609... nope.

Phoenix133

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9 years ago

I like your list especially #6 I have many guys try to get lucky. And I mean by wanting me to have sex or do sexual acts outside the club for free (not even wanting to pay me though its a no either way) And they buy me nothing maybe a drink after a while but thats about it and refuse to let me be so I can mingle with others and even if I do break away they manage to find a way to corn me to talk with them again and then proceed to waste my time.

Roadworrier

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8 years ago

Rule #11 - Learn to figure out which gals are supporting a drug habit (or are strung out). If you are a repeat clubgoer, you'll figure it out quickly. Stay away from them. They will want more and put out less.

Jascoi

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8 years ago

in tj about half of the girls asks for the money upfont. i've never been burned. knock on wood.

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