i was wondering how many people have had this occurence and how to deal with it.
i was sitting down at a table recently, and a very ugly girl came over to sit with me saying "you arent going to kick me out are you?". being the gentleman that I am, i suffered her presence for like half an hour, putting up with poor conversation and smoke. how do ya'll a)kick em out after a while, or b)tell em off?
samsung1,
Sorry, but did i miss something in your post? You state, "I know this anorexic-looking, chain smoking, flat chest, blonde girl...", and then, "Then when we were getting a dance together...".
Seems to me, you are the one that caused the incident. You should have booted her the second you thought better of her sitting with you.
A tactic I've used, although rarely...
She comes, sits, and annoys. I make sure my beer is empty or very close to it. I tell her I'm visiting the restroom and leave. If she is where I left her, I sit somewhere else and get another beer. If she heads my way, I go back to my first seat if it is still available. Never had one come back after that.
I just tell her I'm not interested in company... dancers don't want to waste their time, generally.
O.
If you give an ugly dancer a shred of hope, she will cling to you for days.
Ugly dancers are truly lonely for company and will not take any hints to leave you alone. You must change seats or call the manager. If you "cave" and buy a dance you have bought a dancer friend for the rest of your visit.
I have a poor "poker face". When a hideous looking being comes over, and she sees the look on my face, it's enough to send her scurrying away.
It amazes me that this problem exists, I guess.
I wonder: if you were at a restaurant, and the waiter brought you an entree you didn't order - didn't even like, maybe - and then billed you for it, would you just "suck it up"?
If so, PLEASE let me know because I'd LOVE to have you as a customer ;)
O.
The latch-on is a quandary, particularly if she's inclined to interfere with your other exploits after you've sent her on her way. I also use the "going to the restroom" approach, a la Clubber. It usually works.
Bathroom technique always works. I've used it maybe six times in my past three or four visits to one particular club and they're always gone when I get back.
Works so well that there's a disclaimer: If you really have to go and you're sitting with a dancer you might want to get a dance with, ask her to wait.
I would guess that none of our female contributors would fit in this category.
being a gentleman is a good idea. but in my experience when i come in on a slow night its like blood in the water with sharks in it. I get crowded by the uglies and can never get to my favs
In this case I think of a "thing" like that dancer as a cancer. And with cancer, you've got to get it early or it gets you. If you had taken care of the problem right away, then she would have gone away and not returned.
I used almost that exact same line today.
It was actually true, but it would have worked just the same if it wasn't. The catch with that one, though, is if it's a club you'll see again it might come back on you at some point.
I think that, as I get older, I learn better and better how to deal with these sorts of situations. "I'm sorry, I'm really interested in a couple of other girls right now." Then name them. You can still be 'a gentleman' about it (if that's important to you) in order to either, a., not get kicked out of the club, or, b., feel like you're being a nice decent moral guy. It's about negotiation tactics, and taking EVERY other human being seriously, regardless of how they first impact you.
I actually don't mind ugly girls. Sometimes they're cool. Often you can just let them know right off, that you won't be having private dances with them because you're interested in other people (tactfully? see above). What I mind, is ugly AND annoying / bitchy / presumptuous girls. Women who demand that I pay for them even though I'm not interested in them; or who insist on regaling me with stories of how much of an asshole every guy on the planet is, for the fact that he doesn't want to pay her.
It's not REALLY the looks that are bad. It's the looks-plus-personality.
Corollary: I have come to learn that many ugly strippers are also negative about life in general, and determined to share that attitude with me.
I always tell them straight up...
"I am waiting for another dancer."
If they latch on anyway...the best out is to watch other dancers at the stage, when you find one you like, go up and tip the one you like.
This always works...the dancer might chit-chat a little longer, but she wont stay much longer.
Most women understand that different guys have different tastes, and they will move onto some guy who pitties them or finds their conversation interesting or who just likes their type.
Excellent solutions and I have used all of them. Bigger problem is when you are sitting with a dancer that you really like but then your ATF shows up. You know that your ATF will not come over to you while your are with another dancer. How do you get rid them, then? I am still working on an answer to that.
To manage the "magic dancer transfer" in which you (somehow) convince a girl who is ALREADY sitting with you, to depart in deference to a favorite who has JUST ARRIVED, you might consider doing the following:
Engage the aid and subterfuge of the girl who is already at your table. "Hey, see that girl over there? I have been waiting for someone like her for HOURS! I wonder how I can get her to come over here? She won't sit with me, I'm not good enough for her. Boy oh boy I'd pay her a LOT, but I'm too shy ..."
This sometimes works. If the bluto at your table announces something idiotic like, "Well, you aren't too shy to talk to me, so why don't YOU AND I go get a dance RIGHT NOW" then she is DELIBERATELY missing the hint. At that point, the battle-lines have been drawn and you can be more blunt with her. "I'm interested in that one over there, sorry." But the trick is, that you've made the BLUTO define the battle-lines, rather than defining them yourself. Hence, you come off as tactful.
Get it? :)
BG,
I thought the point was to NOT "Get it". :)
A interesting tact you bring up.
My fav line: Thanks for stopping by, but I'd like to sit by myself for a while.
I don't use the "waiting for another dancer" line for fear that the dancers talk among themselves, saying, "Don't bother going over to his table; he's waiting for someone."
Well what I have been using is "I'm sorry but I promised gridget my next dance. If you are still here later, I would love a dance." gridget left at 345PM for her real full time job. 5 minutes later the other dancer came over to me in street clothes to say good bye. "Oh no, you are not leaving yet?" She went back to the dressing room, suited up again and spent the next 3 hours with me. I explained that I knew that gridget had to leave early. She said that she understood. It is becoming a balancing act between those two and other favorites. Am I up to the challenge. Hell yes!!
Shadowcat: your system is BRILLIANT! I will implement it as soon as I can. Now all I need is a club with a girl named Gridget ... dangit! There aren't any in my town.
:)
I like the system Cat uses but it can backfire. In some clubs the dancers can't come back, they have a defined shift. I tried that up near KC once and when the girl I wanted came by dressed she said she couldn't dance anymore after her shift ended. I'm better now about it, I just end to tell a girl that I'm not interested up front, figure I won't see her again anyway so what the heck. I have a few types I just don't like to get dances from.........I don't like black women and I don't care for really huge boobs so I tend to send them away quickly. I figure it's my money and my time so I will use it as I please.
offer her 20 bucks to leave you alone. easy money for a dancer.
I know this anorexic-looking, chain smoking, flat chest, blonde girl who likes to cling on to me and talk about herself. She talks about her boyfriend as if I am her gay friend. She also talks about how she is going to be a celebrity and such, etc. etc. Just BS and more BS. What is even worse is she signals over to the waitress and expects me to pay for her Red Bull Energy drinks. Then when we were getting a dance together she talked about how she has had seizures and panic attacks before in her life because of drinking too many energy drinks. This of course, was a major turn off and I did not enjoy the dance at all. She ended up clinging on to me for the next few visits until I just gave up on going to that club any more. Even when I told her I was broke and did not have any money for dances she still did not care, she just wanted some one to listen to her talk. blah blah blah.