It's always about the money. Is It?
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Dancer brings a birthday cake and a funny t-shirt into the club on my birthday. What was her motive? To get more money out of me? Dancer gives me her cell number and right below it her husbands cell number. Says that if I ever need help to call her and If I can't reach her to call him. Motive? Dancer gives me her parents phone number. Why? money? Dancer gives her Brother $20 to get lost so that we can be alone. I love this one.
Yes it is usually all about the money but not always.
Yes it is usually all about the money but not always.
24 comments
For every story out there about a true connection being made, there are hundreds where the only connection was with the cash.
Dancers are people too and can be nice. It isn't that unusual to me. If you're not thought of strictly as a customer, other things can happen without cash.
I like it when 2 nice looking dancers come up to you and say they are going to do a double dance for you compliments of someone you don't even know. I never did find out who that was and they didn't tell me. I'm wondering if the dancers made up that part of the story. I enjoyed the free double dance though.
Normally, it is just about the money. At least that is my experience and even if it isn't about the money doesn't mean there is a real connection----her act, if it is an act, could be done for her own reasons.
A certain type of customer goes to the club thinking that strippers are readily available as dating material. Smart dancers exploit this weakness to make money. These are the guys who, after failing in their attempt to get free pussy by buying a few lap dances, whine that dancers are only in it for the money.
Whenever this topic comes up, I am always reminded of a time when a dancer I knew fairly well was sitting with a customer at the bar while he had lunch. After he left I said to her something like, "Didn't he even tip you?" (He hadn't bought any dances from her or any drinks, he just had lunch, talked to her and left.) To which she replied, "No, but that's OK, I really enjoyed talking with him."
It's always been my impression that, as long as they are generally making what they expect to make on a weekly basis, most dancers are pretty philosophical about individual customers - they know some will spend a lot and some won't and they just accept it. They don't mind taking a break with a friendly customer who treats them well but doesn't spend much because they know the big spender will show up eventually. In fact if you want to have any sort of personal relationship with a dancer, you're probably better off not spending very much.
Funny thing, many dancers wind up as friends.
Basic charm and respect are completely underrated. If you are paying people to talk to you, and they don't have either a law degree or a PhD in psychology, you are doing something dramatically wrong.
O.
:( In either case, it is usually a desperate cry for HELP and can indicate you are doing something dramatically wrong.
Ideally, a man wastes his money on a hot female or other sex object! :)
Then there are some guys who aren't that familar with strip clubs and think it's all about the money and think dancers will have sex with them if they bring enough money. Wrong.
Well I guess if you're Donald Trump and can offer a few million dollars, doors will open up for you. No one in their right mind will lightly turn down an offer for a one night stand if it means never having to work again for life. A few people have morals or something and still wouldn't do it for a few million.
So, money is there in our heads. It's just manifesting itself as something different. And, to be sure, many of those money-related characteristics are also related to a lot of other things, too. A girl doesn't get skinny SIMPLY by having disposable income; she's gotta have other things in the mix; but the spare cash can enable a lot of her quest for desirability, where poverty might prevent it.
So chandler spares the strippers from his control urges, and instead subjugates this board to them. Gee thanks, chandler!
The question about whether, with a stripper, it's "just about the money" or not can, indeed, be reduced mindlessly and pointlessly to what I raised, of the "it's always about the money so why discuss it?" variety. But let's not go there. Let's assume we understand one another, when we discuss this situation. Sure, humans have a lot of baggage when it comes to social class and so forth. We know what we're talking about here.
The thing that's interesting to me is the way in which the selection process seems (at least from my vantage point) to 'get it wrong' for women. Attractive strippers, for instance, tend to gravitate toward men who look a bit like they can pay, but also who look a bit like what I consider "lower class" men. If you divide (just in theory) America into upper, middle, and lower classes, with the uppers really enjoying full leisure time (they make their money off the stock market and nothing else; work whenever it's fun, and never otherwise; chair foundations, go to Nice on a whim, etc.). Then you'll see, that THIS type of man is actually UNattractive to the typical stripper. What she wants is a man who has disposible income, but also who comes from a social class with which she is mentally familiar. The super-rich elite dude just basically wants to speak about ideas, politics, maybe raising champion poodles or something. The less-rich dude, who DOES have to work but will spend money on a stripper as well, probably wants to talk about his trucking firm or plumbing business. And strippers can "get" him better; he maybe has experimented with drugs and it was a risk for him about getting caught; or he didn't go to college because he brought himself up by the bootstrapts; that sort of thing.
So there's this weird disconnect between income, on the one hand, and social mores, on the other, and I kind of perceive strippers (and many young women) to misunderstand male signals and actually select poorly. I see them very impressed with the wealth of a young loser who deals drugs. He wears his baseball hat backwards, baggy jeans, has some gold teeth. Gold! Golly, he must be rich! But not impressed at all with the wealth of a lawyer. He wears a $1000 suit. Clothing? He must be poor. She gets the signals wrong. And anyway, if she's seeking to be impressed by wealth, she should gravitate toward the man who has the most of it, which she doesn't do. See social class interests, above.
I find it's that way with women who aren't necessarily strippers, too. A man with a manicure, a "fake" tan, extremely expensive shoes, and a droopy linen kaftan-style open-necked smock shirt came in to a cigar shop where I was hanging once. The females in the shop thought he was really poor, and probably a "sloppy" bad catch type of typical-Ralph-Kramden boorish male, because his shirt wasn't buttoned up. I thought he was really rich, because of the quality of the materials he wore, and because of the pampered self-indulgent appearance of someone who pays for a manicure and a tan; in that sense, he would be a "better catch" for the women, though he might also be self-involved, arrogant, difficult to deal with. Turned out he was a really cool, deferential, "sweet" nice guy -- so, again, the women rejected him for exactly the reasons by which they OUGHT to have accepted him. He inherited controlling shares in a major international shipping firm, which he does not personally run. He is slowly liquidating so he can have bank and investment assets, rather than a company; but otherwise, he's essentially independently wealthy, and frankly, I really liked him. Charming, graceful, kind. The chicks assumed he was a weenie, largely because they thought he was financially poor. And then when they learned he was really rich, they decided he was a rich-prick-weenie-prep-school type. This was not because he came across that way, but because they needed to excuse their bad judgment by trying to remain consistent.
So, the money-markers aren't always accurately read. Yes, it is "always about the money" in some sense or other. Men and women both. I want a hot chick with a hot bod. I'm not going to be interested in fucking any female who has gotten either poverty-fat or masculine-sized field-working muscles. I can't help it. It's a cultural norm, a social more. But also, oddly, I don't care if she comes from a really rich family or a really poor family. (Sometimes I tend to assume that the super-rich are too distant from me in context, to the point that we can't communicate. Sometimes, however, I am surprised to learn that they can be just as down-to-earth as anyone else, and that my assumption of their nature is false.)
I'm always surprised at how bad chicks are, at reading dudes. They go for the chicken-shit asshole whom nobody would ever want in their foxhole with them, because they assume he's "a great fighter." They go for the slimy manipulative under-handed player with the gift of gab, and they say it's because he's "really genuine." They go for the trash-talking bling-bling wanna-be rapper on the street corner with no job and no education, because "his money impresses me."
The old joke. Why will a woman who is interested in skinny men always pick the fat man in a tuxedo over the skinny man in a sweatsuit? Because the fat man in a tuxedo is skinnier.
Not, "looks skinner." Not, "seems to take care of himself better." Not, "well, the clothing fooled me, but now I see, he's fatter." Actually, "the guy in the tux is skinnier right now." IS skinnier.