A Conundrum
A few years ago, pre-scamdemic, I spent the night with a young lady. It was probably one of the top ten nights in my storied history. What was particularly memorable was how much she enjoyed it. I know some may doubt that and it’s OK because what I’m about to relate after such a “memorable” night sounds even harder to believe.
We did not keep in contact as it was a chance encounter interrupted by Covid before I could follow up. Fast forward and I connected with a girl in the same club going by a different name that reminded me of my memorable girl. I asked if she was her and she swore she wasn’t. I reluctantly took her at her word. For such a memorable girl I have to admit that I didn’t really remember her for certain in the flesh. We subsequently became good friends without the benefits and have kept in contact throughout my travels and always meet up for drinks without the sex when I pass through.
The conundrum is that a couple of weeks ago she admitted that she was in fact her and shared details that only she would know. She started hinting that we should do a repeat performance. Three days ago, she stopped hinting and said we need to do it again. She is currently out of town but returns at the end of next week. The thing is I don’t really think that I want jump into bed again. I worry that it won’t be the same and will ruin a memory that I would like to keep pure.
Pussy or memories, that is the question.
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last commentAre you in a committed relationship if not and the sex was great. Relive and enjoy those long lost moments. Covid changed lots of things unfortunately.
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ssdsd
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nice to have a second opportunity.
I suggest do it. after all... what do you have to lose...
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Just do it.
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She's hardly the first girl to try to re-write her past in a strip club, especially after an extended absence.
I guess it depends on just how valuable that old memory is to you. Because yes, if you sleep with her again and it doesn't go so well, it will inevitably color everything you think about her.
Idk. I definitely have my own set of fond memories from this thing, but tbh my best and raunchiest ones come from civilian girls, not strippers. Tbh I just don't cherish any memory with a stripper enough to turn down good pussy. But if you enjoy that memory enough that you don't want to risk sullying it, then so be it.
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The fact she initially lied means it's 100% certain it will not be the same. I ruined a memory last year and regret it.
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@skibum609 That is what I expect would happen
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Doc
Are you talking about reconnecting in a civilian relationship or as a paying customer? If a civilian relationship, I can understand your concern and reluctance. But if you’re a paying customer, you’re giving this way too much thought.
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No 2 experiences are the same, remember the past but live the present
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So strange she lied about your previous meeting.
BTW - anyone else thing you they want to meet for sex? Didn’t think so. Don’t overthink this opportunity, and treat it as a new experience. Don’t dwell on comparing everything how it was before, that’s just set up for disappointment!
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@iknowbetter “Are you talking about reconnecting in a civilian relationship or as a paying customer?”
Oh, we are definitely 100% civilian. I consider us as friends.
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@shailyn. “BTW - anyone else thing [sic] you they want to meet for sex? Didn’t think so.”
I know this is TUSCL and answers like mine are “suspect” but to answer your question – yes and that is another conundrum. At least 4 others within spitting distance and more worrisome is the recent email from the nurse in California that I had a 4 year affair with. I ghosted her 6 years ago. Not proud of that but I felt I had to do it.
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Everyone who has ever seen When Harry Met Sally knows, men and women can't be friends. No matter how people try to deny it, there is always, always a sexual component. That goes double if there has already been a sexual component in the past. You are already having an intimate relationship with this girl that started in the past but you are continuing/resuming it in the present. And yet somehow this current intimate relationship has not ruined your memory of an amazing first sexual experience together. If this recent emotional intimacy hasn't ruined that memory, then thers is no reason to
Let's be blunt here, the real risk here is that you are continuing an emotional relationship, which she now wants to deepen with further sexual intimacy, while you two still have serious unspoken issues and unanswered questions between you. You are wise to not get into a civilian sexual relationship with her until this gets sorted out, especially since you do have other options. I don't know what all else might be going on, I have a feeling it might be quite a bit, but the big giant obvious one is that she lied to you about who she was.
That alone is a pretty big lie, and you still don't understand why. You need to get it settled before you get any deeper, you need to ask the tough question, why did she lie? You also need to understand her feelings, and your own - just how deep and serious is this for her, and for you? You want to know why she disappeared, what happened during that time, why she's back, and why she tried to hide all that by denying who she was and trying to start all over with you. You have your other options, is she going to expect monogamy? Then there's all the issues of being involved with a dancer that other threads mush have hashed over a million times.
It's not about preserving past memories, it's about sorting out the emotions of the present before you can make decisions about the near future.
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The dugan said => Tbh I just don't cherish any memory with a stripper enough to turn down good pussy.
As usual the dugan is correct. You sound like a frickin’ Hallmark card BabyDocApe. Live your life like a Penthouse Letter, not a Hallmark card. ROAR!!!
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Was it civilian even the first time, or started as paying for meetup and now she is willing to meet free? In both cases, you met her at a strip club?
Yes its a red flag that she lied.. on the other hand if this is an unpaid encounter you dont have much to worry about as far as being scammed or not getting service. It may be a waste of time, but you wouldnt have much else to lose. Its very rare for a dancer, or even a civilian to want absolutely nothing besides a hookup, especially if they are the one chasing you
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@GordieBoi. Thanks for taking the time to comment. To clarify a bit, I’ve never seen “Harry Met Sally” which may explain why the majority of my friends are female. Many without any sexual tension either way. I don’t believe that either of us has any unspoken issues. We are friends and speak very freely. She has a BF who takes care of her financially and isn’t going anywhere. She still works and has two regular paying Johns. I have a pseudo-GF former dancer working as a cocktail waitress at a different club that she is fully aware of. We talk about our adventures and laugh – a lot.
She never disappeared. I’m the wandering stranger not her. We now communicate via email about once every three months. There is no emotional turmoil going on. She has never asked for anything and has turned down my offer of help should she need it. We are not going to become a thing and we both know it. For me it really is about not fucking up what is currently a great memory of what a night of fucking should be.
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@rickmacrodong. Yes, she worked and continues to work in a club. The first time I was in a bad mood and stopped at her club for one last drink. I’d never seen her before and she was already dressed in civilian clothes having finished her shift. She came and sat down beside me. I wasn’t interested in company but she managed to change my mind. She has a special conversational talent. We went to my hotel and had a night and a half morning of fireworks sex.
As best I can remember, there was not any kind of upfront request for compensation though it was probably understood and unstated. I’m sure that I gave her “taxi fare” in the morning. I went back the next night looking for her but she wasn’t there. It wasn’t until after the scamdemic that I met up with her still working in the same club though I wasn’t sure it was her. It had been years.
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Many seem to be concerned about her lying. I’m not concerned at all. What woman doesn’t lie. Why did she lie? I’m not sure but if I had to guess it was probably her way of fucking with me. After all, I would imagine that most women might feel some what insulted if some guy that they had slept with couldn’t remember for sure that she was the one they had fucked.
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∆ 🔺 ✓ - I would just wait & see if da' confusion goes away. Judge based off of value, if there is value without conflict, score it!
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^ Stripperlover it's Pathetic That You Feel The Need To Thumbs Up Every Comment You Read But It's Really Tacky Dipshit When You Continually Thumbs Up Your Own Posts
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@BabyDoc Here's my two cents, with the caveat that I probably have more cents than I have sense... :)
First, a wee bit of background. In my years of clubbing, I've had a couple of dancers develop some real feelings for me. It may not happen often, but it has happened. But, of course, genuine feelings creeping into a customer/dancer relationship can be tough in many situations, and with regard to one girl in particular, I've found myself having to deal with seriously conflicting memories...
So while I wouldn't want to tell you what you should do in your case, I can at least give you the super-shortened version of how I dealt with my situation. Eventually, I learned to just cherish*** the many great memories with her, and basically ignore some of the tougher memories that were mostly a consequence of our particular circumstances. At least for me, I eventually figured out that there was no way in hell I would have traded all those totally awesome memories just to avoid the ones that weren't quite so rosy! I figured, what the hell, this is life, right?!? I mean, sure, just when I'm hoping for chicken cordon bleu, life might serve me a cold chicken nugget instead, or even worse, I may get a shit sandwich on stale bread...lol But damn, I like those great memories, so I sometimes put up with some not so great memories so I can eventually (hopefully) have ANOTHER great one!
Having said all of this, I'm not suggesting that you adopt a similar approach for your particular situation. We all have different life circumstances, philosophies, etc. But if anything I've said helps you in some small way with your decision, awesome... :)
***Yes, @rickthelion, I had to go and use the word 'cherish' here, which most definitely makes me sound a bit like a greeting card... :)
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Babydoc you met her in the club again even the second time, and no payment of any kind discussed or given, no dances from her either? And she is in her 20s/30s and you are in your 60s?
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Why does she work and have two regular paying johns if she also has a BF who takes care of her financially. The BF must not be able to provide much since she is still working
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