ATF or Fuck Buddy or ATF Buddy.

I should’ve added i almost never see her in the club nowadays she dances on nightshift still and i never go on night shift now

She is still your ATF.

shadowcat has spoken, that’s it. It’s over!

You're her sugar daddy. It's still very transactional for her, but she knows you'll be back with more even if once in a while you don't, or can't, give her some, and she's not willing to risk *everything* complaining about an occasional "lapse" on your part.

Much of a muchness I have with my sugar baby right now.

Ever break down just how much she has cost you dollar-wise over the time that you've known her?
I'm just curious for research purposes comparing this relationship to marriage...

@Jaacoi I definitely keep track. And the number goes down every year.

@geo Doesn’t sugaring mean a set price monthly? That’s too close to marriage

GMD is right, sugaring. Not all sugaring is pay-per. It's a blurred line between contemporary marriage and sugaring. The nature of both vary greatly depending on the two people involved.

I still send the occasional benjy, or even a grand, to strippers in areas I don't spend time in any more. I got bonuses for past good performance, why shouldn't they? I just stick to the Beatle rule, money can't buy you love. Or gratitude.

If she stopped wanting any money from you, it might feel like a competitive success, but it wouldn't increase your sexual satisfaction. I can only say, as an old man, the sexual satisfaction stays with you more than the competitive sucesses.

There aren’t rules to the game. There are good practices and there are patterns of play that are general guidelines, but these transactional semi-personal relationships each have their own truths. It takes two people to make it work and it needs to work for each of them if it’s going to be sustained. Sounds like it’s still working for you and that you’ve decreased your spend (somewhat accidentally?) while maintaining your level of service. If you’ve noticed, she’s likely noticed or she will eventually notice. She probably likes having sex with you but if she feels insulted that you’ve decreased your spend?

You have some control over how this goes. Keep it at the same level, decrease your spend, or cut it off. It’s up to you to decide what you want and go for it. Whatever you call it is irrelevant.

@ilbbaicnl

@Hank Moody

All good points

I agree with others that you've moved on from ATF to sugar status. It sounds awesome, enjoy.

@IwantHerOnMe: "Doesn’t sugaring mean a set price monthly? That’s too close to marriage"

Nope, doesn't always even mean direct cash. I paid my ATF's phone bill until she got married. My current SB sometimes just wants dinner and a night out. I even made dinner for her and the kids a couple of times when she was feeling like shit.

To be clear, it's *usually* cash, but not always.

You're her sugar daddy, although definitely a more informal one rather than a strictly negotiated situation.

It's nice for her because it's the highest level of plausible deniability she's a sex worker, while she still gets cash in her pocket. Meanwhile you still get laid but don't feel like as much of an ATM

@JamesSD I don't mind being a ATM as long as she withdraws what I need withdrawn LOLOLOLOL

Seems like we feel the need to wear a thick condom of cynicism to avoid the STD of rubehood.

Minimally, she's the best kind of person to do business with, using a win-win, not a zero sum approach. She recognizes that a premium experience for a good repeat customer is a win-win. And, in any job, when somebody works harder without insisting on more money, that likely means they like the work, at least relatively.

@ilbbaicnl I think you summed it up in the best way possible.