road trip
gregmoss
I'm a retired dude taking a road trip from DC to the Florida Keys. Looking to hit seedy clubs with available mileage extras. Ha. (maybe a pipe dream but . . .) Need to map my route. Any suggestions for monger clubs along the way.
8 comments
Platinum West is a Deja Vu club. Expensive and no VIP rooms.
Virginia and NC are wastelands. Nicole's formerly was a decent stop, just North of Charlotte, but it's reported as closed.
As Shadow says, Atlanta is your mid-trip target. Plan to spend a couple days. I'd suggest Pink Pony for the eye-candy, but won't likely meet your mileage specs.
I presume you're making a loop - as in, driving South along one of Florida's coasts, and then up the other on the return leg? If so, I'd suggest after Atlanta (going South on the Eastern/Atlantic side):
- Jacksonville for Sinsation's and Wacko's.
- Palm Beach for Cheetah PB.
- Pompano Triangle for Cheetah P, Diamond Dolls, and Booby Trap
- Hallandale for Cheetah H (my favorite club)
There are other Florida clubs, but typically lower mileage. Once you're South of Hallandale, I'm not much help. Again, many clubs, but mileage becomes iffy and prices skyrocket. Finally, Key West offers Red Garter, which is fun but low mileage. Good LDs though, and you can hang on Duval St afterward.
On the return leg:
- Scarlet's Ybor Strip and 2001 Odyssey (maybe, not a fan) in Tampa
- Oz in Clearwater. Big fan of, by the way. Suggest you check reviews.
- Pasco County (North of Clearwater), including: Bare Assets, Red Room, and Brass Flamingo.
- Atlanta again, and then boom, you're back in DC, the home of hot babes, but not action. And those clubs could rule, if politicians kept their filthy meddlesome paws to themselves.
Have fun and of course, report back!
If you take 95 all the way down through Florida, the Coca Beach clubs are probably worth the detour, especially if you consider the actual scenery and not just the strippers. They're not the best the state has to offer IMO, but not bad. And spending an afternoon or evening in Coca can be nice.
I wouldn't bother with the PSL/Stuart clubs. They're not horrible but I get the impression they cater to locals from my limited experience there. There really ain't shit else to see around there either to redeem the area. In Palm Beach, the seedier clubs are probably the Rose and Ultra. Rose can be quite ghetto, especially at night and during the day the girls tend to be older and larger, or just straight uglier. Ultra isn't as bad in those regards, but the girls are more average than hot though. The other clubs don't really fit the seedy description except for Runway 69, and it just sucks all around. Overall, I don't see any reason to bother with these clubs if you're just passing through. If you're looking to kill a few hours, you could do worse, though I'd still save my money and rest up to spend more down in Pompano.
The Pompano clubs probably all fit your description. Porthole and Pink are the seediest, but not the best. Cheetah Pompano is the best of the area by far and remains consistent. Diamond Dolls is the next best on an upward trend, with Booby Trap on a fairly steady downward trend. Solid Gold and Senioritas are only busy on absolutely peak shifts, otherwise only occasionally have anything worth seeing. This area, IMO, offers the best balance and variety of strip clubs in south Florida. You could setup a base camp at Hard Rock or something and hit the area a couple days/nights.
As you continue south, sticking with the seedy preference, Goldfinger can be a bit on that side but is also a bit out of the way and while not bad probably isn't worth the detour. Club Lex and Foxy lady are probably the seediest joints in greater Miami, but I'm not a fan of them. Seedy isn't required for availability for extras around here. If you've got other criteria beyond being seedy and extra friendly, I can give some recos, but need details on what you're looking for. Otherwise, check the reviews. Aside from Scarlett's, Vixens, and the clip joints in Miami Beach I think pretty much everywhere else extras are openly available. Be warned, the girls in these clubs can be fucking sharks. If you aren't, recognize that you're bait and act accordingly.
In south Miami, after 95 dumps you on to US1, I'd say you hit the pinnacle of seedy at Bare Necessity in Kendall. Following down US1, all those clubs are pretty seedy. I remind you that seedy is not the only way to get extras around here tho, IMO those clubs aren't really worth choosing over the greater Miami or especially Pompano clubs. More money for lower quality girls, but if seedy is what you seek, they deliver.
In the Keys, with the closure of Woodys, there's nothing till Key West. My experience there is pretty dated, and limited to Fantasy Fest/Labor Day/Memorial Day weekends where it's extra touristy. I'll say stay the fuck out of VIP Club for sure though. Teasers and Red Garter have been fun, but I've never once looked for extras down there so honestly couldn't tell ya what's available. I can tell you I've got friends who live there and they routinely ask to go to the Pompano clubs when they're up this way visiting, which kinda says it all.
If you're road tripping, you can scout on your way south and then revisit with purpose on the way north. You could also detour to the west coast, Tampa/Pasco area one way. If you stay on the east coast going south, you can backtrack up through Pompano and then cut across to Tampa/Pasco around the Palm Beach area. It's been a few years since I've clubbed in that area and they've had some storms over there recently, so I don't really know what's what over there right now.
I would agree, there's nothing around here currently like the clubs I remember Akron. Porthole and Mermaid used to be pretty similar to what you'd find there, but Porthole has evolved and Mermaid closed. But, my Akron experience is pre-Covid and highly suspect at this point. Thankfully, I haven't had to go to Ohio in years.
Along the I-95 corridor there’s really nothing in VA or NC, unless you want to make a detour through Raleigh. Once you get into SC, there were once a few decent clubs in the Myrtle Beach area. But it’s been awhile.
From there you’re basically into Jacksonville, which has a few clubs that might be worth checking out. Then there’s basically nothing until Cocoa Beach. Again, these are probably all just drop in types of places, with low expectations.
From there there’s literally nothing until you reach West Palm that has a few clubs to check out. But what you’re really looking for is 30 miles farther south in Pompano, wheee you can spend as much time and money as you want since this will be the highlight of your trip.
Continuing south, you might want to hit up Cheetah, Scarlett’s, and Tootsies in Hallandale / Miami Gardens.
Then there’s nothing to see on the ride down through the Keys. Key West has : clubs that cater primarily to tourists.
Have fun! Travel safe.