So much shit have been written about consequences of dating dancers, and I never figure it would happen to me. About 1 yr ago, I met a dancer and we really clicked. Yes, yes I know...its all a game, but somehow this was genuine. She spent 2-3hrs at a time with me, and I hardly give her $$$. 1-2 months in, she suggest we go out. I hesitated, but agree after her 3rd attempt (guys, take a hint,don't be so eager if you want results). In any event, one day she got fired from her club. Told me the manager disliked her. She ended going to a club 40 miles away. Tonight, I visited her old club; talking with another dancer, I found out my she got fired for having sex in the VIP. I was floored. Since I knew her, she kept stressing to me she wasn't into the dirty stuff. My question now is, do I confront her or leave things be. Of course, its one dancers word vs another. I don't have any proof. I can't judge her since I've paid strippers and escorts for sex myself. I don't want to ruin a good thing, but I can't handle knowing she might be fucking other ppl at the club. Advice?
Managers do not fire dancers because they do not like them. Dancers provide the club with income. Dancers have to do some thing to make managers not like them. Drug use ITC is the most common reason. Going beyond the club rules with sex is another. As long as she is treating you the way you want to be treated, go for it. Just remember, you may just be getting a lot of stripper shit.
Dancers do sometimes get fired because managers don't like them---there isn't a one size fits all rule. A beautiful example is the nonsense that was happening at The Trap. White dancers could work forever and violate rules and basically were given leeway. I saw black dancer after black dancer get canned. The original explanation was that the black dancers were just too wild and refused to obey the rules; or left voluntarily (a HUGE WHOPPER of a lie, btw). OK, didn't seem too outlandish about refusing to obey the rules in that black women, imo, seem generally to have a more dominant and wild streak compared to the typical white dancer. But, NO that wasn't what was happening at all. The black dancers just weren't wanted---period. It was just another stupid racist game that was being played among many to try desperately to keep the club white. See, The Trap wasn't just canning dominant rule violating black dancers. They canned sweet submissive dancers that were smoking hot. They went so far as to lie to me and claim one of the dancers didn't want to work there and had left voluntarily! Only as I learned more and more was the truth finally admitted: The black dancers had no value in club's eyes; no matter how hot or nice or whatever.
At Angels if the manager doesn't like the dancer same deal. Screw the "money" the dancer brings in. The clubs have the power and NOT the customers or dancers----wonderful government at work.
Coco's had even more dominant management than Angels--at least when I was familar with Coco's management. RolLexx *supposedly* isn't run for the dollar----I say supposedly because I don't know the management, but it wouldn't shock in the least if money wasn't the primary objective or if it was.
Anyway, there isn't a one size fits all rule. Some clubs might be all about the money and in other clubs different games may rule.
Jablake -
I am suprised how much the situation that you describe in strip clubs - matches the situation at my (industrial) job. In a tight job market, managers have huge power; they can (and do) insist on lots of extras (work, not sex), they play favourites, they take credit for the money that you earn for the company, they blame underlings for their mistakes. They get rid of anyone they don't like.
Good God - is corporate life in America now like working in a giant strip club ?? (Where the only boob that you will see is the boss....)
The same nonsense takes place in construction work depending on who is running the show. The owner of a roofing company was riding one of the best workers demanding all manner of free help for different projects. Well, the worker wants to be paid. Well, that is a good way to get fired as he learned. Once the worker gets fired then he understands that basically he is screwed every which way unless he obeys. He has a wife and child and other responsibilities that don't disappear when the income does.
I just think it is human nature to abuse power.
To be fair to the stripclub managers some of these dancers are more than a little challenging to manage. So, if the dancers can act crazy perhaps the manager feels he should have the same rights.
At one company a friend worked for the manager was wonderful except that he had an extreme weakness for a certain very hot very young woman. The hottie is driving everyone crazy and the manager is trying to douse (behind the hottie's back) all the fires she is starting. So the other women (married or not) in the company want to be the manager's favorite because putting out is nothing compared to all the perks the manager has given her----sexual harassment can be wonderful if you on the receiving end. :) So my buddy says he wouldn't mind playing catch or doing whatever for the manager, which had me choking. He says hell the manager is super nice and super generous and if that is what it takes to get ahead then he's ready to play ball. I'm looking at him like he has lost his mind because at the time homosexuality wasn't nearly as acceptable as it is today. But, he didn't back down.
Rules on dating dancers ARE:
1. Dont date a dancer
2. DONT date a dancer
3. DO NOT DATE A DANCER
4. but its OK to sleep with them just use protection.
seriously though if a dancer gets fired its usually because she did something in the club that management did not want going on in the club. it could be having an attitude to maybe doing ITC or OTC favors. who knows what she really did. best to just stay away
I'm glad I only run into dancers that want to skip all the dating stuff and get down to business. First time I visited the VIP... Just kidding.
Dancers lie all the time about not being involved with other guys especially if she thinks you care about that. They see hundreds of guys every week if they work in a busy club. As a guy if you worked in a club and you had hundreds of girls wanting to get dances from you and several wanting to screw you and you told a few that they were special and you weren't sleeping around with anyone else, how many girls do you think would believe you? Probably a few.
Okay, here is how a *real* dancer boyfriend would react:
Dancer: "Fuckin' manager fired me today"
Boyfriend: "Fuckin' asshole! Why?"
Dancer: "Cause, he caught me fuckin' in VIP!"
Boyfriend: "Baby, I done tole you to be more careful... you need to get them guys to springs for a mo-tel. Fuckin' cheap-ass guys!"
Girlfriend: "I'm so sorry, baby"
Boyfriend: *strikes Dancer* "Bitch! how'm I supposed to pay for my fuckin' truck now! You better have some good pussy for craigslist, bitch!"
Dancer: *cried*
Boyfriend: "I'm sorry baby, you know I need that truck!"
Dancer: "I love you baby, I'll make it right, I promise!"
...
If you feel comfortable playing the role of Boyfriend, by all means have at it! Otherwise, probably best not to get too wrapped up in the Stripper Dating scene.
I would say it depends on what you want out of your relationship with her. If you're ok with just getting action and not knowing the truth then continue on like you never heard otherwise. If you *have* to know for whatever reason then confront her about it (in a non-threatening way). Just make sure you're ready for her response, whatever it turns out to be.
Other things you might want to think about:
Who do you believe right now? Your S or the one from the old club? Did the other one know you are dating the one who left? How did the topic come up? A lot of interpretation can be made from the way a woman says something.
Also, which bothers you more--the fact that she might have lied or the fact that she might be doing the nasty with customers in the present? (I know they're related.) How would you feel if she admitted she was doing it, but really cared for you? (and you believed her) A lot of questions I know but there are a lot of angles to this one.
Whatever else you do I would not break up with her without finding out what the deal was first (to your own satisfaction). I have a tendency to do things like that, and it can lead to regrets.
I don't envy you right now. I'd be interested in hearing what happens, if you're comfortable sharing. Good luck
It's easy for a guy to feel flattered that a hot young dancer would want to go out with him. It's also easy for a dancer to take all of his money and dump him.
It's also easy for a younger woman who's spent her whole life with child-like thuggish males to find the stability (and reliability in earning power) of an older male to be attractive in a more true, less manipulative or money-grubbing, sense.
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Dancers do lie about other dancers. But, dancers do have sex in the VIP.
If you don't want to ruin a good thing and you can't handle knowing, then things be.
Dancers do sometimes get fired because managers don't like them---there isn't a one size fits all rule. A beautiful example is the nonsense that was happening at The Trap. White dancers could work forever and violate rules and basically were given leeway. I saw black dancer after black dancer get canned. The original explanation was that the black dancers were just too wild and refused to obey the rules; or left voluntarily (a HUGE WHOPPER of a lie, btw). OK, didn't seem too outlandish about refusing to obey the rules in that black women, imo, seem generally to have a more dominant and wild streak compared to the typical white dancer. But, NO that wasn't what was happening at all. The black dancers just weren't wanted---period. It was just another stupid racist game that was being played among many to try desperately to keep the club white. See, The Trap wasn't just canning dominant rule violating black dancers. They canned sweet submissive dancers that were smoking hot. They went so far as to lie to me and claim one of the dancers didn't want to work there and had left voluntarily! Only as I learned more and more was the truth finally admitted: The black dancers had no value in club's eyes; no matter how hot or nice or whatever.
At Angels if the manager doesn't like the dancer same deal. Screw the "money" the dancer brings in. The clubs have the power and NOT the customers or dancers----wonderful government at work.
Coco's had even more dominant management than Angels--at least when I was familar with Coco's management. RolLexx *supposedly* isn't run for the dollar----I say supposedly because I don't know the management, but it wouldn't shock in the least if money wasn't the primary objective or if it was.
Anyway, there isn't a one size fits all rule. Some clubs might be all about the money and in other clubs different games may rule.
I am suprised how much the situation that you describe in strip clubs - matches the situation at my (industrial) job. In a tight job market, managers have huge power; they can (and do) insist on lots of extras (work, not sex), they play favourites, they take credit for the money that you earn for the company, they blame underlings for their mistakes. They get rid of anyone they don't like.
Good God - is corporate life in America now like working in a giant strip club ?? (Where the only boob that you will see is the boss....)
The same nonsense takes place in construction work depending on who is running the show. The owner of a roofing company was riding one of the best workers demanding all manner of free help for different projects. Well, the worker wants to be paid. Well, that is a good way to get fired as he learned. Once the worker gets fired then he understands that basically he is screwed every which way unless he obeys. He has a wife and child and other responsibilities that don't disappear when the income does.
I just think it is human nature to abuse power.
To be fair to the stripclub managers some of these dancers are more than a little challenging to manage. So, if the dancers can act crazy perhaps the manager feels he should have the same rights.
At one company a friend worked for the manager was wonderful except that he had an extreme weakness for a certain very hot very young woman. The hottie is driving everyone crazy and the manager is trying to douse (behind the hottie's back) all the fires she is starting. So the other women (married or not) in the company want to be the manager's favorite because putting out is nothing compared to all the perks the manager has given her----sexual harassment can be wonderful if you on the receiving end. :) So my buddy says he wouldn't mind playing catch or doing whatever for the manager, which had me choking. He says hell the manager is super nice and super generous and if that is what it takes to get ahead then he's ready to play ball. I'm looking at him like he has lost his mind because at the time homosexuality wasn't nearly as acceptable as it is today. But, he didn't back down.
1. Dont date a dancer
2. DONT date a dancer
3. DO NOT DATE A DANCER
4. but its OK to sleep with them just use protection.
seriously though if a dancer gets fired its usually because she did something in the club that management did not want going on in the club. it could be having an attitude to maybe doing ITC or OTC favors. who knows what she really did. best to just stay away
Dancers lie all the time about not being involved with other guys especially if she thinks you care about that. They see hundreds of guys every week if they work in a busy club. As a guy if you worked in a club and you had hundreds of girls wanting to get dances from you and several wanting to screw you and you told a few that they were special and you weren't sleeping around with anyone else, how many girls do you think would believe you? Probably a few.
Dancer: "Fuckin' manager fired me today"
Boyfriend: "Fuckin' asshole! Why?"
Dancer: "Cause, he caught me fuckin' in VIP!"
Boyfriend: "Baby, I done tole you to be more careful... you need to get them guys to springs for a mo-tel. Fuckin' cheap-ass guys!"
Girlfriend: "I'm so sorry, baby"
Boyfriend: *strikes Dancer* "Bitch! how'm I supposed to pay for my fuckin' truck now! You better have some good pussy for craigslist, bitch!"
Dancer: *cried*
Boyfriend: "I'm sorry baby, you know I need that truck!"
Dancer: "I love you baby, I'll make it right, I promise!"
...
If you feel comfortable playing the role of Boyfriend, by all means have at it! Otherwise, probably best not to get too wrapped up in the Stripper Dating scene.
O.
Other things you might want to think about:
Who do you believe right now? Your S or the one from the old club? Did the other one know you are dating the one who left? How did the topic come up? A lot of interpretation can be made from the way a woman says something.
Also, which bothers you more--the fact that she might have lied or the fact that she might be doing the nasty with customers in the present? (I know they're related.) How would you feel if she admitted she was doing it, but really cared for you? (and you believed her) A lot of questions I know but there are a lot of angles to this one.
Whatever else you do I would not break up with her without finding out what the deal was first (to your own satisfaction). I have a tendency to do things like that, and it can lead to regrets.
I don't envy you right now. I'd be interested in hearing what happens, if you're comfortable sharing. Good luck