Stripper Pseudocyesis 4 $$$ - I was right :)
jablake
Probably around 2 months ago I was talking with my stripper buddy (the gambling stripper) about some dances that I'd bought over at Angels. She had wanted all the latest details and gossip. One of the dancers that I mentioned buying dances from raised her eyebrows and eventually her ire. Stripper buddy says "That doesn't make any sense. She's not your type." I say well she is pregnant and needed a little help. Oops!!! :)
Stripper buddy says with a rising voice "Did she look pregnant?" I say "No." She then gives me the oculogyric and says "And, you believed her?! These hos be lying about everything especially pregnancy. They always be taking advantage of you 'cause you're too nice." I say "But, she is really pregnant!" Stripper buddy gives me another oculogyric and says hotly "And, how do you know if she didn't look pregnant?" I say "The tone of her voice and her eyes." Now she gives the oculogyric combined with vigorous head shaking. She says "You need to stop being so nice and trusting. Those hos only care about your $$$."
At this point I give her the old non-oculogyric. She says "What? It is the the truth. There be NO WAY that ho is pregnant. Hos always lie about pregnancy to get sympathy. You got took!" I laughed and smiled and said "You don't have much confidence in me." She says "I know you be too nice is all and those bitches ain't nice like you." I say "If she is pregnant, then it was wrong to help her out a little bit?" In exasperation she proclaims "That bitch just be lying her ass off. She ain't NO MORE pregnant than I am! You need to open your eyes!"
I haven't told my stripper buddy that now the "lying ho, bitch, whatever" is sporting a pregnant stomach (yes, I bought more dances). Wouldn't chasten her future judgements a bit anyway--she is going to continue to play the numbers game and the selfish game and the stereotype game.
27 comments
BTW, I *easily* could have been wrong and in that case the scam, stripper pseudocyesis, would have taken a few dollars out of my pocket that I would have rather spent on another dancer. Would I have been all bent of shape if learned that it was a scam? No. But, I do feel good that she was telling me the truth. She seems very easy to detect because when she is BSing she won't look me in the eyes for long and her voice is unsteady. If a scammer can pull the same acting, then that is a treat, imo. :)
And, yes I LOVE the scammer who can provide the GFE. I wish my gambling stripper buddy would be doing that for me! :)
My impression is that many male customers are down on pregnant dancers and tell them so (Shouldn't there be an "Obnoxious Jerk" club next to every "Gentleman's Club" just for this sort of customer ? ) Anyway, it seems to reduce the number of expectant dancers who keep working for a bit.
Is there a problem using an adjective as a noun? Or, did I just use an incorrect form?
Yes, the stripper pseudocyesis (every dancer imo has been telling the truth to *me*; gambling stripper claims they're all lying) would work like a charm assuming she is a wonderful actress because yes, I do want to help out at least a little if a stripper is facing baby bills.
Very few customers from what I can see appreciate pregnant dancers. For me it is the dancer's looks that are important. If she looked hot before getting pregnant, then there is a fair chance she'll look hot after getting pregnant. Now, if she is still hot while being pregnant and she has a good attitude, then I'm probably going to be very HAPPY! :)
The scam takes advantage of a customer's good nature. Maybe that is why I think I've only experienced it when in fact it isn't a scam. Gambling stripper thinks it would be shocking if it wasn't a scam i.e. the dancer was actually pregnant.
It is bodacious to meet another person that appreciates a well executed scam even when they're the mark. :) I find said scam very didactive.
having well-shaped buttocks ----http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/d… ----
If I call up the local escort service and request a callipygian, then, imo, it seems like a fine and dandy noun. :) Sorta like how I could order a steatopygia (noun). IOWs, if I don't turn the adjective, callipygian, into a noun then it becomes, to me, less valuable.
At least one of my ancient grammar textbooks (I wish I still had it, btw) claimed that it was permissible to use nouns as adjectives and vice versa. I'm hardly an expert on the subject, but then again some experts I disagree with volcanically. ;)
"In both Spanish and English, it is common to use adjectives as nouns." ----http://spanish.about.com/b/2007/07/06/tu… ---- "An adjective used as a noun is always . . . ." ---- http://www.edufind.com/ENGLISH/englishte… ----
"5.94: Adjectives as nouns" ---- http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/sear… ----
"Jablake, adjectives modify nouns, they are normally not used as a noun."
Keyword is normally. :)
Besides being tempted by "ian" suffix of callipygian as zorro pointed out, it is also the definition of the word itself that is tempting. "Having beautifully proportioned buttocks . . . From Greek kallipugos : kalli-, beautiful (from kallos, beauty) + pug, buttocks." ---- http://www.bartleby.com/61/3/C0040300.ht… ---- IOWs, you have the noun "buttocks" being described and modified by "beautifully proportioned." So, somehow it was decided by learned scholars that the end result equals an adjective??? I wish I understood their reasoning a little better.
If anyone would care for the antonym for callipygian, then cacopygian may fill the bill. "Having ugly buttocks." ---- http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cacopygian ---- Or maybe dasypygal - "having hairy buttocks." ----http://www.kokogiak.com/logolepsy/ow_d.h… ----
But, I don't be thinking nouns and adjectives are interchangeable. However, one may "properly" use an adjective as a noun or a noun as a verb or a noun as a adjective. As to the second part of your sentence, I disagree there as well. :)
OK, now for the important stuff: let's discuss $5 dances. :)
"Out with the old, in with the new" is the classic example of how substantives are used, in this case the adjective forms "old" and "new".
Just sayin'!
O.
Thank you, ozymandias. :) I might have been taught that decades ago, but I sure as hell forgot it. The ancient textbook encouraged the use of adjectives as nouns as well as other creative constructions. It made English grammar "come alive." :) Its main negative, imo, is that it was too brief sorta like that Strunk whatever book.
I may have unintentionally misused or at least overly abused oculogyric. The first time I saw oculogyric it defined and used as an adjective to express in a fanciful and humorous manner the act of *eye-rolling*. Later brief research seem to indicate it is more of a medical term.
Sorry, but I don't understand your question. It appears that I used oculogyric 3 times in separate sentences and with giving it a tremendous amount of thought it seemed like it was being used as an adverb and wasn't modifying a noun implied or otherwise. I also used non-oculogyric 1 time. (In the first sentence of this post it seems like the implied noun for oculogyric is word or term.) Anyway, have to run cause the barbarians are at the door.
This one dancer was extremely pregnant and the price was supposed to be $5 per song, but she was so grateful for my business that she adjusted it to 2 songs for $5 i.e. buy one get one free. Very sensual dances and I could feel her baby kicking the hell out of her. The real treat was her eye contact; her irises were practically eclipsed to extinction by extremely enlarged pupils. Had me in an oneiric state of oneness with her.
She later explained in her words that it was just "a scam" "a trick" "a fraud" and that most every guy if they liked eye contact would fall for it. Not only did I fall for it, I loved it insanely. :) She could make her pupils almost invisible or enlarge them to the point where her irises were gone or at least very difficult to see. She could do it fast or slow. When I spoke with an optometrist about it he was greatly surprised and amused; he hadn't thought it was possible, but that it was definitely a neat trick.
My eleemosynary and in this instance selfish acts was JACKPOT CITY. :) :) :) Made me feel especially good about giving.
Notation: think collective nouns.
"Substantive is the technical term for a word or group of words acting as a noun. Since modern grammar is more concerned with the way words function in a sentence than with part-of-speech designations in a dictionary, it's a little different from the conventional understanding of noun, but it's very close. Virtually all nouns are substantives; so are pronouns like he, she, it, and they. It can also include adjectives if they're used "absolutely" — the homeless, for instance, or the wicked. [Entry added 14 Sept. 2004.]" ---- http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Wri… ---
"The biggest, the greatest or the heaviest dictionaries are no match for public opinion when it comes to language. A language is a very democratic thing -- it goes where its speakers take it.
In spite of what many people believe, dictionaries are supposed to follow the language, not the other way round. In fact, that's exactly how dictionaries are made: by observing and recording how people are using words." ---- http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/C… ----
Just a couple blurbs & links for those who are interested.
Hi casualguy,
Yes, cyesolagnia (also maieusiophilia, btw) hardly seem common and perhaps that is why stripper pseudocyesis isn't prevalent. I'm definitely a sucker for this scam, but as I said before I think the strippers were telling me the truth so it wasn't actually a scam or maybe it was in some cases. Of course, just because a man doesn't have a sexual attraction to pregnant women doesn't mean the old knight in shining armor syndrome wouldn't kick in.
"1. You may not start a sentence with because.
2. You may not start a sentence with and or but.
3. Sometimes periods and commas go inside the quotation marks and sometimes they go outside; it depends on the sentence.
4. You may not end a sentence with a preposition.
5. You may not split an infinitive."
---- http://www.simonsays.com/content/book.cf… ---
It's sort of humorous that those who enjoy stripclubs would be so interested in living by other people's rules even when those rules aren't laws. I doubt we'd enjoy either booze or dancers or speeding if some brave criminal souls weren't willing to rip the envelope open or at least in the case of Playboy magazine push push push. Of couse, maybe society would be better off if people blinding obeyed their betters (government officials). :)
Young dancers in general seem to LOVE vampires for whatever reason. A cute fun book with plenty of "goth like" drawings.