Got A Phone Number
I probably know the answer but I'm asking anyhow. I went to a club with some friends not looking for anything than fun because i'm moving far away.Long story short, was approached by a dancer and found out we had some things culturally in common. She went on stage and danced but took only her top off and she looked very nervous. She came right over to me and We ended up going to the VIP. The usual happened then had a really deep discussion when asked me about some scars I had and a tattoo and I was vague telling her I got them in the military. She seemed shocked and almost upset and I told her I was overseas but wouldn't elaborate. (I was wounded in action and have a few very bad scars on my body . We talked about trauma and i felt a little uncomfortable talking about it to a stranger. I could tell she has had trauma she admitted it she had. She opened up that she was uncomfortable with doing this work and admitted its good money. We both agreed we arent looking for relationships becaise of her job and i because am away frequently not to mention im moving 3000 miles away for good. We had a really good talk. At the end she gave me her number, and a name, but then said "no, my real name is ****". I texted her back and she replied it's been nice. She knows I'm leaving in a few days and wants to see me one more time before her shift before she starts dancing and I move and but said she wants to stay in touch with me and that she never met "someone in a war before especially wounded". So.....is she full of shit or is she legit? I know people dehumanizing strippers which I think is horrible and I want to believe we can be friends. Am I an idiot or what?Got something to say?
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28 comments
I've had a few experiences where they talked about going on a civvy date, but it never really happened. Not sure what it was about. I think they were waiting to see if I swallowed the hook, before they pulled back the pole to set it.
Been a dedicated PL for more than 15 years. I'm not more wary of strippers than I am of people in general. But I am pretty wary of people in general.
This. My greatest regrets are missing and not following through on obvious signs. I had a couple weeknights to myself back in the day and during a dance the girl said she wanted to fuck me. The girl was a club legend and is mentioned in a lot of the archived reviews here. I thought it was just SS and didn’t get digits or otherwise follow through. Didn’t go back and see her the next night. Several months later I saw her in the club and she said “remember that night I was going to fuck you” but the moment had passed. The lesson as always, for everything I’ve done right, I’m still an idiot.
she was sorry and tired . I told her I was too and asked her if she wanted to meet for breakfast. No reply.. then I tactically asked for picture of her and she replied "sorry babe, I don't do pictures ". The takeaway....I got enough insight into her mind to know that she's doing what she needs to do to survive. Who or whatever hurt her must have been a doozy. I'm not mad, I feel badly for her..I hope she one day finds peace. I was a mess after I came back and that's an understatement , but years later and tons of rebuilding, I'm OK. I'm a little disappointed and like many survivors of trauma, want to save others and protect those who can't. I wanted to be her shelter but also realize , she doesn't need or want my help. I learned something about a world I didn't really know. I'll be far away from this place soon enough and I'll shake this off, but I won't ever make this mistake again. Thanks to all you good people who gave me enough "intel" to keep my head on a swivel.
Thanks for your service.
Lesson learned plus every experience will be different. Super cool that you tried and probably would of been ok with spending some money (just not a ton) to help her out.
It cost you some (valuable) time, but you learned and gained some insight into the bizarro world of clubs/dancers and knowledge is valuable.
You had a cool response too. Like yeah she probably (or most likely) tried to play you, but you didn't fall for it. So what can you do besides say fuck it and move on right!
Happy, and safe, travels to you.
it is getting too complicated.
plenty of fish in the sea.
Jascoi, that's a fact. The stripper world is complex..good for you all being able to navigate it. Respect.
Hank Moody, thank you again. Yeah, other than a little bruise on my heart..unscathed and again, VERY grateful to you and all for the heads up..
At end of the date maybe try to kiss her and see if she pulls back or her reaction. That will tell you all you need to know. If in doubt go for a second date. By then you will know 100%. I wouldnt pass her up though, she could be legit and if you pass you could be thinking about it 20 years frm now as a "I should've".
Harder for her to pull shit at a hotel.
You’re right about stripper PTSD not being much different from what you experienced, but this is her cross to bear, not yours.
Move on with your newly acquired wisdom.
This girl has had trauma, you say, and you being the service oriented nice guy you are, wanted to help her. Well, you can't help or fix her. If it seems like a hallmark / lifetime movie plot, as yours did, it's fucked from the start. I'm not dehumanizing them because I often come to their defense when people say they're only about the money. They have feelings, they're real people. But trauma and emotional stuff, stay far away from that.
Someone I heard put it best: "most women these days would just as soon fuck you as they would shake your hand." You can avoid these women, or you can fuck them. That's what you should have done with this little psycho, and then got the hell out of dodge. This is the kind of girl who will bust your car windows and set your shit on fire. Let me reiterate in a very crass but truthful way: you can not help girls like this. You can either leave them alone or you can fuck the crazy right out of them, but you can not be friends or have a relationship with them.
The good ones do it without their intent being detected....those are the dangerous ones. Men in rough spots emotionally are even more likely to be taken for a ride.
Once they get into a guy's head, he is toast.
So, before entering a club, remind yourself that those girls don't need/want to be "fixed", nor do they wish to have anything other than a transactional relationship with you. Once that becomes engrained in the mind of a PL, this hobby is far more enjoyable.