Got A Phone Number

Give it a shot. Expect little hope for the best. You’re moving anyway.

That's true Hank

If you stay alert, what do you have to lose?

Thats true...I want to believe the best in people sometimes having seen the worst. She seemed sincere. I don't have that "look at the sucker" look I don't think LOL. She seemed really awkward even at the club. She didn't dance for anyone else. She even texted me last night saying she was nervous and wanted me to calm her down. I'm a pretty thick skinned guy but she's so tiny and kind of reminded me of a lost puppy. It got me in the feels...but you and Hank are right.. as long as I stay situationally aware and I'm leaving anyhow.

If you enjoy her company, why not? Possible it could be a long con, but not necessarily the case. I'm guessing you two are within 10 years difference in age, which makes it much more likely she's being genuine with you.

I've had a few experiences where they talked about going on a civvy date, but it never really happened. Not sure what it was about. I think they were waiting to see if I swallowed the hook, before they pulled back the pole to set it.

Been a dedicated PL for more than 15 years. I'm not more wary of strippers than I am of people in general. But I am pretty wary of people in general.

Thank you for your service, forgot to say.

Hey ilbbaicnl, 1st, thank you for the support 🫡. Yes, there is a 20 year gap. I don't use my service as a talking/sales point and maybe it threw her off, especially when I legitimately didn't want to elaborate. I'm wary of people like you as well. There are strippers I'm sure in it for the game, revenge and so on, but a salesman can be just as bad. I also realize there is a lot of trauma dancers have had too. I definitely appreciate the insight from you wise folks here, and the reminder to keep aware. I'll definitely keep you updated and hope this is a story with a happy ending...and ending being 2 damaged souls being friends and if I'm able to be a positive thing in her life, even better. Thank you!

I say go for it, but you need to decide right now how you will respond if she asks you for some money. Such as, "I'm quitting this dancer job because I'm uncomfortable with the work. I need $$ to tide me over until I begin my new job next month." Will you give her the money?

*not wary of people like you....wary of people...like you are LOL*

Dont overthink it. Some of my biggest regrets were not following up on dancers who showed interest. Even met a few that provided everything on the menu. Nothing like leasing before you buy. Every woman is a year or 2 away from closing up shop and settling for a guy who is not much to look at, doesnt have the best career but treats her right and is loyal. Might as well be you.....

Yes WiseToo..thought out that scenario too. I dont think I mentioned in my original comment, (we spoke for over an hour and I only pause for 3 dances and gave her a 40.00 tip) but she was adminant when we talked about not wanting to be in relationships because she said"my money is mine and his is his". I'm supposed to meet her before her shift in an hour actually to give her some things I'm not taking to move, from her native country when I visited there. I told her I couldn't stay long since I'm finishing work too, tired and need to be up early. She gave me a sad face emoji but says she understands because she can't be late, and she's going to be too busy to talk over the weekend before her shift (I'm working all weekend too).. thank you wise, another good thing to watch out for too. You never know..

@njballa “Dont overthink it. Some of my biggest regrets were not following up on dancers who showed interest.”

This. My greatest regrets are missing and not following through on obvious signs. I had a couple weeknights to myself back in the day and during a dance the girl said she wanted to fuck me. The girl was a club legend and is mentioned in a lot of the archived reviews here. I thought it was just SS and didn’t get digits or otherwise follow through. Didn’t go back and see her the next night. Several months later I saw her in the club and she said “remember that night I was going to fuck you” but the moment had passed. The lesson as always, for everything I’ve done right, I’m still an idiot.

I've met a number of dancers I consider friends. As long as we keep business and friendship separate, I've had no trouble. I don't give out cash and make that clear if it comes up.

*Update* well....didn't quite turn out as I hoped and turned out exactly as I thought, thanks in large part to you all. I went to her work and waited for her and she texted me that shes was almost there. She said she couldn't wait to see me and need a hug and was anxious about going. I told her I'd wait outside since I wasn't going to stay long being tired and needing a shower. She finally showed up Something seemed off about her as she seemed a little agitated. She said she didn't want to be there and was stressed about having to be there after I left. She was also in street clothes. She wanted me to go upstairs with her and just hang out alone with me. I told her again I didn't want to stay but I'd hang out with her for a half hour or so. Then she "I thought you were going to stay for a couple hours. I told her no, and that I would hang out with her the day before I leave (Next Friday)...then the alarms went off..so I switched gears. I said "let's go hang out a coffee place nearby", she got upset saying she wants to be alone with me..and took my hands. And said again" alone". All i saw was me at the ATM an hour later or getting into a really bad situation I didn't need and would end badly. I said" baby I need to shower and I'm tired. I have a very demanding job but once I was finished my rotation, I'd love to spend time alone and make a night of it so she'd be my last memory of this place I'm moving from. She was very polite but seemed sad and pissed and said " sorry I'll be busy with my other job ( supposedly legit job) and walked away and got in her car and left. I was dumbfounded but then realized...i got played but thougt of something far more sad . She texted me a few minutes later saying
she was sorry and tired . I told her I was too and asked her if she wanted to meet for breakfast. No reply.. then I tactically asked for picture of her and she replied "sorry babe, I don't do pictures ". The takeaway....I got enough insight into her mind to know that she's doing what she needs to do to survive. Who or whatever hurt her must have been a doozy. I'm not mad, I feel badly for her..I hope she one day finds peace. I was a mess after I came back and that's an understatement , but years later and tons of rebuilding, I'm OK. I'm a little disappointed and like many survivors of trauma, want to save others and protect those who can't. I wanted to be her shelter but also realize , she doesn't need or want my help. I learned something about a world I didn't really know. I'll be far away from this place soon enough and I'll shake this off, but I won't ever make this mistake again. Thanks to all you good people who gave me enough "intel" to keep my head on a swivel.

Sounds like you're a good guy.
Thanks for your service.

Lesson learned plus every experience will be different. Super cool that you tried and probably would of been ok with spending some money (just not a ton) to help her out.

It cost you some (valuable) time, but you learned and gained some insight into the bizarro world of clubs/dancers and knowledge is valuable.

You had a cool response too. Like yeah she probably (or most likely) tried to play you, but you didn't fall for it. So what can you do besides say fuck it and move on right!

Happy, and safe, travels to you.

move on.
it is getting too complicated.
plenty of fish in the sea.

Sorry it didn’t work out but you get to move on. No regrets.

Heellover, 🫡 thank you for the support, kind words, and well wishes. I appreciate getting a glimpse into this world and the insight. You guys are awesome.
Jascoi, that's a fact. The stripper world is complex..good for you all being able to navigate it. Respect.
Hank Moody, thank you again. Yeah, other than a little bruise on my heart..unscathed and again, VERY grateful to you and all for the heads up..

Is this at Delilah's? I had a similar situation.

If I were you I wouldnt dismiss her 100%. If anything take her out to dinner or something normal. If she doesnt ask for money to go ut then she may be interested in you beyond just a customer.

At end of the date maybe try to kiss her and see if she pulls back or her reaction. That will tell you all you need to know. If in doubt go for a second date. By then you will know 100%. I wouldnt pass her up though, she could be legit and if you pass you could be thinking about it 20 years frm now as a "I should've".

Well nevermind...seems you have your answer. You should have asked her to a hotel and at least gotten some pussy out of it.

Harder for her to pull shit at a hotel.

Right move to walk away. You'll possibly do it again. We're all human. I am proud you asked and went for it, because the answer to everything we want that we don't ask for is now so how do you lose anything by asking?

Sorry things didn’t work out for you, but this is the case 99% of the time. Good that you kept your spidey senses intact and didn’t get taken for an expensive ride.
You’re right about stripper PTSD not being much different from what you experienced, but this is her cross to bear, not yours.
Move on with your newly acquired wisdom.

Not trying to monday morning quarterback this, but after reading your original post I was a bit skeptical that she was "nervous" and working at a club. Red flag #1. Then I read your second post where you said "She even texted me last night saying she was nervous and wanted me to calm her down." Uh, wtf? 🚨🚨🚨 Red flag #2.

This girl has had trauma, you say, and you being the service oriented nice guy you are, wanted to help her. Well, you can't help or fix her. If it seems like a hallmark / lifetime movie plot, as yours did, it's fucked from the start. I'm not dehumanizing them because I often come to their defense when people say they're only about the money. They have feelings, they're real people. But trauma and emotional stuff, stay far away from that.

Someone I heard put it best: "most women these days would just as soon fuck you as they would shake your hand." You can avoid these women, or you can fuck them. That's what you should have done with this little psycho, and then got the hell out of dodge. This is the kind of girl who will bust your car windows and set your shit on fire. Let me reiterate in a very crass but truthful way: you can not help girls like this. You can either leave them alone or you can fuck the crazy right out of them, but you can not be friends or have a relationship with them.

Argh. That is why I never give out my number, nor get a dancer's numbers. All it means is sob stories and getting hounded for money. I don't want regulars, CFs, or ATFs. I don't want a girl thinking I'm going to visit her and drop $300 every week, then get pissed when I don't. For The Puddy Tat, what goes on in the club, stays in the club.

Thank you everyone for the feedback. I've read every single comment and appreciate all the support, and the reality of what happened from the perspective of the seasoned or "high time" veterans of the strip club world. It is a battle with different weapons, and if not careful, similar effects... When you enter the strip club, you're in their territory. Their mission is to take your money and if they can, dignity and even heard of a couple cases of "I'm gonna destroy every man I can since I was hurt". This was only my second time "in club" but thanks to good intel and the "old timers "( figurative!!) who warned me, I left intact. I'm sad in a way this tiny little beautiful girl is so damaged, and have to accept she's not fixable by me or am I responsible. Monger, 5Foot, Skibum, PuddyTat, iknowbetter, hank jascoy, all you guys...thank you. Taken every word seriously. And yes...being "wired differently" I'm probably AM going to make the same mistake again, but now I have more situational awareness. I'm not a give up kinda of guy, and still want to help someone but will eventually learn I have to accept most are beyond help that I can give..

I get it, the girl is trying to survive but I don’t like trying to trick you into something expensive like that . If she needs some more money how about driving Uber or something like that? Integrity is worth a lot

Good wake up call / reminder to many. Strippers will engage in psychological warfare to get want they want. It could be garnering your sympathy, making you feel guilty / like less of a gentleman/man, or outright lying/overpromisinf.

The good ones do it without their intent being detected....those are the dangerous ones. Men in rough spots emotionally are even more likely to be taken for a ride.

Once they get into a guy's head, he is toast.

So, before entering a club, remind yourself that those girls don't need/want to be "fixed", nor do they wish to have anything other than a transactional relationship with you. Once that becomes engrained in the mind of a PL, this hobby is far more enjoyable.