I took basic French from Grade 5 to Grade 10.
Hated it and never took it seriously so I just know the common phrases when SPEAKING (my listening skills in French SUCK balls) and my reading and writing is ATROCIOUS so.... can I survive in Montreal or should I hit up some lessons for a month or two?
It is a difficult language for an anglophone, but learning it is worthwhile. I dated and came close to marrying a French woman (story for another time), so that played a big role into how I became fluent. It really depends what part of Montreal you are going to. In some areas like West Island, a lot of Irish people settled, and they actually prefer to speak English over French. In areas like Anjou, Rosemont, Hochelaga, Laval, and North Shore everyone speaks French, and some people know no to little English. Generally, you should be fine as an anglophone in downtown and West Island, but venturing out to some other areas, you may have trouble. If you can't converse in French and make French speakers have to switch to English to accommodate you, you are seen as a tête carrée and will definitely lose points with hot women.
You'll have fewer problems in Montreal without fluent French than you'll have in many American clubs that have been invaded by Cuban dancers without fluent Spanish.
When in Canada just say ehh
The only word I can think of is "Tabarnak". Even Farmer Art could define it but from Google:
"Tabarnak" is a religious phrase that originated in Quebec as an eye-dialect spelling of the word "tabernacle". It's a Canadian French swear word that's similar to the English word "fck". It's used to express anger, annoyance, or surprise, and has the approximate weight of "holy sht" or "holy fck" in English. For example, "We haven't gone on holiday for more than a year, tabernacle!" translates to "We haven't gone on holiday for more than a year, holy sht!"
Calice, tabernacle, baptème, Jérusalem ... many accoutrements of the Catholic church are curse words in Québécois.
I have the same issues, why I haven’t really ventured out into the Quebec hinterlands yet. I think bare minimum just to be respectful “Bonjour Madame/Misour, parlez vous anglais?” Just to start out. And worse comes to worse over that maybe whip just whip out google translate.
I’d like to check out the Laval area clubs one of these weekends so I’m brushing up as well.
How does one say DFK in French? Is it just a “kiss”
Just don't say anything and many will assume you are local. You cant fool them, even if you knew certain phrases or words they know by your pronounciation that you are not from Montreal.
Even if you were from Newfoundland or Alberta, they can tell just by how you sound that you are a Newfie or Albertan. Just speak regular English, most people you will come in contact with know English.
If you UNDERSTAND French then that is the key. Speaking it in my opinion is of second importance. If you can read French and undersatnd when they speak you are golden there.
Brush up on your French. Have some fun with it.
I rarely - RARELY have met anyone there that cannot speak English. My only problem has been when I’ve been in a casino and they’re all speaking French even though half of the people at the table are Americans.