What does your ATF really think of you, Daddy?
njscfan
"Make sure everyone knows the rules. They won't be offended. If they are, they're just a sachrin daddy anyway. They know you're there for their money, that's the whole game - what they wanna know is if you can be there for what THEY'RE after. Yeah, it might be sex. It might not. Just make sure to establish the rules once the agreement has been made to be a Sugarbaby. Also - ALWAYS look your best. They don't want a sugarbabe who looks thrown together. You're there to be beautiful, make them feel great (surprisingly, they have millions and all it takes is for a woman to be impressed he can buy her a lovely silk shirt without her being there to make him feel worth it)... always look nice... ALWAYS say thank you... don't act like you want/need things, instead say, "What do you think about this?" and let them offer to get it for you. Don't depend on them forever."
"I don't love my daddy."
"My daddy buys me food, clothes and shoes. No cash, not what I want. Just nice clothes."
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"I had one.
What adive would I give?
#1 most important thing - they all have an expiration date, so don't count on him forever.
How much did I love my sugar daddy? NOT at all. Quite the opposite. I had to dump him I couldn;t stand to look at him.
How much sugar? Lots and lots. A house, a car, clothes, vacations, plenty of cash.
I set the ground rules up front - No sex!!
He said he just wanted arm candy. He changed his tone abou t6 months later and started dropping hints. After a year, he was blatently offering me money for sex. I dropped him. He broke the rules."
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"Have your nails done, learn how to perfect your hair - going out shopping with daddy will require a good two hours prep. Shaving, nice hair, perfect brows... yeah it can be expensive to maintain but if you play your cards right, you might get him to pay for it after awhile (DO NOT expect him to turn an ugly duckling pretty with his money - you gotta be pretty first)... soon he might start offering to pay for your beauty treatments out of his pocket since you're doing so well to look nice for him.
Talk him up, yes! Talk about how he's such great company - don't mention the money! He's so nice, pretty eyes, great conversation.. and MAYBE (judge the moment) to say how wonderfully he takes care of you."
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"Try to find a daddy a bit of a drive away so you don't have to entertain him often but it's worth it when you do."
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"Tip: The sugar daddy is in it for himself. Make sure you're getting what you want out of the situation (and that he's not writing you company checks... he can claim you as an independent contractor that way) and don't let him manipulate you with emotions ("boo hoo, I love you so much. Why must we play this sad money game?").
I had one... They're okay as long as they remember the boundaries and their place"
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"I'll get my romance at home...everyone else I"ll milk dry until they cry. Screw em."
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"I've toyed with the idea of seeking one out, but honestly I don't like mindfucking people and it feels like it would be searching for a needle in a haystack to get a guy who's generous, doesn't want sex, and doesn't mind me having a bf and a life."
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"I got really lucky with my SD he's very generous, kind, all those other goodies, sometimes scares me because he's too good to be true.
I care very much for my SD we talk on a regular basis on the phone (once every other day), we understand each other's boundries, he knows I have my life and he has his.
The type of sugar is more like a freaking cake. The usual clothes, lingerie, cash, jewelry, but the big ones would be my BA operation, SUPPORTING me while I've been out for 3 months due to health problems (*blank* grand a month), and now he's talking about getting a house for me and paying for it.
I ask him why does he do it, "I want the best for you." And not once has he ever made me feel uncomfortable or forced me to do anything I did not want to do.
Sometimes the older men I've noticed are stuck in marriages that just don't have that spark, and simply want companionship or someone to care about them.
Be careful some are douchebags some are not, whatever you decide caution and respect. Respect yourself, and fuck HAVE FUN!~!
No sex is not included...I admit hugs,cuddles, arm candy and occasional kisses are made. (being honest)
Well depends on the situation...some women are strictly buisness and state everything...my approach was more personal. I first started by building the friendship and the trust. You'll get better results if they develop feelings for you more than just physical attraction alone.
Yes you know money is your objective but be subtle about it, don't make it so obvious it's what you're after. Remember just like in dancing you offer fantasy and companionship"
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"Personally, a sugar daddy relationship is the only relationship I can have with a man. I can't have normal bf/gf relationship with young men my age. I find them lacking in life experience, financial means, and can't stand their egos. So in my case, a sugar daddy works out perfectly.
The sugardaddy4me website is mostly full of younger idiots who aren't really serious. Most are looking to take you out and pay for dinner and a movie before hitting the sheets. But the point of a real sugar daddy arrangement is to get as much as you can; money, clothes, jewelry, furniture, vacations, etc..
I got a $2000 diamond ring this Christmas. I love my sugar daddy."
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"i have a sugar daddy, and i play mind games with him in order not to lose his business. (such as "oh (name) i miss you! it's been a while, and i totally was thinking about the last time we were in the VIP, and how you blha blah blah") but the good thing is, he is in florida and i am in philly. so there really is no normal sugar daddy behavior. when he comes into town it's on business and we usually get together for dinner and *conventiently* i have to work right after. so there's no time for any funny biz. and when he comes in i make sure he knows that i cant just sit and chat because im at work and i have to make money there. and if he's not spending it i have to sit with someone else because "i have my mortgage to pay," or "car payment is due monday". the idea that he wont be spending the evening with me will snap him back to stripper customer mode and out of i give you my time on the phone for 5-10 a day for free mode.
also, when i broke my foot and wasn't dancing i "didnt have enough money for bills" and he would send me checks. but this situation is rare. very rare. i have had other sugar daddies and in the end they want sex, so i just tried to make it last until that point."
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Believe me, this is a small, small sample of what's out there. One thread produced nearly 6000 replies in under 4 months (and there are many, many threads on the topic, on just this one site). They are all about how to find suckers and make the maximum amount of money off of them. Notice that many of them set boundaries and prohibit sex (largely because they are disgusted by the idea). As one put it, they are selling companionship and fantasy. Fantasy indeed.
Anyone who thinks they have a "relationship" under these conditions is pathetically self-deluded. You can believe you have the one unique relationship that breaks the mold, but the statistics against that being true are pretty high. Personally, I shudder to think that there are guys spending thousands of dollars for the privilege of hanging out with a young woman who is providing faux friendship and no sex.
By comparison to the sexless ATF/sugardaddy relationship, paying someone to have sex with you seems positively pristine for its honesty and commonsense -- a simple transaction, openly made without manipulation. Personally, I prefer prostitution in its pure state, without the base alloy of hypocrisy, deceit and self-delusion. Because even if you aren't having sex with your ATF, you are still just another john in her eyes.
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I'm definitely nothing special in the looks department or the money department for that matter. Short, fat, and old. :) I don't know if race makes much difference as to whether the dancer is for real; most of the dancers I've gotten to know very well are black. More than one young hottie wanted to help me pay the bills--that is the messed up perspective some of these sweet girls have. They want to support their man and I guess if you believe in equality there isn't anything wrong with that.
Have said all that the odds are much more likely you will get a fraud, but that can also be a hell of a lot of fun:
1. Watch your budget.
2. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that doing more will get you more. The reverse is often the case. You may honestly want to help a girl out of a bad situation and that is wonderful, but even if she pretends to appreciate your help it is far more likely that she resents being dependant on you and will see you more as a customer.
3. Don't expect her to be impressed by what impresses you.
4. Don't expect standard logic.
OK, end rant and have fun. :)
I see age, over 20, as a huge negative if your looking for a "real" relationship unless you knew her before that time. I've seen too many women turned into assholes by slimey men or at least harder. It may take a few years, but just as men learn to be bitter women are even better at it, imo.
clubber, I thought I was on your ignore list. What's the problem?
No, I don't think the relationships are "all different." I think the striking uniformity of the women's comments show that the relationships are usually very much the same thing, over and over. If you pay money to your dentist I think that's fine. But if you think your dentist is your best pal because he chats it up with you while he's working on your teeth, I think that's delusional and a little creepy. This is no different. Anyone who thinks they have a genuine "friendship" or "relationship" or whatever with someone they are paying money to (in the form of cash, gifts, etc.) is just suffering from a massive delusion. To honestly think that a 22 year old hottie is going out to dinner with a 64 year old broken down old man (and that's not a criticism, I'll be there one day) because she needs a father figure is just the height of magical thinking. Read what these women actually have to say and face the truth. Even the "nice" ones are clear they are only doing it for the money. I do understand that folks with serious delusions will tend to cling to them rather aggressively, because they need them to help them make sense of a lonely and difficult world. But if folks living the ATF fantasy could ever break through those delusions, they would find they could have much more emotionally fulfilling relationships with real friends, than whatever plastic "companionship" they are getting from their ATFs. The only thing you don't normally do with a regular platonic friend is have sex, and most of these guys aren't doing that with their sugarbabies anyway. I say save the money and come out of your fantasy world.
On the uniformity of the opinion on the pink site it think that is due to the subset of strippers that participate. The entire site is geared toward that mentality and I know that many of the dances I know dont ever know it exists. If you agree with the mentality of that site you will post, the rest seem to stay away.
I told my ATF I had included her in a story about a guy who buys a sex doll with some amazing humanlike abilities (she walks, talks, and impresses family and friends). The ATF is in early on in the story when he can't consumate the relationship with the doll, so he sees his ATF. She likes his money, likes sex with him, but she's not about to have an exclusive relationship with him.
I don't think my ATF liked seeing herself being depicted honestly.
No, not you.
See, again, you are incorrect, however. I don't pay her for anything. If he go to lunch or whatever, she buys sometimes, I do other times. We both give each other gifts. As for the father thing, I KNOW I am correct, simply by some of our conversations. That said, I won't disagree that many "relationship" are delusional.