Overview of Miami Clubs
Elitis
I spent the past few days, from Thursday to Sunday, in Miami going through several clubs. I did reviews on two of them as the others I went to, I either did not stay long (1 or maybe 2 hours) and/or did not get dances. So, instead of a bare-bares review, I'll do a small overview of what I saw at each.
Across the board: Onlyfans and web-camming have definitely taken a toll on strip clubs in my opinion. I last came to Miami in 2018 and was impressed with the talent at both Tootsies and E11even. This trip, there were still some lookers, but I was not impressed overall. Sad times.
E11even: Did a review on it. Not a strip club. A night club, for partying, that happens to have strippers as well. Pretty faces overall, decent bodies, much less plastic/enhancements than you would expect for Miami of all places. Girls trend thinner, although you can certainly find some with a bit of meat on them. None of them were outright fat.
You will likely not get your money's worth as far as mileage is concerned here. Couple robs as far as OTC activities are concerned. Drinks reasonably priced. I like it as a party spot. Couple waitresses blew the strippers out of the water as far as looks/bodies go.
Cheetah Hallandale: Did a review on it. Interesting place. Extras in an open room with zero privacy. No one cared. Decently priced drinks. Protection can be acquired in the bathroom (at least the women's bathroom, unsure about the men's). Again, less plastic than you would think. Unimpressed with the talent, but they weren't outright ugly. Barely any stage tipping. Couple waitresses blew the strippers out of the water as far as looks/bodies go.
Cheetah Pompano: Generally impressed with the talent here. Pretty young faces all around. Decently priced drinks. Did not stay long or get dances however, as although the faces were young and pretty, the girls were pretty thin as well. I'm a hard guy to please, I know.
Booby Trap: Unimpressed. The two or three dancers I wanted a dance with were occupied at someone's table the short time I was there unfortunately. Long eye contact and smiles from one of them when she went on stage while I was at the bar who I thought would have come over when she was finished. But no, back to him, his friends, and their free drinks. I probably could have gotten her attention had I stayed longer, but this was my last night in town, and I had already planned to go to a few more clubs as well as still get at least 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Decently-priced drinks.
Once again, a couple waitresses/bartenders that *really* should have been dancers. Noticing a trend here.
Tootsies: Like I mentioned before, I was not too impressed with the talent here. I do not remember the cubicle-style dance room being here back in 2018 but I also only did VIP that time. Decently-priced drinks. Plenty of dancers and something for everyone, but I did not notice many lookers. Of course, they definitely could have been upstairs or otherwise preoccupied. I did get some dancers from a few girls here and they were decent.
My nearly-full drink did get spilled in the dance area which kind of annoyed me. Those should be redesigned so you have either another spot to set a drink down or so the next guy over cannot push against the wall where your drink is placed. The only one I would have gone to VIP with did not bring it up during our dances so I just assumed she wasn't an extras girl.
Booby Trap on the River: Was not really on my radar until an Uber driver mentioned it was literally behind my hotel. Stopped by quickly and it is definitely a party spot. $100 cover at 4am to get in. Packed. Kind of ghetto which I wasn't expecting. No stunners as far as I could see. Plenty of plastic. Plenty of "making it rain".
Across the board: Onlyfans and web-camming have definitely taken a toll on strip clubs in my opinion. I last came to Miami in 2018 and was impressed with the talent at both Tootsies and E11even. This trip, there were still some lookers, but I was not impressed overall. Sad times.
E11even: Did a review on it. Not a strip club. A night club, for partying, that happens to have strippers as well. Pretty faces overall, decent bodies, much less plastic/enhancements than you would expect for Miami of all places. Girls trend thinner, although you can certainly find some with a bit of meat on them. None of them were outright fat.
You will likely not get your money's worth as far as mileage is concerned here. Couple robs as far as OTC activities are concerned. Drinks reasonably priced. I like it as a party spot. Couple waitresses blew the strippers out of the water as far as looks/bodies go.
Cheetah Hallandale: Did a review on it. Interesting place. Extras in an open room with zero privacy. No one cared. Decently priced drinks. Protection can be acquired in the bathroom (at least the women's bathroom, unsure about the men's). Again, less plastic than you would think. Unimpressed with the talent, but they weren't outright ugly. Barely any stage tipping. Couple waitresses blew the strippers out of the water as far as looks/bodies go.
Cheetah Pompano: Generally impressed with the talent here. Pretty young faces all around. Decently priced drinks. Did not stay long or get dances however, as although the faces were young and pretty, the girls were pretty thin as well. I'm a hard guy to please, I know.
Booby Trap: Unimpressed. The two or three dancers I wanted a dance with were occupied at someone's table the short time I was there unfortunately. Long eye contact and smiles from one of them when she went on stage while I was at the bar who I thought would have come over when she was finished. But no, back to him, his friends, and their free drinks. I probably could have gotten her attention had I stayed longer, but this was my last night in town, and I had already planned to go to a few more clubs as well as still get at least 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Decently-priced drinks.
Once again, a couple waitresses/bartenders that *really* should have been dancers. Noticing a trend here.
Tootsies: Like I mentioned before, I was not too impressed with the talent here. I do not remember the cubicle-style dance room being here back in 2018 but I also only did VIP that time. Decently-priced drinks. Plenty of dancers and something for everyone, but I did not notice many lookers. Of course, they definitely could have been upstairs or otherwise preoccupied. I did get some dancers from a few girls here and they were decent.
My nearly-full drink did get spilled in the dance area which kind of annoyed me. Those should be redesigned so you have either another spot to set a drink down or so the next guy over cannot push against the wall where your drink is placed. The only one I would have gone to VIP with did not bring it up during our dances so I just assumed she wasn't an extras girl.
Booby Trap on the River: Was not really on my radar until an Uber driver mentioned it was literally behind my hotel. Stopped by quickly and it is definitely a party spot. $100 cover at 4am to get in. Packed. Kind of ghetto which I wasn't expecting. No stunners as far as I could see. Plenty of plastic. Plenty of "making it rain".
15 comments
Still they’re one of the more successful clubs so they are definitely doing something right.
Characterizing the attractiveness of women at a club is challenging, not only because it is totally subjective, but also because it is so dependent on your personal experience and who you interact with.
Like, at BT, you were unimpressed as all the talent was on lockdown by other PLs. On another night, maybe it's slower, and those same dancers aren't locked down, instead they swarm you as you enter the club, making you think "the talent here is amazing."
My recent experience at both BT and Toots was more like the later, and I reviewed both clubs as having hot women.
One thing I will definitely agree with is that Cheetah Pompano definitely has a "type", and it's pretty, young, and fit women across the board. Spinners are my jam, so I was happy with this. I think if you went to CP looking for lots of voluptuous or curvy women, you'd be disappointed though.
Anyway, here's an important question: you can go back to one, and only one, of these clubs, which one would you choose? And what you if you could pick two?
@RonJax2 re: "Characterizing the attractiveness of women". Which is why I always mention I rank based on face only. Its easy, imo, to call every woman with a big butt/tits and a nice smile a 10. And while attractiveness definitely has a bit of subjectivity to it, the majority of men will be within a standard deviation of each other when ranking women. Scarlett Johansson may not be every man's 10, but most of us will agree she is attractive even if she isn't our exact type.
As far as BT goes, it's not that I was unimpressed *because* the talent was on lockdown. It's that out of all the women I saw there (and several could have been doing dances or upstairs to be fair), there were *only* a handful I found attractive and some of those were staff I couldn't get dances with.
I would have gotten annoyed (as I did on my second trip to Cheetah Hollandale) had I gotten swarmed no matter how attractive the dancers were. I like to get approached as much as the next guy, but not swarmed and not immediately when I arrive.
Finally, to answer your question, I don't think I've spent nearly enough time in any of these clubs to pick a favorite. But if I honestly had to, I would probably pick E11even. I'm still young and do well for myself, so the party vibe and cost (other than tables) isn't a turn off for me. I'm also not super into extras, so a decent grind and two-way contact with a pretty face and decent body on occasion isn't the end of the world.
A second? Toss up between Tootsies for sheer size, numbers, and the fact that I've been a couple times now and Booby Trap. Why BT? Honestly, I have no clue. It just seems better for my tastes than the other clubs.
I was surprised you thought Booby Trap Pompano was small, but to me it's really huge compared to what it was for many years before the remodel. Similar to what doctorevil said, I thought it had a certain seedy-but-could-be-fun vibe when it was a small dive bar. It was certainly hit-or-miss, but with the right girl, OMG. One slow night I got 50% off on a 30-minute VIP room, and a tiny blonde Latina firecracker (just under 5 feet tall) rocked my world, delivering a "Top 5" sexual experience for me (out of too many to count).
There's definitely an ebb and flow over time regarding the relative strenths and value of any given club. In the Pomano triangle, Diamond Dolls used to get the best reviews on TUSCL, but most reviews of it these days complain of all the fake boobs and assembly-line nature of the transactions there. FWIW, it sounds like Elitis did not include DD in his recent rounds, which may prove my point.
Just by chance, I think I was the first on TUSCL to post a review after BT finished the remodel, and it was probably the most glowing review I ever wrote. That was followed by a good number of similarly-postive reviews. However, over time, the reviews got "less good" as, I think, the club may have gotten a little smug about its perceived place at the top of the pecking order of Pompano clubs and people here voiced their annoyances. That shit does happen. Lately, I have seen some postive reviews again, but some of the other Pompano clubs (and others not far from there) have sort of risen in the eyes of our TUSCL brethren.
Again, a great overview, Elitis. Thanks for posting it, and thanks to others for chiming in.
thanks for the detailed overview of the miami scene. you did all of us a huge service. after reading this i'm not sure if i would want to make any plans to monger over in miami. 1) if not one of the dancers looks a slight shade or two below in looks in comparision to the waitresses that's a hard pass. 2) the impression i'm getting from reading all this is that the vibes didn't seem to feel right. walk/standing around and feeling like something feels amiss in the air.
dude over at the booby trap maybe should have approached the girl on stage, give her 2 bucks, and then ask her if she would be interested in giving a lappers after she gets off the stage. if all worked out she could have been the highlight of your trip.
"There's definitely an ebb and flow over time regarding the relative strenths [sic] and value of any given club"
^ This is also a HUGE point. Especially within Pompano, it tends to happen over several months, but things change in those clubs. There was a time when DD hands down had the hottest chicks regardless of your particular tastes, Cheetah was a distant second and BT was bottom of the barrel with the occasional hottie who hadn't realized she was in the wrong club yet.
Also, at BT they're again doing some remodeling. The downstairs rooms are closed off, I think being replaced with a larger room, perhaps including a Jacuzzi. Upstairs they have some additional temporary rooms and a temporary lap dance area setup. I'm sure that'll come with new pricing options once its ready.
I did not visit Diamond Dolls. I don't know what it was but there was something in my brain saying, "I'm not going there." Quite possibly a review or two I had read a while ago and just mentally wrote it off.
@rattdog yeah, I definitely should have approached. Usually, in my experience, with the amount of eye contact we held during her set, the dancer would have come to me afterwards though. I was also feeling lazy given this was the second club of the night I had went to and was still going to more after this one.
I also wouldn't write off Miami entirely. I rate pretty harsh (face only), so most guys can safely add one or two points to any rating I give. As for the waitresses/staff, don't get the wrong idea. It wasn't that I found their faces alone much more attractive than the dancers. They were certainly some, of course.
It was generally that I found them to have above-average attractive faces (meaning at least a 6 to me) *and* decent or even nice bodies (large T&A, small waists, thick thighs, nice legs, etc etc). It was the combination I found highly appealing. Plenty of dancers had one or the other.
Miami is also great for finding extras, so if that's your thing, its another reason not to write it off.
@Dolfan interesting. Did not notice any work being done while I was there. I'll have to make another trip once that's complete to reassess it.
Cheetah Pompano, my go to club, did not disappoint. Met my regular there, a spinner from Philippines who speaks English as a first language. We did the VIP for extended time and both left satified. Returned the next afternoon to check out the day shift and while not as great as the evening shift, it had lots of pretty ladies that would hold your attention among other things.
Finally hit BT Pompano my first time to see what the excitement was about. All I can say is Wow, why the bright lights? Even for my old eyes it was too damn bright. Let’s face it, not every girl in a club is a 9-10 but with the right low lighting and makeup, a 7 can look pretty good. The best I saw here was a 7. The rest were well below that.
I plan on adding specific reviews here shortly. What I really need are more believable reasons for traveling to SFL for work. I can only use the “network upgrade” reason every once in a while. How do I get back there in a few weeks lol?
BTs is alright but too loud and too bright. Not into the loud party scene.