Involuntary celibacy isn't just about repellant young men who've never had sex
Dave_Anderson
One misconception about what "involuntary celibacy" means is the news media stereotype and misrepresentation of it as what it refers to as "incels" which have been characterized as a small fringe of young gross, ugly, social rejects who are rightly and justly shunned by females and who then turn into violent murderers as a result. This is so completely ass backwards from reality its nearly a complete inversion of what the concept actually means.
In fact, in the broadest definition all men are involuntarily celibate at least sometimes. The term in its broadest sense means being denied access to sex when one wants or needs it. Married men, in fact, form the largest category of involuntary celibates.
According to studies, over 40% of married men have sex with their wife "once a month or less." Many no longer get sex at all with their wife.
For single men, not those "who have never had sex," but those without a steady partner or relationship the situation is even worse. Even men among the highly select group of 10 to 15% of men that most women find particularly attractive and do have casual free sex with, they often, maybe half the time, go home empty handed from a night at a bar or regular (non-adult entertainment) club. This is the small elite of men in terms of attractiveness; for the average man its obviously far far worse.
This is all "involuntary celibacy."
For purposes of this discussion, I'm leaving out prostitution, lap dances, and other commercial sexual activities. While this is technically a way to avoid unwanted celibacy, not all men want to pay for commercial sex. Many married men don't want to "cheat" on their wife, etc.
In fact, in the broadest definition all men are involuntarily celibate at least sometimes. The term in its broadest sense means being denied access to sex when one wants or needs it. Married men, in fact, form the largest category of involuntary celibates.
According to studies, over 40% of married men have sex with their wife "once a month or less." Many no longer get sex at all with their wife.
For single men, not those "who have never had sex," but those without a steady partner or relationship the situation is even worse. Even men among the highly select group of 10 to 15% of men that most women find particularly attractive and do have casual free sex with, they often, maybe half the time, go home empty handed from a night at a bar or regular (non-adult entertainment) club. This is the small elite of men in terms of attractiveness; for the average man its obviously far far worse.
This is all "involuntary celibacy."
For purposes of this discussion, I'm leaving out prostitution, lap dances, and other commercial sexual activities. While this is technically a way to avoid unwanted celibacy, not all men want to pay for commercial sex. Many married men don't want to "cheat" on their wife, etc.
27 comments
I want to have every woman I know
I want to have them take off their clothes
I'll make it with them unless they say no
'Cause I'm a heterosexual man
I'll make it with them whenever I can
However, I have some rickvice that will help the incels. Are you ready for the rickvice Anderson Ape? Here it is: start havin’ the sex. The trick is to go find somebody to have sex with.
I know…easier said than done. Let’s factor out the fact that I’m a rick and a frickin’ lion and therefore get as many sexy female hairless apes as I want. The trick I would use if I were you is to stop with the desire for unrealistic sex partners. You’re not gonna have a 3-way with Jennifer Lawrence and Sydney Sweeney. Trust me…I’ve tried. And even as a rick I’ve failed.
Be realistic. I’m sure you’ll find a perfectly attractive sexual partner. And if she isn’t attractive enough for you…well, that is what Jack Daniel’s is for. And if Jack ain’t helpful enough just consult with his friends Jim Beam and Johnnie Walker. ROAR!!!
Like I said…I can solve the incel problem. Start havin’ sex. I can also solve the not havin’ enough sex problem. Start havin’ more sex. Problem solved. You’re welcome. ROAR!
Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment and hatred, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against women and sexually active people.
The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) described the subculture as "part of the online male supremacist ecosystem" that is included in their list of hate groups.
Incels are mostly male and heterosexual, and are often white.”
~ Wikipedia/Google
One can argue that if you find most people don't meet your "standard" for a relationship (incl. just sex), and/or you're just not interested enough, then choosing not to pursue a relationship is voluntary celibacy. It's only involuntary when you want something but can't get it.
This has changed in recent years. Rather than finding a male who will help provide financial support for any children, women now rely more on government income transfers. Government subsidized schools and day care, medical assistance and other programs have expanded. More government jobs have been created and, because of affirmative action, a disproportionate number of them have gone to women. Not needing the male breadwinner husband as much allows women more freedom to become part of a harem sexually servicing the most physically attractive males. This has increased the number of young male incels. Many of us old Boomers tend to lecture at them, not realizing how much the sexual landscape has changed over the last forty years. I got married in 1983 but I think an average guy like me would have a tougher time on the dating market today forty years later than I did back then.
The incels "celibacy" comes from a lack of attractive women wanting to fuck rather than a total lack of access to women to fuck. If they lowered their standards or accepted their worth within the dating market has lowered as a result of women having more agency, then they'd be happier and be able to move on from their shitty perspective on life that others overcome during their teenage years.
Now it is objectively harder for the average man in the dating pool now as compared to their counterpart in the 90s, but a failure to adjust to the market is a responsibility of the individual. Strip clubs, escorts, sugar babies and adulterous women exist, and are happy to throw a fuck for the right price.
Of all the hallmark masculine experiences, getting rejected is a tiny and inconsequential thing; unless you're so delusional and thin skinned that the rejection from a woman will send one into a depressive spiral.
Today's situation is no different - other than we have the internet which gives these "men" a means to form groups and perform the mental gymnastics and make the anecdotal observations that it takes to create the "incel movement"...Peel back the onion on this and it's simply the same as it ever was...guys that can't get laid. Boo hoo. It sucks to be you.