Should we be tipping for a decent standard lap dance, no extras, beyond the "posted" rate? In other words if a lap dance is $20, i usually tip an extra $5 or $10 if its a good dance. Like if I get two $20 dances I'll give the girl $50. Some mongers have said this spoils it for those who don't tip. If the girl is obviously just going thru the motions and is not personable, I generally wont tip, but if she puts for the effort and maybe spends time with me at the bar beforehand, I'll throw in a tip.
Some don't even expect a tip and do a great dance. Some expect a tip even when their dance is awful. The latter don't get a tip or an intentionally small tip and no more chances. The former get a good tip. Also, regulars usually dance better and get tips. That's just me, do whatever makes you happy.
@nj_pete: "Some mongers have said this spoils it for those who don't tip."
Tough shit.
If you think your service was worth a tip, then tip what you think it was worth. What anyone besides yourself and the dancer thinks of your tip is irrelevant.
1. $20 dances are going the way of the dinosaur. Enjoy them while you can.
2. Tipping 50% on a single non extras dance is a bit excessive imo, but $30 per dance isn't bad in the overall scheme, so you're probably fine.
3. You're not ruining anything for anyone, one buyer does not a market make. Especially not in the bizarro world of sc's.
4. The kind of PL that whines about other PLs ruining things for everyone else with tips is probably broke and in the wrong hobby to begin with. Ignore them or risk wasting your time.
Why not? The other guys got it right. You're looking to max out your experience. Do what you think works for you.
Dancers work out what they'll do and what they'll charge on a case by case basis. What they guy before you got and the guy after you is gonna get might be totally different. The funniest situations I've had is where dances are out in the open (including open VIPs) and I've had guys ask me point blank how to get the dance they saw her do with me. In some cases they've asked me while it's happening lol. I just shrugged.
And for the dudes who don't remember nj_pete has been on TUSCL a long time now. Like decades. He's probably just putting something out there for conversation.
If you like the dancer, "ruining it for everybody else" is kind of the point. She'll dump you and come sit with (or on) me. A zero tip from me means "I definitely don't want to see you again.". 20 to 40% means "think of me as a customer," and more than that means I'm interested in moving past the customer zone.
I have pair of boobs in my face (or better yet hands) and she's grinding on my lap. The last thing on my mind is whether or not she's ruined for someone else.
I tip regulars but not someone I'm doing lap dances with for the first time. If someone I'm doing lap dances with for the first time asks for a tip I'll give it to her but it makes it slightly less likely she'll be a future regular. All my regulars acted like they were really trying to win me over the first time I met them and that included not trying to squeeze a couple extra bucks out of me by asking for a tip. If they were going to try so hard to provide good service the first time it was a good sign that they would do the same thing on repeat visits.
Tipping extra “can ruin it” if it’s newbies tipping b/c the think “they’re supposed to” even if the dance was bad/subpar – every now and then I read reviews of the guy stating the dance wasn’t that good but he still tipped-extra – if there are clubs where this happens a lot, then a tip can be seen as something expected/”mandatory” vs something earned – of course, an experienced SCer can handle such situations; but it can still alter the vibe of the club (if there are lots of PLs tipping for tipping-sakes).
I’m not a big tipper “per se” – I prefer to spend vs tip (i.e. buy more dances vs buying less and tipping extra) – but I almost-always tip extra for dances if:
1) dances are cheap ($5 or $10)
2) I get above avg mileage “for the club” – e.g. if it’s a 2-way-contact club *and* I get some titty-sucking; good-amount of stick-shifting; etc; I def tip-extra – if a dancer doesn’t go above and beyond I don’t necessarily hold-it against her as long as she still delivers avg/typical mileage for that particular club, but I usually don’t tip extra for avg/typical club-mileage/2-way-contact
An example of where excessive-tipping can fuck-up a club are the tip-parade-clubs – in some of the Cuban or Russian heavy clubs; it becomes almost a “mandate” that one tips every damn dancer that comes buy your seat (no-matter where you’re sitting in the club – sometimes they’ll even interrupt your floor-dance to get their tip) – IME in most of these clubs it seems most custies don’t like the constant tip-parade; but still almost everyone tips *every single time* a girl comes by no-matter how many times she comes by.
Sure – one can say no and not tip; and that is what I usual do (I only tip the girls that interest me and that I may wanna get LDs from) – but IME, in these heavy-tip-parade clubs if you don’t tip every girl; many of the girls will see you as “cheap”; give you the stink-eye; talk bad about you to the other girls; even confront you for not tipping-on-demand – it makes it to where I will only visit such clubs once-in-while vs perhaps having them in my rotation.
This is one example of where excessive-tipping can have a negative-effect on a club and one’s ability to enjoy it.
In essence – IMO as long as it’s an experienced custy that knows what he’s doing then it’s fine – IMO it can be an issue when u have a whole bunch of newbies/tourists/etc changing the vibe and expectations of the club w.r.t. tipping.
e.g. in certain clubs where a whole-bunch of rain-makers show up and that is what they do all night – i.e. in certain-clubs the girls may not “work as hard” if they are making good-money via stage-tips/rain-making etc.
if it’s a place you go to with a frequency sufficient to be recognized, doesn’t it pay off to be known as someone who will/may give good tips? There’s an old saying, you have to spend money to make money. But bad service should be tipped poorly. If that’s not a common old saying it should be.
I rarely tip on single lap dances, because unless it’s horrible I get more than one. Then it’s $5-10 per dance, depending on quality & future prospects. On VIPs I’ve negotiated the tip (& services) in advance (but never pay in advance). I withhold or reduce tip if ROB’ed (less than agreed service). Others’ tip cost-benefit decisions aren’t my concern, I do what works for me.
If I enjoy the dance I tip for it. The amount may vary depending on how much I enjoy it. Sometimes it's $5 on a $25-30 dance, sometimes it's $40-50 on a $100 worth of dances, the better the service the better the tip. If the dance socks I'm not tipping regardless of if she asks or not.
Personally I hope none of the other customers in the club are tipping because it will make me look better to the girls I'm interested in. If the other customers don't like me tipping then fuck them. I'll keep the girls I like happy with my tips and they can beg the others for a dance.
If a dancer gives me a $20 dance that I like, I'll almost always get at least 4 more. I dislike the concept of tipping in general. With waiting tables, driving cabs, etc. either you do your job adequately or you don't, so tipping makes no sense. The concept of tipping in those cases is just an excuse for an employer to pay a shitty pay rate. Every dancer is unique. For many reasons, it's best if dancers are self-employed. That implies more discretion in many areas, especially in what they charge. But, like any sensible commercial exchange, charges should be clearly agreed upon before hand.
I always pay at least $20 a dance, even at clubs with cheaper dances. Seems like a reasonable "minimum wage", given the variability of stripper income, and the life-long stigma that goes with the job. Most dancers seems fine with that if the club is not taking a cut of each dance (I avoid those clubs). When a dancer is comfortable with kissing, at least on her boobs, I feel she deserves $25 per dance or more. I've tipped/gifted a grand to a few long-term favs who did OTC.
I've known Mexican guys who think anything more than 200 pesos (about 12 dollars) is too much for FS. Whatever you pay, somebody's going to think it's too much.
dancers often brag/pressure about getting 20-50% "minimum", but there are no consequences. I get high praise for considering to tip at all. I know it be dead af.
Agreed, U Want To Make Sure That The Dancer Gets Tipped Extra If She Is Really Good! The Better Treatment/Mileage, The More $Money. I Like Sitting & Talkin' With The Dancers, & Pvt Dances Along With The Stage Dancing. B Sure To Tip Them Really Good When Sitting With Them Coz Some Dancers Only Want VIP/Pvt Dance. Talkin' With The Dancers In A Good Social Way Gets Rid Off The Aggressive Push Of Just Walkin' Around & Asking For Services ✔️ 💲 👄 ♥️ 🔥 👽
The Silly Idea of Tipping in the US vs most of the world for professional services.
I have been seeing dancers at strip clubs, escorts, and massage parlors for about 40 years and have NEVER tipped, and it was never an issue.
I think the weird American idea of tipping is ridiculous other than minimum level wages such as restaurants with tip credit wages, but not professional sex workers like dancers, etc.
In Germany, just round to the nearest dollar, in Asia, tipping is often considered an insult, like in American history.
Tipping spread after the Civil War as an exploitative measure to keep down wages of newly freed slaves in service occupations. Pullman was the most notable for its tipping policies. The railroad company hired thousands of Black porters but paid them low wages and forced them to rely on tips to make a living.
Tipping has been viewed as an imbalance between customers and workers, and several states passed laws in the early 1900s to ban the practice. In “The Itching Palm,” a 1916 diatribe on tipping in America, writer William Scott said that tipping was “un-American” and argued that “the relation of a man giving a tip and a man accepting it is as undemocratic as the relation of master and slave.”
That is how it started in the US, but if sex workers want to be considered professionals as I view them, we certainly do not need to tip them. Some make more money on an hourly basis than most customers.
Tipping how silly- I will now duck into my foxhole for incoming potential fire.
It's an interesting post and I'm not going to do any research on it, but a simple reply is to say there are many customs people accept that have questionable origins. I don't usually tip dancers but don't make a big deal out of it if they ask. I'm not a person who tips big in general (I do tip food service workers) and for dancers I base it on what my goals are.
There was a situation where I went into a VIP prepared to tip $100 on top of what we'd already agreed to do, but found out in the middle that she was on her period so the entertainment wasn't quite was I was expecting (minimally a full nude show). She got less than that (without any discussion on it) but still got a tip because I want to keep things on good terms. When I first walked in she said she was about to do a room then didn't because of something the guy said (knowing the girl it probably wasn't no thanks) so I'm ok putting in a little extra to get what I'm looking for. I'm getting down to my last couple years doing all this hobby stuff anyway.
@davephx, thank you for your input. I would be lying if I said I had not felt that "master/slave" dynamic when both giving and receiving tips. There is something wrong with the dynamic it creates.
Some will argue that it incentivizes good work. However, how about paying a decent wage and the workers simply doing a good job? Incentives work for commission jobs, but the commission is compulsory when the goal is met. Incentives do not work as well when exceptional work is done, but the customer is not obligated to pay the incentive. They also do not work well when the service provider expects a tip as if it's an obligation, and provides poor service yet expects the tip.
I just wish we could do away with tip culture altogether. It has gone to an extreme where we are asked to tip when zero service is rendered other than what we're paying for already. It blurs the line between which work is done for which money. You could still tip, but it would not feel like an obligation.
"I went into a VIP prepared to tip $100 on top of what we'd already agreed to do, but found out in the middle that she was on her period"
That sucks. Was she on it, and just didn't tell you? That's not cool, nor is it really sanitary. I'd call it downright "nasty", except not in the usual good nasty way. I have once or twice helped bust the dam open and started the period, which is not fun at all. But if she knew she was on it already, that's a bit fucked up to me.
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Tough shit.
If you think your service was worth a tip, then tip what you think it was worth. What anyone besides yourself and the dancer thinks of your tip is irrelevant.
2. Tipping 50% on a single non extras dance is a bit excessive imo, but $30 per dance isn't bad in the overall scheme, so you're probably fine.
3. You're not ruining anything for anyone, one buyer does not a market make. Especially not in the bizarro world of sc's.
4. The kind of PL that whines about other PLs ruining things for everyone else with tips is probably broke and in the wrong hobby to begin with. Ignore them or risk wasting your time.
Dancers work out what they'll do and what they'll charge on a case by case basis. What they guy before you got and the guy after you is gonna get might be totally different. The funniest situations I've had is where dances are out in the open (including open VIPs) and I've had guys ask me point blank how to get the dance they saw her do with me. In some cases they've asked me while it's happening lol. I just shrugged.
I’m not a big tipper “per se” – I prefer to spend vs tip (i.e. buy more dances vs buying less and tipping extra) – but I almost-always tip extra for dances if:
1) dances are cheap ($5 or $10)
2) I get above avg mileage “for the club” – e.g. if it’s a 2-way-contact club *and* I get some titty-sucking; good-amount of stick-shifting; etc; I def tip-extra – if a dancer doesn’t go above and beyond I don’t necessarily hold-it against her as long as she still delivers avg/typical mileage for that particular club, but I usually don’t tip extra for avg/typical club-mileage/2-way-contact
Sure – one can say no and not tip; and that is what I usual do (I only tip the girls that interest me and that I may wanna get LDs from) – but IME, in these heavy-tip-parade clubs if you don’t tip every girl; many of the girls will see you as “cheap”; give you the stink-eye; talk bad about you to the other girls; even confront you for not tipping-on-demand – it makes it to where I will only visit such clubs once-in-while vs perhaps having them in my rotation.
This is one example of where excessive-tipping can have a negative-effect on a club and one’s ability to enjoy it.
e.g. in certain clubs where a whole-bunch of rain-makers show up and that is what they do all night – i.e. in certain-clubs the girls may not “work as hard” if they are making good-money via stage-tips/rain-making etc.
But bad service should be tipped poorly. If that’s not a common old saying it should be.
I don't care what other guys do, even if they're outspending me. It typically all levels out.
But if I had my preference I'd love to be surrounded by cheapskates. Makes my time in the club more fun.
Personally I hope none of the other customers in the club are tipping because it will make me look better to the girls I'm interested in. If the other customers don't like me tipping then fuck them. I'll keep the girls I like happy with my tips and they can beg the others for a dance.
I always pay at least $20 a dance, even at clubs with cheaper dances. Seems like a reasonable "minimum wage", given the variability of stripper income, and the life-long stigma that goes with the job. Most dancers seems fine with that if the club is not taking a cut of each dance (I avoid those clubs). When a dancer is comfortable with kissing, at least on her boobs, I feel she deserves $25 per dance or more. I've tipped/gifted a grand to a few long-term favs who did OTC.
I've known Mexican guys who think anything more than 200 pesos (about 12 dollars) is too much for FS. Whatever you pay, somebody's going to think it's too much.
dancers often brag/pressure about getting 20-50% "minimum", but there are no consequences. I get high praise for considering to tip at all. I know it be dead af.
The Better Treatment/Mileage, The More $Money. I Like Sitting & Talkin' With The Dancers, & Pvt Dances Along With The Stage Dancing. B Sure To Tip Them Really Good When Sitting With Them Coz Some Dancers Only Want VIP/Pvt Dance. Talkin' With The Dancers In A Good Social Way Gets Rid Off The Aggressive Push Of Just Walkin' Around & Asking For Services ✔️ 💲 👄 ♥️ 🔥 👽
I have been seeing dancers at strip clubs, escorts, and massage parlors for about 40 years and have NEVER tipped, and it was never an issue.
I think the weird American idea of tipping is ridiculous other than minimum level wages such as restaurants with tip credit wages, but not professional sex workers like dancers, etc.
In Germany, just round to the nearest dollar, in Asia, tipping is often considered an insult, like in American history.
Tipping spread after the Civil War as an exploitative measure to keep down wages of newly freed slaves in service occupations. Pullman was the most notable for its tipping policies. The railroad company hired thousands of Black porters but paid them low wages and forced them to rely on tips to make a living.
Tipping has been viewed as an imbalance between customers and workers, and several states passed laws in the early 1900s to ban the practice. In “The Itching Palm,” a 1916 diatribe on tipping in America, writer William Scott said that tipping was “un-American” and argued that “the relation of a man giving a tip and a man accepting it is as undemocratic as the relation of master and slave.”
That is how it started in the US, but if sex workers want to be considered professionals as I view them, we certainly do not need to tip them. Some make more money on an hourly basis than most customers.
Tipping how silly- I will now duck into my foxhole for incoming potential fire.
There was a situation where I went into a VIP prepared to tip $100 on top of what we'd already agreed to do, but found out in the middle that she was on her period so the entertainment wasn't quite was I was expecting (minimally a full nude show). She got less than that (without any discussion on it) but still got a tip because I want to keep things on good terms. When I first walked in she said she was about to do a room then didn't because of something the guy said (knowing the girl it probably wasn't no thanks) so I'm ok putting in a little extra to get what I'm looking for. I'm getting down to my last couple years doing all this hobby stuff anyway.
Some will argue that it incentivizes good work. However, how about paying a decent wage and the workers simply doing a good job? Incentives work for commission jobs, but the commission is compulsory when the goal is met. Incentives do not work as well when exceptional work is done, but the customer is not obligated to pay the incentive. They also do not work well when the service provider expects a tip as if it's an obligation, and provides poor service yet expects the tip.
I just wish we could do away with tip culture altogether. It has gone to an extreme where we are asked to tip when zero service is rendered other than what we're paying for already. It blurs the line between which work is done for which money. You could still tip, but it would not feel like an obligation.
That sucks. Was she on it, and just didn't tell you? That's not cool, nor is it really sanitary. I'd call it downright "nasty", except not in the usual good nasty way. I have once or twice helped bust the dam open and started the period, which is not fun at all. But if she knew she was on it already, that's a bit fucked up to me.