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Secret Conspiracies

avatar for DougS
DougS
Florida
Something GodFatherStill said in another topic thread brought about an epiphany...

Y'know... upon contemplating my wife's sense of smell... I seriously thought MY wife had one of the greatest sense of smells, of all time. She's always saying "[sniff, sniff] do you smell that?!" I, of course never do. Now, combine that image with the fact that I KNOW I've come home with at the very least a slight smell of perfume - maybe even the delicate aroma of sex... quite a few times, and she has never said anything about that...

I'm forming a theory here. Maybe it's an outright conspiracy! It's almost like our wives WANT us to think they have that great sense of smell, just to make us paranoid and be on our best behavior and not go out and fuck other women. They WANT us to THINK that they will smell each and every scent... But, suppose they can't... suppose it's just a gimmick that they are all taught, to "keep their man in line".

Sayyyy... now, it's making sense..I'm thinking maybe THAT is just one of the things that the girls were taught when they were pulled out of our health class in 6th grade.

What ELSE might they have learned? Obviously they all didn't learn the proper techniques for oral sex, nor did they learn some of the advanced arts of seduction that the dancers in the club have down to a science. Was there an advanced class that most women somehow missed?

12 comments

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avatar for godfatherstill
godfatherstill
•
17 years ago
DougS, you crack me up. You may actually be on to something here. I always just assumed my sense of smell had been dulled by what I ingested up my nose back in my younger daze. Your comment....she's always saying "[sniff, sniff] do you smell that?!" I, of course never do.....is so me and my wife, maybe our wifes are twins they never new each other had.

What state are you in? I am in Oklahoma where most strip clubs are pretty lame. Fortunately, I have friends in Dallas and Houston and I get to Vegas every now and then.
avatar for DougS
DougS
•
17 years ago
GodFatherStill: What state am I in? If it's a dancer asking, my answer is always, "horny!"... Actually, I'm in Indiana. There are three good clubs in Indiana, that I know of, plus a few hit and miss.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
•
17 years ago
I think it is a conspiracy, but not the one you're talking about. I think they're all clairvoyant - they know a whole lot more than they let on, they just don't see any point in mentioning it. They like their lives just fine the way they are and don't want to endanger the nest, so they pretend to not know what's going on. And they let us continue to think we're the smart ones.
avatar for chandler
chandler
•
17 years ago
Conspiracies are bad enough, but those *secret* conspiracies are the worst.
avatar for mr.munchie
mr.munchie
•
17 years ago
They do have a better sense of smell. I remember when I was young and we had gas heat. My mother would say she smelled gas, but none of us (me, my father and brother) could smell it, but when the guy from the gas co. showed up he always found a leek.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
•
17 years ago
Unfortunately or fortunately depending upon how you look at it, my sense of smell seems to be about as good as many females probably because of my allergies making me hypersensitive. The smell of smoke stays on my clothes until I wash them after visiting any club with smoke. Every once in a while, I can smell what I had for breakfast coming from my body hours later. I can smell a lot of other people if I'm too close. That's usually not what I want to do. Now if they stink, I can smell them from several yards away. I think the maximum so far was about 100 feet but that was due to someone having a paper chemical on their clothes when they stepped into the house.

If you don't want your SO to be able to smell everything, use something with a really strong odor and it will drown out everything else even though they'll probably be complaining about the smell.

On the good side if you like the way some dancers smell, I have been able to smell the scent of about 5 or 6 different dancers on my clothes several hours later.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
•
17 years ago
Actually I think I can smell odors in the office before even the females do. I have pretty good hearing abilities as well in spite of the fact I visit a place louder than the front row at Talladega at times, that would be Platinum Plus clubs. They have turned the volume down lately. I think it's funny if someone accuses you of having super abilities and then seems to wonder if you're an alien. Hmmm, I did read anyone related to any British royalty may have alien DNA. Of course if you believe that, than you might also believe I'm related to Black Beard the pirate. I think there are too many people bored with their everyday lives. Now if only I knew what female ghost was visiting me in my house, lol. It's late here, sweet dreams and conspiracies everyone.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
•
17 years ago
P.S. go visit www.abovetopsecret.com if you want to know about all kinds of conspiracies. If you scroll down on the left side of the screen, you can look under the "content archive" section and read up about all kinds of conspiracies, secret goverment organizations, aliens, ufo's, etc. etc. Or you can click on "recent posts" near the top middle of the screen to read the latest discussions.
avatar for funtimes2bhad
funtimes2bhad
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17 years ago
Keep an extra change of clothes in the car.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
•
17 years ago
One answer to the smoke odor problem is to do your clubbing in towns that still allow smoking in bars and restaurants. Or hang out regularly with a friend who smokes. I never have a problem with smoke odors because my wife knows that I always sit in the smoking section of any restaurant - she does too. There are usually fewer children in the smoking area, and given the choice between exposure to second-hand smoke or poorly behaved kids (which seems to be redundant these days) I will always choose the former.
avatar for CarolinaWanderer
CarolinaWanderer
•
17 years ago
Two words. Fabreeze and Oust. Spray the Fabreeze first, it kills most odors but leaves its oun smell. Then spray Oust to kill the Fabreeze smell. This has worked for me for years and my SO has a very keen sense of smell.
NC
avatar for DougS
DougS
•
17 years ago
CarolinaWanderer: I have the Fabreeze as part of my ITC/OTC kit that I carry when I'm in that mode. Your phase II (Oust) sounds like a great idea... at least I've always worried about the smell that Fabreeze leaves. I sniffed each "flavor" of Fabreeze before I picked the one I bought, trying to get as close to "scent free" as possible, but it STILL has a perfumey smell. Oust huh? I think I'll look for it and give it a try.
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