Question for the ladies: Nonsense and BS when seeing a Sugar Daddy

28 comments

• Cashman1234

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  2 years ago

  That is a good point. There is likely a certain personality needed to be a sugar baby. It’s not just looking sexy and getting fucked by sugar daddies. This is more of a relationship - than just a hookup. NiceSpice is an intelligent and strong woman - who likely speaks her mind. I think a sugar baby would be intelligent, but more compliant and ready to “fake it” (when needed) with showing attraction to older men. This is not a role for every girl.
• Warrior15

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  2 years ago

  When a stripper does OTC, she knows the game. She is pretending to be a girlfriend for a few hours, giving into the sexual favors, then leaving. There is no "relationship". Just an extended transaction that happens outside the club. A pure sugar baby is different. She wants an emotional connection. She wants a relationship with a single person. And even though it is deep down a business transaction, you have all the bad parts of a civilian relationship. Arguments, jealousy, expectations, control, etc. Not all of them are looking for this, but many are.
• docsavage

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  2 years ago

  I never had sex outside the club with a stripper but I have taken them out to dinner. It appeared to me that it was easy for them to fake friendliness and interest for a short period of time in the strip club but became more difficult to do so over a long period of time outside the strip club.
• nicespice

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  2 years ago

  Well the one time I actually considered having a sugar daddy, he wanted to fly me out to where he was (his work had him constantly in different cities)…but there is no way I’m going to leave my dog behind. So after a couple of times he messaged me to reach out, that was the end of that. There is the whole pretending to be a relationship 🙄I’m already emotionally drained enough with maintaining club regulars. There is often seems to be the preference for more emphasis on gifts over cash because waaaaaaahhhh transaction. But I am not that materialistic and I gravitate towards living in smaller spaces and the last time I had an entire 750 square foot apartment to myself was in 2015. Owning too many things cause me stress, and I’d WAY rather have cash over things. And why would I want to deal with the stress of being dependent on 1-3 men…OOPS I mean just one of course, when one of them could decide to get pissy and cut me off $$ at anytime. I’m too risk averse for that. And for the biggest reason of all: from what I can gather from *most* arrangements, how much time I would have to spend on an hourly basis with most men and their demands is going to be more than the time I spend clocked in at the club for either the same amount or less money. And if I was doing extras every shift just like there would most likely be extras during every single interaction, that time trade-off would get even more stark. The opportunity cost is too high.
• Icee Loco (asshole)

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  2 years ago

  Maintaining the fantasy he's buying gets tedious Putting up with toxic traits and abuse because she needs the money. One of the girls I'm kinda seeing has a sugar daddy. She views him as part of her job and whatever she does with him is business. Sometimes it's scary how she can turn UT on and off. Recently he gifted her some really nice jewelry. Took her on a weekend getaway. She gets back and we went out. Fucked her with that jewelry on and nothing else. For a little while it hit me how the gifts the trip had no impact on how she felt. Yet she gets genuinely happy to just see me and spend time with me. She values a dodgers cap I got her more yhan she does his expensive gifts. She likes being with me coz unlike with him she can be herself. She resents him for having to pretend to be what he pays her to be. Sugar daddies just seem like weirdos desperate enough to believe the gfe they're buying is real. And whether cash or gifts. Its all transactional.
• docsavage

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  2 years ago

  When I was young, I was having sex with a girl who had some old guy giving her expensive presents in order to try to get her as a girlfriend. I could tell she was just stringing him along. She ended up moving in with me, not him. I told myself that someday the situation would be reversed, and I would be the old guy and that I wouldn't have illusions that any girl half my age would have any romantic interest in me. When I'm in a strip club I'm perfectly aware that I'm the customer and the stripper is the employee who is mainly just trying to get money to pay her bills. I think some of my regulars also like my attention. I have one where I'll sit and wait for her to show up for work if she isn't there yet. She told me last Friday she would drive in early if I called her on the phone whenever I got there early. She isn't making that offer because of the two lap dances I buy. She just likes it that I always sit and wait for her and ignore all the other strippers. I may have had regulars who resented me but if they did they were dumb. I don't resent my customers where I work. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have a job.
• Icee Loco (asshole)

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  2 years ago

  Heaving is fucking retarded
• san_jose_guy

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  2 years ago

  NiceSpice is INTP, not a good MBTI for Sex Work. I think more of a self-directed person. When My Org sets its sites on a girl like that, we will assemble a posse of guys with a proven touch in dealing with women, and with MBTI's which are good for her. One way or another, one of them will get through to here and then be able to shepherd her tough the screening, training, and initiation. I won't need to be involved in any of that. I will want the group to grow fast, so nothing will depend on me or on my cock. SJG Awesome Front Room FS Uniform [view link]
• sideshow_bob

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  2 years ago

  @desertscrub, why the negativity? Give good vibes, get good vibes.
• san_jose_guy

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  2 years ago

  Bob, a lot of people on TUSCL really are petty and arbitrarily argumentative. And note that the discussion had gotten into the subject of sex with one of our women, something which should never be talked about. SJG
• TheeOSU

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  2 years ago

  ^ Yet in your previous post you speak of assembling a posse of guys to pursue and convert her. Sure creep how can she pass on that? She sold her dog and is on a flight to you right now, Lol
• san_jose_guy

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  2 years ago

  No fuck head, that is how our group will operate when we decide we want a woman in. It really does not depend on me being involved. SJG
• TheeOSU

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  2 years ago

  Lol, it's so funny when a genuine fuckhead like you calls someone else a fuckhead! Pot meet kettle! Lol
• san_jose_guy

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  2 years ago

  I am not the one who spends all day posting attacks on other posters. SJG
• TheeOSU

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  2 years ago

  I've only been here about 90 minutes, you've been here 7 hours fuckhead, obviously you are the one spending all day here.
• san_jose_guy

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  2 years ago

  I use computers much more than you could ever possibly know about. SJG
• Tetradon

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  2 years ago

  ^ LOL yes, we can tell, when you post everything you've read or listened to on the internet that day.
• TheeOSU

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  2 years ago

  I just checked, I've been here an hour and am about to leave, you've been here 6 hours and I bet will be here at least another hour, so who is spending all day here? Pot meet kettle! Lol
• TheeOSU

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  2 years ago

  'I use computers much more than you could ever possibly know about.' Thank God for that, the library staff wish that comment applied to them.
• san_jose_guy

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  2 years ago

  <img src="[view link]"> SJG
• Uprightcitizen

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  2 years ago

  Lol my present SB mentioned bringing her dog (Pomeranian) on a trip we planned and said absolutely no. I guess I don't stand a chance with Nice Spice unless her dog is less crazy and needy as hers. For the record I caught her dog licking the sex towel once and had to push her dog off the bed post sex getting uncomfortably close sniffing my junk. I am not into inter-species three ways (sorry Rick The Lion).
• herbtcat

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  2 years ago

  Lot's of hate for sugar dating here. I suspect most of it is based on misconceptions about sugar relationships, their own personal demons from past relationships, or maybe they only choose to look for sugar horror stories and assume that that is the entire universe of sugar dating. It is not. It is just as impossible to paint all sugar dating with such a wide, broken brush as it is to paint all strippers as ROB's. I've had many, wonderful sugar relationships over the last 12 (yes twelve!) years. Some called me boyfriend, some called me "Daddy," some asked me for advice and help with real-world problems - and some called me a mark. Not trying to change any minds. Just suggesting that opinions are like assholes: everyone has one and they all stink.
• nicespice

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  2 years ago

  With all due respect, of course California is going to be a hotbed for men to find many, wonderful sugar relationships over the last 12 years. It can be found anywhere, but California more so than most. Heck even Mr San Jose Guy feels pretty confident in his ability to start up a sex cult over there for some reason. [view link]
• Bharlem

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  2 years ago

  The part where the man actually thinks I like him will turn me off. I have about 5 minutes of pleasantries in me until I turn sour Most sugar babies are playing on a small scale. Sugaring with most of you is not even worth it. Why have one when I can have many, add it up and don’t have to lie about how much I miss you. I
• MackTruck

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  2 years ago

  I miss you Bharlem! 💋
• ilbbaicnl

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  2 years ago

  People have wildly differing expectations from sugar dating. But I think it's fairly rare that it doesn't involve FS, so no-brainer the lack of appeal to a non-extras dancer. Three of my favs did become more like dick-stays-in-my-pants sugar babies over time. They kinda liked my sense of humor, that I'd do things like give them a ride when they needed one. And I'm a pretty good listener. I think we PLs have all met that dancer, who's very fixated on getting more and more money from you, without actually making your time with her any better. I think sugar daddies often are the flip side of that problem for sex workers. Constantly trying to get more of her time, put more of an emotional load on her, for the same $. Comes back to a big thing I like to harp on: life is so much simpler when you don't try to get too many needs met by the same person. We need to face the reality that it's a hard enough job for sex workers to do sexual things with people they aren't attracted to. If you need someone to pretend to be Smithers with you being Mr. Burns, that just seems like a separate, full time job in itself.
• blahblahblah23

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  2 years ago

  Ugh this sugar daddy topic is so annoying. It is so easy to get one. Stupid easy. A lot of us just don't wanna deal with that shit. Besides, maybe we can get attractive young guys to spoil us or whatever the aspects that aren't straight up payment... There's also dudes out there who will help u out financially but would be horrified if you called them a sugar daddy. These are good dudes who don't expect you to fuck or even send nudes.
• Icee Loco (asshole)

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  2 years ago

  Blahblah that concept is lost on tuscl.