Who do you trust?

I'd enjoy meeting many of the people here too including you, Shadowcat. To me trust isn't a yes or no thing, it's a question of degree. I trust many of the people here with some stuff, a few of you with a lot of stuff, and my ATF with everything. I also think how much you are willing to trust someone you haven't met is in part a function of your life situation - some of us would probably suffer much greater injury than would others if their participation and opinions expressed here became widely known in their community. So some of us have to be more careful than do others.

And I don't mind discussions about sex, I just think that other topics are of interest too, and that we shouldn't put people down because they enjoy discussing things here that don't interest everyone. One of the things I really enjoy about this site is the fact that our discussions often cover a wide variety of topics. I see no need to restrict that. After all we're all free to read or not read whatever topics we choose. If Book Guy, AN, David and I sometimes ramble off over the horizon, why should anyone else care? If it doesn't interest you don't read it. Heaven knows I don't read everything posted here. I doubt if anyone does.

Shadowcat,

As different from each other as we are, I would consider myself fortunate to call you a friend. Who knows perhaps someday we will meet. I'm sure that trust would follow. As far apart as we are on some subjects I can tell that you are a decent, reasonable and honorable person. And I'm sure we have more common ground than you would think.

That said, I also agree with FONDL's observation that this message board is unique in it's deversity. That is something of immeasurable value. I disagree with many things said here but am damn glad to know all of you in this capacity.

Rock on:

Parodyman--> (Dave)

I also have a list of TUSCLers that I share a lot of the intimate details with. I consider them friends, even though I've not met many of them. I trust them with details that could be very incriminating to me and to the girls, to which I've discussed. (several of you have even seen pics of "my girls", which to me is a huge show of confidence)

For obvious reasons, I don't talk to too many people from my usual circle about my affection for clubbing. Since I am middle-age and terminally single, it has just been something that I started doing in the last 2-3 years.

I exchanged a couple of emails with TUSCL members over that time, especially to get some pointers on who/what to do at certain clubs so that I could get a little extra mileage. These messages have helped.

One time, I inadvertently sent an email about one TUSCL club members review of a club that I wanted to go to, only to find out that I was mistaken and that the TUSCL member had never been to that club. That is how I met Bones.

I've gone clubbing with Bones a couple of times since that email and I have met him at his favorite spots in Cleveland on a couple of more occasions and I have enjoyed the time spent with him (though to be honest, spending time with Bones in a club is really an oxymoron. You may be there at the same time, but he is usually in the VIP area while you aren't or vica versa).

Two things I've learned about Bones are that I hope I am that spry when I get to be his age and that even with a couple of decades on him, I can't possibly keep up with him (he has deeper pockets too).

Well for the slightly paranoid (includes me) I may not divulge as much information as I would as if I was talking to someone in person. However who else am I going to talk to about a fun hobby of mine? I don't talk to co-workers about it. Other sites online restrict anything of a sexual nature so you can't talk freely there. However I am also aware that married couples and others that I know of don't feel any need to go online and post about everything they did with their wife or girlfriend sticking fingers in here or there doing this and that so why do some strip club patrons feel they are special when they get even close to doing those things? I find it interesting and entertaining at the same time. I guess for a single guy, that may be how he keeps score even though it wouldn't necessarily seem like any big deal to someone in a relationship. Maybe the mere fact that society has made these things between two consenting adults illegal in a certain part of society makes it exciting for strip club patrons. Then if you hook up with a dancer, is it like making the ultimate score or are you just getting into another relationship? Perhaps society is too sexually repressed here in the US and that's why all these things are illegal even though it may be between two consenting adults. Maybe if Hillary got elected and she made it illegal for married couples to have sex except on Tuesdays and Thursdays, everyone would be talking about, yep, I fucked my wife really hard last Monday, go to h... Hillary. Who do I trust? People who don't get you in trouble.

Tom, I know enough about Bones to know that your real name is not Tom. We are not the odd couple. He prefers to hit up lots of clubs while I prefer to just stay with one and he now calls it his favorite club too. He has always overspent. But I think that he has finally realized that he has been over spending and does not need to do so to have a good time. He listens to me and trusts me. That is what BIG brothers are for.

CasualGuy: I think your last post may be your most profound posting that I've read! Yeah... kind'a makes me think and wonder... In my REAL life, other than one close friend (who's also a co-worker), I don't have anyone to talk to about my life as a clubber. Hence, my TUSCL buddies/pen pals have filled a void. I have shared some rather intimate details with several of them, and I'm not sure why I feel compelled to do so. I like to think that it's all about bragging, but I guess there surely is that element to it. I believe it's mostly to "get it off my chest"... Maybe to get acceptance or confirmation that I'm not some perverted nut case (err, no pun intended), especially when fellow TUSCLers are experiencing and feeling the same things.

As you stated, I don't feel the same compulsion to talk about what my wife and I do.

CasualGuy and DougS, I think you have hit close to my problem here (if you want to call it that.) I was taught that you don't ever talk about what you did with a woman and that the guys who do talk about it are usually full of shit. As a result I could be banging a dozen strippers a week and I'd never mention it here or anywhere else. I just don't understand the compulsion some guys have of talking about it - if you enjoy having sex with strippers and can find some girls who are willing, by all means do it, but why does anyone need to talk about it in detail? Makes no sense to me. Maybe I'm in the minority here but I'm not interested in hearing the clinical details.

Well, I am damn well in the minority here. I frequently discuss my visits to my favorite club with my son and daughter. 30 and 31. My daughter always knows when I am going and where I will be staying. She has contributed perfume samples for my favorites. I once told my son about a $150 full service that I received. The next time I saw my daughter, at her place of business, she hollared at me from 30 feet away "what do you get for $150?" Later she said "Don't ever tell your son something that you do now want him to tell me." Yes, we are very close but that is where it ends. Other than my TUSCL buddies nobody knows what shadowcat does.

Shadowcat, I don't think you are in the minority here, I think I am. I was always taught to treat women with respect, which means I don't kiss and tell. I know that seems old fashioned today but I'm an old fashioned guy and I plan to stay that way.

I enjoy your comments about your club and your visits and your favorites there. I just don't have much interest in the explicit details about what you do in VIP. But other guys here probably do. So post what you want to and if I'm not interested I just won't read it. Which is what everyone should do when topics don't interest them.

And I'm glad you have that kind of open relationship with your kids if that's what you want. I don't, nor do I especially want to. I prefer to keep some things private.

I thought I heard ringing in my ears and it wasn't the tinitus! LOL

To most of you who had responded to this topic with a thread, you either know me personally or know me through internet conversations. I totally enjoy making friends and meeting new friends. I couldn't survive without it! One of my wishes is to meet the WHOLE (NOT HOLE) bunch of yas before I meet my maker!

As you know, I print a lot about myself, my life, and adventures on my blog post. I have nothing to hide and no reason to hide. I'm proud of what I have accomplished in life and wouldn't change a thing.

When I boast or brag to my TUSCL friends via email and PMs, they know I speak of truth and not fiction. I follow up occasionally with pictures (not the action type of course). I do this, not to prove anything, just for their entertainment and comments. I enjoy hearing about their ventures in return. Some of us actually ask for suggestions and recommendations on different things.

In ending..... I hope my friendship with all of you lasts an eternity, because I love each of you in special ways. So to answer the question of "who do we trust"... I trust each and every one of you and would stake my life on it!

One of the things I've always enjoyed about the whole strip club experience is that, for me, it's a totally different and private life. I enjoy stepping out of the usual fray once in awhile and allowing myself to be someone totally different from who I naormally am. So for me secrecy is important. That has nothing to do with trust, I just like having a secret life. So please forgive me if I'm reluctant to share too much of my "normal" life here - that's that other guy.

No problem at all FONDL. I'd be right in your shoes in your situation. It's just good to have the "secret you" posting and emailing us.

In clubs? No one that has a penis. Honestly, I've had more BS from customers over the years than I've ever had from dancers. Guys pumping me for info, starting rumors about what I do with dancers that I am friendly with, telling my favs that I told them what we do in the dance area (I don't). You name it. Dancers are only looking for your money while many customers are looking to score points with dancers and will say whatever they think will get them a leg-up with a girl.

Yoda: I agree. When I suspect a guy is pumping me for insider information, I throw him a bone and forget about him. And I don't mean that I give him any useful information. The 6 guys that are meeting me at my favorite club tomorrow to celebrate my birthday are trusted friends and will get hooked up with what ever they are looking for.

Yoda, I assume it's their short leg that they are trying to get up?

You guys actually have conversations with other customers in a club? The only time I've ever done that it was a mistake. Never again unless it's a friend.

I have said, "Wassup" sort of things to other customers. And, "Is this seat taken?" And, "No, I'm sitting there, but I think that one's available." Sorts of things. But that's roughly it. Once in a while I might get into a conversation with a tourist group, but usually that's at a "high class" club that has a front bar where girls aren't naked, and it's roughly the same as meeting out-of-towners at a hotel lobby. "No, go here for a restaurant, and make sure you don't go to this cemetery until tomorrow, and you want to visit that museum" type conversations. That's because this is a tourist city.

I have conversations with other customers in my regular club all the time. Actually, since I spend a lot of time there, I feel like part of the family, just not getting paid. I will promote (word of mouth) my FAV dancers to others, try & help them out. Sometimes, I get (THINGS?) back for doing that!! :-)~ Other than that, there are some other regulars that come in and we say "hi" and maybe exchange some general comments.

FONDL: I actually rarely, if ever, have conversations with customers in clubs. There have been a few exceptions and each time I have walked away fairly aggravated. One guy thought I was a pimp for a past ATF as he saw us sitting together all the time. He kept insisting that I had to set something up for him OTC. Another moron that I've know for a while lied to a dancer that he wanted to sleep with by telling her that I was doing the same with her best friend-another dancer at the same club. I wish I was but I wasn't! I'm puzzled by the logic but some guys will say anything to get laid!

I always go to clubs alone and never really have a conservation with fellow customers. Except one time last year. A guy about my age came in with his son and his son's friend and sat down at the table next to me. The guy said he rarely goes to SCs but he was celebrating his son's 18th birthday. He struck up a conversation with me about some of the girls and I ended up buying a dance with my favorite girl for his son. Way out of character for me. Maybe he was setting me up, but I didn't feel ripped off. I kind of felt good about doing it for the kid.