Is the club bartender closer to being a civvie or a stripper?

Oh and she's never been arrested lol

Why don’t you go out with her and find out, why would you care what a bunch of perverts think anyway?

Read closer. I said I'm going out with her. This entire site is asking what perverts think in case you missed that

I asked you a better question why do you care what anyone thinks?

^ I read just fine, you’re just looking to brag then do it but asking a question like that is weak AF

I'm not bragging. Looking over the threads over the years, there are plenty of guys here who bang bartenders. Besides, lots of guys brag on here lol. You might have missed that.

The question stands. I tend to think of most bartenders in fancy clubs as extensions of strippers with all the hustle that comes with it. But in smaller dive bars it gets hazy. I'm curious how others see it.

And all those guys made those threads unapologetically to brag, that would rate a good on them, what’s wrong with a little bragging it’s actually the reason this website was created.

Female bartenders in strip clubs are often previous dancers. But certainly they are cool with strippers. Sometimes they can do dances, especially when the place is just opening up. At some of our Mexican Bars they seem available for OTC.

SJG

In My Dreams youtube.com

In my view, strip club bartenders are girls who don’t feel comfortable dancing on stage in lingerie.

However, they have heard every line in the book, and are likely very aware of CS (customer shit).

So, you must have impressed her as a good guy who she wants to hang out with. I’m sure she’s got several tests that you’ve already passed - as she’s interested.

Enjoy a nice date with her. She already likes you. This is a civilian girl who can handle herself around filthy perverts.

^ I can go along with that advice!

SJG

In My Dreams youtube.com

Yeah Cash I suppose that's right. I just think it's an opportunity in smaller clubs where the bartenders are more civvie - like that we shouldn't overlook. Again, apologies if folks thought this was a bragging thread. I feel o need to do that. We all have conquests. Be a man and just hand the ball off to the red when you score no need for a fancy celebration lol

I depends a lot on the club. In some clubs the bartenders are former dancers who aren't opposed to acting stripper-ish in order to pad their tips. In others they are just straight up bartenders who identify more as part of the staff rather than dancers. Then there are varying shades of gray in between.

Honestly you're in a better position to figure it out than we are, so I agree with 25 that it's kinda' pointless for those of us on this Board to blindly speculate. If you're not sure what you're dealing with, just accept her invitation and figure it out from there.

Actually we are about the same age. She's attractive. Just a good woman. The League stuff I don't like either. Too many factors. Yes, same league and same age

Some bartenders are better looking than many strippers, but don’t strip for money.

Everyone’s situation is unique.

What I think is that you should decide first what are your intentions, dinner and dessert, One night stand, Pump several times and dump

Or do you want to date with the possibility of a long term relationship.

Just remember that her kids are probably her first priority.

You might jus be interested in P4P OTC.

Just ask her what would she be convenient for her and her kids.

God look and remember Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.

:D

Lol this thread wasn't intended to be about the specifics of my date but the general idea and discussion of to what degree bartenders of various stripes present in the club as civvie - like or stripper - like. But all threads go in a bunch of directions

So I'm treating it civvie - like a d just letting it go where it goes. That's always the most fun when you just let life happen. If I go into "customer mode" you can get impatient and offer incentives for sex lol. I'm just letting life come to me these days

Cacaplop just trills here asking inane questions. Don't humor him

Civvie or Stripper? Most of the time women will be very happy to be whatever you want them to be.

SJG

That's a deep statement SJG

The place I first learned this was the Sunnyvale Brass Rail. I could see that this Latina would be happy to do and be whatever I wanted. I was approaching her in a totally civvie manner, but she could go the other way too. Women are just like this.

I would suggest that you always engage with them in a completely civvie manner, even though in some venues you should be handing them money.

SJG

SJG, "I would suggest that you always engage with them in a completely civvie manner, even though in some venues you should be handing them money."

A venue like the lawyers office when I signed the divorce papers years ago?

You did what you needed to do. That has to be commended. A lot of these guys are LDKing in strip clubs, acting like that is not marital infidelity.

SJG

In My Dreams youtube.com

Newshour youtube.com

SJG is it also relationship infidelity if a stripper is assisting woth an LDK then? It does seem that some strippers avoid LDK, and avoid grinding on the dick when its hard.

Jimmie, its civvie but you mentioned shes a hard working woman wjth kids. There is a stereotype that single mothers are aggressive, forward, and want someone with money. A lot of single mothers banged guys who didnt stay with them, and then are looking for a nicer guy with money. When a girl asks you out it doesnt necessarily mean she likes you, it could also be she wants to use you for something like sex, your fame, status, wealth, commitment etc. the more you have any of those things the higher the chances someone could be looking to use you. This might be one of the reasons why some of these celebrities are paying to fuck escorts when they could get free sex from all kinds of civvie girls.

Even spending time and money in a strip club is marital infidelity.

If guys want to partake with their wives, we have Swingers Clubs.

SJG

SJG What about strippers who are in relationships?

I would say that they usually are unfuckable. But you never know. Rick Dugan and Georgemicrodong have posted about immediate OTC with ones who were married. A lot of time they like to bitch about their husbands.

And TaxiDriver posted about one who always refused VIP. But once she had had a fight with her BF, she was on her back in the VIP Room ramming her tongue into his mouth as they finished up.

I would not target ones who are married.

SJG

In My Dreams youtube.com

zzounds.com

Went out tonight with her. Definitely civvie. Insisted on splitting the dinner bill. But I covered drinks prior to dinner. Kissed her on the cheek at her door and we agreed to get together next week. So I guess civvie in this case.

So, I will take it off line and see where it goes

That’s great! She sounds like a sweet civilian girl!

I don’t think shes sweet i think she’s manipulative. She’s splitting the bill now, but hoping and planning you’ll commit to her eventually. Not exactly a nice person, a nice person would do that with no strings attached.

SJG isnt them being strippers meaning theure cheating too if clients getting lapdances is cheating. Also there seem to be many many strippers with boyfriends who either know about their otc activities, or who they do it secretly from. Even if they have kids. In fact supposedly the dancers with kids are more likely to do OTC, more likely to cheat on their partner cause they’re in more need of the money

BTE lol I'm glad you can read her mind

I think all this is yet to be determined so you proceed slow

Its human nature imo, guys and girls do manipulative shit to get their needs. I don’t do it, but most people do. But yeah it takes time to figure out

I just assume the best in people until proven otherwise. But I always protect my ass just in case

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Maybe if you had insisted on paying for dinner, she would have kissed you back. 😉

Putting that aside, I'm glad it went alright. As far as your broader topic, there isn't really much to say except: It depends entirely on the girl and the club. Practices and attitudes vary widely.

Lol Rick. She wouldn't let me pay! Lol.

It's hard to get out of strip club mode with civvies. I'm sure I will fuck it up when we have sex. I will probably give her a hard 90 seconds, throw $200 on the bed, walk to the car and think I somehow got a good deal lol.

Also, it's been so long since I've had civvie sex. Does it work the same as with strippers? I mean when that little thing that hangs down between my legs rises up does it still go into that opening she has between her legs?

Jimmy, I feel that you could have pushed her a little harder and bedded her right away.

BTE, you pick the kinds of women you want to be with.

SJG

"Jane" by Jefferson Starship METAL COVER Feat. Type O Negative + Lucifer + The Hellacopters and More youtube.com

No no I kinda like her I'm not going to bed her immediately. For women, everything is foreplay

I would say that moving assertively is important. But okay.

SJG

Well this is getting in the realm of civvie dating which folks here stent as interested in so like I said I should take that off line I guess. But if I'm interested in a woman in a serious way or possibly so or just exploring it, I'm not cashing in my chips for pussy on the first damn date lol. More importantly, she needed to get home to the kids that night so it was impractical.

Bartenders in clubs, and she's no exception, get hit on and offered money for sex just like dancers. Not rushing it is a useful strategy in the civvie context even if that's all you want. But she's cool and I might want to explore a bit more with her.

Like I said, I'm sure I will fuck it up and offer money for a blow job from one of the dancers who I didn't know was her cousin lol

Assertiveness, making it happen with her. Letting her see that you are not afraid to move on her and feeling your attraction in her bones.

SJG

Hell Is For Children by Pat Benatar youtube.com

Strippers are from Venus, bartenders are from Mars. Or not.

i’ve definitely seen a couple of bartenders from Venus.

Jimmy, this bar tender, she knows you go after the strippers.

I think to engage with women, you have to listen to the little devil who is standing on your left shoulder and speaking into your left ear.

"You are king of the world and all women are here for your sexual pleasure."

You have to think that way to be able to move on them, instead of waiting for them to initiate. I mean really, she is there all dolled up for you and you are not moving on her?

In My Organization the women will be instructed, trained, and initiated to be sex slaves. They will know that it is their job to make you understand,

"You are king of the world and all women are here for your sexual pleasure."

SJG

My two cents. Quite often a bartender in a stip club is a former dancer who either aged out or wanted to stop. Its quite rare to find a bartender who would want to bartend in the environment unless they already have done it. Some girls that could definitely still dance just would rather bartend. I would not call them civvies they are in the industry even if they don't actively dance, its way different than if you went out with a bartender in a regular bar.

Well here's an update. It's kinda grey.

We went out last night and decided to get a room for a few hours and it was good, solid civvie sex with no money involved.

We went out for drinks after and she said she needed a man in her life and she's like to keep seeing me. Then she said among the reasons she needs a man is it's hard to make it alone as an older single mom financially. We talked around that a bit. But nothing specific. But she made it clear she's not looking to be a prostitute unlike half the other girls in the club. It was all I could do not to ask for their names lol.

But just in case she was serious, I said let's keep talking and see how it goes.

She's not danced really in her life and hasn't bartended in strip clubs regularly.

So it's grey. But I'm leaning toward answering my question as dancer not civvie.

It's dumb and lazy to think you know somebody, what they have been, will be, want to be, if you haven't gotten to know them. Perhaps because they don't choose to let you know them.

That's true actually

From your description of your dates, she’s a smart woman. She’s thinking about the future. She seems to think you are a decent and solid guy.

This woman isn’t a stripper or a slut - she’s a civilian and I respect her thinking.

It’s likely good to think about whether you are cool with continuing to see her, as you now know her intentions.

Jim, enjoy her fully, wear out mattresses with her.

SJG