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Dancer changing rules from dance to dance?

When you get dances with the same dancer, do you ask them their rules before each dance?
It seems odd to me to verify and ask the rules before each dance, so I didn’t do this. But it was a mistake.
Have you had a dancer without warning, create new rules from one dance to the next?
An example of this is, you get two dances with a dancer, and she lets you touch her pussy in them but doesn’t want you fingering.
In the third dance, she says no when you ask to touch the pussy. It’s a surprise, since it wasn’t an issue in previous dances.

Another example of this is, she lets you play with nipples in dances, but on the 4th dance, halfway through it, she says no more nipple play because the nipples are getting activated. This is again a surprise, since it’s a new rule you weren’t made aware of before the dance started.

For another example, say she squirts milk in one dance, but in the next dance says she doesn’t want the milk to be a dealbreaker, her milk is her personal thing, etc.

Is this some kind of control freak issue? In one dance she said no when i asked to touch the pussy, then later in the dance was sitting on my lap sticking the pussy out towards me, and saying see it’s not hairy. There was a thong on it, so she was basically indicating she wanted me to feel it and look at it. But obviously, she said no earlier in the dance when I asked to touch, so it didn’t make sense to me to touch it later on even though she’s sticking it out towards me saying see its not hairy.

That feels like some sort of control tactic, something where she’s subtly hinting that I can touch her pussy but only when she allows it and wants me to? I mean 5 or 10 minutes ago she said no, and now shes offering it saying see its not hairy. Something smells off about the situation.

My lapdance experience is limited. Ive only gotten dances from maybe 10 different dancers. Is this standard dancer behavior? If this is standard dancer behavior, I would be forced to avoid clubs all together and stick to escorts.

Does this stuff happen often with civvie girls too? It all seems too manipulative, scammerish and controlling to me. If a girl tells me no to touching pussy, then asks me to touch it 5 or 10 minutes later, I interpret that as her trying to train me to be a dog or slave. She said no before, im not gonna touch it 10 minutes later. It just seems very odd. When it happened it felt odd to me, and thinking about it now I can see why it felt so off then. It’s some sort of control tactic, trying to train you to behave a certain way, trying to train you to do whatever she asks i think.