Has a dancer ever "mind-fu..cked" you?
David9999
This is posted on Stripperweb (pink site) today, January 2, 2008 by "Katrine"(12,387 posts in total) STRIPPING, "Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?" For "context" read the entire thread which is only 18 posts currently. Note Ms "Katrine" to her credit takes a highly principled stance, which is nice to see. I guess what is particularly troubling is hearing the opinion - of such a highly experienced dancer - that such "mind fucking" is perceived to be essentially a requisite to holding onto this kind of a regular.
Since I have at various times been (by most definitions) a "big-spending regular" with different dancers, I find these comments particularly interesting. Currently, I have concluded I have not (so far at least) been "mind fucked" however I am on full MIND FUCKING ALERT after reading this thread.
BEGIN QUOTE
Disagree. Totally. In order to have big-spending regulars, you have to mind-fuck them. You have to lie and flirt, feign interest, etc. More so than normal. Only once in a blue moon will you get that guy who wants to spend and spend with no expecations.
And of course, the moment a girl at your club on SW gets that guy, she's going to brag to the heavens about him. Its human nature.
Leogirl, I understand how you feel. When I heard about girls getting shopping sprees, no cars, etc, I felt that tinge of envy. But in order to get those things, you have to place yourself in that position.
I never felt comfortable with that at all, and I did just fine. 98% of the time, regulars are a game of diminishing returns. Why try to suck a bone dry over 6 months, when you can suck him dry then and there, on that very night?
If you aren't comfortable with the regular thing, work on the above strategy. I found it very effective, but it takes a different kind of energy and patience.
END QUOTE
Since I have at various times been (by most definitions) a "big-spending regular" with different dancers, I find these comments particularly interesting. Currently, I have concluded I have not (so far at least) been "mind fucked" however I am on full MIND FUCKING ALERT after reading this thread.
BEGIN QUOTE
Disagree. Totally. In order to have big-spending regulars, you have to mind-fuck them. You have to lie and flirt, feign interest, etc. More so than normal. Only once in a blue moon will you get that guy who wants to spend and spend with no expecations.
And of course, the moment a girl at your club on SW gets that guy, she's going to brag to the heavens about him. Its human nature.
Leogirl, I understand how you feel. When I heard about girls getting shopping sprees, no cars, etc, I felt that tinge of envy. But in order to get those things, you have to place yourself in that position.
I never felt comfortable with that at all, and I did just fine. 98% of the time, regulars are a game of diminishing returns. Why try to suck a bone dry over 6 months, when you can suck him dry then and there, on that very night?
If you aren't comfortable with the regular thing, work on the above strategy. I found it very effective, but it takes a different kind of energy and patience.
END QUOTE
23 comments
I have had some regulars, for years, one going on like 10 years...
I don't like the whole mind fuck idea, to me, its not living my life to be a good person by doing this... As an honest dancer yea I may make a little less over all, but I am good with that
Out of curiosity. Even if you do not make as many "big hits" as some dancers do you find that your earnings have been more consistent over the years due to your approach?
I noticed some dancers seem to be able to invent what I would call a sort of "club reality" which is a sort of half-way world between the standard (and well understood) club fantasy world and the outside real world. A particular dancer may in fact have a genuine like for a customer (of course nearly always just in a platonic type of way) and they might even prefer this customer over other customers that visit the club in terms of socializing and so forth, then you start adding large sums money to the equation, and that's when the line gets crossed, and the "club reality" allows them to make statements, statements that are supposedly "real" to the PL that would however to an objective observer be considered highly deceptive.
Of course, once _____ (fill in blank with positive event) happens, then naturally the girl is going to _____ (fill in blank with absolutely inappropriate behavior), it's just human nature.
NO, GIRLY GIRLY, IT'S EVIL-PERSON STRIPPER NATURE. Most humans learn to control themselves and act appropriately instead.
Strippers sell a service. Nobody puts a gun to the buyer's head and forces him to shell out money. Patrons have varying interests and varying amounts of cash. Despite what many here seem to believe, a dancers main interest is making money. If she is good at her job she will figure out the best way to part you from your cash. And if she is really good, she'll do it in a way that makes you want to come back and do it all over again. Call it a "mind fuck" call it "stripper shit" call it whatever. But a good stripper will figure out what you are there for and play to it. A good patron knows what she is there for and figures out how to get the biggest bang for his $$, within the limits she allows.
One man's 100 bill is another man's $500 is another man's $1000. And one dancer's $25 dance is another dancer's $100 BJ is another dancer's $400 OTC encounter. Maybe we need to start a Stripper/Patron-Match.com website. Could be a hit--lol
I also bartend at the club I dance at, and bartend at a regular bar as well.
Yesterday I had a customer of 8 years stop in the regular bar to see me..
I met him as a dancer at another club I worked at then..
FONDL, oh my goodness, you got it so right... Those are the types that have been my customers for years... Not everyone has a ton to spend all the time, but everyone's money adds up at the end of the day.
When you use the term with the less "evil" connotation, then I think it is fair to say that any well-informed SC patron expects to encounter some mind-f**king as a matter of course, and just take it in stride -- part of the game.
MIND FUCK, source "urbandictionary.com" (Def #4)
DEFINITION: when someone messes with your mind...usually when someone of the opposite sex plays games with your head, but can be used when anyone trys to manipulate you through mind tactics. (example) "This guy I was dating was mind fucking me to no end...he would give me special gifts and be sweet then turn around and be a total ass. Why do people play mind fucking games? It sucks nuts!"
But that's just my olde tyme definition of mind-fuck. Evidently now'days it just means, you misled someone. How sad. The old words, when they are short, are best.
LONELY PLs
"Some of the more pathetic lonely ones, that I know I can walk all over, I might give my number to so I can text them and say I miss you. This guarantees they come back. These are the ones that you can tell to buy you gifts."
PLs HOPING FOR OTC
"Some actually think they want an OTC relationship with you... string those along as much as possible and cut them loose when they stop spending money or give you the, "i hate having to come here to see you, i really care about you" bullshit"
WHITE KNIGHTS
"Then there are the guys with the white knight complex. If you actually enjoy these guys, hold onto them!!!"
BTW I guess I must note they boo'd me off the pink site a while back LOL
It amazing that so little if anything in the major broadcast and print media is directed at analyzing the complex relationships between strippers and customers -instead they always seem to focus on one theme, which is really no longer the essence of the business: "drug addicted and abused strippers being exploited"
In rare cases the tables get turned. In fact a very small subset of dancers use the club as a sort of shopping market for men, and when they come after you, all sorts of strange things start happening, the first thing is that the word somehow gets put out in the club. You also mentioned unexplained "sitting with (you) at the club for long stretches of time". They might say "am I bothering you"? and you end up having to ask them "what's going on?" Add to this comments from bartenders and various club staff, along with unsolicited comments or questions from random dancers.
What's described above is clearly a reverse of what's the norm in clubs.
Every one understanding the inner workings of typical strip clubs knows about the standard RIL situation, and how club staff members often see the interaction of the RIL and his dancer - basically in the context of an inside joke. If I would put numbers on this: a wild guess would be 999 times its the inside joke vs one time the opposite, for example a staff member saying to a customer "hey, what's this I'm hearing about you and X"?