Has a dancer ever "mind-fu..cked" you?

This is posted on Stripperweb (pink site) today, January 2, 2008 by "Katrine"(12,387 posts in total) STRIPPING, "Don't have regulars, what's wrong with me?" For "context" read the entire thread which is only 18 posts currently. Note Ms "Katrine" to her credit takes a highly principled stance, which is nice to see. I guess what is particularly troubling is hearing the opinion - of such a highly experienced dancer - that such "mind fucking" is perceived to be essentially a requisite to holding onto this kind of a regular.

Since I have at various times been (by most definitions) a "big-spending regular" with different dancers, I find these comments particularly interesting. Currently, I have concluded I have not (so far at least) been "mind fucked" however I am on full MIND FUCKING ALERT after reading this thread.

BEGIN QUOTE

Disagree. Totally. In order to have big-spending regulars, you have to mind-fuck them. You have to lie and flirt, feign interest, etc. More so than normal. Only once in a blue moon will you get that guy who wants to spend and spend with no expecations.

And of course, the moment a girl at your club on SW gets that guy, she's going to brag to the heavens about him. Its human nature.

Leogirl, I understand how you feel. When I heard about girls getting shopping sprees, no cars, etc, I felt that tinge of envy. But in order to get those things, you have to place yourself in that position.

I never felt comfortable with that at all, and I did just fine. 98% of the time, regulars are a game of diminishing returns. Why try to suck a bone dry over 6 months, when you can suck him dry then and there, on that very night?

If you aren't comfortable with the regular thing, work on the above strategy. I found it very effective, but it takes a different kind of energy and patience.

END QUOTE

23 comments

Latest

  • evilcyn
    17 years ago
    It is true that without lieing you don't maybe get "big time spenders" As a dancer who does not play the head games, I still have regulars that spend and know what they are in for..
    I have had some regulars, for years, one going on like 10 years...
    I don't like the whole mind fuck idea, to me, its not living my life to be a good person by doing this... As an honest dancer yea I may make a little less over all, but I am good with that
  • crizgolfer
    17 years ago
    Evilcyn...You say that you make "a little less over all" than the dancers that use mind games. You also state that you have had some regulars for close to 10 years.

    Out of curiosity. Even if you do not make as many "big hits" as some dancers do you find that your earnings have been more consistent over the years due to your approach?
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    "Mind fucking" is an interesting term as it clearly infers a willful intent to deceive, actually a step beyond Katrine's own definition of "lying", although the rest of the definition or merely "feigning interest and flirting" are basically just normal run of the mill expected stripper shi.t

    I noticed some dancers seem to be able to invent what I would call a sort of "club reality" which is a sort of half-way world between the standard (and well understood) club fantasy world and the outside real world. A particular dancer may in fact have a genuine like for a customer (of course nearly always just in a platonic type of way) and they might even prefer this customer over other customers that visit the club in terms of socializing and so forth, then you start adding large sums money to the equation, and that's when the line gets crossed, and the "club reality" allows them to make statements, statements that are supposedly "real" to the PL that would however to an objective observer be considered highly deceptive.
  • FONDL
    17 years ago
    I'm of the opinion that the way to have a successful long-term regular relationship is to never spend big. But don't be cheap either. Strive for that happy medium where the girl will eventually figure out that you are her best customer. Let her suck the big spenders dry for the short time that they're interested in her but she'll keep coming back to you because he'll realize that you're there for the long term.
  • BobbyI
    17 years ago
    David: It's called "rationalization", of course. Deep inside they know it's wrong (except for the legitimate sociopaths). This wrong doing is part of the reason you see the deterioration in girls who do it over time. At the end of the day if you do not behave morally you will not be able to have a very high opinion of yourself, and the extra money you made will not buy it for you (at best you could shut it out by buying distraction. Like drugs and alcohol.) Congrats to evilcyn, who seems to understand this (and my apologies if I am putting words in her mouth).
  • Book Guy
    17 years ago
    The thing that cracks me up about that quote is the following:

    Of course, once _____ (fill in blank with positive event) happens, then naturally the girl is going to _____ (fill in blank with absolutely inappropriate behavior), it's just human nature.

    NO, GIRLY GIRLY, IT'S EVIL-PERSON STRIPPER NATURE. Most humans learn to control themselves and act appropriately instead.
  • driver01
    17 years ago
    We've had varying degrees of this topic discussed ad nauseum so why not again...lol

    Strippers sell a service. Nobody puts a gun to the buyer's head and forces him to shell out money. Patrons have varying interests and varying amounts of cash. Despite what many here seem to believe, a dancers main interest is making money. If she is good at her job she will figure out the best way to part you from your cash. And if she is really good, she'll do it in a way that makes you want to come back and do it all over again. Call it a "mind fuck" call it "stripper shit" call it whatever. But a good stripper will figure out what you are there for and play to it. A good patron knows what she is there for and figures out how to get the biggest bang for his $$, within the limits she allows.

    One man's 100 bill is another man's $500 is another man's $1000. And one dancer's $25 dance is another dancer's $100 BJ is another dancer's $400 OTC encounter. Maybe we need to start a Stripper/Patron-Match.com website. Could be a hit--lol
  • zorro
    17 years ago
    "mind-fucked"?? What's that? Where someone has some kind of supernatural power over you? Nope, never happened to me. Has a stripper ever flattered me? Hell yeah! Do I believe it? Hell no! Instead of "has a dancer ever mind fucked you?", how about rephrasing it to "are you gullible?".
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    Actually a good "mind fucking" as a VIP or Champagne room option - offered by a hot dancer is probably not something most guys would turn down
  • evilcyn
    17 years ago
    crigolfer, I think yes that over time that yes its more consistent..
    I also bartend at the club I dance at, and bartend at a regular bar as well.
    Yesterday I had a customer of 8 years stop in the regular bar to see me..
    I met him as a dancer at another club I worked at then..
    FONDL, oh my goodness, you got it so right... Those are the types that have been my customers for years... Not everyone has a ton to spend all the time, but everyone's money adds up at the end of the day.
  • arbeeguy
    17 years ago
    "Mind-f**k" will necessarily mean different things to different people. There's no precise definition, so all the above posters are not necessarily discussing the same idea. Take a look at the definitions for this term in "Urban Dictionary" In general we probably agree that it involves deception but not necessarily. It could also involve truthful contradictions and paradoxes meant to bewilder more than deceive.

    When you use the term with the less "evil" connotation, then I think it is fair to say that any well-informed SC patron expects to encounter some mind-f**king as a matter of course, and just take it in stride -- part of the game.
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    I too noticed that urban dictionary definitions of "mind fuck" tend not to be that sinister. The one below would probably be most suitable.

    MIND FUCK, source "urbandictionary.com" (Def #4)

    DEFINITION: when someone messes with your mind...usually when someone of the opposite sex plays games with your head, but can be used when anyone trys to manipulate you through mind tactics. (example) "This guy I was dating was mind fucking me to no end...he would give me special gifts and be sweet then turn around and be a total ass. Why do people play mind fucking games? It sucks nuts!"

  • Book Guy
    17 years ago
    I don't think of the term that way. Maybe I'm behind the times, but to me, a "mind fuck" is a very sinister thing. I'd use it to mean a combination of "lied" and "manipulated" and "misled." Kind of like the way many dancers fool someone into thinking he'll get more service than he will in order to get their money, and doing it in a manner that's somehow psychologically confusing. To adequately mind-fuck, you don't just lie and say, "Yes, you'll get a blowjob" and then not give a blowjob; rather, there has to be some kind of hypnotism or Tony-Robbins-esque enthusiastic motivational speech going on of some sort.

    But that's just my olde tyme definition of mind-fuck. Evidently now'days it just means, you misled someone. How sad. The old words, when they are short, are best.
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    My reaction to the term "Mind fucking" is a bit different than the typically discussed issue (for example by certain pink site dancers) of merely stringing along RILs until the inevitable and expected burn out, often estimated to in the range 6 or so months. "Mind fucking" would suggest to me a near sociopathic level of manipulation, although others, including urban dictionary, don't usually label it quite that way.
  • shadowcat
    17 years ago
    I have had some that confused the shit out of me. What do they want? But I don't recall any dancer really trying to fuck with my mind.
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    Some interesting comments by "Desiree" (post #30 same thread) referring to developing a customized approach for each type of regular PL and to optimize each MIND FUCKING by knowing "what they are good for."

    LONELY PLs

    "Some of the more pathetic lonely ones, that I know I can walk all over, I might give my number to so I can text them and say I miss you. This guarantees they come back. These are the ones that you can tell to buy you gifts."

    PLs HOPING FOR OTC

    "Some actually think they want an OTC relationship with you... string those along as much as possible and cut them loose when they stop spending money or give you the, "i hate having to come here to see you, i really care about you" bullshit"

    WHITE KNIGHTS

    "Then there are the guys with the white knight complex. If you actually enjoy these guys, hold onto them!!!"
  • wondergrl5
    17 years ago
    Im sorry but that is rude. Yes your in it to make money but to think of fellow humans like that is messed up. To savor someones loneliness is mean then brag about it is weell to quote David999 sociopathic. When some of these women quit stripping theyd be perfect canidates to work for "big tobacco".

    BTW I guess I must note they boo'd me off the pink site a while back LOL
  • rockie
    17 years ago
    A strip club is a dangerous place to go if you're even capable of being "mind fucked". Nobody should enter a strip club seeking any semblance of a normal relationship. As a customer, I enter the club seeking entertainment only. That I'm friendly with some entertainers - I consider it strictly a business friendship. If the relationship isn't working for both parties, I move on. I don't recall Tuscl treating dancers like "phoenixblacque" any better than SW treats customers on their board. Presently, the "pink side" of SW will bite any contradictory posters' head off (dancer/customer/man/woman). Wondergrl5: There are many warped perspectives in our world, we just seem to always hope that it's not as bad as it seems. The older I get the less faith I have in the inherent good that exists in our world!
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    Assuming a dancer were truly sociopathic (lets say less than 10% of dancers might be labeled as such) and she had the beauty and charm to reel-in nearly any gullible PL - then the only thing limiting her would be when the risk to her personal safety by possibly creating stalkers would be perceived to exceed the monetary benefits of her elaborate con games. Most pink posters in my honest opinion have some reservations about pushing the deception game too far with PLs, many don't even go near it, however it's this stalker risk that is also often cited as THE major worry by many dancers that it's not a game even worth playing.

    It amazing that so little if anything in the major broadcast and print media is directed at analyzing the complex relationships between strippers and customers -instead they always seem to focus on one theme, which is really no longer the essence of the business: "drug addicted and abused strippers being exploited"

  • casualguy
    17 years ago
    I was thinking of where it's possible to mind fuck a dancer. Maybe it's not even intentional but a dancer may start getting a different impression of you than you intended but you don't try to correct her because it seems to be in your favor. One dancer seemed almost infatuated or something with me one time. She was calling me up at home, just wanting to talk to me for no particular reason. Then she was sitting with me at the club for long stretches of time ( I call anything over 30 minutes a long time) without even asking for dances. I don't think she was trying to mind fuck though. She just wanted to do more stuff with me away from the club. I have to admit though, when a dancer says she remembers you from many years ago and knows where a pic of you is located in a club in another state, you start wondering how much she does know about you.
  • David9999
    17 years ago
    "One dancer seemed almost infatuated or something with me one time."

    In rare cases the tables get turned. In fact a very small subset of dancers use the club as a sort of shopping market for men, and when they come after you, all sorts of strange things start happening, the first thing is that the word somehow gets put out in the club. You also mentioned unexplained "sitting with (you) at the club for long stretches of time". They might say "am I bothering you"? and you end up having to ask them "what's going on?" Add to this comments from bartenders and various club staff, along with unsolicited comments or questions from random dancers.

    What's described above is clearly a reverse of what's the norm in clubs.
    Every one understanding the inner workings of typical strip clubs knows about the standard RIL situation, and how club staff members often see the interaction of the RIL and his dancer - basically in the context of an inside joke. If I would put numbers on this: a wild guess would be 999 times its the inside joke vs one time the opposite, for example a staff member saying to a customer "hey, what's this I'm hearing about you and X"?
  • minnow
    17 years ago
    driver 01 gets to the meat of the matter, all else is distracting BS.
  • SuperDude
    17 years ago
    So a gullible customer thinks he might have a shot at a real OTC experience if he keeps meeting the demand for more dances and tips. It doesn't happen. He's been played or mind-fucked. So what. He knew what he was getting into. Dancers don't care about customers or their emotions--just money. Deal with it.
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