Crazy Horse --- Miami

9 comments

• BuckMcNutter

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  17 years ago

  it will be closed in 6 months. I went in during the day recently and there were not customers and 4 fat girls
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  Hi gatorjoe2, Unfortunately, I haven't been there. Now, I will make the effort to stop by. It will probably be a gentleman's club which means that it will be out of my price range. The type of clubs that I like (or can afford) doesn't appeal to most strip club customers. Going to a club during the day can be 100% different than going to a club at night--usually the night is much better, ime. And, even the quality of a day visit can vary drastically for the same club. Club Diamonds had some hotties during the day, but management surprisingly didn't value the attractive dancers. One of the managers was asking my opinion and was surprised that I was so focused on looks--He had assumed mileage would be more important. And, the uglier girls he said were easy to work with and expected less. Anyway, their dayshift I think doesn't even open anymore--they were really scraping rock bottom as far as looks, but excellent mileage was available. At least every time I've made a visit I couldn't even get in because no one had showed up! One time a dancer showed up just as I was leaving and was surprised the club was closed and she come in a taxi from Miami Beach (expensive). She was an unhappy camper.
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  Hello again, I may not be making a visit after all. I called their phone number---305-999-9500----to get basic information and it is definitely a gentlemen's club. I pretty much knew this was the case from their website: [view link] . It looks more upscale and cozier than Tootsies based on the web photos. The woman that I spoke with says the hours are from 11:30 AM to 5:30 AM. After 7:30 PM there is a $10 cover charge. The cheapest dance price is $25. It looks like a very attractive fun place, but that is just way out of my budget. I would also add that at those prices you should be able to see hot dancers at ALL hours. One of the benefits of a gentlemen's club should be that the club makes sure hot dancers are available during club hours even if the club has to pay hot dancers initially to show up. Club Diamonds, also a gentlemen's club (also a black club), actually didn't consider dancer quality to be important all. One reason given was that customers have such different tastes. Mileage was supposed to be the holy grail.
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  Temptation got the best of me. :) I visited the club from just a little before 3 PM to just a little before 5 PM (12/26/07). It is embarrassing to say, but I missed the club on my first attempt. It is just a stone's throw from Tootsies, but it is in an industrial area abutting the west side of I-95. In fact, it is easy to see from the expressway. Like Tootsies it is a big club. I think the furnishing here are much nicer and I would describe it as more upscale than Tootsies. There is a sushi restaurant on the second level, but it opens at 7 PM. There was some other coffee place as well, but I was focused on checking out the VIP suites. Very nice. The bouncer informed there was a dress code so really I shouldn't have been on 2nd level. I was told the dances there start at $300 and go up! There was some good variety for the VIP rooms as to both size and furnishings. One of the rooms looked like it probably was $2,000 or more, but I'm not good at prices for upscale establishments. I've never been on the 2nd level for Tootsies so I can't compare the 2 upper levels. Initially, I saw 5 dancers. One black and the others were white. I would rate them as 8s. The only one who was a little over weight was the black dancer. She could stand to lose 5 to 7 pounds, imo. By the time I left there was about 12 dancers working--10 whites and 2 blacks. Most were 8s. There was a 9.5 to 10. Beautiful small white girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. Perky medium tits. One tat. No fat at all; just nicely shaped. Another white dancer would also have been a 9 to 9.5, but she had a very unattractive vagina. She was tiny almost school girl like with a beautiful face and smile. Carlos the assistant manager was cazy about Hazel--a different dancer-- and rated her a 10. If she was younger, then I'd have agreed. Small, in shape, pretty face, a hot latina without the blubber. Because she was about 30, I'd rate her an 8. Carlos also told be that the club had been open for 2 months. It was difficult getting girls for the holidays, but that he expected 20 dancers for the night shift. I didn't see a single fattie on this one visit. Also, I learned that the ownership is the same as that of Pink Pony and Gold Rush. I expect them to be around a good while. I would have had a very nice time, but I can't enjoy myself when dances are $25 min. And, I think there might be additional costs such as couch rental--$25 for a half hour. It was all sort of vague about the prices except that be prepared to spend some $$$. If you're wealthy or don't mind spending, then I think it is definitely worth a visit because hell it is so close to Tootsies that you haven't lost anything, imo, by giving it a try. One thing I very much appreciated on this visit is that I didn't notice any fake tits. Some visits at Tootsies it seemed like that was a requirement. Oh, one other point. The DJ was much less of a pest than at Tootsies. Maybe because it was earlier in the day and later he would morph into a pest?
• Clubber

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  17 years ago

  I have seen that place on a few trips up I-95. I thought it was a women's club. As I recall there was a Crazy Horse in Miami that had male dancers. Perhaps I am incorrect. Now that I know it isn't, I might have given it a try sometime, but since I know what has been said about it, I can see it wouldn't be a worthwhile visit for me. Best go check the club reviews on it before I make a final decision.
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  Hi clubber, My buddy kept insisting that it had male dancers and was for women customers only. As usual he was dead wrong.
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  I think there was a Crazy Horse with male dancers years back, but it didn't have any interest for me. :) The only place with male dancers for women that I'm aware of here locally is Solid Gold------half the club is for women customers, but I'd even know if that is still the case. Generally, women don't have a real interest in seeing good looking men strip on stage. Now, there is a transexual club on 79th that I'd be interested in checking out, but I have a very strong feeling the dancers aren't very attractive.
• gatorjoe2

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  17 years ago

  Thanks Jablake, Great Info, you describe what I picture. And as much as I tried, I don't think I could have ever found that website. While I might try it out, it seems WAY out of price league. It almost seems like they promote it as a non-stop bachelor party kind of place from all the VIP separate rooms for 25+ people. I might check it out one night.
• jablake

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  17 years ago

  Hi gatorjoe2, Well, Shadowcat seems to have found a slice of heaven at his favorite club. The dances there are normally $20, which again that is a little steep for me. But, he has a 2 for 1 dealy worked out and it sounds like everyone is a winner. I'm not that much into negotiation and I knew that I was out of my league. Now, if there was a Shadowcat assisting at that club who was in charge of excellent deals then who knows how much money I may have spent. The hottest woman was a bartender, but she wanted to keep her clothing on. Experiences on different days or nights can be very different depending on the club-----on a different day it may have been easier to get clear dance price information. The assistant manager wanted me to talk with the bouncers or individual dancers. I didn't have much interest in talking with dancers unless I'm willing to buy and talking price upfront (before I've wasted a good amount of her time) just isn't appealing. I need the price information beforehand and then I'll think about negotiations. I did in the past get some good dance prices negotiated at Club Diamonds (haven't bought dances there in years). I wish I could pay everyone full price and more! :)