Clitty Bling: Choking Hazard

Fuck piercings. Good way to chip a tooth.

Not a bling malfunction, but I once had an OTC pass out, naked in my hotel room in Las Vegas. She was definitely intoxicated, high, on something, dehydrated, sleep deprived, and god knows what else. I could not wake her, and literally thought she was dead, or in a coma, thus making a reality out of my worst nightmare. No, I am not into necrophilia, so this was definitely not a good thing. Selfishly, I was more concerned about my reputation and potential liability, so I was not thinking about all the “fun” I could have had with her lifeless body splayed out across the bed. There is a lot more to this story, but all I can say is thank god Clark County Fire & Rescue is somewhat accustomed to this sort of medical emergency and situation.

What is the necrophiliac etiquette?
5-hour rule?
The colder the better?

Fishnet stockings + buttons usually ends badly.

Not sure. But I can assure you in the moment it was a total buzzkill. I was totally panicked - afraid that if this ho dies, someone’s going to definitely want to question me about it! Not to mention I was supposed to be preparing for a presentation I was to be making at a conference the next day (or as it turned out, in a few hours). I needed to get this bitch awake, dressed, and out of my room!

I don't mind nipple bling on-stage, but removing it for kisses/tongue-flicking VIP is mandatory.

My liking for piercings and tattoos is Pavlovian in nature by this time. Girls with lots of piercings and tatts are more likely, in my experience, to like a little, or more than a little, pain to go along with their sex. So yeah, bring 'em on.

I see an odd mix of Weekend at Bernie’s and The Hangover in iknowbetter’s story! I’m glad it ended positively for all involved!