Describe your profession...........................

"I want a new drug, one that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel three-feet thick
I want a new drug, one that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red"

- "I Want a New Drug," Huey Lewis and the News

^ Cacaplop's

"And I said...I said
(what you said baby) let me tell you what I said
Put it in my mouth"

^ That's Akinyele's "Put It in Your Mouth," a command Cacaplop hears a lot during 5th period.

Ha ha - Industrial Disease - Dire Straits:

Now, warning lights are flashing down at quality control
Somebody threw a spanner, they threw him in the hole
There's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town
Somebody blew the whistle, and the walls came down
There's a meetin' in the boardroom, they're tryin' to trace the smell
There's a leakin' in the washroom, there's a sneak-in personnel
Somewhere in the corridors someone was heard to sneeze
Goodness me, could this be industrial disease?

Weird Science by Oingo Bingo

"From my heart and from my hand,
Why don't people understand
My intentions?
(Weird)
(Weird science)"

Chemical engineer here.

I'm the feeling of a millionaire spending a hundred grand
I'm a poor man's dream, a thug poet
Live it and I write down and I watch it blow up

Nas...Nas is like

You serve me, and I'll serve you
Swing your partners, all get screwed
Bring your lawyer, and I'll bring mine
Get together and we could have a bad time

It's affidavit swearing time
Sign it on the dotted line
Hold your bible in your hand
Now all that's left, is to find yourself a new band

We're gonna play the sue me, sue you blues
We're gonna play the sue me, sue you blues

George Harrison - Sue Me, Sue You Blues

I'm a laywer, mostly civil litigation

^^^ So says unverified dumbassscrub, TUSCL's #1 most ignored, the only member with > 100 ignores. 🤭🤡

Not my profession, but my contribution to society:
Who let the dogs out?

Appropriate for a stripper?

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape to where I needed to
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you, oh yeah

Sick of being in my head and thinking about my fate
And worried about my health
Wanna waste away my days with a pretty young thing
And blow through all my wealth
I made some mistakes, not so good with planning
But I got some skills in easy living
Cut my ties with desperation
and learned to live with a little sensation
Hey
Just for the day we'll pretend I'm made of money
I'll be your sugar daddy
Hey
Let's make a fool of ourselves and crash a party
Act like we own the place
Act like we own the place
Swinging back and forth, all my faults are peaking past the surface
Is it worth it to fall back down?
Please make way for the special invented armor
Mental protection if reality is ragin harder
Hello mister mime, hello medicine
I believe denial makes me hella intelligent
We're way too caught up in the race with time
It's getting hard to take it in
We're tryin hard to be the first in line
Just wanna be a kid again, a kid again

^ If those lyrics are too melancholic, then substitute that for “bandz a make her dance” instead

Iceefag:
I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfuckin' P I M P

SJG:
Change my pitch up!
Smack my bitch up!

CJKunt:
I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

Mr Orangefag

These are better pimp lyrics.

Schoolboyq grooveline 2

My fortune said that I'll be pimping you and your pussy juice
Super sweet, sell a trick a treat, hope your lips in shape
Cause you worked your feet as you stroll them streets, beeper checking
Hope no cops arresting, girl, I told you them narcs be pressing
Better act you a pedestrian and don't mention my name
My pimping is game, cold limp with my cane, got gold on my chain
Come pinky my ring, it's so blickety bling
On 51st and Figg, grew up about ten minutes from the real Ricky
Where the shoelaces is orange with H hats like we from Houston
Condoms in hoes' purses with baby wipes for they coochie
You's a ho that's selling booty, no need to be acting bougie
Bitch, I give your ass a noogie and a chicken nugget
And make you watch me at the movies, I'm panoramic
My filming be rated pimping, my mink dragging
With two bitches that go and get it, my hoes get it
Will you sell that pussy for me?
Will you sell that pussy for me? (Will you sell that pussy for me?)

The hi-liter/bourbon street strippers:

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talking 'bout what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So, no, I don't want your number
No, I don't wanna give you mine
And no, I don't wanna meet you nowhere
No, I don't want none of your time
And no, I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

^mashup

(She give me money) Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger
(When I'm in need) But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas
(She give me money) Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger
(When I'm in need) But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas

(I gotta leave) Get down girl, go 'head, get down
(I gotta leave) Get down girl, go 'head, get down
(I gotta leave) Get down girl, go 'head, get down
(I gotta leave) Get down girl, go 'head

Good call Nicespice. Scrubs TLC is a great song. Would tlc be considered hip-hop? They had some great unique stuff.

A sweet romance is not for me
I need electricity
If you want to make me flip
Hit me with a microchip

Diode, cathode, electrode, overload Generator, oscillator
Come on and make a circuit with me

-The Polecats

We all came out to Montreux
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
To make records with a mobile
We didn't have much time
Frank Zappa and the Mothers
Were at the best place around
But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground,
Smoke on the water
A fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
But burning down
They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound
Funky Claude was running in and out
He was pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
Swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race, now
Smoke on the water
A fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
We ended up at the Grand Hotel
It was empty cold and bare
With the Rolling truck Stones thing just outside
Making our music there
Few red lights and a few old beds
We made a place to sweat
No matter what we get out of this
I know, I know we'll never forget,
Smoke on the water
A fire in the sky
Smoke on the water

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more

Well, I try my best to be just like I am
But everybody wants you to be just like them
They say "Sing while you slave" and I just get bored
Ah, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more

I know when you're out
I know when you're in
I know where you come from
I know where you've been

I know when you're up
I know when you're down
I know when you're in
Baby or out on the town

I spy for the F.B.I.
(I spy for the F.B.I.)
Let me tell you now
I spy baby for the F.B.I.
(I spy for the F.B.I.)



--No, no, not a narc, but I searched and searched and searched different phrases to find something remotely descriptive of what I do, and finally came across this from somebody called Jano Thomas way way way back in the old days (the 60s!!!). And ho-ly shit. The verse part of that pretty accurately describes how I spend half my day. Person I was looking at yesterday...I knew when she was in the U.S., knew she'd gone to Morocco, knew when she was in Nairobi and Tanzania, and knew when she was partying in Medellin. Thanks, Patriot Act!

I piss off boomers for a living

I want it all and I want it now!!!

Don't get mad at me bro. Your generation made that song up and it fits you well.

You didn't get it all, but I got it all! I get to occupy the space in your head for free... Bodum tshhhh

What's a 3-letter word for a cowboy? F a g.

It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job
But he wants to be a.....

Clowns to the left of me!
Jokers to the right!
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.

Welcome to the hotel California,
Such a lovely place, ...

"What's a 3-letter word for a cowboy? F a g."

Wow skibum609! You have a vivid imagination! That is not what I meant by living in your head rent free. You must be having daydreams about cock in your mouth.
Sorry, I don't swing that way. Maybe some other dude can help you out there