Jokes that Strippers don't always get right away.
herbtcat
After 4 decades of hanging out in Strip Clubs all over world, I've become used to the typical conversation starters used by dancers who want to chat with me. Two of the most used questions I get is:
"How often do you come here?" A reasonable question probably motivated by her desire to know if I'm a regular, local or on-travel type of customer.
"What do you do for a living?" Also reasonable, and probably a good way for her to judge if I have enough cash to merit her attention.
These types of questions are almost automated: I almost always get these within 10-20 seconds of her asking to sit with me. It's like asking "how are you?" to an acquaintance. It's an ice breaker and everyone generally has an auto-answer: "I'm fine, thanks." You don't really care how they are doing, you just ask to be polite, right?
But being The Cat that I am, I don't use the standard or expected replies. Instead, I toss out (what I think are) clever replies and jokes. Since dancers are often not really listening to my replies, some need a moment to rethink what they just heard.
Here's some of the replies I use:
"How often do you come here?"
- "I'd say about 3 out of 5 times."
"What do you do for a living?"
- "I write Gentlemen's Club reviews for a major Men's Health magazine."
It's really funny to me to see a dancer start to reply, then stop, rewind the tape in her head, then say "Huh?"
So what your best jokes/replies that need time to percolate?
"How often do you come here?" A reasonable question probably motivated by her desire to know if I'm a regular, local or on-travel type of customer.
"What do you do for a living?" Also reasonable, and probably a good way for her to judge if I have enough cash to merit her attention.
These types of questions are almost automated: I almost always get these within 10-20 seconds of her asking to sit with me. It's like asking "how are you?" to an acquaintance. It's an ice breaker and everyone generally has an auto-answer: "I'm fine, thanks." You don't really care how they are doing, you just ask to be polite, right?
But being The Cat that I am, I don't use the standard or expected replies. Instead, I toss out (what I think are) clever replies and jokes. Since dancers are often not really listening to my replies, some need a moment to rethink what they just heard.
Here's some of the replies I use:
"How often do you come here?"
- "I'd say about 3 out of 5 times."
"What do you do for a living?"
- "I write Gentlemen's Club reviews for a major Men's Health magazine."
It's really funny to me to see a dancer start to reply, then stop, rewind the tape in her head, then say "Huh?"
So what your best jokes/replies that need time to percolate?
Comments
last commentMe: I'm from the future. That's how I know you're gonna blow me in a few minutes.
A: Gynecologist in training (sometimes provokes a laugh)
Q: What brings you in to the club?
A: I like naked women.
Dancer: You’re tall! How tall are you?
Me: I’m 6’4” when I’m standing - but I’m a few inches taller laying on my back.
People have differing ideas about what's funny, especially if there's a 20 year or more age difference.
Important to remember that, in many if not most cases, strippers think we're goofs. It's hard to laugh at someone's jokes when you're suppressing the urge to laugh at them for existing.
Btw, as someone who is full of quips at the club, I very much appreciate all you quippy fellows out there... keep it up- some of us get the jokes! 💋🔆😘
Her: Hi, what's your name. I'm Buttercup.
Me: Hi, I'm Westley.
She didn't get it.
Me: When I danced my stage name was Monster.
It doesn't work if you are wearing a mask, she won't see your sarcastic smirk.
Or