Jokes that Strippers don't always get right away.
After 4 decades of hanging out in Strip Clubs all over world, I've become used to the typical conversation starters used by dancers who want to chat with me. Two of the most used questions I get is:
"How often do you come here?" A reasonable question probably motivated by her desire to know if I'm a regular, local or on-travel type of customer.
"What do you do for a living?" Also reasonable, and probably a good way for her to judge if I have enough cash to merit her attention.
These types of questions are almost automated: I almost always get these within 10-20 seconds of her asking to sit with me. It's like asking "how are you?" to an acquaintance. It's an ice breaker and everyone generally has an auto-answer: "I'm fine, thanks." You don't really care how they are doing, you just ask to be polite, right?
But being The Cat that I am, I don't use the standard or expected replies. Instead, I toss out (what I think are) clever replies and jokes. Since dancers are often not really listening to my replies, some need a moment to rethink what they just heard.
Here's some of the replies I use:
"How often do you come here?"
- "I'd say about 3 out of 5 times."
"What do you do for a living?"
- "I write Gentlemen's Club reviews for a major Men's Health magazine."
It's really funny to me to see a dancer start to reply, then stop, rewind the tape in her head, then say "Huh?"
So what your best jokes/replies that need time to percolate?
Comments
last commentHer: Where you from?
Me: I'm from the future. That's how I know you're gonna blow me in a few minutes.
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I'm still waiting for the big laughs after I said Icey should be exiled to Greenland.
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Q: What do you do?
A: Gynecologist in training (sometimes provokes a laugh)
Q: What brings you in to the club?
A: I like naked women.
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Whenever I met a Mercedes or Porsche, I introduce myself as Ford.
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I’ve not tried this yet - but Papi’s comment the other day might be one that dancers miss.
Dancer: You’re tall! How tall are you?
Me: I’m 6’4” when I’m standing - but I’m a few inches taller laying on my back.
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The questions she's asking you she's probably asked customers thousands of times. Are your answers so unique that she hasn't heard them already many times?
People have differing ideas about what's funny, especially if there's a 20 year or more age difference.
Important to remember that, in many if not most cases, strippers think we're goofs. It's hard to laugh at someone's jokes when you're suppressing the urge to laugh at them for existing.
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Good answers! If a dancer is on her phone I ask if she is sending me dirty text messages again
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When I meet a dancer named Naomi I acknowledge that many guys like that name because spelled backwards it's "I Moan". Then, I tell her that I'm looking for Lana.
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When they ask my name, I will give them my name and sometimes add that my stripper name is Thor. More than a few have locked up trying to figure out which is my real name, which is my fake name and which to call me. A couple thought I wanted to call them Thor. One thought I was a former male stripper (which was hilarious because I shop at Big and Tall). Another told me her real name and said we were not supposed to tell people our real names. Finally, one asked if I used Thor because another guy in the club was using my real name.
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^ Omg! Too funny! This is what I call guys who won't give me a name or have to think too long to come up with a fake one... been a while since I've called anyone Thor, but it's still my go-to! 😁
Btw, as someone who is full of quips at the club, I very much appreciate all you quippy fellows out there... keep it up- some of us get the jokes! 💋🔆😘
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I had a dancer once come out of the dressing room, see me, and introduce herself:
Her: Hi, what's your name. I'm Buttercup.
Me: Hi, I'm Westley.
She didn't get it.
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^ Next time try Dead Pirate Roberts.
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Three strippers walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks
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Her: What's you're name?
Me: When I danced my stage name was Monster.
It doesn't work if you are wearing a mask, she won't see your sarcastic smirk.
Or
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