tuscl

Desolate, Rural Strip Clubs

Tuesday, February 8, 2022 11:28 PM
I was checking today some of Sinclair's reviews of some South Dakota strip clubs and did a google maps view of them. The other day I did the same for a Nicespice reviewed called the Prairie Chicken Bar & Resort also in South Dakota. Whoo boy are those out there. Me personally, I don't usually hit these types of spots. I mostly stick to in and around the big metropolitan areas of America. It's just hard for me to envision a strip club waaaay out in the fucking boonies assembling some great lineup of girls. It's difficult enough to do in the biggest cities in America let alone out in the woods somewhere. One experience I do have was coming back from Roswell, New Mexico and right outside of a town called Artesia. (Small town but it has the border patrol training academy there) Any way there was some random club on the side of the highway before I drove for hours of desert and nothingness. There is fucking nothing out here. NOTHING. Anyway the club wasn't awful, not many dancers but the ones that were there were good looking. I guess when your the only option for HUNDREDS of miles you might get some alright looking girls coming through. My question is what are some of your experiences in rural clubs? Whether it be passing through or hell maybe you guys even live out in the middle nowhere can you help us with what the strip clubs are like near you.

46 comments

  • skibum609
    2 years ago
    Check out my review of Hour Place, in rural northern Maine. Another one is due as I went last weekend again.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    Evanston Wyoming. Trashy. Lots of oil field workers. Crude terrible crowd and red neck birches and Mormon girls hiding out. Wendover. Stripper hoes catering to horny Mormons from utah
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    Artesia is like 40 miles from roswell but a lot worse.
  • mike710
    2 years ago
    A few months back I went to a club in Rock Springs WY. It wasn't in the middle of nowhere as there was a small town around the club, but WY is mostly rural. I went in around happy hour before finding a spot for dinner. I initially drove by because there was a couple of Harleys parked outside and a couple of bikers smoking out front. I drove by and said, "fuck it", and parked around the corner to go in. There were a bunch of dancers and patrons milling around the bar and a pool table. I walked straight to the bar and sat in a space where there were a couple of drinks on the bar to the left and a series of empty stools. As luck would have it, the smoking bikers walked in and sat next to me. As time went by some girls got on stage, there were around 5 or 6, and it seems one different regular would go up to each girl and sit at the bar and tip each girl. The whole vibe of the place was that this was a regular's bar. One of the bikers was plastered and eventually got aggressive with everyone in the bar. He bought me a beer and when I said "thank you" he said "because I said so". I guess he thought I asked why he was buying me a beer. They kept serving him and he took a $500 cash advance on a credit card so, after that beer, I thought it might be time to go find a spot to eat. Overall, the place wasn't bad but one drunk biker was blowing the atmosphere. Even his biker buddy eventually said they should stop serving him. In general, small-town bars are all about locals and regulars. I've had everyone stop talking when I walked into a small bar in LaCrosse WI. Eventually, I talked about my business in town to the bartender and everyone opened up a bit more. I've never had a problem with biker types as they usually keep to themselves just like I do.
  • Warrior15
    2 years ago
    About halfway between Memphis and Nashville, there was an Exit off the Interstate that had a couple of truck stops there. There was a club with a bright sign in between the two Stops. I was in Memphis for the day and driving back to Nashville. I stopped in to check it out. I saw two dancers, both with lots of tattoos, piercings and extra weight. I drank about half my beer and left before either had a chance to come talk to me. The truck stops are still there but the club closed years ago.
  • san_jose_guy
    2 years ago
    some of these places have always looked interesting, iffy: [view link] I think Juice now is buying up a lot of these clubs. SJG 70s Electric Miles Davis Mix (Jazz, Jazz Funk, Jazz Rock, Fusion..) [view link]
  • misterorange
    2 years ago
    Back in the late 80's I was in National Guard and ended up spending two weeks at Fort Dix, NJ. It was for some specialized training, so I wasn't with the rest of my unit. It was mostly classroom stuff and I had almost every night off which, of course, I spent clubbing. One spot was in the town, two blocks from the main gate, a non-extras bikini bar. It got boring pretty quick after 2 or 3 nights in a row, so I decided to seek out something else. No internet or GPS back then. Believe it or not, I looked up a place in the Yellow Pages and used a fold-out paper map to locate it. Was maybe half an hour away. Damn, I lived in Jersey my entire life and never knew there were redneck areas like this. Can't remember the name of the place - I'm sure it's not there anymore. Deep in the woods and man it was full of local yokels, real hillbillies. There were maybe a dozen customers and six or so girls working. Wouldn't say they were terrible, but mostly sub-par. I sit down next to some dirty-looking fat slob at the bar and he immediately starts talking... more like grunting. Clearly he's a regular here so I'm polite, but giving short answers and avoiding eye contact so as not to encourage him. Eventually he points out one of the dancers that was a little overweight but decent face and big titties, 30-ish, and I just kind of nodded approval like yeah okay, wishing he would just shut the fuck up already. Then the conversation goes like this: Him (grunting): You go 30? Me: What? Him: 30 dollars. Me: For what? Him: Whatever you want. Me: Really? With her? Him: Heh, heh, yeah buddy. Get some. He signals her over and he's like, "Yeah, yeah," half laughing and half grunting. She smiles and says I should meet her over by the Men's room. I'm thinking bathroom stall sex? Wasn't crazy about that idea. But instead she took me in a closet. Not a lap dance booth, I'm talking about a closet with a fucking mop bucket and other cleaning supplies which, from the looks of the place, hadn't been used in years. Well, like the big guy said, I got "whatever I wanted" and then some, without any set time limit. It occurred to me that the dirty slob must know about this special service from his own personal experience, which grossed me out a little, but thought I should probably buy him a beer for helping set it up. When we were done fucking, she took the condom off me, SUCKED my dick clean, and then dried it off with some rag that quite possibly could have been used for the same purpose several times before. When I went to give her the money she says, "Oh, you give it to Billy." And I'm like, "Who's Billy?" And she says, "The guy you were sitting with... that's Billy, he's my husband!" Now with this knowledge I really didn't want to see that guy again, but I went over and handed him $40 and told him to keep the change. He grunted something like, "Heh heh, okay." Decided not to stick around for that beer, it was just too awkward and creepy.
  • Papi_Chulo
    2 years ago
    ^ now *that* is a SC story - LOL
  • shadowcat
    2 years ago
    I haven't been to one since the 70's but the legal brothels in Nevada are all out in the boon docks. Here are maps to the current ones. [view link]
  • drewcareypnw
    2 years ago
    MrO for the win.
  • Muddy
    2 years ago
    @ski yeah that's one is really tucked off in the sticks. I can't ever see me just passing through a place like that. But hey maybe I'll do a Maine trip one of these days. I think's it's underrated state at least physically especially coastal Maine. Places like that where do these girls even come from to work there, how many girls live in commuting distance? Must be living with Paul Bunyan or some shit. @MisterOrange What in tarnation And some of these spots they really got you by the balls. Like those South Dakota clubs. 60 dollars for a dance! $60! Is Barbara Streisand gonna jerk me off too?
  • jackslash
    2 years ago
    In the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is Big Bon's Strip Dance Club. It is over 400 miles from Detroit. I have not visited the club (and never intend to visit), but it was reviewed by a TUSCL friend a number of years ago. [view link]
  • rickdugan
    2 years ago
    I've hit a handful of these over the years. They were almost uniformly bland experiences. The people were friendly enough, but they always seem a little paranoid about getting in trouble, no doubt because everyone from local/county LE to nearby church groups are all keeping tabs on them. Also the girls have nowhere else to dance nearby if they get fired, which just adds to their caution. Give me a small city club any day over one in the sticks.
  • skibum609
    2 years ago
    MUDDY - Portland is only 90 miles away so most come from there. $10 nude dances - yessir!!!!~
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    How rural and desolate is the east coast though? All the towns are close to each other.
  • twentyfive
    2 years ago
    ^ that’s about as stupid a statement as any you ever made, that’s going quite a distance. Herd to believe how ignorant you really are.
  • eyeofodin
    2 years ago
    35 year ago maybe longer, ran across a "club" in rural mountains of WV and had to stop. A road side run down three store front single story building. Upon entering was told it was a byob place and if i wanted any thing but soft drinks I could go next door to the package store. The other store front was a gun and fishing shop that doubled as the local jail and the owner of all three places was the chief of police (btw the only officer in the town). Opted for just a soda since I still had an hour plus to get to my final destination. Dances were $7 a piece and all I had on me was on $20 and a few $50's. The bar could not break a $50 for the soda so I spent the $20. Sat at the tip rail and blew the balance of the change. Old and not too attractive hill lady folk dancing until a young supple one came on stage. Chatted her up and decided to get a dance or more... knowing that if the bar could not break a $50 neither could she. Got a few dances and gave her the bill -- of course I cannot make change because we don't see many bills this big in here, BUT here is where the evening got weird. Turns out two of the other dancers were her Mother and Grandmother and all three would put on a show for the change. I left feeling disturbed and knowing I'd have a good story to tell at some point in my life. Seems now is the time to tell it.
  • skibum609
    2 years ago
    Wow Icey too stupid to even google.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    It's not desolate or rural compared to the west coast...
  • Papi_Chulo
    2 years ago
    Only rural strip club I’ve been to was back in 2019 when I was doing a SC roadtrip from Miami and SCed in Cocoa Beach and then Jacksonville. Since I was close to the Georgia line I reconned a small-black-dive called Tru Playas just outside of Midway, GA – it was in what seemed like an abandoned-farm and about a 1/4 mile from the road via a narrow-gravel-path and the “club” was in what seemed like an old farmhouse with a makeshift “bar” where if I remember correctly the bartender was getting drinks (mainly beer) from a refrigerator like one would have in a house. The “club” was only open on Fridays and Saturdays and it was def a lowrent operation and felt more like a houseparty someone threw together – I had some girls grind on me for a few seconds for some $1s but didn’t get any real dances nor did it seems like anyone else was other than tipping-$1s for some grinding or butt-shaking in front of you – needless to say I was not impressed w/ the operation nor the talent (and I'm not a hard-grader by any means) and it was a waste of time - only upside is that the people seemed nice and humble typical of rural areas.
  • twentyfive
    2 years ago
    Iceefag doubling down on stupid !
  • skibum609
    2 years ago
    You are so stupid its beyond belief Icey. In fact, the most rural state in the nation is Vermont, you L.A. semen swallowing faggot.
  • san_jose_guy
    2 years ago
    ^^^^ Wyoming has the lowest population, and the lowest population density. Vermont has the second lowest population. SJG
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    Skibum I know how eastern Massachusetts is rural and conservative. I lived in Boston for a year. And I know about Vermont. But all that is different from say between la and vegas. Or Wyoming. Utah. Even nebraska. When you're out west. Anything east feels cramped. Like NYC gives me claustrophobia
  • shadowcat
    2 years ago
    This should resolve the argument: [view link].
  • san_jose_guy
    2 years ago
    Thanks shadow. SJG
  • nicespice
    2 years ago
    If my dog and I had better cold tolerance and I had less fear of Icey roads, I’d have loved to have tried the most northern part of Wisconsin and the rural clubs that cater to snowmobilers out there. But instead during winter I choose cheap civilization (except for gas..why is gas so expensive out there!?) and warm weather and good hookah lounges and $10 lapdances and vip dance areas that are cheap and not camera monitored. Is the trade off with it? Yeah probably lol And as for rural environments…would LOVE to try out that Fuzzy Holes club one that apparently always has Halloween decorations. I forget if it was in Tennessee or Kentucky or something…? Also that club that is a renovated school house in Neoga IL because that just seems cool. And with regards to South Dakota, yeah it’s nice being able to make $$$ there without being a 10 or working too hard, not sorry about that at all.
  • twentyfive
    2 years ago
    If Iceefag actually knew anything, NY is a highly populated state, yet western N.Y. state is desolate as any states on the west coast, and Vermont, Maine. and New Hampshire , have large empty spaces between cities, in the south Georgia, North and South Carolina have vast distances between towns, and my home state of Florida has huge open spaces in the center odf the state where you are driving hours between civilization and wild un touched areas. This is a perfect example of an idiot just making up shit out of his ass with no knowledge of what these places are like at all.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    What are Alabama and Mississippi like? Are yhe stripper hoesbwhite or black? How about the food?
  • san_jose_guy
    2 years ago
    When I am in the South East, I will only be dealing with blacks. SJG
  • bkkruined
    2 years ago
    As "desolate" as you might think you're little outa the way corner of Maine of Vermont is.... It might as well be a NYC suburb compared to shit in South Dakota. Or worse, next state over, Wyoming... And there's oil in South Dakota. Lots of guys there in that industry. Making good money. And if they have a girlfriend, they are home, a state, two states, maybe three states away... So the only thing around is oil well and single guys making lots of money working on them.... Why would anyone open a strip club in a place like that?
  • gammanu95
    2 years ago
    To bkk's point: yeah, the roustabouts in Dakota oil wells were making money hand over fist, they were pocketing surprisingly little discretionary income. Housing, groceries, other basics and necessities were also jacked way up by landlords and stores to match the demand- and that was before Brandon's inflation. Lap dancers and hookers also hiked their prices way up to match the increased cost they experience for that area. A lot of that has subsided since OPEC increased output (and wrecked American oil sands production) and Biden killed the Keystone XL pipeline and made America dependent on foreign oil again. Now, between what increased costs remain, the high unemployment left by bad government energy policy, and the scarcity of women- I don't know that opening a SC there would be a very profitable venture.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    2 years ago
    Gammanu supports price gouging except for strip clubs. Evanston Wyoming is an oil town and dirt cheap
  • gammanu95
    2 years ago
    I thought Showgirls in Plant City was about as off the beaten path as you can get in FL, but it has a shit ton of reviews, so I guess not.
  • ilbbaicnl
    2 years ago
    This place was pretty desolate and rural: [view link]
  • ilbbaicnl
    2 years ago
    If you seriously desolate and rural, forget strippers, you want anal sex with Ned Beatty, and you want some of Jon Voight's purdy mouth.
  • Cashman1234
    2 years ago
    I get uncomfortable when I get farther away from NYC. I’ve lived within about a 25 mile distance from the city most of my life. It doesn’t take long for me to start to feel uncomfortable when I head west. I’ve never been to a strip club in a true rural or desolate area. From what folks have commented, they sound very interesting, and they could be fun, if they aren’t a locals only type of vibe.
  • mark94
    2 years ago
    I’m reminded of a story I read in “Going to extremes”, a book about building the Alaska pipeline. Hookers would take snow mobiles from work camp to work camp in the middle of nowhere. These guys hadn’t seen another woman for months. It would take 2 pumps before they came.
  • Huntsman
    2 years ago
    I embody desolate and rural so I get to those clubs from time to time. They tend to be more low key and independent so I find them more interesting and unique. But that’s their main attraction….something different than the same old, same old.
  • trpterp
    2 years ago
    Not quite sure if Lil Vegas in Monongah/Fairmont WV counts. I'll defer to Sinclair on this, since he has been there. It is the most rural club I've ever hit. It is definitely a locals place. By happenstance I was wearing one of my Harley t-shirts that night, so I fit right right in...lol.
  • Cashman1234
    2 years ago
    mark94 that was smart for those hookers. It was likely quick and messy - but those guys were making great money too! My uncle went to work on the pipeline in the 1970’s. He was from Newark, and he was away from the family for a few years. When he returned, they moved to a big house outside of San Francisco.
  • skibum609
    2 years ago
    We've driven hundreds of thousands of miles out west so yes, the west is more rural - but according the the US gubmint - rural is defined as communities of 2500 or less people and the most rural state under that determination is Vermont as the largest city has less than 40,000 ppl. Wyoming is more sparsely populated, but 80% of the population lives in communities over 2500. Haven't been to south Dakota, north Dakota Montana or Wyoming in a year, but will be driving through there Sunday since they have better snow than Colorado.
  • crosscheck
    2 years ago
    The closest I've ever come, was the White River Amusement Pub (WRAP) in White River Junction, VT in the early 2000s. I recall the locals there not being particularly welcoming to 3 out of towners from the Boston area in their early to mid 20s and we weren't there long. The building was destroyed in a fire a couple of years or so later, so apparently the WRAP really wasn't there long either.
  • magicrat
    2 years ago
    Nice, There is a place called Fuzzy Holes in Johnson City, TN outside of Knoxville. I heard it had changed owners and also it's name to Mouse's Ear.
  • Muddy
    2 years ago
    And the club I was referring to in the OP was called 285 Show Club.
  • rickdugan
    2 years ago
    ===>"As "desolate" as you might think you're little outa the way corner of Maine of Vermont is.... It might as well be a NYC suburb compared to shit in South Dakota. Or worse, next state over, Wyoming..." I have to agree with bkk here. Also things are very culturally different in the woodsy areas of the northeast than they are in the Midwest, south, etc. Being in a remote club in the fields of KS or East Bumfuck AL is not remotely the same experience as visiting one in NY or New England, with those much more liberal influences.
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