Once was enough for me. I was recently told by a former Follies bouncer that another former Follies bouncer had been married to 9 different dancers. BS? Another dancer source said that she knew he had been married quite a few times but didn't know the exact number.
I never really had that strong urge to get married; part of it was me, and I guess part of it was that my parents’ marriage didn’t look like a particularly happy one.
Growing up I assumed I’d fall-in-love and get-married and have kids b/c that’s what everyone around me did – but the older I got the more marriage seemed like something I had/was-supposed to-do vs something I really wanted.
In my mid-20s friends started getting married and their new lifestyle is not something that appealed to me – most of them was where both the guy and the girl were whitecollar professionals getting started in their careers and working long-hours and it seemed even more complicated when they had kids and had to arrange for childcare and be running around picking up the kid(s) after work; etc – not the lifestyle that appealed to me especially as I got older and I got more iffy about marriage.
By age 30 I had kinda made up my mind that I didn’t wanna get married – luckily, if it can be described that way, this is around the time I discovered good SCs which made it easier being single in that o/w I may have gotten married just to have regular access to a woman.
I def don’t have anything against marriage and I believe it's a good thing for most people and IMO the best way to bring up kids; but I never felt it was for me – today I’m 52 and I still feel it was the best decision for me personally. I'd say about 90% of my friends that got married in their 20s ended up getting divorced and most getting remarried.
I got married to a woman who at age 62 last weekend was willing to drive with me through a nor' easter to far Northern Maine to ski in the Blizzard in -2 weather with a 45 mph wind for 4 hours while it snowed 11". None of my male friends ever would.
Divorced once. Widowed once. Both women were cool with me going to strip clubs. I always told my wife where I was going. We agreed to certain rules, and I always stuck to them. My second wife occasionally joined me. we had some fun times and amazing adventures.
we divorced after my first wife went back to using drugs. I did not know she was a recovered addict when we married.
Legally? Only once. My first union took place when I was underage in a foreign country. Then I was still married to my 2nd husband when I married my third husband (purely transactional union) And since my second husband divorced me en Absentia a few years ago….
Currently engaged to a wonderful man that I adore.
Only once when quite young. Wouldn't recommend it. To Papi's point, I seldom - actually, never - have seen a marriage where I would want to change places with the guy. Just never. SCs certainly have helped fill in the gaps... so to speak... ;)
Anyway, I do like female companionship, so I've had a lot of ebb-and-flow through the years. I'm currently flowing with SCs, and don't know at this point (mid-60s) whether I'll ever even ebb again. Mostly, I just want to liberate some of my male acquaintances from their horrible relationships. It's worth losing half of what you own to gain your full agency of self.
Still on my first. If we ever split up the only way I'm remarrying would be a woman who checked 100 boxes and probably doesn't exist. Even cohabitating is unlikely.
0 but some strippers in my past made me feel like I was in a forever relationship. Seems kind of amusing in hindsite one stripper was so upset with me for no valid reason that she quit working one club just because she knew I would be there but one of her dancer friends couldn't resist giving me updates on her. I think my days of getting into unexpected relationships with strippers are over.
I do not understand people who get married three times or more. I can understand making a mistake your first time, most endeavors -of any sort- are not successful on the first attempt. If you fail a second time, you should really consider alternatives (obviously, there are exceptions to every generalization). Marriage is a huge undertaking that affects every facet of your life and requires huge sacrifices and commitments. You have to be a special kind of ignoramus, sadist, or masochist to get married three or more times.
once was enough.
(but I might be convinced to do it again IF she’s a rich beautiful woman that doesn’t mind me having sex with other beautiful women...)
Just once, about thirty years ago. That was the period in my life I was in the worst health because my wife had a bunch of bad health habits. I adopted her diet, since she cooked, and exercise habits. I also got a lot of her secondhand smoke since she was a chain smoker. I had a drastic improvement in my health after the divorce, while her health deteriorated so much she eventually became an invalid who could no longer work.
I like female company but have an introverted personality and don't like the idea of having someone living with me and being constantly around. This is even more true now that I'm in my sixties and most women my age have lost any sexual attractiveness they might have once had. Most women my age want to move in the direction of living together. When I do a cost-benefit analysis, going to a strip club weekly and spending time with a pretty and friendly stripper comes out ahead of that.
“… I do not understand people who get married three times or more. I can understand making a mistake your first time, most endeavors -of any sort- are not successful on the first attempt …”
It’s not always that the person getting married 3 or more times is making a mistake – it’s often the other person making the mistake of marring this person – if you get married 3+ times it’s usually not the other person(s), it’s usually you. There are people out there that like to mooch off of other people and get married for what the other person can do for them vs what they can do/offer the other person (these are often people that are takers and hardly ever givers).
^ There can be unfortunate circumstances as well, it's unusual, but not unheard of for, a spouse to pass on at a young age, and the surviving spouse is lonely and remarries someone that isn't a good match, so they get a divorce, at a later date the surviving spouse being in a smarter frame of mind meets and marries someone, who is a good match.
Marriage in our Classist Society, a combination of “educational” attainment, income and occupational prestige (celebrity status), is an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.
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I never really had that strong urge to get married; part of it was me, and I guess part of it was that my parents’ marriage didn’t look like a particularly happy one.
Growing up I assumed I’d fall-in-love and get-married and have kids b/c that’s what everyone around me did – but the older I got the more marriage seemed like something I had/was-supposed to-do vs something I really wanted.
In my mid-20s friends started getting married and their new lifestyle is not something that appealed to me – most of them was where both the guy and the girl were whitecollar professionals getting started in their careers and working long-hours and it seemed even more complicated when they had kids and had to arrange for childcare and be running around picking up the kid(s) after work; etc – not the lifestyle that appealed to me especially as I got older and I got more iffy about marriage.
By age 30 I had kinda made up my mind that I didn’t wanna get married – luckily, if it can be described that way, this is around the time I discovered good SCs which made it easier being single in that o/w I may have gotten married just to have regular access to a woman.
I def don’t have anything against marriage and I believe it's a good thing for most people and IMO the best way to bring up kids; but I never felt it was for me – today I’m 52 and I still feel it was the best decision for me personally. I'd say about 90% of my friends that got married in their 20s ended up getting divorced and most getting remarried.
we divorced after my first wife went back to using drugs. I did not know she was a recovered addict when we married.
My second wife I lost to illness.
a third marriage is unlikely
Currently engaged to a wonderful man that I adore.
Anyway, I do like female companionship, so I've had a lot of ebb-and-flow through the years. I'm currently flowing with SCs, and don't know at this point (mid-60s) whether I'll ever even ebb again. Mostly, I just want to liberate some of my male acquaintances from their horrible relationships. It's worth losing half of what you own to gain your full agency of self.
There has to be some better way!
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=4729…
SJG
(but I might be convinced to do it again IF she’s a rich beautiful woman that doesn’t mind me having sex with other beautiful women...)
Tempest - your fiancé is a very fortunate man!
I like female company but have an introverted personality and don't like the idea of having someone living with me and being constantly around. This is even more true now that I'm in my sixties and most women my age have lost any sexual attractiveness they might have once had. Most women my age want to move in the direction of living together. When I do a cost-benefit analysis, going to a strip club weekly and spending time with a pretty and friendly stripper comes out ahead of that.
Still married today.
It’s not always that the person getting married 3 or more times is making a mistake – it’s often the other person making the mistake of marring this person – if you get married 3+ times it’s usually not the other person(s), it’s usually you. There are people out there that like to mooch off of other people and get married for what the other person can do for them vs what they can do/offer the other person (these are often people that are takers and hardly ever givers).