Sex is easy to get and women are easy. But its like when you're a bad boy they love that. But when you start treating them with love and respect they get scared almost.
I have 2 girls I've treated like sex objects and ignored. One for 2 years one for months. And as soon as I texted them they were all over me. As are girls I make it obvious I just want to fuck them. But then with a girl I've treated like a queen it's so hard.
Do you give up on someone so damaged? It's hard.
Like have you ever been ghosted and they give you their new number just to tell you not to use it?
“Women want Bad Boys to be Good for them;
and Men want Good Girls to be Bad for them.”
In evolutionary sense women want it all—an healthy attractive, masculine man (good genes), who also cares, has resources to share, and will take care of kids too (good provider).
Basically women want a protective provider, by instinct and evolutionary, survival reasons.
However in today complicated modern society full of mixed, conflicting messages and denial; sometimes, some women get confused and end up with a violent abuser, master manipulator.
You reminded me of the following centuries old poem, that was written for men by a woman.
“Hombres necios que acusáis
a la mujer sin razón
sin ver que sois la ocasión
de lo mismo que culpáis:
si con ansia sin igual
solicitáis su desdén
¿por qué queréis que obren bien
si las incitáis al mal?
Combatís su resistencia
y luego, con gravedad,
decís que fue liviandad
lo que hizo la diligencia.
Parecer quiere el denuedo
de vuestro parecer loco
al niño que pone el coco
y luego le tiene miedo.
Queréis, con presunción necia,
hallar a la que buscáis,
para pretendida, Thais,
y en la posesión, Lucrecia.
¿Qué humor puede ser más raro
que el que, falto de consejo,
él mismo empaña el espejo
y siente que no esté claro?
Con el favor y el desdén
tenéis condición igual,
quejándoos, si os tratan mal,
burlándoos, si os quieren bien.
Opinión, ninguna gana;
pues la que más se recata,
si no os admite, es ingrata,
y si os admire, es liviana.
Siempre tan necios andáis
que, con desigual nivel,
a una culpáis por crüel
y otra por fácil culpáis.
¿Pues cómo ha de estar templada
la que vuestro amor pretende
si la que es ingrata, ofende,
y la que es fácil, enfada?
Mas, entre el enfado y pena
que vuestro gusto refiere,
bien haya la que no os quiere
y quejáos en hora buena.
Dan vuestras amantes penas
a sus libertades alas,
y después de hacerlas malas
las queréis hallar muy buenas.
¿Cuál mayor culpa ha tenido
en una pasión errada:
la que cae de rogada,
o el que ruega de caído?
¿O cuál es más de culpar,
aunque cualquiera mal haga:
la que peca por la paga,
o el que paga por pecar?
Pues ¿para qué os espantáis
de la culpa que tenéis?
Queredlas cual las hacéis
o hacedlas cual las buscáis.
Dejad de solicitar,
y después, con más razón,
acusaréis la afición
de la que os fuere a rogar.
Bien con muchas armas fundo
que lidia vuestra arrogancia,
pues en promesa e instancia
juntáis diablo, carne y mundo.”
~ “Hombres Necios que acusáis”
~ (“Foolish Men who accuse”)
~ By Sor Juan Inéz de la Cruz
~ Born 12 November 1648
~ Died 17 April 1695
You can find translations/interpretations here if you need them
Um, don’t act like y’all never overlooked or walked all over the nice girls. You know the basic, homely looking ones that will do anything for you but her looks don’t add up
It’s not just a woman thing. And now we have these woh is me men aka incels, mad because they don’t want to date on their level, keep getting rejected by 7-10’s. But still can’t face the reality that dating would be easier if they choose people in their lane.
And don’t worry as a fairly attractive woman I’ve had to hit my glass ceiling of reality as well but by reading some of these discussions I know that men suffer from chasing delusions too
Almost every single car in a strip club parking lot should have a bumper sticker reading: "Pickier than I deserve to be."
Women don't hold a monopoly on being gluttons for punishment. I know guys my age who repeatedly date/marry women who are some degree of younger and/or out of their league. They get these younger, hotter women via offering stability (financial or otherwise), but that stability is predominantly attractive only to women who have no stability of their own. Meaning, these women are usually train wrecks driven by neediness and desperation rather than genuine attraction. Not surprisingly, this almost always ends in an ugly divorce or breakup, because many train-wreck humans can't be fixed.
One friend of mine just exited his third mushroom-cloud divorce resulting from marrying a hot, young mess. I told him that he either needs to date people who don't need his support/help to fix their lives, which means he probably won't date younger hot women. Because hot, young women who have their shit together don't need or want to date middle-aged guys who are moderately wealthy. Alternately, I told him that he should look at some combination of sugaring, strippers, or escorts, because he can scratch that itch and then exit those relationships with greater ease.
Anyway, many guys also go at toxic people like a moth to a flame.
I married a plain, average woman, because I am plain and average. I would say about 98% of our days together in the last 31+ have been very good to great. She's not the hottest, just the best person I ever met.
Women who are on birth control don’t ovulate because the drugs they’re on trick their body into thinking they’re pregnant. When a women is pregnant she craves protection hence the “bad boy” image resonates. Since young girls haven’t had time to figure this out, they fall for bad boys since their brain tells them they should if the birth control they’re on is telling them they’re pregnant. It’s fucked up, which is why women need to check their birth control. Once again ICEYLOCO has found another way to take advantage of drugged up strippers!
===> "And now we have these woh is me men aka incels, mad because they don’t want to date on their level, keep getting rejected by 7-10’s. But still can’t face the reality that dating would be easier if they choose people in their lane."
Right on point. To me this whole ridiculous thread is predicated upon incel theories of how women behave. The reality is that most well adjusted (relative term lol) women do not want to be treated badly ever. They just want guys in their leagues. Nature is telling them on a visceral level that they are not supposed to be breeding with a guy who looks like Elmer Fudd.
Incel guys can't own that they just aren't good enough for the girls that they want, nevermind actually doing something to improve themselves and their chances, so instead they rationalize why they're striking out by coming up with ridiculous theories about women. One of the popular theories seems to be this notion that women are just irrational creatures who want assholes instead of wonderful guys like them. I suspect that a solid majority of incels are on the autism spectrum, which certainly isn't helping them understand human emotional responses.
I don't believe in this stay in your lane shit, remember Julia Roberts was married to Lyle Lovett, I know they got divorced but how about Paul Newman arguably one of the handsomest men ever, yet he married Joanne Woodward, not necessarily homely but nowhere near him in the looks department, yet they were happily married over fifty years, its just like that old Chuck Berry song says " Goes to show you never can tell"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9l0YBKc…
Presuming that “bad” is letting men treat them as sex objects, my observation is yes certainly they grow out of this. Young women often relate with the men in their lives through sex, implied or real. Also, a woman who hasn’t found a long term partner may engage in sex on an entertainment-only basis. As they get into their mid 30’s, many women are looking for a partner, maybe even a father for their children, this means they’re looking for someone with more qualifications than sexual attractiveness or narrow kinks like being a “bad boy”. So as they grow into women with a deadline, they grow out of the stuff you describe.
I’ll add that if the options are “Disney princess”, “queen”, or “sex object”, no person looking for a “partner” is going to take the offer too seriously. If they’re bolting as soon as you show love and respect, that’s probably an indication that they don’t want you to progress beyond the level you’re currently occupying for them.
By the time they’re in their late 40’s, sex and sex based relationships are generally very low priority for women, and all of this stuff is mostly off the table.
I believe in staying in my league. I don't have a problem getting women. The problem I've found is once you get them. Their insecurities come out. They end up self sabotaging a lot of things. They'll nitpick at small things when you treat them well. But overlook things when they're treated badly. I hate how girls are all over me when I act like I don't care and then get all insecure and sabotage shit when I show I care. It should be the other way around.
And it's things I see around.
Like hoes who have all this stuff on instagram that their tricks pay for. Talk about only dating rich men. But have broke boyfriends who they just always argue with.
Or a friend dates abusive guys but posts happy shit on ig and her girlfriends all talk about how it's great she's so happy deserving to live her best life. Forgetting that every other week she posts her bruises and black eyes on her stories asking for a place to stay for a while.
A guy married his college girlfriend. And nothing was ever enough. She wanted more and more on steps like a puppy designer shit an expensive car a kid a house. Then when she had all that divorced him and now his kid is being raised by her and the guy who can't keep a low wage job... that she left him for.
Or a retired teacher. She's with her husband and he's okay with her choices as long as she doesn't bring any of it home. She started trying drugs in her 60s now does meth and fucks other guys. Sometimes being away for days then comes home to him like nothing.
This isn't incel delusions it's every day observations.
Of one dancer I know her mom is in her 30s and these girls go clubbing and get high together. The mom dates men in their late teens and early 20s and wonders why she can't find a good man lol
===> "@rickdugan, is it only about the looks and physical traits or is money a factor in the league definition you're making?"
Well, for starters, IME most incels aren't making a ton of money. Their personalities are often even more of a problem than their physical limitations. They tend to struggle interacting with people normally and are often malcontents who don't take ownership of their issues, instead looking for external factors to blame. Not exactly a recipe for high income potential, though some seem to manage to find tech jobs or other positions where they could make decent money despite their various limitations.
Now yes, obviously some very rich guys score well out of their leagues, but IMHO the amount of natural resistance a girl can push through is directly proportionate to how good her new life will be. IMHO a hot girl is highly unlikely to to pop out a few kids for a guy with the normal incel issues just because he earns $50k more per year than her preferred options. A slightly better house and a nicer car aren't going to make any girl shack up every night with a guy who her natural instincts are telling her to avoid.
Sometimes when you see couples where one of them is way hotter, it was a gradual change over the years. Sometimes one person either just let's themself go or ages badly. 🤷🏼♀️
Of course somebody looking significantly worse over time alone would be a fucked up reason to leave... but when there's many other issues... lol anyway rambling.
@theredactedracialslurformerlyknownasicee, why do you keep gravitating towards damaged women? You seem to prioritize "bad bitches," strippers, and instathots, and sound shocked that they come as advertised.
I've dated plenty of hot women whom I treated well without them becoming entitled or distant. They can be hot and still not primarily relate to the world through their tits. They laugh at guys who spit PUA shit at them. Some are accomplished doctors, lawyers, or businesswomen who don't feel the need to out-penis the man. They have values but can still be a tigress in the sack. And if a man abuses them physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually, they'll tell him to fuck off and never look back.
I'll never treat a woman like shit because I have principles. Woe to the man who sacrifices his principles for pussy.
I don't think it's about wanting to be treated badly. I think its about self esteem and what they feel they deserve. Some women can't handle a man who is too good of a catch it makes them insecure they fear catching feelings and him leaving. Others get high off the making up experience in between all the toxic negative shit. And the same can be said for men I guess.
Looks matter. Its what initially attracts them. It doesn't have to be that they're all that. But you have to find something about them that attracts you.
Incels are very sheltered men with poor social skills overall. Their anger and hatred of women is just a projection of how they really feel about themselves. They can change themselves. Working out and having a nicer body will make up for an ugly face and it builds confidence.
Attraction isn't logical its about how people make each other feel.
You've prided yourself on dating strippers and messaging instathots. Not shocked that they gravitate towards men who mistreat or use them.
I'm not saying looks don't matter. They absolutely do (more for women than men). But we're not slaves to our instincts. If you feel the need to date a certain type of woman to prove yourself, then YOU are the damaged goods. I had one friend like this for a while--wanted to pick up girls in bars/clubs to prove himself. It went about as well as you might think.
Sometimes going to strip clubs has been like a game for me. Picking up strippers has been an ego boost. And so is picking up instathots. Its coz these women are like a fantasy to so many men. So being able to fuck them spend time with them is kinda like a flex. But the reality with these women is so different from the fantasy men have.
Like I have a girl who looks like Kim K telling me she loves me after 3 dates. She's gone through my phone. Constantly texts. I didn't text her one day she called crying if I think she's too ugly to text back. Meanwhile she has a few sugar daddies and I know she fucks a married guy for money and shopping trips. Acts like that's just work... its fucked up.
Or even my ex or whatever she is. Men were all over her at work. Sometimes she'd let me read texts from her regulars. And I'd think in my head.... if they knew the reality.
Or I know a legal clerk whose boyfriend is in and out of jail.
Everyone chases an ego boost. It sounds like being an addict lol bad bitches can be worse than meth.
Dental hygienists and nurses are usually ghetto bitches who go into those fields coz of TV commercials. A lot of the ones I know try to fuck drs on the side. Legal assistants are the same.
I'll admit I have my dichotomy between "good girls" for dating/marriage and "good time girls" i.e. strippers, whose personal lives I don't want a part of.
Maybe it’s not the women - maybe it’s the guy who is going for them? It’s possible that the OP is looking for a specific type.
If I remember correctly, your girl said you were too controlling. If a girl is ok with her man being controlling, that might be a red flag. Most of the women I know are not interested in a controlling partner. They value their own independence and they have their own sources of income, and they are very good looking as well.
Enjoying being treated like a princess is generally for young inexperienced girls. I’ve not had any adult relationships with girls who wanted a princess fantasy - to be swept up by a prince who was there to handle everything - and guide them on their way.
There are girls who need a strong man, as they aren’t comfortable on their own. There is comfort in having a prince who makes all the decisions. He orders for her in restaurants, tells her what to wear, etc. but that’s more of a master/sub relationship, and it becomes tiresome quickly. I think those girls are immature and almost afraid of making mistakes - so they allow a man to do everything.
Cashman I'm not controlling. She said it was controlling of me to find out about her cheating and demanding it to stop. That it was my fault for finding out. Then denied it. That was her argument.
And by treating her like a princess I mean making sure she feels safe. Has everything she wants and needs. Not telling her what to do.
To clarify staying in your lane isn’t solely based on looks. It can be character, it can be value, it also can be social awkwardness
Some men/women are socially awkward and that keeps them at the lower end of the rating. Everyone thinks they are great but have no idea of how the outside world is experiencing them.
I just made up with someone who would bet his life I was using him for his money as a “pretty girl”. I had to explain that his aggressive texts in which he always had to tell me about myself is why I wouldn’t answer.
I’ve dealt with many men who told themselves a narrative that years later when we bumped into each other I got to clear up. It made me realize that y’all are just as emotional as women. And there’s always a great women somewhere that you passed up. So now I’m never bitter about men who I think played me for a better looking girl because honestly I don’t know how I came across to them
I don’t think any woman wants be treated bad. Treat them like a Queen no matter what, keep your promises, respect their privacy, and spoil them w money / lovemaking.
Only some dumb ass would think women want be treated bad.
I don’t think most “like” being treated bad—maybe some conditions like where you find women (and also men) in competitive status oriented social circles that is more a thing. I think that behavior has been lessening as time goes on, and why “red pill” content of being an alpha asshole is not as active as it used to be. (Seriously, put some choice phrases into google trends searches. It peaked sometime 2016ish and has fallen off)
As somebody who has been in more than one dysfunctional relationship situation, for me personally it’s almost always the initial period is completely wonderful and full of lovebombing (and treated like a disney princess). Then once emotionally attached and been together for a bit, then the crappy behavior starts happening. This is dark triad behavior 101 btw. The “simp” behavior is more than plenty in the beginning.
Then they lose their shit when you suddenly bail on them and ignore their attempts to “stay friends” 🙄
@nicespice, the "PUA" set has been declining a lot before 2016. Their business model went tits up when the alt-right stepped in about 10 years ago, and picked off their audience (desperate, directionless losers).
I've talked elsewhere about a good friend who wrote copy for some of those guys (and even stole girls from them). They're emotionally needy freaks who bang desperate, low self-esteem women in a numbers game, then pat themselves on the back for it. Professionally, they're grifters going from scam to scam. One of the big guys who never made a nickel in the stock market is selling a "foolproof stock trading scheme."
I don’t think you know what you’re thinking when you think you know what others are thinking, especially when it comes to how theniggaformerlyknownas2icee thinks when it come to how his hoes think!
PUAs are just socially awkward men who try to convince women into fucking them. It's coercive but as a numbers game some will cave in.
Red pill bs is just incel bs
Lovebombing is what fuck boys do. They think it'll be enough to keep a girl around once they play them. And it works. It's a form of manipulation where women want the guy they were at first back so they put up with so much.
White knighting will just get you used and hurt.
Wanting to be treated bad is about relative deprivation. When its all they're used to they think it's normal. What they deserve. Being treated better is scary. The fear of opening up to it and losing it is too much. Fear is stronger than love. People self sabotage relationships a lot coz of fear.
The thing is to be consistent and to give a woman some power. She has to choose you. How you proceed has to be what she let's you. And yeah treat her well but with consistency. Keep your word don't lie don't let her down.
===> "To clarify staying in your lane isn’t solely based on looks. It can be character, it can be value, it also can be social awkwardness"
IMHO Bharlem keeps hitting the bullseye. IME when there IS a mismatch, the less attractive partner has some personality characteristic to that makes him/her more attractive to the other partner.
Conversely, I've met my share of decent looking guys who couldn't get laid in a whore house with a fist full of 50s because they are just so damned weird/awkward/creepy. I'm guessing that some incels fall into this category due to mental health issues, such as Asperger's or some other autism spectrum disorder. They just can't process emotional nuance and social cues the way that others do.
If a girl funds you attractive and really wants you then you don't need so-called game or anything. All that is a myth. It comes down to her finding something attractive about you
54 comments
Sex is easy to get and women are easy. But its like when you're a bad boy they love that. But when you start treating them with love and respect they get scared almost.
I have 2 girls I've treated like sex objects and ignored. One for 2 years one for months. And as soon as I texted them they were all over me. As are girls I make it obvious I just want to fuck them. But then with a girl I've treated like a queen it's so hard.
Do you give up on someone so damaged? It's hard.
Like have you ever been ghosted and they give you their new number just to tell you not to use it?
I will play along and answer your question:
Q: Do women outgrow wanting to be treated bad?
A: Some do, most don’t.
“Women want Bad Boys to be Good for them;
and Men want Good Girls to be Bad for them.”
In evolutionary sense women want it all—an healthy attractive, masculine man (good genes), who also cares, has resources to share, and will take care of kids too (good provider).
Basically women want a protective provider, by instinct and evolutionary, survival reasons.
However in today complicated modern society full of mixed, conflicting messages and denial; sometimes, some women get confused and end up with a violent abuser, master manipulator.
You reminded me of the following centuries old poem, that was written for men by a woman.
“Hombres necios que acusáis
a la mujer sin razón
sin ver que sois la ocasión
de lo mismo que culpáis:
si con ansia sin igual
solicitáis su desdén
¿por qué queréis que obren bien
si las incitáis al mal?
Combatís su resistencia
y luego, con gravedad,
decís que fue liviandad
lo que hizo la diligencia.
Parecer quiere el denuedo
de vuestro parecer loco
al niño que pone el coco
y luego le tiene miedo.
Queréis, con presunción necia,
hallar a la que buscáis,
para pretendida, Thais,
y en la posesión, Lucrecia.
¿Qué humor puede ser más raro
que el que, falto de consejo,
él mismo empaña el espejo
y siente que no esté claro?
Con el favor y el desdén
tenéis condición igual,
quejándoos, si os tratan mal,
burlándoos, si os quieren bien.
Opinión, ninguna gana;
pues la que más se recata,
si no os admite, es ingrata,
y si os admire, es liviana.
Siempre tan necios andáis
que, con desigual nivel,
a una culpáis por crüel
y otra por fácil culpáis.
¿Pues cómo ha de estar templada
la que vuestro amor pretende
si la que es ingrata, ofende,
y la que es fácil, enfada?
Mas, entre el enfado y pena
que vuestro gusto refiere,
bien haya la que no os quiere
y quejáos en hora buena.
Dan vuestras amantes penas
a sus libertades alas,
y después de hacerlas malas
las queréis hallar muy buenas.
¿Cuál mayor culpa ha tenido
en una pasión errada:
la que cae de rogada,
o el que ruega de caído?
¿O cuál es más de culpar,
aunque cualquiera mal haga:
la que peca por la paga,
o el que paga por pecar?
Pues ¿para qué os espantáis
de la culpa que tenéis?
Queredlas cual las hacéis
o hacedlas cual las buscáis.
Dejad de solicitar,
y después, con más razón,
acusaréis la afición
de la que os fuere a rogar.
Bien con muchas armas fundo
que lidia vuestra arrogancia,
pues en promesa e instancia
juntáis diablo, carne y mundo.”
~ “Hombres Necios que acusáis”
~ (“Foolish Men who accuse”)
~ By Sor Juan Inéz de la Cruz
~ Born 12 November 1648
~ Died 17 April 1695
You can find translations/interpretations here if you need them
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/hombres-n…
“Or who is more to blame,
even if both do act incorrectly:
she who sins for a wage
or he who pays for sinning?”
It’s not just a woman thing. And now we have these woh is me men aka incels, mad because they don’t want to date on their level, keep getting rejected by 7-10’s. But still can’t face the reality that dating would be easier if they choose people in their lane.
Women don't hold a monopoly on being gluttons for punishment. I know guys my age who repeatedly date/marry women who are some degree of younger and/or out of their league. They get these younger, hotter women via offering stability (financial or otherwise), but that stability is predominantly attractive only to women who have no stability of their own. Meaning, these women are usually train wrecks driven by neediness and desperation rather than genuine attraction. Not surprisingly, this almost always ends in an ugly divorce or breakup, because many train-wreck humans can't be fixed.
One friend of mine just exited his third mushroom-cloud divorce resulting from marrying a hot, young mess. I told him that he either needs to date people who don't need his support/help to fix their lives, which means he probably won't date younger hot women. Because hot, young women who have their shit together don't need or want to date middle-aged guys who are moderately wealthy. Alternately, I told him that he should look at some combination of sugaring, strippers, or escorts, because he can scratch that itch and then exit those relationships with greater ease.
Anyway, many guys also go at toxic people like a moth to a flame.
Right on point. To me this whole ridiculous thread is predicated upon incel theories of how women behave. The reality is that most well adjusted (relative term lol) women do not want to be treated badly ever. They just want guys in their leagues. Nature is telling them on a visceral level that they are not supposed to be breeding with a guy who looks like Elmer Fudd.
Incel guys can't own that they just aren't good enough for the girls that they want, nevermind actually doing something to improve themselves and their chances, so instead they rationalize why they're striking out by coming up with ridiculous theories about women. One of the popular theories seems to be this notion that women are just irrational creatures who want assholes instead of wonderful guys like them. I suspect that a solid majority of incels are on the autism spectrum, which certainly isn't helping them understand human emotional responses.
As far as original topic... I think just because men can get away with treating *some* women like shit it doesn't make it ok.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9l0YBKc…
I’ll add that if the options are “Disney princess”, “queen”, or “sex object”, no person looking for a “partner” is going to take the offer too seriously. If they’re bolting as soon as you show love and respect, that’s probably an indication that they don’t want you to progress beyond the level you’re currently occupying for them.
By the time they’re in their late 40’s, sex and sex based relationships are generally very low priority for women, and all of this stuff is mostly off the table.
I believe in staying in my league. I don't have a problem getting women. The problem I've found is once you get them. Their insecurities come out. They end up self sabotaging a lot of things. They'll nitpick at small things when you treat them well. But overlook things when they're treated badly. I hate how girls are all over me when I act like I don't care and then get all insecure and sabotage shit when I show I care. It should be the other way around.
And it's things I see around.
Like hoes who have all this stuff on instagram that their tricks pay for. Talk about only dating rich men. But have broke boyfriends who they just always argue with.
Or a friend dates abusive guys but posts happy shit on ig and her girlfriends all talk about how it's great she's so happy deserving to live her best life. Forgetting that every other week she posts her bruises and black eyes on her stories asking for a place to stay for a while.
A guy married his college girlfriend. And nothing was ever enough. She wanted more and more on steps like a puppy designer shit an expensive car a kid a house. Then when she had all that divorced him and now his kid is being raised by her and the guy who can't keep a low wage job... that she left him for.
Or a retired teacher. She's with her husband and he's okay with her choices as long as she doesn't bring any of it home. She started trying drugs in her 60s now does meth and fucks other guys. Sometimes being away for days then comes home to him like nothing.
This isn't incel delusions it's every day observations.
Well, for starters, IME most incels aren't making a ton of money. Their personalities are often even more of a problem than their physical limitations. They tend to struggle interacting with people normally and are often malcontents who don't take ownership of their issues, instead looking for external factors to blame. Not exactly a recipe for high income potential, though some seem to manage to find tech jobs or other positions where they could make decent money despite their various limitations.
Now yes, obviously some very rich guys score well out of their leagues, but IMHO the amount of natural resistance a girl can push through is directly proportionate to how good her new life will be. IMHO a hot girl is highly unlikely to to pop out a few kids for a guy with the normal incel issues just because he earns $50k more per year than her preferred options. A slightly better house and a nicer car aren't going to make any girl shack up every night with a guy who her natural instincts are telling her to avoid.
Some people allow themselves to be treated badly but that doesn't mean they want to be (or should be) treated that way.
I've dated plenty of hot women whom I treated well without them becoming entitled or distant. They can be hot and still not primarily relate to the world through their tits. They laugh at guys who spit PUA shit at them. Some are accomplished doctors, lawyers, or businesswomen who don't feel the need to out-penis the man. They have values but can still be a tigress in the sack. And if a man abuses them physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually, they'll tell him to fuck off and never look back.
I'll never treat a woman like shit because I have principles. Woe to the man who sacrifices his principles for pussy.
Looks matter. Its what initially attracts them. It doesn't have to be that they're all that. But you have to find something about them that attracts you.
Incels are very sheltered men with poor social skills overall. Their anger and hatred of women is just a projection of how they really feel about themselves. They can change themselves. Working out and having a nicer body will make up for an ugly face and it builds confidence.
Attraction isn't logical its about how people make each other feel.
I'm not saying looks don't matter. They absolutely do (more for women than men). But we're not slaves to our instincts. If you feel the need to date a certain type of woman to prove yourself, then YOU are the damaged goods. I had one friend like this for a while--wanted to pick up girls in bars/clubs to prove himself. It went about as well as you might think.
Like I have a girl who looks like Kim K telling me she loves me after 3 dates. She's gone through my phone. Constantly texts. I didn't text her one day she called crying if I think she's too ugly to text back. Meanwhile she has a few sugar daddies and I know she fucks a married guy for money and shopping trips. Acts like that's just work... its fucked up.
Or even my ex or whatever she is. Men were all over her at work. Sometimes she'd let me read texts from her regulars. And I'd think in my head.... if they knew the reality.
Or I know a legal clerk whose boyfriend is in and out of jail.
Dental hygienists and nurses are usually ghetto bitches who go into those fields coz of TV commercials. A lot of the ones I know try to fuck drs on the side. Legal assistants are the same.
oh yeah. i admit. that’s me.
If I remember correctly, your girl said you were too controlling. If a girl is ok with her man being controlling, that might be a red flag. Most of the women I know are not interested in a controlling partner. They value their own independence and they have their own sources of income, and they are very good looking as well.
Enjoying being treated like a princess is generally for young inexperienced girls. I’ve not had any adult relationships with girls who wanted a princess fantasy - to be swept up by a prince who was there to handle everything - and guide them on their way.
There are girls who need a strong man, as they aren’t comfortable on their own. There is comfort in having a prince who makes all the decisions. He orders for her in restaurants, tells her what to wear, etc. but that’s more of a master/sub relationship, and it becomes tiresome quickly. I think those girls are immature and almost afraid of making mistakes - so they allow a man to do everything.
And by treating her like a princess I mean making sure she feels safe. Has everything she wants and needs. Not telling her what to do.
But beyond that, if she wants to know you, then she wants to be seen as a capable and reliable partner.
SJG
Some men/women are socially awkward and that keeps them at the lower end of the rating. Everyone thinks they are great but have no idea of how the outside world is experiencing them.
I just made up with someone who would bet his life I was using him for his money as a “pretty girl”. I had to explain that his aggressive texts in which he always had to tell me about myself is why I wouldn’t answer.
I’ve dealt with many men who told themselves a narrative that years later when we bumped into each other I got to clear up. It made me realize that y’all are just as emotional as women. And there’s always a great women somewhere that you passed up. So now I’m never bitter about men who I think played me for a better looking girl because honestly I don’t know how I came across to them
Yeah bad girls want to be seen as capable. But today's culture makes girls think being toxic is cute
Once they know you, they will usually want to be seen as fully capable partners, being on their best behavior
SJG
If you're talking about hookers yeah they'll be on their best for a customer.
SJG
Only some dumb ass would think women want be treated bad.
As somebody who has been in more than one dysfunctional relationship situation, for me personally it’s almost always the initial period is completely wonderful and full of lovebombing (and treated like a disney princess). Then once emotionally attached and been together for a bit, then the crappy behavior starts happening. This is dark triad behavior 101 btw. The “simp” behavior is more than plenty in the beginning.
Then they lose their shit when you suddenly bail on them and ignore their attempts to “stay friends” 🙄
I doubt I am overly unique in that regard.
I've talked elsewhere about a good friend who wrote copy for some of those guys (and even stole girls from them). They're emotionally needy freaks who bang desperate, low self-esteem women in a numbers game, then pat themselves on the back for it. Professionally, they're grifters going from scam to scam. One of the big guys who never made a nickel in the stock market is selling a "foolproof stock trading scheme."
That’s what I think!
Red pill bs is just incel bs
Lovebombing is what fuck boys do. They think it'll be enough to keep a girl around once they play them. And it works. It's a form of manipulation where women want the guy they were at first back so they put up with so much.
White knighting will just get you used and hurt.
Wanting to be treated bad is about relative deprivation. When its all they're used to they think it's normal. What they deserve. Being treated better is scary. The fear of opening up to it and losing it is too much. Fear is stronger than love. People self sabotage relationships a lot coz of fear.
The thing is to be consistent and to give a woman some power. She has to choose you. How you proceed has to be what she let's you. And yeah treat her well but with consistency. Keep your word don't lie don't let her down.
IMHO Bharlem keeps hitting the bullseye. IME when there IS a mismatch, the less attractive partner has some personality characteristic to that makes him/her more attractive to the other partner.
Conversely, I've met my share of decent looking guys who couldn't get laid in a whore house with a fist full of 50s because they are just so damned weird/awkward/creepy. I'm guessing that some incels fall into this category due to mental health issues, such as Asperger's or some other autism spectrum disorder. They just can't process emotional nuance and social cues the way that others do.