Gifts!

It's kind'a funny that you mention it. I never bought any gifts (outside of a card or something like that) for any of my girls until my ATF came along (err, poor choice of words). Upon reflection, I think it's directly related to the level of "feelings" for the girl.

-> CDs - probably about 20 (mostly purchased from iTunes)
-> a REALLY nice digital camera, plus spare battery & chrgr, several mem cards (birthday present)
-> stripper wear - panties (as she called them), an outfit
-> helped her with first month rent oh her house
-> car charger for her phone
-> a few gifts of money to help her out at trying times (she may be heading for the big "D" - no, not Dallas)

On my part it's mostly clothing - I love to take her shopping for clothes because she'll try on everything in sight and model it for me, which feels very intimate. I once bought her a bikini and that was especially fun, watching her model different ones. Last year I bought her some luggage for Christmas. She's very frugal so none of this costs very much.

You might also want to talk about what she gives you - my ATF is now a licensed massage therapist with her own business, and whenever I visit her she gives me free massages. She's really good at it. Last year she brought her table to the condo I was renting and gave me a massage on the balconey overlooking the beach. Wow.

Flowers: I get the vases at yard sales for 25 to 50 cents. The flowers come from my yard. i have something in bloom 9 months of the year.
Perfume: Last Christmas and the year before I gave out about sample bottles of perfume. I have given full size bottles to some favorites on their birthdays. My daughter sells the stuff part time. So I get it free.
Music CD's: I have probably given out a couple of hundred over the years. I burn them myself. Costs me about 50 cents a pop for blank CD-R and jewel cases.
DVD's: I have burned 3 copies of Disney's "Song of the South" for favorites with kids. These are difficult to come by. I burned one porno for a favorite.
My first ATF: Gave her a stick pin of a cat and also gave her a 6 foot long stuffed animal (Lizard).
Last ATF: Gave her an art print of butterfly's. Hauled my old computer work station 240 miles to give to her. And lastly gave her $1,000 when she broke up with her husband and he kicked her out of the the house. The house was in his parents name.
Candy: They don't call me the candy man for nothing.

DougS made me thing of others.

A gift certificate to Victoria's Secret. Not sure what all she bought with it. This was a Christmas present.

Several CD's.

From her...

Well, that was a difficult think since I could not have "gifts" popping up, so they were things I might purchase for myself.

A nice key chain. Never used it, however, but still have it.

A thing that went in my car to heat and massage my back. Used it a lot. She knew I had a bad back. It was and is wonderful. Still use it.

Can't really think of anything else, but as I said, that was my choice. Just didn't need something to explain.

I am so sensitized to this issue, because of stories I have heard (along with everyone else) of PLs being taken for a ride by ATFs, that I have never given a stripper anything other than money in payment for dances, and would be very reluctant to do so unless we had a full-blown relationship outside the club.

One time, I've paid (using my credit card) over the computer, for my formal ATF's phone bill, after she gave me the money. But, since I had her account info to include username and password, I did surprise her once by paying a monthly cellphone bill for her, without her knowing it.

One early ATF talked me into sending her roses for her birthday. I didn't know why she wanted that so much but I went along. One favorite asked to borrow one of my CD's she liked when she was riding around with me in my car. I never got around to that and broke up with her before I did. I was glad she didn't have my CD. (before there were burners). Another dancer talked me into buying her an outfit, it was if I remember around 60 to 80 dollars. Most dancers would not have been able to talk me into something like that but she was good in bed so I caved in and bought her something. She wanted to go on a gambling vacation trip with me and she acted like her feelings her hurt when I indicated no way, unless she wanted to pay.

chitown...i don't consider it being taken for a ride, if you give a gift freely, expecting nothing in return. on the other hand, if u secretly hope this gorgeous girl will quit stripping and run off with u, meanwhile she's manipulatively dropping all these hints... that's a different story. and yes that does happen. you certainly should never make purchases for people if you get a weird vibe off it. i buy lots of people presents, i just like to. i buy presents for my dad. i view it the same way. i'm going to give my atf the iphone she wants next time i see her.

to the op, kudos getting your girl a pistol, that is a very good gift for a female.

Until I met my current ATF last year, I never really had a regular, so of course, there was not any reason to purchase girts. But with her, I did send her flowers on Valentine's Day. And since there is a boutique that is part of the club where she works, about once a month we go shopping for new dancer clothes. Nothing too expensive, a pair of shoes one month, a new outfit and panties the next month.

angelfly,

The pistol was a gift in which SHE expressed interest. And only after I had taken her to the range a few times, as I stated.

clubber,

i was not in the least being sarcastic. i actually meant i do think it's wise for a woman to own her own firearm... i can't get tone of voice on this computer:)...my bad.

Oh yeah, I've remembered a few other gifts that my ATF has received from me.

-> balloon bouquet (she'd mentioned that she'd never received balloons from anyone in her life - not like she was hinting - more like lamenting that her SO isn't very thoughtful - of course I had to show her who IS thoughtful - okay, maybe I was manipulated a little on that one)
-> a Teddy Gram and huge cookie for Valentine's Day

Although it DOES seem a little pathetic and PL-ish to buy dancers gifts, I don't feel at all taken or used by doing so. It makes ME feel good to make her happy. Also, I believe there is a relationship brewing here - it certainly feels like it, anyhow.

You're right not to feel used. If a stripper was truly using you for the gifts you gave, she'd make sure she got items with a good cash trade-in value. That's why a gun is good idea. Sentimental stuff like flowers and balloons make the giver feel happy but do nothing for the recipient's bottom line.

chandler: There are exceptions. 4 months into a relationship with my first ATF, she sent flowers to my home via FEDEX. Because she paid for it with a credit card, she divulged her real first and last name. My daughter said "Dad, these are not from flowers are us. These are expensive". It did a lot for my bottom line. After that, every time I met her, I brought her flowers. She would take them and set them right in the middle of our table. She didn't care who noticed. Comment from another dancer "Are there anymore at home like you?"

a little thing and my ATF loved it...

Just for yucks I printed out a nice proclamation type thing, using our nicknames for each other, about the VIP room we always adjourn to. She loved it. i printed another copy and put it in a nice frame for her. It sits now on her bedroom dresser.

anglefly,

I didn't take what you said anyway other then what you expressed. I, too, thought it a good idea. I was just explaining the sequence and that it wasn't my idea.

Shadowcat: So, does that mean that you ARE being used for the gifts you give?

Chandler, I don't know about Shadowcat, but I used to hope that my ATF would take advantage of my gift-giving, it's why I initially did it. Fortunately that turned out not to be the case. Sometimes not getting what you hope for is the best result. Funny how often the universe seems to understand that.

chandler: I guess that is a matter of perception. If a person thinks that he is being used, he probably is. I don't feel that way. My gift giving has always been met with appreciation that I believe to be sincere.

Shadowcat: I've just been making light of the idea that any stripper would use a customer in order to receive free flowers. Nothing serious intended.

No offense taken.

While of course chicks love the 100 dollar bills being handed out like candy for VIP sessions and usually get you little if any thanks, then they get a one dollar gift (e.g a burned CD) - well that can bring tears of joy and happiness and wonder and endless gratitude. There is no figuring out women