tuscl

How do effeminate guys come across to dancers?

Especially with compliments/comments that they don't normally get? Such as... I like how you have your hair, how long did it take you to do, your makeup is great, how tall are your heels, what kind of material is your outfit made from etc etc. I'm tending to have girls start talking about how they're saving up to start a business vs blowing the money on tattoos, with no "want a dance?" at the end. I feel like I'm in a social situation with training wheels or a simulator lol

33 comments

  • nicespice
    4 years ago
    Idk if I view these dudes as “effeminate”—I view that as a red flag he’s about to prove himself as part of the PUA crowd. The “give me your number so I can take you out” and trying to sell dances is like pulling teeth. I think they all heard the same advice to make comments like that because then we will know that we are being treated like “actual persons—unlike the other creeps in the room”...or something like that. 🙄
  • Dave_Anderson
    4 years ago
    I don't see that as "effeminate" but I'm a hair perv so who knows. All I know is that bringing a hair brush in your pocket will get you a lot of good will in the VIP. Most chicks seem to like their hair played with.
  • nightrid3
    4 years ago
    @nicespice pua's wouldn't have much luck here, giving out any contact details is very much against the rules. Someone did it for me for a paid gfe outside of the club, and I heard of some girl giving her fb to her regulars but that's about it.
  • datinman
    4 years ago
    Bowie and Prince seemingly did well with the ladies. I think confidence and charisma go a long way. Comments about clothes, shoes, or make-up can still be done in a flirty manner so the dancer knows you are interested in her, and not doing research for your own closet.
  • nightrid3
    4 years ago
    @justintolook how to make comments in a non-flirty manner, for when I'm just curious in general?
  • jackslash
    4 years ago
    Why are you asking me?
  • shadowcat
    4 years ago
    Dave_Anderson - Black chicks not so much.
  • datinman
    4 years ago
    "how to make comments in a non-flirty manner, for when I'm just curious in general?"

    I guess I misunderstood your OP. I took it that you were complaining that your interactions with dancers became platonic because you were a) effeminate ie. having feminine characteristics and b) started conversations with compliments about their hair, make-up, and shoes. If you're just curious in general about their smokey eye make-up or hair extensions, I'm afraid I have nothing to contribute to the conversation except to point out that many dancers are willing to sit and talk for cash.
  • NAAAASTY
    4 years ago
    It's better to be friendly

    NAAAASTY
  • gammanu95
    4 years ago
    ime, "Treat whores like queens, and queens like whores" does not work out in real life. If you are going to pay compliments, they have to be sincere and tailored to that individual woman.
  • doctorevil
    4 years ago
    I'm not sure what the OP is asking. Is he saying he is effeminate and wants to know how these comments come across because he's effeminate, or is he asking if the comments themselves are effeminate? I don't think they are. OK, maybe "how long did it take to do you hair" is effeminate, but the others seem like normal small talk to me.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    Like with any guy. They'll go along with it itc as long as youre tipping or getting dances.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    What do you expect them to do? Be rude to customers? It doesn't mean they like you
  • NAAAASTY
    4 years ago
    To answer the OP's q. Effeminate guys come across as effeminate. Doesn't matter. Matters more what are you trying to accomplish.

    NAAAASTY
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    Ask yourselves this. How would you like to be hit on and complimented by butch lesbians? Thats how women feel with effeminate guys
  • doctorevil
    4 years ago
    Why would a butch lesbian be complimenting and hitting on a guy?
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    Its how effeminate men come across to women. Unless she has gay guy friends then you can be one of the girls
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    And before anyone goes there. A hooker will fuck anyone who can pay
  • doctorevil
    4 years ago
    Not quite as obnoxious, but Icee makes no more sense now than he did before he was banned under his old username.
  • rattdog
    4 years ago
    if you do this one time - talk to the girl that you've know for a while at the club about her dress, shoes, makeup, etc then that would be cool. it would be a change from usual conversations. but if you do it a lot i would think that the girl would eventually judge you as some kind of a whackjob, effeminate or not.
  • TheeOSU
    4 years ago
    "Bowie and Prince seemingly did well with the ladies. "




    Yup the fact that they were rich, famous, and in occupations that were known for having hordes of groupies, pre AIDS, had absolutely nothing to do with it.
  • Cashman1234
    4 years ago
    I think NiceSpice hit it with her comment. For dancers who are aware, it may seem like a red flag.

    It may work - depending on the guy. I’m sure dancers don’t mind it when a guy compliments something most guys don’t notice.

    But, complimenting a set of clear pleaser heels - is kinda weak.
  • nightrid3
    4 years ago
    @cashman1234 I think when I say "Not really here for anything sexual, like the conversation and sometimes massages" a girl might spread that around the club and you then get these others approaching you without any propositions. I mean girl locker room talk spreads fast as it is, letalone stripper locker room talk :P I don't really try to compliment the heels, I just try and guess how long they are. (And I'm sure they get a kick out of me saying "I'll have to try a pair on one day and see how hard it is to walk".
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    Dr evil. Women want effeminate men about as much as men want masculine women. If that makes no sense to you then work on your language comprehension skills
  • rattdog
    4 years ago
    'Especially with compliments/comments that they don't normally get? Such as... I like how you have your hair, how long did it take you to do, your makeup is great, how tall are your heels, what kind of material is your outfit made from etc etc"

    this just had me realize how strippers are for the most part the coolest. just two people talking about the girl's choice in fashion and personal style. just shooting the shit.

    now if a guy and a girl had this conversation anywhere in the offices of a fortune 500 company they both work for. the way things are these days this situation could somehow become later on a human resources nightmare for the guy. harmless banter can end your career by such a moody twat.
  • NAAAASTY
    4 years ago
    "(And I'm sure they get a kick out of me saying "I'll have to try a pair on one day and see how hard it is to walk"."

    Nobody is as clever as they think they are.

    NAAAASTY
  • nightrid3
    4 years ago
    @2ICEE I dunno, I tend to make female friends every so often. One wanted to do a slumber party, showed me her playboy panties, and at a club grabbed my dick and said I need to start using it! I get told that I make them feel safe a lot.
  • rattdog
    4 years ago
    ^^so did you ever wind up using your dick on or in her? if yes then all of this 'effeminate" talk was well worth it.
  • nightrid3
    4 years ago
    Oh she friendzoned me early on, I don't think I'd be attracted to her more than physically anyway. What do you think of her looks? https://imgur.com/a/RqTeA8x
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    They see you the way they see a gay guy. What you need to do is have sexual tension with women
  • rattdog
    4 years ago
    not my type but that's just me. no big deal if she friend zones u - if u try and look hard enough u can find way way better.
  • Evasparkling
    4 years ago
    @2ICEE

    What do you mean by “Have Sexual Tension with Her”?
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    4 years ago
    Evasparkling she has to find something attractive about you. Its the way she looks at you acts a little submissive. The way she touches you
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