Midwest & Florida Road Trip: Observations, Notes, Musings,

Muddy
USA
I couple SC road trips this year that made up the bulk of my strip clubbing in 2020. One through Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Indy, St.Louis, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Milwaukee and Chicago. Then another separate trip through Miami and Tampa. Here are some thoughts.

M I D W E S T

-The one thing I noticed and maybe it was just luck was Covid didn't affect my experience too too much. KC most of the clubs were closed except for two and they seemed pretty dead. And Detroit had just completely shut down when I went out there so I didn't go.

-Midwest is still the home for white girls. They are the dominant dancer out here. For someone from here they might just brush that off and might say so? But honestly in the more cosmopolitan cities and anywhere near the Mexican border, the Latina I feel is the most common dancer. And natural white blondes are not that uncommon out here. It's not like a rare thing or particularly hard to find.

-St.Louis was interesting. I thought Diamond Cabaret was the best of all the clubs I went to in this region for ITC fun. Great club. I spent a lot of time on the Hill, where Yogi Berra grew up. Neighborhood right out of the 40's, looks like it hasn't changed much and the town overall has a ton of old red brick buildings that I thought were pretty cool. However North St.Louis was the single most ghetto place I've ever been. It looked like it survived a few bombing raids. Woah.

-I thought Minny had some interesting talent downtown. Also got to a situation there where I drank and strip clubbed and yes mistakes were made. Money lost...

-I met one dancer in Milwaukee, (BTW how many clubs named Silk in Milwaukee, talk about diversity let's start with some name diversity) anyway I hit her up for OTC, flaked on me one night, she was hot so I said let me give it another shot and she flaked again on me. Wasted time. This why I just try to keep meeting new strippers yakking it up and seeing what new opportunities develop. There's always something else so getting locked into anything is so dumb.

-Chicago might get too much hate imo. ok maybe the city proper sucks but the suburbs I'm always able to have a good time. Nothing crazy but it's not bad. Of all the places I love Chicago, it's has that big city feel along with probably only NYC has in the states.

-Indy I feel doesn't have a ton going on but I always feel the need to stop by and check out their strip clubs. Why are there so many clubs in this town and some a really popular on TUSCL too.

-The road trip was midwest without Detroit seems crazy but you know what everytime somebody asks about anything in the region, somebody chimes in with "Are you able to drive 5 hours to Detroit?" Seems like some crazy advice but I guess understand. But it also gave me an excuse to dig a little deeper, maybe Rust Belt strip clubbing can be more than just Detroit.

-I had some good food, highlights were, Joe's Kansas City BBQ- The Z-Boy, one of the great sandwhiches. You gotta get that. Matt's bar in Minneapolis. Home of the juicy lucy(cheese is in the burger). Huntsman reccomended I give him credit, probably the best burger I've had. And Johnnies in Chicago for an italian beef. Old school kind of place and old school prices. It was crazy how cheap it was and how good was. I love shit like that. Chicago overall is just a great food town.


F L O R I D A

-Miami is easily one of the best strip club cities. So far from where I've been it's either LA or Miami. A little more diversity in LA with the dancers, Miami was mostly cuban girls.

-In some spots I practically got *scolded* for not wanting to fuck. It was pretty crazy. Diamond Dolls Pompano they don't play games there. Holy shit.

-I wanna know who the Doctor is in South Florida who is giving these women rocks for titties and asses. When you feel these girls up it's so hard and just ridiculous. I'll be honest I got sick of the look in my short stay there and was desperate for some natural stuff. It was OD. You'll see this girls who are pretty who got some BS enhancements and now they look and feel crazy. Tone it down a little bit with the boob jobs from 1991.

-In some spots in Miami the lapdance mileage is ridicolous. You can get away with a ton and it seemed to be very welcomed and recipricoted. A lot from the dancer side of the house to make it good for me in some spots.

-The only thing Covid that affected me was Tootsies closed at midnight (the ended it just as I was leaving) but that's around the time I'm usually just getting started. Next time I would like to hit the club at around that time rather than around 5,6 when I went.

-I did OTC with one girl, who was gorgeous with a great succulent rack. But after having sex with her, there wasn't too too much to work with down there, not alot of bu dunk a dunk (sp?) I know what great problem but it's a reminder for me that deep down for me ass is a little more important than a great rack.

-The rest of money money went to some girl from NJ that moved down here that I have unhealthy affection for. Real good looking though. But is that the Miami experience getting some Jersey girl ass? Probably not but I still loved it.

-Miami has a great look. When Michael Mann repainted buildings for Miami Vice, the city sort of took of with the pastel art deco look and looks so sharp. Really makes for a unique city. On the other hand I feel like the rest of Florida suffers from what alot of boom areas of the last 30 years suffer from (Texas/Arizona guilty too) is the whole suburban mcmasion chain resturantville land thing going on. It's not horrible, everything is new and neat looking, it's just a long way from the older Northeastern cities I'm more accustomed too that have a little more character.

-Tampa, I knocked out the more touristy gotta see them places. I ran out of time to hit the more TUSCL friendly places but I will next time through.

-Mons Venus had some really thin girls. Like sub 100 lbs. I don't get the interest there but now I know why some dig this place, it's not my thing at all but I see why some would say it's different. I'm just not crazy about at place where mentioning the word "voluptuous" could get you arrested.

-Mons also along with 2001 Odyssey for being so famous these clubs were sooo small. There is no room in these spots.

-Tampa certainly was a big culture shock from Miami and certainly got a taste of natural that Miami didn't really have too much of.

-Thee Dollhouse had a great line up.

-I wish I would've spent a little more time in Tampa a lot of strip clubs here, more than you would think considering it's not exactly a major major city.

-Overall I've driven in a lot of places. Florida had hands down the worst drivers. People say it about Texas drivers, NY drivers and CA drivers. Florida by a long shot.

Anyway that's it. I had a good time and did way more clubbing on the road then at home this year. Everything else at home has been SB life, overall it's better value but it's not quite as exciting as hitting new strip clubs.

25 comments

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codemonkey
4 years ago
Yeah sounds like you skipped the best Tampa area clubs. Florida drivers are the worst because so many are OLD New York drivers.
nicespice
4 years ago
Aye, the two Midwest clubs I tried out and danced in, felt like I stood out in a good way 😁 Makes me want to explore the region more.

Well Wisconsin I’m not entirely too sure off. The club scene out there is, erm, odd to say the least. Made a phone call to one club, immediately asked what my weight is (but not my corresponding height so idk what the point of that was). And was told that I had to book for working six days straight, and because I’d be new, would have to come in at 4pm. Work ten hour shifts for multiple days? Just gonna nope right out of there and ended up at KoD a second time that summer. That club was called “Bonkers” and judging from that brief interaction, they certainly live up to their name. And judging by offhand comments from dancers, that whole state in general is idiosyncratic with their clubs to say the least. It’s mentioned there are exceptions, but when you ask them they get tight-lipped.

And as for the city opinions, the longer I’m at it with driving in places idk, the more I welcome the suburbia. Mostly because of wider streets and signs that make more sense. Ooh, and I absolutely loathe circling around places looking for parking. One thing that ticked me off about St Louis was that a lot of businesses don’t have parking lots. Have to go to a separate area and pay for parking, then walk on over. Granted, it was only like $2-5, but it’s annoying because at least downtown any city has an *excuse* because of its population density. St. Louis has more of a wide-open feel and it’s still wonky with parking. Just odd. Know if it would have been different if I had booked other parts of town for an Airbnb. Next time I’ll try to book somewhere nearby a Trader Joe’s or REI or something. Sure character is sacrificed, but you don’t have a BUNCH of neighbors from the block warning you to not be walking your dog when the sun is down...during a time of day there is *plenty* of sun. Definitely an interesting time.
nicespice
4 years ago
—>“-I wanna know who the Doctor is in South Florida who is giving these women rocks for titties and asses. “

A lot of dancers seem to like traveling to Miami for boob jobs. I’m not overly familiar with all that, but I get the impression it’s cheaper out there than the rest of the country. I think I’ve heard a doctor’s name or two that gets credited for a a more “natural” job, but not surprised if there’s even cheaper provided. Heck I remember one dancer in Denver who mentioned going to Miami to one doctor specifically, because she was turned away from several offices for being 19 and they didn’t want to deal with the risk. But over there, no problem, enjoy those new giant funbags.
Electronman
4 years ago
Interesting. Side by side club comparisons (or city comparisons) from the same reviewer is a nice model that helps a customer know where to go when traveling.

Too bad that you missed out on Detroit due to the COVID restrictions. The clubs in the west suburbs (Inkster, Romulus, Dearborn) are worth a visit.
shailynn
4 years ago
Excellent summary!

Miami is like partying in a Vegas club.

Tampa is like partying at an Applebee’s.

Muddy
4 years ago
Thanks guys. Next one I wanna do is Montreal whenever they open that border back up
TheeOSU
4 years ago
Good post Muddy, coulda shouda been an article! ;-)
Muddy
4 years ago
lol OSU I thought about getting super in depth and doing one but I keep pissing people off on here with stuff I consider "article material" smh haha
JamesSD
4 years ago
Awesome trip report.

Out here in San Diego a natural blonde with no tattoos and natural boobs is unheard of. In the Midwest you can often find more than one per club
mike710
4 years ago
Muddy, I will be following some of your trail this weekend in Tampa. I usually hit up the Penthouse Club, Thee Dollhouse and Scores in Tampa at night when I stay within walking distance. During the day, I will venture out to Pinellas and Pasco to hit Diamond Dolls and Bare Assets. The Tampa clubs are not as fun but I can walk to them. The clubs on the other side of the bay offer a lot of opportunities for fun.
pistola
4 years ago
You missed out on Scarletts and Gold Club. Some of the talent at GC is all natural pre-surgery hispanic hotness. And the Pinellas/Pasco clubs are trips youll see everything from dimes to pregnant trailer trash.

Ill agree with you on one thing. FL drivers are the worst I've ever seen. Combine stupidity with uncourteous and that's what's on the roads in FL.
Muddy
4 years ago
Interesting yeah I’m definitely hit those next time. Couple other thoughts.

-South Miami Beach. It’s never like the movies but I’m this case it was a bunch a super hot women (foreign though, some European language) in binkinis at the beach. Rare for me, I usually end up around “loud kids who throw ball, and grandma who swims out 500 yard” so I guess this time I got lucky.

-I tried a few Cuban sandwiches, I did intense research to find the spots. And I gotta be honest I can’t get over the fact at the end of the day it’s just a fucking ham sandwich man. Maybe it’s just not my thing.

Huntsman
4 years ago
Thanks Muddy. Hearing your take on all these places was a good read.
whodey
4 years ago
Muddy the only way to enjoy a Cuban sandwich is to be between two hot naked Cuban strippers.
Papi_Chulo
4 years ago
^ the ultimate Cuban sandwich
😎
Muddy
4 years ago
Oh fuck your right whodey. I actually had an threesome opportunity but I turned it down this time haha.

One more note. I also passed through Des Moines Iowa. The whole city smells like dog food. I don’t really know what the fuck to say about that one.
mike710
4 years ago
Had my first of 4 days in Tampa yesterday. Stopped by Diamond Dolls and the newly re-opened Penthouse club. Will write reviews but I'm very happy to be in Florida. Neither cared if you wore a mask and I got a number with possible OTC before I leave. Florida guys are very lucky.

nicespice
4 years ago
“One more note. I also passed through Des Moines Iowa. The whole city smells like dog food.”

Did you visit the Lumberyard? I get the impression that place is a shit show during winter, but that club has a generally good reputation so I was curious.
Muddy
4 years ago
Yeah the Lumberyard was alright. Big club.
Muddy
4 years ago
But that’s the only club I hit there
blahblahblah23
4 years ago
Des Moines did have a smell when I was there. But I don't think that is a big deal. A lot of cities and towns with some sort of industry and/or agriculture have a smell. I would say be happy those places have jobs/money for the average joe even if it isn't a lot of money. Not everywhere is meant to be a white collar jobs area.
mike710
4 years ago
Day 2 in Tampa included stops at Bare Assets, which was lively and packed on a Saturday afternoon, Diamond Dolls again and Scores. Again, no one cared about wearing a mask at any of these bars. Scores was dead until after 10pm and then it was packed with dancers and customers. Diamond Dolls was a tale of 2 days. I walked in about 4 as the only customer and handful of bored dancers. The whole theme of the trip seems to be a date with a dancer as in 3 stops I've hung out with a dancer for about 3 hours and even had dinner with a couple at the club. I think it's a sign of the times in places that aren't as crowded as I've seen on other trips out here.
mike710
4 years ago
Day 3 included a stop at Thee Dollhouse. Have to agree with Muddy that the talent working there was the best of the clubs I hit there. A lapdance was only $20 and $30 at others. When I get back on my laptop will submit a review. Recommend Thee Dollhouse though. I had been there through the years and wasn't as impressed as I was this trip.
six300s
4 years ago
Just retired an moved to central Florida. Was up in the wasteland of Chicago, so had little to chose from. I will be in Bradenton area for about a week taking care of cleaning out my mom's house. Will have plenty of time day or night to explore. Not really looking for extras, but want to find a place where the lap dances wont run me $100 for air play and minimal contact. Have been to Mons and 2001, but that was 20 years ago when I was a novice and very under funded. Now, I can afford to spend some money. THANKS!!!
mike710
4 years ago
In the city of Tampa itself, I've had fun but nothing extraordinary beyond some ability to touch where you want. However, that was an exception and not the rule. I haven't been everywhere since I don't live there. Years ago, there was a bar on Dale Mabry called Ponytails that I got extras in but that place isn't even listed here and there is a Men's Warehouse where it stood now.

In Pinellas and Pasco, I have had a lot more luck with extras. Pasco is nude with alcohol. I got a fairly good dance at Diamond Dolls this weekend. Bare Assets has been good in the past but I went too early to find a good selection of women and didn't go in back. Both of those places can be feast or famine depending on what girls show up. Early afternoon is not a good time for either and it seems things are slower than normal in Covid times.
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