Long Island strip clubs are in a CRISIS

9/28/2020 9:43:29 AM

-Wade through a dozen of Trannies on the edison strip for a *chance* to fuck some 45 year old stripper that used be kinda hot in the 1990's.

-Get accosted by some Jamaican George Foreman look alike stripper at Le Cafe.

-The one upscale club, Gossip has so much GPS it might as well be a Garmin factory.

-It's amateur night every night (and not in the good way) at those shit tip parade bars way the fuck out east. It is just fucking pathetic.

-The one kind of normal club, Billy Dean's, you don't even get a door for the bathroom. CAN I TAKE A SHIT WITHOUT LOCKING EYES WITH THE FUCKING BARTENDER? CAN I GET A FUCKING DOOR? FUCK YOU BILLY DEAN.

/rant

12 comments

Latest

rattdog

•

4 years ago

this is what you gotta do - a long island iced tea version of a complex diarrhea cocktail:

this will be an all-day planned affair. eat things like taco bell, grapes, egg whites, white castle.

then head to billy deans. after a while it is inevitable to take a real nasty shit. you're belly is aching real bad so you're going to the john max speed.

when shitting please make sure you don't do any of those courtesy flushes. once people start taking whiffs of your running cocktail then just maybe afterwards they'll finally install a door.

datinman

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4 years ago

^ You forgot corn. The cocktail is not complete without the undigested floating kernels.

Eve

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4 years ago

I guess I won't be drinking long islands tonight.

Jascoi

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4 years ago

yeah. and i was gonna buy a 1.75 bottle of captain morgan’s long island iced tea. fat chance now.

Cashman1234

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4 years ago

I recommend you stuff a few paper towels in the toilet before you start your movement. A quick flush or two on your way out of the stall - there will be a filthy stream of corn and onions floating out towards the bar stools -

misterorange

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4 years ago

Wait a minute... is the goal here to get them to put up a door, or just screw them over and never go back?

Papi_Chulo

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4 years ago

"Long Island strip clubs are in a CRISIS"

You need to try the clubs in Short Island - rumor has it they are superior

Playademan

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4 years ago

Can they be in crisis if they were never good to start out with?

Muddy

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4 years ago

I’m hoping some fail and some good clubs rise from the ashes I’m at that point. It’s not the worst but come on the island go do better. Over 3 million people, they should have a great club in there.

rattdog

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4 years ago

ay muddy,

think another club will open up at the old gentleman's quarters spot in baldwin?

Muddy

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4 years ago

I kinda liked that place. I don’t know though.

TheeOSU

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4 years ago

Except for the trannies, *thankfully, it seems that you've been clubbing in the parallel universe of Cleveland.