Have you ever tried to track down a fave who stopped showing up at her club? How did you go about trying to locate her? Did you find her? Were you able to get back to where you left off like you hoped?
Yes I did. My ATF quit while I was out of town on vacation 8-1/2 years ago. I knew she was going to quit because she told me so and had been making the rounds of other clubs to check them out. But I didn't know where she ended up.
So I made the rounds of a couple of the clubs that I knew she had planned to check out and didn't find her. I then went back to her original club and asked around, and the bartender told me where she was working (which really pissed her off, she didn't want old customers to know where she was.) But before I had a chance to go visit her she called me and told me herself, then invited me to come see her. Which I did.
It turned out that after making the rounds of a bunch of other clubs she decided that she didn't want to dance anymore. So she tried to get a job waitressing at one of the strip clubs she had visited - they didn't have any openings but hired her to waitress at a nearby sports bar that the same people owned. So I started hanging out at the sports bar regularly, which is how we became friends. She later changed jobs several other times but always told me where she was going, and each time that became my new hangout. She ended up waitressing at the strip club that had originally turned her down. Then she moved 1000 miles south and became a massage therapist. And I still go to see her regularly.
But I think my story is fairly unusual. I doubt if most dancers want anyone to follow them like that (I was the only customer my ATF called when she quit.) If she wants to see you again she'll probably call you.
When my first ATF quit the business after a 2 year relationship OTC. She stood me up for a lunch date. Later I saw her at the club. Said that she didn't have time to talk but that she would be back. That was Oct 23, 2003. I have not seen or heard from her since. Neither has anyone else associated with the club. I could have tracked her down. I knew her real first, middle and last name. Her mothers maiden name. Last known address. 2 cell phone numbers. Email address. I knew where her parents lived in VA and shekitout actually had their phone number. I knew that she was in the Baltimore area and not working in a strip club. I knew the dancer that got her dancing at my favorite club. They lived in the same town. My ATF no showed for a lunch date with her in Richmond. I had/have the time and money to track her down. But why bother? Like FONDL points out, if she wanted contact with me she knew how to get a hold of me.
t
I'm usually kind of glad when a "regular girl" (I can't say I have an ATF, since each new one is better than the last lol) leaves, because I can try some new ones. It's frankly kind of inconvenient when a stripper knows you well enough that she bee-lines for you when you come in and kind of camps you the whole time, while you're seeing new girls you'd like to check out.
That said, if I wanted to track one down I'd first ask her friends in the club, after that maybe bartender or floor manager. Failing that, maybe call a few nearby clubs and assume she's using the same pseudonym - "Is Tia/Brandy/Jade/Madison/Hoe-of-the-week working there? Asian girl, long blondish hair? - or whatever.
But as I say, I find turnover refreshing, and I can't recall ever having "tracked down" a stripper.
I remember I did sort of not too many months ago. I hadn't seen one of my favorites in a few weeks so I called up her cell phone number and left her a message. She called me right back within an hour I believe telling me she was so busy, she forgot to let me know she was working the beach for a few months. I just said ok, I was curious, see you in a few months. I have had one dancer I remember track me down 2 years later and call me up out of the blue from another state. I think I did give her my phone number but 2 years is a long time to keep that. I must have left a good impression on her. I have wondered how life has gone for her since I knew her a little bit outside the clubs. One other dancer whom I only have recent memories of told me she's known me for many years. First she said only 8 years. Then after I got to know her better she told me she remembered the first time she ever saw me. I was impressed with that information. Then she disappeared one day. I never bothered to try to call her to find out anything. Time went by and I lost her number. I just figured traveling over 200 miles one way to a club near me every week and then getting stopped by the police the last time I talked to her with her getting charged with doing 90 was the last straw. So I left it at that. I keep meeting new dancers too and time seems to fly by.
Maybe the last dancer I mentioned stopped visiting because she wanted to have sex with me every time she saw me and I started telling her no thanks. Usually at 5AM, I just want to sleep. I remember the first time I told her no thanks she started acting like I wanted to break off seeing her anymore. Closest thing I've ever experienced if a dancer was stalking someone. However she was pleasant to be around most of the time. Sometimes it seemed weird when she mentioned little details about me from many years ago and I still can't remember anything about her from that long ago. I'm pretty sure she wasn't one of my favorite dancers and I don't even know if she had ever danced for me. Saying she remembers the first time she saw me and she was only 16 years old and she was talking to another dancer watching customers leave a strip club made me wonder. Overall nice girl but I wondered why I couldn't remember her from years ago. I may have to return to the club in NC one day where she says there is a pic of me among many many pics to see if I can find the one she said was there with me in it. I do get curious about dancers I've known but just let it go.
I don't know if you could say I "tracked her down", but I had the dumb luck to show up in a club where my ATF was working once, after I hadn't seen her for a couple years, and after I gave up on seeing her again. It was fun, but she has since disappeared. I wonder if this is it this time. The last time I saw her, she seemed disgusted by the business, but also unable, or unwilling, to escape it.
At least twice I've tried to "track down" a stripper. The first one I had known for a little over 3 years. She went upscale and offered me the choice of 1) free sexual services or 2) pay her much higher prices. I tried very to get her to accept the old rates because I had known her for so long. She replied she wasn't working at discount rates anymore and that she didn't even like charging me. She had offered in the past to be a friend with benefits, but I really think that is a very bad deal for both parties. At least I know it is bad for me. So we said our sad good byes and that was that. About a year later I run into her at an upscale club and she is thrilled to see me and I feel just so happy to see her again. She says she will be a regular at the new club and I explain that although it is out of my budget I would love to buy a few dances from her. She says any time you want, my dances are free. Don't be afraid to ask. We say are good byes again, but this time I promised I would visit on her work nights. I rush home, get cleaned up, stock up on cash, and rush back to the expensive club. I learn she has already been fired or quit. :( I tried to find her by calling the old number that I use to call her at. It was dead. I went thru other dancers, but unless they knew me for a good amount of time got the cold shoulder. The nonsense about one girl is as good as the next.
The other dancer it was just absurd how bad the timing was. Again, NO luck in finding her.
Shadowcat typed: "My ATF no showed for a lunch date with her in Richmond. I had/have the time and money to track her down. But why bother? Like FONDL points out, if she wanted contact with me she knew how to get a hold of me."
For what very little its worth I definitely would have bothered assuming it was my ATF. I would have wanted to let her know that she was cared about and to wish her well. Now would I have spent a lot of time and money? I'm too cheap to waste much money, but I'd invest some time. I definitely could be wrong, but I see her disappearing act as almost a cry for help. Would anyone miss me if I just disappeared?----and the answer it sounds like she received back was HELL NO!
It is like when the woman runs off in tears. Does she want you to follow her? Sometimes YES and sometimes NO. I'd rather err on the side of showing concern even if it is unwanted and unappreciated.
jablake, this was not a cry for help. This was a decision on her part to get out of the business. I always knew that she would. Too beautiful, charming, and intelligent. Did not come from a broken home, do drugs, no tats, no piercing except her ear lobes. And way to sexual for an old goat like me to handle. She was the clubs favorite dancer and she broke hundreds of hearts when she quit. Others that knew her will back up my statement. They include shekitout, pop and ShotDisc.
I guess to run after or track down a dancer or to simply call her would require knowing first of all that she chose not to come back to your club. If she ran away due to something you said or did, she may not want you calling her. Maybe you wanted to break things off with her but found it impossible due to the fact that she seemed to sense something and would always go down on you first as soon as you were alone with her. I guess that's one way to not break up. At least I haven't ever broken up with a girl who was going down on me even though I thought about it a few minutes earlier. I've had favorite dancers disappear for a few months at a time and then they show back up again as if nothing happened.
I prefer to just move on and forget about people who choose to leave without even saying goodbye.
To track down or not is actually a pretty difficult decision to make. Your ego will tell you that she wants to see you again and your little head will tell you that you want to see her again. And if she's dancing elsewhere and you're a paying customer, why wouldn't she want to see you again? So I don't think there's much risk to looking for her in other clubs in the area, after all it's logic for you to be there anyway. But if she's quit dancing, I'd wait for her to call.
Tried to track down a Vegas ATF several years ago w/ no success. Like looking for a grain of sand on the beach. With a couple of nearby favorites, my experience is that once you get the phone number, you find out there are soooooo many problems in their life that you almost wish you never got it. My preference is email contact, since it's more control for both parties. But only spotty results there too. Few replies.
I have attempted to locate a vanished dancer on several occasions. So far, I have located them twice, and was able to re-hookup with one of them.
SUCCESS
My prev-ATF (see recent discussion thread about sexual abuse among dancers) was fired from my "home club" because she kind'a went off on the deep end and became a heavy drinker after certain things happened. Once she was fired, I helped her find another club to dance at (used TUSCL to find and recommend - kind'a felt like a pimp [grin]). She went from club to club, and it got harder and harder keep in contact (had her cell phone disconnected, etc., due to financial woes). Eventually, I totally lost track of her. How'd I find her? I posted on that club's STRIPCLUBLIST.COM page, asking if anyone knew her whereabouts. I asked a TUSCLer to be on the lookout for Prev-ATF's sister that still worked at the club. Finally, heard word from my TUSCL buddy that he had talked to Prev-ATF's sister and got the name of the club where she was supposedly dancing. I then posted on THAT club's page on STRIPCLUBLIST.COM's page, and someone replied to that confirming that she was there, and gave me her new stage name. With that info, the next time I was in Indy, I went to that club, and as luck would have it, I found her. She seemed genuinely happy to see me, and we chatted for some time. I arranged an OTC for later that week, and left. As luck would have it, that same night I met my ATF (miss current). After spending a few nights at the club with ATF, I decided that I'd rather spend the time with her, than to OTC with Prev-ATF - that's saying A LOT because it would've definitely meant prev-ATF and I would be "listening to Frank Sinatra". Interestingly, I was chatting with Chitown at the club (ATF was deliberately not there), and received a call from Prev-ATF - she wanted me to come see her at her new club. When I got there we did some VIP together and it just wasn't the same - I told her that I couldn't keep our OTC appt., and left.
FAILURE
A dancer that I recently met and wanted to get to know better left the club unexpectantly (rumor has it that she got fired ... others say she just left). Either way, I again tried to use the same technique. So far, no luck. Bones and a few others here can attest to the fact that it's a huge loss. Still looking, though...
I go along with the "too many fish in the sea" line of thinking, but.......never say never. The ones I'm most tempted to hunt down actually aren't longtime faves. It's the girl I'm just getting started with after a few nights, or just one great night. I can't count how many times it's happened just in the last three years where I've met an amazing girl, then returned to her club full of anticipation only to find she's vanished. It's a real heartbreaker, having to forget about all those hopes you'd built up. You feel like you should try something, anything but to just shrug it off. I can relate to all those desperate looking posts you see on some boards - "Whatever happened to..." But ultimately, Doug's success notwithstanding, I think it's pretty futile, especially with a new girl for whom there may not be much to go on.
A couple of times, I've hit other nearby clubs, hoping to run into a missing fave, or checked a club somebody thought she might have gone to. But I've never had the commitment to make a real exhaustive search of it. The attempt feels so pathetically off the mark when it's just a dreary club with nobody there you care about. It's not my idea of a fun way to hit the clubs.
It's also like tempting fate. That's not exactly the term, maybe trying to outsmart fate? The thing is, the times I *have* run into one of these vanished faves, it's almost always been at the same club. Sometimes after months or years have passed. They've just taken some time off or moved away. In one case, she had moved 70 miles to work in the hospital three blocks from my house, unbeknownst to us both. So, my advice for the best bet of locating a vanished stripper is to keep going back to the same club, assuming it has other girls to make it worthwhile. And realize that life, and strip club fun, is what happens while you're waiting for something else to happen.
Interesting development... My very first ATF, whom I met at HH and spent a LOT of time with, and was also my very first OTC friend (only dinner on several occasions), might be surfacing in the place that I would LEAST have expected. It's been maybe four or five years ago when we were an "item". We "broke up" (actually it was I that got ticked off at something I probably shouldn't have), and I haven't seen her since.
Back in 2004, when I attempted to look her up using my "patented search method described elsewhere), I got a bite from a fellow dancer, saying that she was dancing at such and such club. A few posts were exchanged between that fellow dancer and I, with her going back to my ex-ATF. Supposedly, she knew who was posting (me) and was going to contact me, but never did.
Now keep in mind, this was one drop-dead, gorgeous girl - a body beyond description, AND a really nice, "wholesome" girl. She had a 2 year old at the time, and a BF that was supposedly out of the picture, however he still picked dropped her off and picked her up at work?
Any how, the club that she had "surfaced at" in '04 was Fantasy Girl in Kokomo. Recent discussion about another club in Kokomo that seems to have quite the rep for extras galore aroused some curiosity, so I went to see what was posted about this club called Diva's. Amazingly, when I started reading, I found that prior to being called Diva's, it was called Fantasy Girl. Hmmmm... Well, this afternoon, I took a look at STRIPCLUBLIST.COM in order to see what had been posted about Diva's, and shockingly, there was a recent post from someone, who obviously thought that my ex-ATF was still dancing there.
It almost has to be the same girl. Being that she is dancing at this place, I have to assume that she's much less "wholesome" than she was when I knew her. I can only hope that she's still a fraction as hot as she was. If so, I need to look her up!
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So I made the rounds of a couple of the clubs that I knew she had planned to check out and didn't find her. I then went back to her original club and asked around, and the bartender told me where she was working (which really pissed her off, she didn't want old customers to know where she was.) But before I had a chance to go visit her she called me and told me herself, then invited me to come see her. Which I did.
It turned out that after making the rounds of a bunch of other clubs she decided that she didn't want to dance anymore. So she tried to get a job waitressing at one of the strip clubs she had visited - they didn't have any openings but hired her to waitress at a nearby sports bar that the same people owned. So I started hanging out at the sports bar regularly, which is how we became friends. She later changed jobs several other times but always told me where she was going, and each time that became my new hangout. She ended up waitressing at the strip club that had originally turned her down. Then she moved 1000 miles south and became a massage therapist. And I still go to see her regularly.
But I think my story is fairly unusual. I doubt if most dancers want anyone to follow them like that (I was the only customer my ATF called when she quit.) If she wants to see you again she'll probably call you.
t
That said, if I wanted to track one down I'd first ask her friends in the club, after that maybe bartender or floor manager. Failing that, maybe call a few nearby clubs and assume she's using the same pseudonym - "Is Tia/Brandy/Jade/Madison/Hoe-of-the-week working there? Asian girl, long blondish hair? - or whatever.
But as I say, I find turnover refreshing, and I can't recall ever having "tracked down" a stripper.
O.
The other dancer it was just absurd how bad the timing was. Again, NO luck in finding her.
For what very little its worth I definitely would have bothered assuming it was my ATF. I would have wanted to let her know that she was cared about and to wish her well. Now would I have spent a lot of time and money? I'm too cheap to waste much money, but I'd invest some time. I definitely could be wrong, but I see her disappearing act as almost a cry for help. Would anyone miss me if I just disappeared?----and the answer it sounds like she received back was HELL NO!
It is like when the woman runs off in tears. Does she want you to follow her? Sometimes YES and sometimes NO. I'd rather err on the side of showing concern even if it is unwanted and unappreciated.
I prefer to just move on and forget about people who choose to leave without even saying goodbye.
SUCCESS
My prev-ATF (see recent discussion thread about sexual abuse among dancers) was fired from my "home club" because she kind'a went off on the deep end and became a heavy drinker after certain things happened. Once she was fired, I helped her find another club to dance at (used TUSCL to find and recommend - kind'a felt like a pimp [grin]). She went from club to club, and it got harder and harder keep in contact (had her cell phone disconnected, etc., due to financial woes). Eventually, I totally lost track of her. How'd I find her? I posted on that club's STRIPCLUBLIST.COM page, asking if anyone knew her whereabouts. I asked a TUSCLer to be on the lookout for Prev-ATF's sister that still worked at the club. Finally, heard word from my TUSCL buddy that he had talked to Prev-ATF's sister and got the name of the club where she was supposedly dancing. I then posted on THAT club's page on STRIPCLUBLIST.COM's page, and someone replied to that confirming that she was there, and gave me her new stage name. With that info, the next time I was in Indy, I went to that club, and as luck would have it, I found her. She seemed genuinely happy to see me, and we chatted for some time. I arranged an OTC for later that week, and left. As luck would have it, that same night I met my ATF (miss current). After spending a few nights at the club with ATF, I decided that I'd rather spend the time with her, than to OTC with Prev-ATF - that's saying A LOT because it would've definitely meant prev-ATF and I would be "listening to Frank Sinatra". Interestingly, I was chatting with Chitown at the club (ATF was deliberately not there), and received a call from Prev-ATF - she wanted me to come see her at her new club. When I got there we did some VIP together and it just wasn't the same - I told her that I couldn't keep our OTC appt., and left.
FAILURE
A dancer that I recently met and wanted to get to know better left the club unexpectantly (rumor has it that she got fired ... others say she just left). Either way, I again tried to use the same technique. So far, no luck. Bones and a few others here can attest to the fact that it's a huge loss. Still looking, though...
A couple of times, I've hit other nearby clubs, hoping to run into a missing fave, or checked a club somebody thought she might have gone to. But I've never had the commitment to make a real exhaustive search of it. The attempt feels so pathetically off the mark when it's just a dreary club with nobody there you care about. It's not my idea of a fun way to hit the clubs.
It's also like tempting fate. That's not exactly the term, maybe trying to outsmart fate? The thing is, the times I *have* run into one of these vanished faves, it's almost always been at the same club. Sometimes after months or years have passed. They've just taken some time off or moved away. In one case, she had moved 70 miles to work in the hospital three blocks from my house, unbeknownst to us both. So, my advice for the best bet of locating a vanished stripper is to keep going back to the same club, assuming it has other girls to make it worthwhile. And realize that life, and strip club fun, is what happens while you're waiting for something else to happen.
Back in 2004, when I attempted to look her up using my "patented search method described elsewhere), I got a bite from a fellow dancer, saying that she was dancing at such and such club. A few posts were exchanged between that fellow dancer and I, with her going back to my ex-ATF. Supposedly, she knew who was posting (me) and was going to contact me, but never did.
Now keep in mind, this was one drop-dead, gorgeous girl - a body beyond description, AND a really nice, "wholesome" girl. She had a 2 year old at the time, and a BF that was supposedly out of the picture, however he still picked dropped her off and picked her up at work?
Any how, the club that she had "surfaced at" in '04 was Fantasy Girl in Kokomo. Recent discussion about another club in Kokomo that seems to have quite the rep for extras galore aroused some curiosity, so I went to see what was posted about this club called Diva's. Amazingly, when I started reading, I found that prior to being called Diva's, it was called Fantasy Girl. Hmmmm... Well, this afternoon, I took a look at STRIPCLUBLIST.COM in order to see what had been posted about Diva's, and shockingly, there was a recent post from someone, who obviously thought that my ex-ATF was still dancing there.
It almost has to be the same girl. Being that she is dancing at this place, I have to assume that she's much less "wholesome" than she was when I knew her. I can only hope that she's still a fraction as hot as she was. If so, I need to look her up!
I'm glad to hear it wasn't a cry for help. Out of desperation I might have contacted her based on your description. :)