Holding hands in the club

avatar for Muddy
Muddy
USA
Very common. You and girl agree to get lapdances and she holds your hand to the dance area. I used to think it was a cute gesture but I don’t do it anymore. I’m not their little schoolgirl friend and I’m not some fucking cash cow to be lead around to get milked either. I used to think it was a cute gesture but if they go for it now I just swipe my hand away. “We’re not at that level yet” is what I‘ll state or I’ll go passive aggressive style and put the beer in the near hand. If she switches sides to get to the open hand I’ll say Hi and wave to some guy I don’t know at the other side of the club. I’m convinced it’s a mind game that I won’t play. It’s still a business transaction, firm hand shake at the beginning and end. Let’s not act like we’re in fucking preschool. My exceptions are if VIP/dances was good then Ill look the other way on it. What are thoughts on holding hands in a strip club?

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avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
5 years ago
yeah many dancers do this as you're walking to the lap dance area/VIP. i mean its only like a 20 second stroll to the dance area, so i don't really care much if they grab my hand. i guess you could say i'm indifferent towards this
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
5 years ago
I'm more like "go with the flow" Muddy than "angry overthinking" Muddy. It's a cute gesture and I like it, and it sort of gets me in the mood mentally. If I found myself thinking like you're thinking, "her doing this makes me be a cash cow being lead around", then yes, I'd consider stopping it, because who needs to get angry and defensive before we even get to the VIP? But that's not really the way I'm thinking, and I don't think of it as a mind game since it doesn't mess with my head at all, just a little cute thing she does that gets me in the mood for the VIP
avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian
5 years ago
My CF used to do this.
I did not mind it at all.
avatar for FishHawk
FishHawk
5 years ago
I am for any touching of nearly naked women I can get. If I didn’t like them enough to hold their hand I wouldn’t get a dance from them.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
In my dancer opinion, heck yes am I holding the customer’s hand. Many of these dudes have an even shorter attention span than I do. (And I have been medically diagnosed for that, so that’s saying something) That being said, I try make an effort to maintain eye contact and engage them and not make them feel like I am a pet owner taking them on a walk.
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
5 years ago
@Subra Lol although admittedly somewhat I am somewhat shitposting I am still the type to think about EVERYTHING. So I do overthink but it’s merely to protect what never enough money I do have at any given moment.

I have also tried switching it up and goin wedding style carry which has either resulted in a roaring success or immediately banned from the strip club. Feast or Famine on that one.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
5 years ago
I like the out of the box thinking though!
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
5 years ago
Try carrying her on your shoulders next. Or wheelbarrow for some extra fun!
avatar for gobstopper007
gobstopper007
5 years ago
If I don’t know where we’re headed I am fine with her taking my hand. If I am in a club where I know the location of the VIP rooms I will usually put my hand on the small of her back and walk together
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
5 years ago
I prefer to not have mt hand held as I walk to the private area, but I decide how i will respond on a case by case basis.
avatar for BabyDoc
BabyDoc
5 years ago
“…and she holds your hand…”

eeewwwww
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
5 years ago
If nicespice wants to hold my hand and lead me to the back room, I'm all in.
Might pinch myself to make sure I'm awake 😋 but let's go.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
Alternatively, visit the clubs Nidan goes to.

https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=6710…
avatar for Eve
Eve
5 years ago
It's not something I always do, but sometimes hand-holding happens without me even thinking about it. Usually, I'd like to maintain an intimate vibe with the customer on the way to VIP/the private dance area, so often, we walk side to side very close together and he might have his arm around my waist or my hand resting on his shoulder. I like to do SOMETHING on the way. It's awkward to me when we're both walking a good distance apart with no touching or interaction on the way to do a dance. It just strikes me as "okay let's just get to it" as opposed to "we're going to have a wonderful time".
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
5 years ago
Really it's more of a possessive gesture on her part shows that she isn't quite so sure that you'll get the dances with her, I'd rate it with the girl walks you out when it's time for you to leave more of a controlling gesture.
avatar for goldmongerATL
goldmongerATL
5 years ago
I don't mind at all. I also don't mind if part of their wanna dance is to sit and talk for a minute before asking, but to take my hand and rub or massage it. There is a bit of a connection that happens there. However, it does NOT turn my no to a yes about wanting a dance. I usually know that before she asks.

OTOH if her first move is hand down or up my shorts, that sometimes but not always changes my mind.
avatar for loganshard
loganshard
5 years ago
sorry, but we mostly are "some fucking cash cow to be lead around to get milked"
This strip-club life is fantasy and the more touch I can get with a naked girl, I'll go for it.
My dick will often begin to grow just by that touch. I love it all.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
5 years ago
Keeps the PLs from escaping.....😜😄
avatar for misterorange
misterorange
5 years ago
Subraman your first reply said it best. I agree 100%.
Sometimes a girl will hold hands with me at the bar while we're drinking and chatting. I like it. I've even given girls a foot massage while sitting at the bar, before heading off to the back room. Here's my take on any type of PDA with a dancer. I figure I'm there to act out a fantasy. Obviously I know it's a business transaction but as long as I'm paying for the girl to be my fantasy I'd like it to be as close to "real" as possible. A little sensuality makes it just a bit more real to me.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
Personally I'd rather be led to the VIP by my dick but that's just me, I'm obviously a hopeless romantic
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
5 years ago
Now you’ll have me thinking about something I’d never previously given any thought to. Geez, thanks Muddy. Lol. Just giving you shit.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
5 years ago
Yes but on a call. kids are here
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
5 years ago
lol wrong window
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
5 years ago
Although if any of you want to visit me, note that I'm on a call, but my kids are here.
avatar for Eve
Eve
5 years ago
^ I'll try to be quiet.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
5 years ago
Don’t be quiet with me, Eve. I want you loud and responsive.
avatar for Cristobal
Cristobal
5 years ago
For me it depended much on her vibe, if I thought she was cute and sweet then it was a sweet gesture but if she was just a porn star type then when walk to the dance/VIP room and have her by the waist and then squeezing her ass.
avatar for kingcripple
kingcripple
5 years ago
There is this dancer at the club I frequent, the last time I saw her she was very clingy. I suppose we
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
5 years ago
If she is holding my hands how can I grope her?
avatar for kingcripple
kingcripple
5 years ago
**continued because it phone is fucked up* I suppose we had become clos, she helped me find a new apartment, anyway the last time I saw her she held my hand the entire time we waited in food. Linking our fingers together. Then grabbed my hand as we left the Cabana. Again linking our fingers. It
It felt odd but I did like it.
avatar for doctorevil
doctorevil
5 years ago
Yeah, the hand holding thing is not unusual. I don't care for it either, but it's not that big of a deal. I figured they were doing it to make sure you don't back out and wonder off somewhere else, or dash for the door.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
5 years ago
I typically don't like it:

+ for one, I'm not into PDAs - I don't mind affections while we're sitting at a table or at the bar since that is kinda "our space", but walking across the club holding hands it's not something I'm into since I'm not into PDAs (drawing attention to myself) in general even if it's w/ a civvi out in public - I think PDAs/holding-hands is something more for young-people/teenagers (just a personal opinion) - I'd say on avg when one is out-and-about in public it seems more adult-couples don't hold hands than hold hands (from what I see)

+ as @spice and others mentioned, it seems many of the dancers that hold a custy's hand when walking to VIP or the dance-area it seems they are doing it to make sure he does not stray away or change his mind - I often see dancers dragging custies behind them like they were a mom in a hurry at the store dragging their kid behind them so he doesn't stray away and she can get done what she needs to get done - a dancer dragging me behind her as she's at full-speed-ahead towards the dance-area makes me feel like a kid she's dragging behind her when she's in a hurry - at times it looks like if the dancer was dragging a piece of of luggage in a hurry at the airport

+ other dancers seem to do it as part of the GFE-hustle apparently to make the custy feel special

I assume the custies into GFE, or into exclusively having a fave, probably enjoy it more - for those into variety or that don't look for GFE, I assume they are either ambivalent about it or don't care for it. As for me, I'm not looking for a civilian GF/S.O. thus don't look for one inside the club; I don't go to clubs to look for anything resembling a relationship or an S.O., I go to get my physical-needs met.
avatar for Jammaster
Jammaster
5 years ago
I personally love holding hands with a dancer while heading to the VIP. It makes me feel like I’m special to her.
avatar for WavvyCain
WavvyCain
5 years ago
They hold my dick to the vip, holding hands is so pre k
avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU
5 years ago
"You and girl agree to get lapdances and she holds your hand to the dance area. I used to think it was a cute gesture but I don’t do it anymore. I’m not their little schoolgirl friend and I’m not some fucking cash cow to be lead around to get milked either."

Muddy, I just read your post but I'm short on time and didn't read any of the other comments but I totally agree with what you said.
avatar for DenimChicken
DenimChicken
5 years ago
It's fine to have a preference but some of this logic is such bullshit.

There is nothing stopping a customer, being held by the hand, to just change their mind and walk away. Sure she could cause a scene but so what? Walk away.

If you really think you are making a stand by not getting "walked around", you should more than likely get over yourself. Nobody else in the club gives a shit what you look like when walking with a dancer.
avatar for loper
loper
5 years ago

Oh please say to me,
you'll let me be your man,
and please say to me,
you'll let me hold your hand.
And when I touch you I feel happy inside ...
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
5 years ago
In my view - it’s a way for a dancer to not lose their customer on the way to the back room. I’m sure guys have gotten distracted walking to the back room - and dancers have lost out.

Years ago a dancer came and sat with me at a filthy club and started holding my hand while I drank. There was no reason to do that - so I simply asked her if she thought we were going steady. She didn’t get the joke - but the old dude next to me laughed.
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
5 years ago
How awesome is a strip club review website where PLs can obsess on PL-stripper handholding and what it means and whether it's a deal killer.

Always happens with my CF and I like it, don't care if it's a sales tactic but she doesn't need to sell me, I'm sold. Rarely happens to me with girl new to me and even then has only happened when on our way to VIP for dances or a room. When I stand up to head to VIP I offer my elbow for her to latch onto and if new girl shifts to handholding, I don't mind despite sales tactic - I'm already sold and we're on our way. That's funny Cashman about PL getting distracted on way to room with dancer getting abandoned, that's gotta be a short attention span PL or a drunk one.

For something I can obsess on - uninvited lap sitting, I hate that shit despite potential for copping a booty feel. That, and bouncing during a dance, hate that shit too, my clothed uninserted wiener is not a bounce house.
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
5 years ago
->@DenimChicken: "Nobody else in the club gives a shit what you look like when walking with a dancer."

Exactly. And I don't give a shit what I look like to others on the floor.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
5 years ago
"And I don't give a shit what I look like to others on the floor."

Lurkers, take note. This is very, very important.
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
5 years ago
"And I don't give a shit what I look like to others on the floor."

That's a cool view and I'm with that to a certain extent. But understand if your getting dragged around the club like a donkey at a petting zoo it may not be the best look if you plan on dealing with the other dancers who might now be viewing you as an easy mark. It's gonna up to you now reel that back in. Hey it's not my money.
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
5 years ago
The good news for me is that with my tuscl funded PL education I'm not a mark. Or at least I'm comfortable with my clubbing style even if I am
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
I don’t think there’s really anything going on that’s a power move. If it’s not to your liking, resist having the hand and walk with her at a steady pace and I think she will take the hint without a care. Should work well enough ~99% of the time. For that 1%, can always make jerkoff motions at her and say “walk away, lazy puta” to reassert your alpha-ness 😉😉😉
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
5 years ago
@DTS not trying to come off like a dick (It might’ve read that way on second glance) but that’s just one way I might look at it if I’m viewing all the angles.

@nice I’ll probably hold hands with the next dancer I get dance from because I’ll get lazy but let’s have some fun with it and go over what could be wrong with it. I’m always looking for ways to improve in a club maybe this could be one.
avatar for etsutwigg222
etsutwigg222
5 years ago
I find it appropriate for her to hold my hand as we go to VIP, because soon I plan to be holding both sides of her head face down in my lap. Let her think she has a cash cow, just make her work for the milk !!!
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
5 years ago
🤔 well one way to deal with it may be to just troll. If she has your hand, then start playing thumb war and act all confused like you thought that’s what she wanted. Or move her hand to your butt and see how she reacts. Probably all sorts of things you can do there.

avatar for Muddy
Muddy
5 years ago
^^^I think I'm gonna do the wheelbarrowing from above, that atleast worth one free lapdance.

And in all seriousness, if I do hold hands I will be leading even if it's the wrong way. The dating, alpha stuff, I know a lot of it comes from douchebags but there is some truth and it just doesn't all go out the window despite being in a strip club.
avatar for TheElmerFudd
TheElmerFudd
5 years ago
I don’t mind holding hands but I don’t like being led. If she tries to lead I usually pull her closer then put my arm around her waist.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
5 years ago
I want her to lead me on.
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
5 years ago
Dude, you are doing this clubbing all wrong! Seriously, the gals that I wind up doing dances with grab me by the cock and pull me into the room. It is the only way that I will follow them. Kinda gives me a “Heads up” approach in that I fully understand what they are gonna do to “take care of me”!
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
5 years ago
->@Cashman: "Years ago a dancer came and sat with me at a filthy club and started holding my hand . . . I simply asked her if she thought we were going steady. She didn’t get the joke - but the old dude next to me laughed."
->@spicey: "start playing thumb war and act all confused like you thought that’s what she wanted."

These are funny. Wish I were that clever. I'm gonna poach your responses
avatar for loper
loper
5 years ago
Denim Chicken is right. Attributed to Winston Churchill: "When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place."
avatar for AlBundy1966
AlBundy1966
5 years ago
Papi_Chulo for the WIN

"Personally I'd rather be led to the VIP by my dick but that's just me, I'm obviously a hopeless romantic."

That's Gold Jerry!.....Gold!
avatar for gobstopper007
gobstopper007
5 years ago
Hand-holding is gateway connection to that golden unicorn, Holy Grail of all club visits - the ever elusive FRMOS
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
5 years ago
@nicespice who would make jerk off motions and say get away lazy puta we are nice folks here and none here would do such a nasty thing 😼
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