Lack of fulfilling sex life with my Ex-Wife
san-jose-guy
When it comes to sex, women are completely insane!
There are many of us here who have gone through bad marriages. Some of us are out of them. But some of us are still dealing with the ramifications. And then there are some who are still in bad marriages.
Is or was a big part of the problem just that the wife was not sexualized enough?
In my case, the wife did not want non-traditional sex to be a part of the marriage. She would never even consider something basic like genderswaped role play and pegging was completely off the table. She did not ever want to treat prostate stimulation as a fine art, something which should be further developed, ritualized, and cultivated. She wanted it to be as basic as possible, and minimized.
This was just the background she was coming from.
One result was that she was always sexually faithful. Sexual infidelity would never be a way she would try to strike back at me. But her lack of sexualization was a big reason that the marriage was not salvageable.
She really wasted her youth, and a large part of mine.
But it was also my own fault for being involved with such a person. I was short sighted and naïve.
Anyone else experience anything like this?
SJG
Is or was a big part of the problem just that the wife was not sexualized enough?
In my case, the wife did not want non-traditional sex to be a part of the marriage. She would never even consider something basic like genderswaped role play and pegging was completely off the table. She did not ever want to treat prostate stimulation as a fine art, something which should be further developed, ritualized, and cultivated. She wanted it to be as basic as possible, and minimized.
This was just the background she was coming from.
One result was that she was always sexually faithful. Sexual infidelity would never be a way she would try to strike back at me. But her lack of sexualization was a big reason that the marriage was not salvageable.
She really wasted her youth, and a large part of mine.
But it was also my own fault for being involved with such a person. I was short sighted and naïve.
Anyone else experience anything like this?
SJG
29 comments
I doubt most women consider fucking their husband in the ass while he dresses up like a woman to be "basic". Infrequent sex, boring sex, won't give head, these are the more common marital complaints. But hey, what ever goes on behind your "privacy wall" is your business, I don't judge.
Just take the seat of your huffy and ride through the park squeeling as you go over speed bumps..... pegging is basic, lol..... no wonder you live in your mothers basement
Lol!
Lol, who are we to tell the creep how to have his fun? :D
There should be no reason for argumentation with anyone.
Now true, I am not a recreational tourist in life. I do not live to spend money on escapism and services. I have far bigger things in mind such as pegging and changing the political landscape.
One may not need strip clubs in their home metro. Easy to take the longer time needed to court civvie men.
So I am not someone restricted to P4P.
Long time ago, when I was cheating on a spouse, yes, P4P pegging was the only way I thought safe enough.
But I dismantled that death trap marriage. So now P4P pegging will be more for going into new metros. I will be doing that.
Maybe just because I am not desperate I pose a threat to some people. But there should not be senseless argumentation.
SJG
SJG
And furthermore suggest that maybe she's bored and tired of fucking you because there's really just nothing in it for her?
My wife stopped giving me blow jobs after several years of marriage because, well, it's not really doing much for her, cause you know, she doesn't have a clit in her throat. And I get that. But, she's still down to fuck, cause I make the effort to get her off, instead of just dumping my load and rolling over to sleep.
SJG
Personally the way she sucked my balls was nice, the deep throat was good, and she could move through multiple positions in one session. I did not like stopping to take out or put in her teeth. I also did not care for her amputations, which is why I was one and done with her. She still calls fairly regularly but I have blocked her, nothing worse than a needy slut
Actually, that's YOUR mom calling me.
Why the fuck does she keep calling her asshole "the attic"?
And she thinks it's funny to call getting her ass fucked glee club rehearsal...
Too bad her pussy stinks so bad. Maybe she should go see a obgyn....
Another blood stain on my wall. And another intruder, likely suicidal, knocked out cold. May have a concussion. It he keeps doing it he will suffer from irreparable brain damage.
My f2f life is private. Makes no difference who does or does not like this, or even understand it.
Those who insist on challenging my privacy must be suicidal, no other feasible explanation.
SJG
But she also knew that these 6 girls she was close to from high school had all gotten married and it had always been a disaster. And I met one of her friends for whom it was also this way.
And we do have a divorce rate around 50%. And I believe that the marital dissatisfaction rate is higher than that.
I read accounts here and there about unworkable marriages. I see rigid gender structure and the lack of sexual exploration as the main issue.
SJG
Well after she had been pumping poison into it for two weeks, what would you expect?
Women always say that they want sexual exploration. But in fact it is more like their feelings have them.
A guy just has to get stiff and wooden, so he won't be manipulated or provoked.
My ex was completely disloyal, but it was never sexual. It was in just how she put up emotional walls and refused to be open minded about giving me what I needed sexually.
SJG
I had noticed that the Architect Frank Lloyd Wright, the Communications Theorist Gregory Bateson, and the Zen Teacher Alan Watts were all married three times. The second marriage was far worse, downright lethal. The third marriages were with women a good deal younger and they worked out quite well and were vocal about the importance of pegging in that success.
These men all did though maintain a certain reverence for the first wife. Alan Watts even maintained a long term friendship with his first mother-in-law.
One hypothesis about my ex-wife was that she was far more interested in the social status and social approval which comes with being married, than she ever was with a marital relationship. Really, I don't think she at that time had the level of maturity to enable her to know the difference.
And then of course that tends to prevent any discussion of pegging.
SJG
If you don't understand or respect privacy, then that is your problem. But I am the one who ends up having to clean of the blood stains.
SJG
During the years when I was trying to make it work, I was 100% faithful (other than pegging at AMPs). Zero going to even our local no touching and no private dance clubs.
She just did not want to allow the sex to be good. This was talked about with the first marriage councilor, and she got chastised for a kind of bait and switch. It was just her personal and cultural background.
SJG
Of course, he also wants to be the next L. Ron Hubbard, so go figure.
IT was good, to a point. I was not as sexualized yet as I would need to be. That would come later, when I met the ones I call "The Beloved Latina Escorts", they really opened my eyes to receiving anal stimulation and the male g-spot. And some of the SF AMP girls really are good too.
My ex-wife never wanted sex to be made theatrical, or ritualized, or intensified.
Yes, there were huge tensions which developed and the sex was sabotaged. But none of this occurs in a vacuum, and the past is never over. It is never even past. Statements to the contrary are denial systems, a kind of a tune out, or even a drug. No one can actually live well if they listen to such stuff.
And it is bait and switch, and she has admitted to such, and she was directly chastened by our first marriage councilor. What it really was is just that she was not dealing with her own stuff. And part of this is that she was not sexualized enough. If she were, she would have been forced to deal with her stuff. Penetration has to be reciprocal, and people who don't realize that will use it in very toxic ways.
SJG
What really puts her in a category different from other women I might meet, is just the non-sexual ways in which she made life into a death trap.
How many other people here have been married to women whom they feel were not sexualized enough, and what was it like?
SJG
What really puts her in a category different from other women I might meet, is just the non-sexual ways in which she made life into a death trap.
How many other people here have been married to women whom they feel were not sexualized enough, and what was it like?
SJG
https://www.bustle.com/articles/137828-w…
SJG
If people think it through a bit, they will see that you want to break out of the designed selection boxes. In a strip club, you do not want to let girls sell you dances. Rather, you select the girl yourself and let front room GFE happen. Get a FRMOS going and then guide her hand down from your back into your shorts. Let her know you are clean and she can finger you. People have explained that this is how it works in the best of the US dives, and in TJ.
Regrettably, Purple Dress Donna has died of leukemia.
As far as my ex-wife, I would not want to know someone like that today, not sexualized enough. In the end, not willing or able to satisfy. A prescription for problems. So I over look young women who come across in a similar way. Don't need to deal with them. It would never work.
Real issue is what relations of any type will I continue to have with my ex-wife. I would like to think that there will be some kinds of communications and support. But even at this juncture that seems very difficult.
SJG
Just like you don't let girls sell you dances at a strip club, you don't accept the type of serial line up they usually offer at AMPs. You find ways around it, to make the girl see that you are selection her and of getting her softened up before committing.
So anyway, I came over after work and was not sure if I was going to session. Then I spotted Donna, out a side door washing her car. So I went in and asked about her.
But they did not understand me. So they showed me 4 girls and I had to turn them down. Finally someone understood and went and got Donna.
Well that breaking the selection process. Once we got into the room, she had her arms around my neck and was pressing her entire body against me, and then soon we were DFKing intently. And the rectal stimulation that followed was sublime.
Well this is way way beyond what AMP's offer.
And then in the long years which followed, Donna would go to other shops in other counties, as LE was closing places down. And she would always select a new name.
But all I had to do was start calling other shops and tell the story about the car washing, and then the girl on the other end of the line would fill in about the Purple Dress. So they all knew the story. And then they would tell me Donna's new name and I could come and see her.
But my point is, you must find ways to break the selections process, in all these venues, as that is the key to getting the girl softened up and getting great GFE, followed by mind blowing pegging.
Most of these guys still don't understand this, but the one who does and who practices it continually is SJG.
Because I was married, I felt that I could not start seeing Donna or any others offsite. I knew that if I did that, then I would be making the girl into my mistress, and that this always eventually results in hurt feelings.
Regrettably Donna has since dies of leukemia.
SJG
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-…
SJG