Little things: Do they enhance the expirence?

On ASS-C we used to call that "stripper shit." The whole "game" of acting outwardly like a girlfriend, in order to get your money, was looked down upon quite stringently. But actually, now that I'm a dirty old man, I find that I quite like it. It isn't the "little" things so much as the "intimate" things. Personal touches, bothering to try to flirt with me, etc. I find it REALLY a downer when a girl just wants to launch right in to the whole "I give the best dances because I'm a professional ballerina" crap. What I want, is a girl who wants me ... or can fool my autonomous endorphins into believing that she wants me, if only for a little while.

Funny, but my ATF did somewhat the opposite. She never did the big hug and greet with me. And it took me awhile to figure out that she was treating me the same way that she treated personal ,friends who came to see her, and the only people who got the big hug and greet were customers, many of whom she didn't much like. And treating me like a friend made all the difference. It's why she's my ATF. It's why she became my closest friend. And 10 years later still is.

Most definitely it's those "little things" that keeps me coming back, and has placed my ATF solidly at the top. Before we took things OTC, while ITC, she never left my side - 'cept for potty breaks. She always made sure that she was taken off the stage rotation, and never even made eye contact with other guys when I was there. And yes, the way she greeted me and had me walk her to her car when we left (after closing the place) made me feel special. I got "the looks" from other guys that would see me with her and I could see there was some jealousy (or was that pity [grin]) on their face. She always made me feel special (and still does).

Its nice to hear that some enjoy this.. There are some that I greet like this and walk to the door as they leave, sit on their lap, all of thee above mentioned..
These are ones I just click with, enjoy being around, make my job fun.. Its also that usually if your getting that attention, you make us feel special.Sometimes one guy can brighten up my day when they walk in the door, and put a big smile on my face, and in turn a better mood for the day.

With my former ATF, whenever I entered the club, she would immediately greet me. She always sat with me. If someone bought a dance from her, she would return to sit with me. Here was this beautiful 21 year old Asian woman sitting with this middle age old guy. We used to even talk about how others seemed to observe us in wonderment. And YES, I felt VERY special.

Agreed. The little things make all the difference. It's how a girl becomes a favorite. I can never figure out why so few girls understand that.

Not any more than a greeter at Walmart makes me feel special. Too much lovey dovey reminds me that I'm just one of many PLs who get the same pampered treatment. I'd rather she acted a little more real towards me at times for the sake of verisimilitude: make fun of me, tell me I'm being obnoxious or boring, treat me like somebody she's comfortable with, flaws and all, so she can relax her guard and not have to pretend like I'm perfect and hypersensitive to any offense or to being left alone for a minute.

It's always nice to see one of your favorites and as soon as she spots you, her eyes light up and she smiles as if the day or night just got a whole lot better now that you're there.

I had one guy brighten my day yesterday. As I was posting that messeage yesterday, a few were running through my head, and low and behold one of them came in yesterday..
He is one of my ATFS to dance for, we always have so much fun, laugh and just click so well..

Chandler, I agree completely with your last post. When my ATF was still dancing, being with her was like being with two different people. When we were just sitting and talking our conversations were pretty normal, they could have occurred anywhere. They were often quite intimate, but in the sense that they were sometimes very personal, not necessarily sexy. There was never anything phony about them.

But when it came time for private dances, she'd put on a different persona (and so did I) and it became pure fantasyland. It became like a game to both of us and often turned out to be quite humorous because she was so playful. One time we did 16 straight uninterrupted LDs and by the end of it we were both laughing hysterically.

I loved being treated like that. No one since has come close. Which is a major reason why I stopped clubbing (although I haven't yet decided if that's temporary or permanent.)

FONDL, I have one ATF that I met 8 years ago that I could spend the whole day with him and not care if I make a cent from anyone else for the day..
He doesn't have a ton of money ,so its not like he is making up for what I could be making, I choose to spend the day, or what evertime he has..
I would do dances for him, and the rest of the world does not exsist at all. My club now is far away from where we met, and it is rough, he calls me like twice a year, and comes to see me, I wait on pins and needles till he does... He is one that changed my life, makes me a better person, and I have the stripper attitude I do.. I hope that some of you guys realize that some of you really do mean something to us..

EvilCyn, that's very uplifting. My ATF was somewhat like that too, she always seemed to be more interested in how people treated her than in how much money she could make. Which is probably why she made so much. I think the thing that made it easier for us to become friends is the huge age difference between us - I'm old enought to be her grandfather. But she's always been very confortable around older people, probably because she was very close to her grandparents. But I'm curious, is there much of an age difference between you and your friend? I've always found that some dancers enjoy being with a much older man, probably because many of them have never had a father But maybe I'm getting too Fruedian.

FONDL, I want to say like 8 years older... We had so many things in common, and musical taste happen to be one of the biggest.. I love to dance to old school blues.. The first time we ever made eye contact I was on stage doing a blues set, and from that second it was history.. It feels like we have known eachother forever, and the fun we always have around one other is such a great energy..

Evilcyn, the thing I find so amazing about my ATF is that we have so much in common, are interests are very similar, even though our backgrounds are about as different as you could get. It helps that she's extremely intelligent and very inquisitive. I always enjoy people who are very intelligent but haven't had a lot of formal education because they have such original insights, they haven't been brainwashed by the liberal educational establishment. I've found that people like that are often better at thinking for themselves than are people who are more highly educated. Which is a sad commentary on our educational system. I used to tell her she had the ability to see the world through the eyes of a child. It was one of her most endearing characteristics, it really made her fun to be with and made me feel younger.

We too both felt that we'd known each other forever from the very first time that we met. Funny how that happens sometimes. It's almost like you knew each other in a previous life.

FONDL, I so agree with thee intelligence some people have just in their own right. Education means nothing on how you view and deal with the world.
I have found some of the most educated people I have run into are so set on their ways of thinking, they can no longer learn anything else..
My ATF and I, and complete opposites in regular life, never would have given the time of day to one another I bet in any other situation. We have learned alot from one another and I will always be thankful for that..He taught me about the "little things" in this thread without even knowing he did..

I just got back from 3 days of visiting at my favorite club. I think that another "More erotic adventures of shadowcat" is coming.

But back to the topic. My favorites list has grown to about 15 now. While getting one of about 20 lap dances from #1 (not ATF...yet) I told her that in the last 6 months she had really warmed up to me and was taking the place of my previous ATF ( who she knew very well).She said "yes I have noticed and it is a good thing". Lots of baby kisses on the lips and a 500%increase in mileage from the first time with her about 4 years ago. At 4:30 today I was chatting with the Champagne Room Hostess who I have known for about 4 years. She used to be my favorite day time bar tender.No less than a 9 in any mans opinion. #1 comes out of the dressing room in street clothes. Comes over and gives me a big hug and kiss. Wishes me a safe drive home. Thanks me for spending so much time with her. And looks forward to seeing me again next month. (a nine, 27 yo and married). From the Champagne Room hostess " She is such a sweet heart". Yeah "Its always about the money!!!"

FONDL: I got ID'd twice from girls that didn't believe how old I was. I can start drawing full social security Nov13 of this year and continue to work without amy loss is SS benefits. Most guessed me for 50 yo.

FONDL, carama, destiny, or what ever works in mysterious ways..
Guess who calls me yesterday afternoon, My ATF, his best friend was in town ans wanted to bring him out to meet me.. I hadn't seen him since Dec.
I can't believe of all days, after talking about what an affect he has had on me as a person. He makes in.. Reminded me of all those little things so much more, I was reaching dancer burnout a little, he fixed it right up, and reminded me why I love this job..I will have a big smile on face on stage for the next few weeks..

No question, the little things matter. The little extra touches you get back. The direct eye contact. The warm hugs when you arrive. The walk to the door. The "real" kisses. I have two ATF's about 75 miles apart...and very different ladies. One in college w/ professional aspirations, living a 2-6 PM double life because she likes the thrill & loves the money. She's smart & totally comfortable w/ an older guy. And she knows precisely when to use one of those "little things" to make me feel like we are the only two people in the club. The other is more the stereotype: poor kid, quit school, single mom, bad judgement, not too smart but works hard & survives. (but she's incredibly hot in VIP). I "play myself" when I'm with #1 & we talk about a lot of things besides sex. I could see myself having dinner with her & going from there. With #2, I "play" a more blue collar guy who can empathize w/ her life & challenges. I listen to her talk about all the tribulations in her life, but mostly I turn the conversation back to sex--and she seems to be OK w/ that. We're talking about an OTC meeting, but I'm thinking it might be pretty brief in duration. With #1, I think we could spend hours & not bore each other. But with both, I'm pretty sure I'm more than just another customer. And that's a good feeling.

FinalLap: perhaps the reason you're doing well with these ladies isn't, so much, THEIR skills at "the little things" as YOURS at "playing" a given persona, or even just KNOWING that you need to play a different one for each.

We are all putting on masks all the time. But the masks aren't dishonest. It's more dishonest, in some ways, to proclaim that we aren't putting on a mask. :)

Finally someone agrees with me that it's all fantasy.