Ex-Dancer Comments

There are women who hate men, there are also men who hate women. Being a dancer or a strip club customer doesn't really have much to do with it. I wouldn't worry about it. There are head games on both sides. You go into a club, find a dancer you like and spend money on her. Thats what clubs are all about.

She sounds typical of a lot of dancers, not nearly all. Pretty bitter, and a little superior (and guilty) about how gullible her customers were. Whatever. It doesn't hurt to be reminded that a dancer's "good attitude" is part of the show. It doesn't keep me from enjoying it.

It's true that dancers wouldn't be dancing if they didn't get the money they get or hoped or expect to get. In that respect it is all about the money. Now if a few dancers start letting their feelings get involved and start liking a customer that is certainly possible as well. The only way to say truthfully it's not about the money is for the dancer to refuse to accept any money. I guess it may be the same thing if you're hanging out with them away from the club and money is not involved. Then you know the dancer may like you. Either that or she's looking to get married to a rich oil tycoon and get your inheritance.

Yes the job its self is about money...That does not mean we lie and or cheat, manipulate to take your money... Some yes are as dishonest as you could get...Some like me, enjoy the job, and don't mind doing thier job to make moeny, I'll rock your cock all day in the corner ding a lap dance, do I want you to feel relaxed, and will I be smiling, YES, I will be, thats my job..
Please realize there are dancers out there like myself who enjoy the job, and I only want to dance and entertain you, and expect to get paid for that job, not just trying to take whatever you may have in your walet.. You worked for that to come in and spend, so lieing and or manipulating someone to get their money is not for me...

As I have stated in the past, my wife was a dancer for over 10 years and constantly was coming home telling me that it was gernerally an act. She had to make the guys believe that she really liked them and would tell them what they wanted to hear. Every day she had to dress in clothing that she would never be caught in anywhere, put on piles of makeup and change her persona from soccer mom to seductress in 6 inch heels.

As she told me many times she felt bad about what she was doing and it was not really her. So my advice gents....take it for what it's worth. Entertainment value, and a fantasy most of the time.

I sometimes comment to a girl that I'm getting all horned up about, "Ooh honey you know how to make my fantasies a reality!" or "Let's really get me into my fantasy." I think involving the girl in the fact, that I as a customer KNOW that it isn't for real, actually gives her a bit more 'comfort zone' within which she can provide me with the service I'm paying for. It's better for her, because she knows I have self-awareness about the fantasy envelope. It's better for me, too, because it means I can't be "tricked" into something that turns out to be a false deal.

Book Guy, thats all it is, fantasy and entertainment... I don't lead anyone on to think its more then that, and love to dance for someone who enjoys it for what it is.....

Remember, the stripclublist.com boards are mostly trash talk where posters try to top each other's putdowns. Who knows what got this ex-dancer started. I think it's safe to interpret what she claims with a heavy SCL exaggeration factor.

In my expierence, when a dancer quits the business, you do not hear anything from them. They could care less. More likely this is a disgruntled active dancer. And not making enough money.

It's amazing how gullible a lot of customers are about a stripper's act. What some strippers don't realize is how aware many customers are of their act as we play along in order to enjoy the experience. I don't actually call attention to the fantasy the way Book Guy does, and I wouldn't like it if the stripper did. That would be like a comic laughing at his own joke as he tells it. Better to stay in character. Instead, I play along with her act with such enthusiasm only the densest girls don't pick up on the act I'm playing myself.

I believe the dancer that david120 read about is "not" the typical dancer or x-dancer.

Now... evilcyn is the typical dancer whom we should listen to. Let me explain why.

Last week I stopped into her club 'Bugsy's Speakeasy' in Elyria, Ohio. I spent about 4 hours with evilcyn. We did a lot of talking and getting to know each other. We spent a lot of time together during many LDs. (read my review)
I didn't spend 'what I consider' a whole lot of money, but I think she was pleased when I left the club.

Dancing is about 'income' and also about having fun and enjoying your job. Evilcyn is the "ULTIMATE" to this situation! BTW Cyn.... thanks for the great time!! :-)

We all know, just from reading and posting on this discussion board, guys have many different agendas when going into clubs, and also have many different views of what they have experienced.

I think it's also safe to say that we cannot generalize dancers on this topic, or most other topics. Of course there are dancers out there that are deceptive and manipulative. There are also other dancers that are just doing their job and not actively trying to make us think the fantasy is more than what it is. I believe there are still other dancers that are vulnerable - maybe they're missing something in their lives, maybe they're starved for attention or maybe they find themselves attracted to a customer for some reason or other.

Unfortunately, I think it's difficult - possibly impossible - to determine into which category a particular dancer fits. However, on the positive side, it matters not which category the dancer fits into, 99% of the time. The only time it matters in the least is when a guy finds himself feeling something for the girl.

HappyLapper, thanks, and yes, we were both pleased in thee end..

Dancing is a great job to me, and guys can take it for what its worth.. My goal is to make money and you happy all within the rules and boundries of entertainment...

I believe I got a clue that a dancer likes me and wants to be friends with me at a minimum. I already know her name and phone number and she was quick to suggest to me she would like to go see a movie I must have mentioned. The way she said it sounded like with me. What I'm not used to is a dancer making suggestions to see me but seems to be waiting for me to actually ask or arrange something. Having a dancer not be aggressive with me is something new. It also makes me wonder what she really wants. Then minutes later, I meet a hot new dancer whom I seemed to get along with pretty good. Don't know how much I will see her again since she said something about the long drive to Charlotte trying to stay awake by rolling down the window with 1.5 hours of driving one way and the cops pull you over if you go too fast.

Some dancer acts like talking about how good you feel during her lap dance seem to get a bit old to me after a while.

Just thinking, I heard a lot of ex-dancer comments from a dancer that quit or got fired for leaving a club 30 minutes early with me. It was her choice and she decided when she was leaving. That was many years ago.

I thought about this before but it probably would bother me if I had a job where I had to work for the opposite sex and many were unattractive and constantly trying to get together with me later. It's not my job but I know what it feels like to have someone persistantly coming at you that you're not attracted to. I've seen a number of dancers I wasn't attracted to that seemed to be a lot more friendly with me than I cared for. I tend to be nice to them instead of telling them the truth since you never know when one of those dancers or girls I meet may be a psycho or capable of getting revenge if they suddenly get angry at me for whatever reason. Some people may not handle rejection well. Now when a dancer I like wants to be friendly, I like that.

I think a lot of dancers are pretty disgusted with what they do and transfer that disgust onto the customers. Their superiority attitude is protection - they can pretend it's the customers who are the losers rather than themselves. I think it's pretty easy to spot dancers who are like that and to avoid them.

As I've said before, dancers are people too, and people will generally treat you the way you treat them. If you are honest and treat dancers with respect, many of them will treat you the same way. You both know it's a commercial transaction, but that doesn't mean that you can't both enjoy it. Many dancers enjoy spending time with some of their custommers. That's what I look for.

FONDL, don't think it's as easy as you say to tell which dancers harbor that kind of attitude. More girls than we might realize can treat us well and act like they're enjoying it, all as part of doing their job, and all while secretly feeling bitter about it. As long as they can pull it off, what's the difference to us?

Chandler: agreed. The act is a seamless one for them. I think this is part of why the irrationality, the unreliability, and the escape into drugs and alcohol becomes such a part of a stripper's "lifestyle." It helps them put on a new character for the customer, and then maintain that double-standard in the rest of their lives. I know that when I"m working a job I hate, but feel free to say, "I hate this fucking job, but it pays well," I have a decent life outside of work. But when it's one of those "You have to love it here to make it" and "We're all a happy team, no complaining!" things, where you put on that professional bullshit thing about enjoying weekend bowling outings with the fat slags in customer relations ... then I start to drink heavily.

We all love the fantasy in the club, and we love the company of the beautiful girls, but when you think about it, it's a crappy job. I know that I'd find it hard to act turned on and hot for customers that weren't attractive to me, and in some cases - maye a lot of cases - downright disgusting.

Add to that putting up with guys pushing the limits and trying to put things where you don't want them.

I've heard a lot of stories from my faves, about the way they are treated. Called names, cussed out when they won't do extras. Propositioned for sex.

My ATF was just telling me a few weeks ago about a guy that offered her $300 to fuck. She was in tears when she told me about it and kept saying "I'm not a dirty dancer and I'm not a whore, why would he say such a thing to me when I gave him no signs that I would do that?" I, of course, wasn't that surprised... I figure it surely must happen all the time with a hot girl like that, but she said "no, it rarely happens to her". She suspects that dirtier dancers get propositioned more frequently... uhh, yeah, I'll bet.

Another thing my ATF has told me about is rejection. You wouldn't think someone like her would be rejected much, but she told me the rejection rate is nearly 90%. When you think about it, it's probably true. I know even when I'm hot for a dancer, I may turn her down before getting dances from her. How do they handle rejection? My ATF refuses to ask anyone for a dance. I guess that explains why the dancers seem to congregate together, or with one customer, or even just hide out in the dressing room.

All in all, it is a tough job.

DougS, rejection is part of your work day as a dancer...
So is going on stage, dancing your heart out, and your ass off and not getting one tip, it happens...Oh well I am there to do my job and sometimes its better then others..
Not asking for a dance though, I can't even imagine not doing that..
Some days I don't want to talk to anyone, or be all happy and smiley, but still do it, still go talk and ask for dances, if I don't make money and didn't ask for dances its my own fault..
If I don't make money and was asking for dances it must be a feed the fat chicks night , and just wasn't my turn to make money..

I know of some dancers that I often tip on stage but they never ask me for a dance. One dancer has even occasionally hugged me when the opportunity presented itself on a few occasions. I have wondered why she never asks when almost everyone else has. I'm thinking maybe either she's a friend of a dancer that likes me or she isn't thinking of me as a normal customer.