I'm running into a lot more of this nowadays and it never ceases to sadden me. It may be because I'm a Dad and cannot fathom my kids growing up without their Mom caring for them, idk. Almost all of them seem to be trying to scrape up money for a more stable place or legal fees or both. I felt moved enough last night to contribute to one girl's cause and even rigorously consoled her OTC.
It's always been an issue with a certain % of strippers, but it seems like it's becoming more common now. Anyone else seeing more of this?
I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older (now late 30s) they’re more likely to tell me things in general. I know my current favorite is going through some things right now.
Having practicied family law for 36+ years I can assure all here that strippers are not the issue; the last two generations of parents shoul;dn't be allowed to raise marigolds let alone children. Too stupid to get married which can be enbded, so they have children instead, which is a lifetime committment, with no property division. Fucking doom for America when baby boomers ghet too old to take custody of their grandchildren.
Fathers that care, or want revenge, have a lot more control over what happens to their kids in a divorce.
If they have the money and motivation, a father can demand drug testing, dictate who a kid can live with etc..
I've seen divorced parents torture each other for decades with this shit. It is a baffling why anyone even gets married or had kids with all the risks involved.
Fathers have no greater right to demand drug testing than Mothers do and in the end it is up to the Court. In this jurisdiction both partied get sent for hair follicle testing. Keeps people quiet about each other. My longest running case (started in 2005) is a paternity case, so the idea that marriage is any way worse than having kids is asinine.
Marriage is nucking futz for men. So is having kids in this culture. A dude can easily end up destitute or even jailed. Want the government to have complete control of your life, get married and have kids.
===> "Too stupid to get married which can be enbded, so they have children instead, which is a lifetime committment, with no property division. "
Yup. The more insidious part is that it is widening the gap between the "haves' and the "have nots." That is because educated people still tend to have kids in wedlock, because they are smart enough to understand the value of raising children in intact households. It's the uneducated ones who have lost sight of the importance of this. I could go into a whole diatribe about the unintended consequences of social welfare system that rewards this type of behavior, but I won't.
I understand that sometimes women go into stripping or other forms of sex work because of a sudden crisis in life makes them do it and they need to feed their children. That’s life and gotta do what needs to be done to survive.
But that’s not the case with many of them. Seeing their behavior in the dressing room or seeing their Facebook...a lot of them are just simply irresponsible. And more broadly, certain women with emotional/impulse issues in general.
Those children are growing up to be a personal confidant who can’t leave them, unlike a man. To be a source of validation. And then be either a trophy to brag about or made to feel guilty for existing (usually both at different times.)
And the mentality is of general “what are these children doing for them rather than the other way around.”
I personally grew up in circumstances like that. My mother was bipolar but didn’t get diagnosed until she was in her 50s. And growing up under her was a constant walking on eggshells.
BUT somehow she managed to keep it together just enough to avoid any attention from child protective services.
So idk...I guess in my mind, if it’s bad enough that she is facing scrutiny then it probably just needs to happen. Pity though the foster care system will probably also be just as bad, if not worse.
"unintended consequences of social welfare system that rewards this type of behavior"
Exactly! There is a war on the family unit from many fronts that will have disastrous effects. It will take decades to play out with no easy solutions.
I actually think Nicespice said it best...a lot of strippers with kids do act like that.
Even the ones who claim they're stripping to provide for their family...they use the kids as trophies and spend money on inane shit to show everyone how well they treat their "little king" or "princess"......meanwhile its grandma raising the kid coz she gets too drunk every night, sleeps all day, can't afford her own place coz weed and purses are expensive.
I mean I've known a few who were good mothers. Some in their own way... like one girl who had 3 kids and a wannabe rapper boyfriend she was supporting... they lived in weekly motels...but she didn't drink, no drugs, did all she could.
I have known several strippers who lost their children. Drug addiction has been the cause. A few years ago my CF called me from the Child Protective Services office and told me they would not let her leave with her toddler. She asked me to speak to the social worker, which I did. The woman said "Bambi" could not leave with her child because she was using. Bambi asked me to take the toddler rather than her parents, which gives you an idea of how bad her family was. Of course, CPS would not give me custody of an unrelated child. They placed the child with a foster family.
I have 11 sets of grandparents that are clients of mine that are raising their grandchildren because the mom and dad are in jail, dead, stoned, or just general fuck ups.... one positive note is they can use retirement funds for college with no penalty
Dadillac, I sometimes don’t even hear the stories of why they need the money. They just do and then come to find out later through the grapevine why the withdrawals are necessary.
Meat, I generally ask what is going on so if we need to plan something different we can. Usually they open up about it if I ask, then I assure them they are not the lone ranger
Kids are the real victims in these situations and there are no easy solutions. If the immediate family is unable to help then foster care is better deal than a direct threat to their lives (but far from ideal).
Many cases as I worked in underprivileged neighborhoods the children would end up with family members, whether it’s uncle/aunts or grandparents having custody.
Generally speaking it’s the lower income tax people who do at risk activities because they refuse to take responsibility. Had a kid I took home and the glass was knocked out in all of the exterior windows, old transmission pulled out of a car on blocks in the front yard, and curtains were bed sheets covering what was supposed to be windows. Yeah, that kid wasn’t getting anything done at school except getting into fights, so you can’t tell me it’s the schools responsibility either to make sure he knew his ABC’s or basic math skills. The only way that child was going to learn the right way is if he was placed in a foster home with loving people who dedicated time for proper structured behavior. I doubt in his home life that he got much sleep or even anything to eat before heading off to school.
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If they have the money and motivation, a father can demand drug testing, dictate who a kid can live with etc..
I've seen divorced parents torture each other for decades with this shit. It is a baffling why anyone even gets married or had kids with all the risks involved.
Yup. The more insidious part is that it is widening the gap between the "haves' and the "have nots." That is because educated people still tend to have kids in wedlock, because they are smart enough to understand the value of raising children in intact households. It's the uneducated ones who have lost sight of the importance of this. I could go into a whole diatribe about the unintended consequences of social welfare system that rewards this type of behavior, but I won't.
I understand that sometimes women go into stripping or other forms of sex work because of a sudden crisis in life makes them do it and they need to feed their children. That’s life and gotta do what needs to be done to survive.
But that’s not the case with many of them. Seeing their behavior in the dressing room or seeing their Facebook...a lot of them are just simply irresponsible. And more broadly, certain women with emotional/impulse issues in general.
Those children are growing up to be a personal confidant who can’t leave them, unlike a man. To be a source of validation. And then be either a trophy to brag about or made to feel guilty for existing (usually both at different times.)
And the mentality is of general “what are these children doing for them rather than the other way around.”
I personally grew up in circumstances like that. My mother was bipolar but didn’t get diagnosed until she was in her 50s. And growing up under her was a constant walking on eggshells.
BUT somehow she managed to keep it together just enough to avoid any attention from child protective services.
So idk...I guess in my mind, if it’s bad enough that she is facing scrutiny then it probably just needs to happen. Pity though the foster care system will probably also be just as bad, if not worse.
I hear ya 25. She really hustled me good in my hotel room. ;)
I hear ya 25. She really hustled me good in my hotel room. ;)
Exactly! There is a war on the family unit from many fronts that will have disastrous effects. It will take decades to play out with no easy solutions.
Even the ones who claim they're stripping to provide for their family...they use the kids as trophies and spend money on inane shit to show everyone how well they treat their "little king" or "princess"......meanwhile its grandma raising the kid coz she gets too drunk every night, sleeps all day, can't afford her own place coz weed and purses are expensive.
I mean I've known a few who were good mothers. Some in their own way... like one girl who had 3 kids and a wannabe rapper boyfriend she was supporting... they lived in weekly motels...but she didn't drink, no drugs, did all she could.
Kids are the real victims in these situations and there are no easy solutions. If the immediate family is unable to help then foster care is better deal than a direct threat to their lives (but far from ideal).
I believe Rick mostly likes white girls, so it's probably heroin and or meth.
least that i can remember, the coke's getting to my fucking head dis days.
Generally speaking it’s the lower income tax people who do at risk activities because they refuse to take responsibility. Had a kid I took home and the glass was knocked out in all of the exterior windows, old transmission pulled out of a car on blocks in the front yard, and curtains were bed sheets covering what was supposed to be windows. Yeah, that kid wasn’t getting anything done at school except getting into fights, so you can’t tell me it’s the schools responsibility either to make sure he knew his ABC’s or basic math skills. The only way that child was going to learn the right way is if he was placed in a foster home with loving people who dedicated time for proper structured behavior. I doubt in his home life that he got much sleep or even anything to eat before heading off to school.
No need to criminalize the poor though. The most fucked up kids, school shooters rapists serial killers etc seem to be from well off families