How do you know when you're old?

The school I went to Kindergarden in was condemned and tore down about 10 years after I was there. It no longer exists..Things change

I found out I was old in London a few months ago. I got onto a crowded underground train and did not see any empty seats. Then a young woman stood up. I thought she was getting off the train, and so I headed toward her. But she wasn't getting off. She was offering her seat to an elderly man. I thanked her but refused to take her seat. I still have some pride.

As the girl and I were putting our clothes back on, she said how old she was. I realized the girl was younger than my son. That happened to me about 3 years ago.

Looking around a large work meeting and realizing I was the oldest person in the room by at least a decade.

When I was reading a Playmate’s Biography on Playboy Magazine and she was half my age.

Not old well used ;)

I sped up a little to get to a door before an elderly lady so I could open it for her. She was 80 if she was a day.

As she walked through she said, "Thank you sir."

I can't remember if I was with my son or wife, but I turned to them shrugging my shoulders and mouthed, "WTF?"

They just laughed at me.

When @25 teased me about being old.
Damn, that hurt.

^ Sorry Sir ;)

That I missed my window to ever have my personal style like this:
https://goo.gl/images/XhCbgc

Girls now think I'm horny, but cute and harmless instead of a pervert.

@nicespice. You didn't miss anything.

When the Eagles became “classic”.

The usual gray hair taking over my beard and the sides of my scalp. When I turned 48 I said "women get their hair colored all the time, why make a big deal of it?" - so I began going to a salon for coloring instead of a cheap barbershop.

But it also comes with thinking about stuff I did in my early 20s, feeling Ike it was all recent memory - and realizing the I have lived more time since then, versus the age I was at the time...

You know you’re old when @flagooner asks you to push him in his wheelchair to where they’re handing out the fruitcups

The word grandpa.............although there are dozen of other telltale signs as well.

@25
Huh?

I'll start feeling really old when I write something like this,
"You know you’re old when @flagooner asks you to push him in his wheelchair to where they’re handing out the fruitcups"

when i can legally have sex with a girl 50 years younger than me.

When you ask the stripper sitting on your lap what kind of music she likes dancing to, and she says, "I love the oldies, from the '80s!"

When you're old enough to know better but don't give a shit!

I always considered old, but not a senior-citizen, when you turned 50.

my elementary school still has the same carpets....

My one elementary school, junior high, and high school are all open fields or parking lots at this point in time.

@Papi next year your gonna change that number to 51 lol

My boss is originally from the city next to the one I attended high school in. I told him I used to live where I did and he wanted to know whether I went to North or East High. I had to tell him it was just one big high school then.

My wife reminded me as I read the comments, that last summer, as we stood in line at Cedar Points best ride, Top Thrill Dragster, that I commented that we were at least 40 years older than everybody else. 3.8 seconds 0 -120 mph

I was on the set at my old college (I lived in the same town and was on campus running an errand) and a student called me 'sir'. I cut my hair off as soon as I got home. Haven't been called 'sir' in the same sense since.

I had a lap dance this afternoon and I asked her if she had children. She said yes her son was 23 and... I missed the rest. As I was driving home I was asking myself when I really began to feel old. I had a lot of dental work when in my 40’s and 50’s. In my 60’s two implants and their crowns literally fell out of my mouth. When the estimate went over $10,000 I opted for the $800 partial plate, so I now can scare little children by taking my teeth out.
About a year ago I was with a gorgeous young woman, lying naked in my bed. We kissed and touched each other. I took each of her breasts into my mouth and she moaned while pulling my face tighter to her chest. I trailed kisses and licks down past her navel to her shaved pussy, which was perfect in my mind. Small labia, an easily discovered clit, her vagina easily accessible to my tongue. I inserted two fingers into her vaginal opening and moved my tongue in and out while my other hand cupped her ass cheek. I let the thumb on that hand lightly touch her anus and her moans intensified. She began to thrust her hips into my face while holding my head with both hands . I felt her legs tense and an involuntary shudder as she orgasmed and my face was dampened as the released her cum.
She pulled me up and said she was now going to reciprocate. She licked my left ear and blew softly across my ear. We made out and she thrust her tongue into my mouth. She moved her mouth to my left nipple and gently licked then bit my nipple. She used her tongue to trail down across my flat stomach ( well it used to be flat) where I used to have discernible abs. Then she took my soft limpid dick into her mouth and began sucking, then lowering to my scrotum and holding my balls in her mouth one at a time. She then gave my peony’s her full attention holding it out straight she used the tip of her tongue right under the head; a mans greatest sensitive spot wher h7ndreds of thousands of nerve endings transmit pleasure to the brain releasing dopamine throughou5 the body. Except to my cock. Still limp. Flaccid, unmoving. Unnerving . I’ve had times when I couldn’t get off, but I’ve
Always been able to fuck. Here she was wet in anticipation, eager to bring me the ultimate pleasure and I couldn’t
Rise to the occasion. She was a sweetheart, telling me not to worry, all older men have troubled from time to time. It might be stress, one of those 12 prescription meds I take every day or a combination of several. What did I read last week? That the majority of doctors are really weak in pharmacology. My daughter telling me in med school pharmacology was the toughest course because it required a good foundation in organic chem. My mind wandered. She snuggled. She held my limp penis and scrotum in her hand and gently held my failed attempt to convince myself that this wouldn’t happen again. Maybe I’ve developed a tolerance to Viagra. Maybe try Cialis.
I’m in my 70’s now. I’m old.

Gawker, that was really descriptive!

I’ve been otc several times recently with a 41 year old dancer - who is bat shit crazy - but with a body of a 21 year old. She’s still over a decade younger than I am! So I’m old as shit!

I still think of The Wall as a Pink Floyd album - and an odd movie with Bob Geldof. Thats old!

When you start getting junk mail from AARP.

When a dancer told me that for a guy my age my dick got hard really fast.

What was the question?

My first aging moment happened when I was about 30. A very attractive 18 or 19 yo was sunning herself by the yacht club pool in a very tiny bikini. It was a bright day and she wasn't wearing sunglasses. I expressed my concern as I passed (My motives were pure! No, really!) and looked up and said, "Sir?"

My first thought was, I'm old. My second was, "I should just kill her, but there must be thirty witnesses here....."

BTW, I was still single at that time......lol

Not certain. I guess I finally realized just how d I am when it dawned on me that my wife’s parents are younger than I am. Kinda weird, but works for me!

Not certain. I guess I finally realized just how d I am when it dawned on me that my wife’s parents are younger than I am. Kinda weird, but works for me!