I know what the word means (of course) but I'm not sure how that translates to behavior towards the dancer in a extras-friendly Detroit club. Any advice?
Take charge, tell her what to do. Do what you want to her without asking for her permission. If she makes painful noises or something, you can ask her if it's too hard or if she's ok, but otherwise if she doesn't tell you to stop, have your way with her.
Just because you are in charge doesn't mean you should be selfish. She's letting you control the sexual pleasure for both of you; you get to decide how much she gets to enjoy it or if it's going to be painful or something in between.
Consent is a key concept in bdsm as it is in anything else. You might be fine if you spank her or choke her or pull her hair or order her around, but why not see what she's into first, just to make sure you're not stepping over her lines, since "I'm a sub" could mean anything? I've been doing bdsm in the VIP room for decades, and if we didn't discuss what she l likes out on the floor, then I: very lightly spank her, "can I spank you?", she says "yes" (or more typically, "harder!"), I spank her harder. Repeat exercise for nipple pinching, pussy spanking, hair pulling, etc. (although for these things, I'll ask before I even touch). IMO, don't do things without asking until you and she know what's what. You also get to be forward in what she should be doing -- move your ass over here, grind your pussy on my hand, call me sir, faster, slower, etc. Some strippers are crazy into it, others just want light play
It's super super fun, but double down on clear consent, and your follow-up dances can be mind-blowing
Another endorsement for what Subraman said. You must keep in mind who’s *really* in control in a dom/sub (or domme/sub) relationship. Hint: It’s not the dom.
The sub is willingly relinquishing a certain amount of that control, with limits, to the dom, and as long as you stay within those limits (even if you occasionally make her think you might push them), and you will have, as Subraman says, some of the most mind blowing experiences you’ve ever had.
subraman covered it well . I'll add two things. ask her to wear a collar. use the rings to guide her. Consider getting another dancer to join you. As long as the second dancer is at least a bit of a dom, the show will be worth every penny.
Start with some light spanking and a hand around her throat, see if she likes that. If she says no, back off. Really it’s just all about communication and finding out concretely what she’s into or not into. You can be in control and dominant in a way that respects her boundaries and desires.
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Just because you are in charge doesn't mean you should be selfish. She's letting you control the sexual pleasure for both of you; you get to decide how much she gets to enjoy it or if it's going to be painful or something in between.
It's super super fun, but double down on clear consent, and your follow-up dances can be mind-blowing
The sub is willingly relinquishing a certain amount of that control, with limits, to the dom, and as long as you stay within those limits (even if you occasionally make her think you might push them), and you will have, as Subraman says, some of the most mind blowing experiences you’ve ever had.
she's a hooker and you're paying her, its not normal sex so its about you. Now just make sure you pay for a bdsm session and not just sex.
Beyond that it varies