A dancer told me she was a "sub." How should I treat her in a VIP dance?

avatar for Electronman
Electronman
Too much of a good thing is never enough
I know what the word means (of course) but I'm not sure how that translates to behavior towards the dancer in a extras-friendly Detroit club. Any advice?

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avatar for Liwet
Liwet
6 years ago
Take charge, tell her what to do. Do what you want to her without asking for her permission. If she makes painful noises or something, you can ask her if it's too hard or if she's ok, but otherwise if she doesn't tell you to stop, have your way with her.

Just because you are in charge doesn't mean you should be selfish. She's letting you control the sexual pleasure for both of you; you get to decide how much she gets to enjoy it or if it's going to be painful or something in between.
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bubba267
6 years ago
Some light choking and head control during oral is probably in order.
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Subraman
6 years ago
Consent is a key concept in bdsm as it is in anything else. You might be fine if you spank her or choke her or pull her hair or order her around, but why not see what she's into first, just to make sure you're not stepping over her lines, since "I'm a sub" could mean anything? I've been doing bdsm in the VIP room for decades, and if we didn't discuss what she l likes out on the floor, then I: very lightly spank her, "can I spank you?", she says "yes" (or more typically, "harder!"), I spank her harder. Repeat exercise for nipple pinching, pussy spanking, hair pulling, etc. (although for these things, I'll ask before I even touch). IMO, don't do things without asking until you and she know what's what. You also get to be forward in what she should be doing -- move your ass over here, grind your pussy on my hand, call me sir, faster, slower, etc. Some strippers are crazy into it, others just want light play

It's super super fun, but double down on clear consent, and your follow-up dances can be mind-blowing
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Do exactly as Subraman says. Sub girls can be a lot of fun, but don't get carried away. At least not until there's a fair level of built up trust.
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twentyfive
6 years ago
I thought sub girls made sandwiches;)
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georgmicrodong
6 years ago
Another endorsement for what Subraman said. You must keep in mind who’s *really* in control in a dom/sub (or domme/sub) relationship. Hint: It’s not the dom.

The sub is willingly relinquishing a certain amount of that control, with limits, to the dom, and as long as you stay within those limits (even if you occasionally make her think you might push them), and you will have, as Subraman says, some of the most mind blowing experiences you’ve ever had.
avatar for K
K
6 years ago
subraman covered it well . I'll add two things. ask her to wear a collar. use the rings to guide her. Consider getting another dancer to join you. As long as the second dancer is at least a bit of a dom, the show will be worth every penny.
avatar for gentleman6555
gentleman6555
6 years ago
Start with some light spanking and a hand around her throat, see if she likes that. If she says no, back off. Really it’s just all about communication and finding out concretely what she’s into or not into. You can be in control and dominant in a way that respects her boundaries and desires.
avatar for Electronman
Electronman
6 years ago
Very helpful, especially with navigating the boundary between being dominant (to match her sub role) and still insuring that consent if freely given.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
A real sub won't want you to ask her , dominance comes from the inside not outside. just try to take control of the situation and do what you want.

she's a hooker and you're paying her, its not normal sex so its about you. Now just make sure you pay for a bdsm session and not just sex.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
6 years ago
Generally speaking any woman who identifies as sub will enjoy a smack on the ass and you ordering her to do things.

Beyond that it varies
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