Imperfect Women?

I think strip-clubbing, and internet porn, have essentially "ruined" most women for me. I view non-ideal body-types as something "wrong" or "maladaptive" about any female I meet in the civilian world. In fact, I sometimes have that attitude toward strippers whom I see, too, if I think their bodies are disproportionate some way.

This is not a desire for a single body-type among all women. In fact, I don't mean to indicate that the bodies of which I approve, have to be of a particular ONE single stereotype. Rather, I mean, that there are indeed a lot of types of which I would approve, but aside from those, when I see a type of which I disapprove, I REALLY strenuously disapprove.

This is also not a defense of my disapproval. I am not saying that I OUGHT to disapprove, I'm just saying, I have an instantaneous, rather visceral, almost hard-wired reaction, when I see the people. It's something having to do with my desire to avoid disease; it feels like the same kind of disgust that I feel when I see someone with open sores on their face, for example. I don't "blame" the person suffering from the open sores, but I do feel like, "Well, there's someone whom I should not get very close to." I might even wish them well -- if it's Christmas time, you know, that kind of thing, I want to offer alms to those less fortunate than I am -- and hope that their disease is getting better. But I have that same response, to a lesser degree, when I see women whose bodies are disproportionate.

I've been thinking about this, and have categorized some types of shapes of people that get my disapproval. One is simply, someone who needs to work out. Fatness bugs me. But it doesn't but me half as much as some of the other types. Another type is, the woman who was born with small-socketed tits. I know, this seems like a strange thing to say, so here's a quick explanation -- for me, the CONNECTION ZONE of her tits is something important. I don't actually examine her connection-zone proportions when I look at her, and it's not a conscious decision, but I notice that my responses do reject women whose breasts' skin at the point where the breast connects to the chest is small, especially if it's smaller than the skin which defines the diameter of the breast. So, small connection-zone size really really bugs me. It REALLY overwhelmingly bugs me if the connection zone is small AND the ass is large, and it's even WORSE if you get all three of (1) large ass, (2) small connection zone, (3) long dangly tits.

I know, these are silly judgments. I feel like there's absolutely no good reason for me to have these judgments. I feel like I "ought" to be able to think about what a nice person the human being is, whether or not she's kind to small animals, whether she ever had drug addictions, does she have daddy-issues, etc. etc.. But I don't. I see her ass-tits-connection-zone ratios and AUTOMATICALLY, I start judging her. "That chick is a fat lazy slag who never bathes, fucks horses, and doesn't mind eating regurgitated baby-food" is the sort of (probably extremely wrong) unreasonable judgment that it feels like my body is having, about the woman. Then, when I see Ariana Marie, or another porn-starlet whose body is IN proportion, I instinctively make the opposite (probably again extremely wrong) judgment, that she is a sweet kind person and that her hygiene is good, her knowledge of higher math would excite me, and her sneezes don't include virus-laden human-mucus effluent.

What's wrong with me? I would very much like to be able to see strippers whose bodies are not of my preferred type, and think to myself, "well, that woman is not the shape of woman with whom I wish to spend time, but I bet there are other men who like that type of body." Instead, what I think to myself, inherently, automatically, is usually, "well, that woman is not the shape of woman with whom I wish to spend time, and furthermore, WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS, GETTING NAKED IN FRONT OF US AND RUINING OUR DAY!!??" That's what goes through my brain. Can't really help it. I do try to turn it off, and be more open-minded, but my first instincts usually overtake me.

So, are these women who are un-approved by me a threat to me? Of course not. I can just say, "No thanks," and not get a dance. I can look at the TV screen. But I do wonder, why does the human species do such a bad job of making sexy ladies? We have so few of them who are fuck-worthy, so little a ratio of awesome hotness to absolutely useless slags. There are slags everywhere! What happened? This does not seem very genetically pro-adaptive to me. I am amazed at how the human genome can continue to pass along, generation after generation, some really really undesirable female characteristics. Given that one must assume that males are essentially idiots when it comes to making choices for longer-term partners (heterosexual males trying to create a permanent pair-bond with a heterosexual female want a woman with hot looks; that is pretty much the end of it) wouldn't it make sense that we had breeded out of our gene pool all these fat-assed slags?

I simply don't understand the phenomenon, and would wish (though I know this is an irrational and probably un-fulfill-able wish) that the women that are disproportionate would disappear (and I also know, that there are of course a lot of other good reasons for a person to exist, other than whether or not she has a body which visually pleases me).