Is anyone here a sugar daddy? Why do you do it?
Vantablack
GOODBYE TUSCL!! :)
What does a sugar daddy really get out of sugaring someone? I know sex is typically involved, but aside from that what else would you get? Doesn't it ever bother you knowing the girl is playing pretend just so she can get a paycheck from you every month? I can't imagine paying thousands every month just for that.
92 comments
Either that or sugar babies are more educated and classy. One of those two.
I have considered it, at the $200-250 per meet range that is something l could afford weekly (and all I want is LDKs) and for that I would probably be able to get 3-5 hours of time including a fun activity (hike, movie, museum), lunch/dinner, and an orgasm at a hotel. If I remember correctly that $250 amount was what you were giving you ATF to hang with her at the SC. Wouldn't you rather do that OTC and do some fun activities with her?
Past that unlike the SC I would argue that sugar babies are way less "pretend" than strippers. If you read the sugaring forum it seems that finding genuine connection is really important to both sides of the arrangement.
If I do it, it would be pay per session, maybe 2-4 times a month. Not even sure if I'd want intercourse, to be honest. More interested in some form of GFE and maybe oral (giving and receiving).
This much I am certain: It would be discrete, private encounters at my home or a hotel. I would not want to be seen in public accompanied by a woman 30-40 years younger than me. I know some older guys look at that as a badge of honor and an ego stroke, but I'd feel uncomfortable standing out in a crowd like that.
From what I can tell, much of what you think you know about sugaring is wrong. Who told you it's thousands a month? It can be, but not everyone is paying that. Why, for example, do you think it's any more expensive than typical great OTC? And, in that case, why aren't you questioning OTC?
It's just another fun option in the sex industry.
So, to answer your question, what do we get? Sometimes just a physical connection. Sometimes a new friend. Sometimes something even more than that. Though, I'm not even 30, so my view is understandably skewed.
Ah, ok ... I dunno, when I don't understand something, I ask what it's like, I don't ask contrived questions about made-up assertions. But that's just me. Anyway, easy then - the reason you're confused about it is because you don't understand it. Learning about sugaring by reading online articles is like learning about strip clubbing by reading those "how to behave in an strip club" articles in Cosmo.
In a traditional sd/sb arrangement, the girl is not a professional sex worker. So you can find girls who are less mechanical.
You get to fuck a sweet piece of ass!
Its more of a relationship, as you might provide her with a monthly allowance.
You get to fuck a hot young woman!
You get to think not everyone is fucking your girl.
You get to fuck a hot girl!
You don’t need to hit a strip club to get otc - or search sketchy sites for whores.
You fuck a younger woman!
So, to pick a nit -- by definition, an SB is a professional sex worker. But the spirit of what you're saying stands... differences with other professional sex workers (these things don't apply to the more escort-like girls B.Ho is finding and juice is pretending to find on SA):
1. Unlike an AMP, escort, stripper in an extras club, she won't be fucking 4 other guys per day (she may, of course, have other SDs and be fucking guys in her personal life)
2. She's a woman who would often would never have chosen professional sex work, if not for the existence of arrangements. This impacts me less since I tend to drift towards wild party girls anyway (not always, but often), but for guys preferring smart college girls, etc., they have options they'd never have.
3. She hand picks her SD, and often will reject many before picking one. On the reddit sub, the standard advice experienced SBs give to new SBs is "expect to spend weeks or months finding a good SD, don't get frustrated if it takes that long".
Arrangements are all over the map, from relatively disconnected "hotel-only" arrangements, to arrangements where there's lots of more engagement. The fact is, the way I've treated my ATFs -- long (sometimes overnight) OTCs, social media entanglement, frequent texting, etc. -- is somewhat indistinguishable to me from the arrangements I've found.
I expect none of this to be appealing to guys who don't even like OTC, or want a more escort-like all-business completely-transactional experience.
They are, and they know it and acknowledge it. The only place where there's a belief that SBs are in denial over this, is in non-arrangement forums, where it's just something guys like to believe.
*** I should say, I'm sure there are newbie SBs who are in denial over this -- in fact, this suspension of disbelief is what allows them to take that step into sugaring in the first place. But IME, they all eventually get there
Maybe this has been brought up in the past, but it is the first time I have internalized it.
Subra brings up a good point in identifying a difference in the dynamic. Unlike an escort, the SB decides who she will and who she won't build a relationship with. Like with a stripper OTC. If you make the cut, the experience would likely be better than with an escort.
I did the same when guys were suggesting $500(+) visits were ideal. I tried it a few times. I see what they say, you do get treated better, but it's not for me at this point in my life. The value isn't there. Too rich for my blood and budget. But I won't make a blanket statements about it nor be judgemental about it.
I did the same when guys were suggesting (favorites) CFs, ATFs, or regular & frequent visits (like once a month or once a week). I even tried it 3 times within 10 days of each other. Again, I can see what they are saying. You build rapport and the dancer(s) respond(s) in kind. But, it's just not for me. The value for time and $$$ isn't there. Not right now in my life. I won't make a blanket statements about it nor be judgemental about it. Just rather, I gathered information made an informed decision to try it, tried it, then reflected that it wasn't for me. I left it at that.
Where I am at today isn't where I am going to be in the future. Things always change.
For me, strip club have never been a substitute for real world relationships with women. It's always a supplement, much smaller in time and $$$ commitment than real life. It's much more fulfilling that way. That's just me. I've never felt compelled to try as escort, sb, or a prostitute. The value for me is not there but for other guys who want no strings access to hot women (main or on the side), I totally get it! I just can't make blanket statements about it. That's too judgemental.
I’d say so. There are some who fully acknowledge themselves as sex workers.
But there’s a lot who are also in denial about being sex workers. And they want to think of themselves better than escorts, strippers, etc (Which to me indicates some amount of self-delusion and insecurity. At a level even worse than strippers)
As long as a sugar baby genuinely likes her sugar daddies, then it would be something more preferable over other kinds of sex work. But this requires a female who naturally prefers older men anyways.
But there are many others who are not. And those types I just think to myself wtf?
She gets feelings for the consistent $$$ or the relationship would continue without the payments.
I think you're over thinking it. Either you just innately enjoy it or you don't. Otherwise what do you get out of any of it, like OTC? I like hot, young women, too. It's just another option in the sex industry. If clubs around here didn't do it for me, I check out something else. Usually guys are pretty simple.
We like you too but speak up if you have something to say !
Why?
The sex is out of this world awesome.
She’s seriously non-demanding.
She knows I’m attached and not inclined to change that.
I love her.
You might want to try to avoid that last one...
As for strippers, etc. I stopped worrying about if they like me, what they think of me, or "Doesn't it ever bother you knowing the girl is playing pretend just so she can get a paycheck from you every month?" Nah. I worry about my own enjoyment. I only worry what I wife thinks of me and my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Which part?
What is the difference??
In a Sugar relationship you are investing in someone. You take care of some of her expenses, you help her with keeping up her appearance, or it could be helping with her education expenses or investing in a business she’s been dreaming of starting, or you take care of her travel so she can join you on a trip. You are helping someone in ways besides just paying for their time or their pussy.
When you guys are saying you have a sugar relationship and you pay $200-250 per week, no, you just have a regular p4p meetup. Nothing wrong with that.
Sugar relationships are more like dating. You take care of your baby so she can impress when you are out, whether that is accompanying you to a business meeting (you helped with her education expenses, she’s smart and your associates admire and appreciate her joining you), or on vacation (you’re a simple guy and you want everyone to see how hot your partner is while you’re at the pool, you helped her get a gym membership and helped with some attractive body modifications, etc., because you like the attention). You spend time together and get to know one another and you help her to improve her life and eventually maintain a lifestyle that suits and meshes with yours.
These relationships aren’t for everyone, also not every girl has the same list of needs. But just saying, what you guys are describing here is p4p.
A sugar baby is a sex worker.
Past that pinksugardoll, I would honestly expect you to be someone who could absolutely command a much higher allowance than a 20 year old girl next door type. So I am not surprised that you would consider some of the numbers quoted here on the low side.
I think just like with the strip club, there are Kia Soul sugar babies and then there are F type Jags. I think these relationships are symbiotic, the best ones last with the proper negotiation/discussion and maybe what I would want and need for it to work for me is different than what the Kia Soul needs. Lol.
But I wasn’t saying that it means you spend thousands per week, just means you are helping out more than just p4p’ing, and maybe for a younger girl she just needs help paying her rent, etc.
He's a trendsetter.
Obviously, as I said before, the way B.Ho used SA, and juice pretended to use SA, are a completely different model, that I don't consider sugaring, but just "getting escort-like transactions on SA"
@25, I think a mistress is even the NEXT level. Mistress to me is *wife*status* where you spend as much as you would on a wife. But she's still the other woman. Buy her a house, car, vacations, fund her retirement, etc.
on the reddit sub, they call a SD who pays even $5k/month a unicorn -- at the very least, $5k represents an upper tier of allowance. Obviously, there are guys out there paying $10k+, but very very few. the vast majority of sugaring goes on at well under $5k, it appears
I think it wouldn’t be too hard to grab a SD at that amount, personally.
Earlier in the thread, I mocked sugar babying. But that being said, there are some who are damn good at it. Think of for example whoever Dadillac’s ex SB is. She obviously fucked up, but it does happen.
This is delusional thinking, at it's finest.
In general, I imagine. Hell, some subs seem to be all jr highschoolers lol. But completely different with the sugar sub, seems about split between SBs (many of whom are very experienced) and typical-aged SDs (that is, 40s, 50s, 60s, very few younger men). Or, in other words, the sub and places like letstalksugar are much better places to get info than articles, or "I have a friend who says". I peek in on it every few weeks, it reflects accurately a lot of my first-hand experiences, too, not that I have a ton having just done this a few years, but that seems to be a few years longer than many of the people giving opinions (hey, it's tuscl lol).
-->"The Venn diagram of those guys has to be a very small intersection."
Ya, agree. Not that it doesn't happen, but just like the "no sex" arrangements that you always read about in articles, the $10k/month club is not very big
But men *do* pay these allowances. In a lot of ways, it’s not even a financially foolish decision necessarily (as long as they have the income for it)
Let’s say SD+SB meet up twice a week. One of those days, they hang out for four hours. Another one, five hours and sleep together over night.
That’s 17 hours in a week.
Trying to pull that off with a $300/hr escort would be $5100 just for the week alone. And escorts like to do things such as require condoms, which sugar babies *don’t*
These men usually don’t go around “shopping” for these sugar babies either. The sugar babies usually come up to them.
For sure. Just very few (at least as a % of total number of SDs).
And yes, absolutely agree that one of the many advantages of both sugaring and OTC over escorts, is because by-the-hour pricing is not affordable if you want to spend a lot of hours. I've been saying that for years -- total price for OTC might (sometimes) be more expensive than an escort, but considering my ATFs often spend many hours (and even overnights) for that price, rate-wise it can be an order of magnitude less expensive. Sugaring exactly the same way.
Just for the record spending 17 hours a week with me isn't gonna cut it, in order to get me interested in her, she needs to have a lot more going for her than just looking good, looking good may be how it starts, but there needs to be more, or I'm gonna get bored pretty quick.
And the reason for those hours is because these men have busy lives and are married. You could maybe even swap out the word “sugar baby” for mistress.
Just thinking about all this makes me personally cringe, however. If I was willing to fuck a customer, it would be a straight hourly rate in cash only for me.
@nicespice - those SBs on tumblr sound like the higher end of the market, also how long ago was this?
@pinksugardoll - I have no doubt you could easily find someone to give you $5k a month. Especially if you can find guys in the SC. Even on SA the amount of SBs who are in your age range with your body type are super rare, compared to 18-22yos. The only counter points I would make are:
1) the competition is totally unlike the SC, there are 20 girls to guys in my area, if you restrict it to guys that are looking for long term arrangements that number is probably more like 50:1
2) the "Kia" end of the range on SA are millenials that have been hooking up for free on tinder and consider any cash a bonus
Here is the sugaring forum: https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestylef…
If I lived in a big city though, I seriously doubt that would be feasible. But here, I can easily meet women hotter than any of the dancers within 3 hours of me.
Agree, it is a high quality forum with excellent information. I consider most of the tumblrs specious
Pulling up your area (kansas city, mo) I don't see much for rent under $500. So lets say $800 is a better starting point for rent then $200 a week would be a low but not cheapskate offer.
And yah, I'm definitely not paying rent every week, but if I offer a monthly allowance that covers their rent, and on top of that, we travel, shop, drink, eat, etc.. Most girls are cool with that.
What escort costs $5,100 for one evening and one overnight? The hourly rate usually goes down for multiple hours and the overnight is a flat rate usually less than 5x the hourly rate. No John is going to pay an escort to literally sleep. Also most Johns spend their time with escorts doing sexual acts or foreplay/afterplay. Not hanging out or eating dinner or freaking shopping. Apples and oranges...
Paul Drake, thank you for the compliments, I am flattered, truthfully. :D
Nicespice, agree with you. SBs work very hard. They have to constantly market themselves and are like salespeople in a way, networking with potential SDs who may never amount to anything. I’m saying the same thing as you, $3-6k, I think it’s out there and not too hard to find.
I also think the cost of living does correlate with potential arrangement price tag. I live in Seattle, we have the #1 economy in the US for close to 2 years now. We are having a population boom. I live in a suburb where the rent has increased the most over this time compared to anywhere else in the northwest (I read an article about it, it’s documebted), and I can’t find a place to move (with a garage) that’s less than $1800. Believe me, I have been TRYING. So if cost of living correlated to what an arrangement could cost, maybe that’s why my idea of a “traditional” sugar relationship is different than some of you guys.
I would also say that the girls making the most are not posting on reddit, etc., but interacting in groups where only other SWers are allowed.
Each relationship is different --the terms, the expectations, and the cost. The advantages, especially if you find a good partner far outweigh escorts, dancers, or if you travel like I do trying to meet women directly.
I date where I live. I "sugar" where I travel to, especially in areas I visit on a regular basis.
Good point. I didn’t think of that. Would 2k be a more realistic number then for the week?
I wish I could post pictures of my last SA girl. I did locate her Instagram page. She's 20, 5' 4", about 110lbs, long silky blonde hair to her waist, tight body and 10/10 ass. She goes to a local private school pre-pharmacy major.
;-)
I had one ATF that was about to become SB4 bit then she went and got greedy on me.
SB6 was another ATF that I thought would be more attracted to an arrangement than to random OTCs, and while she did indeed have an easier time of mentally accepting being a SB, her level of commitment to the SR never got past "hot GF" stage ("I'm hot, so I'll show up or be ready to be picked up when I damn well feel like it.")
current SGF is wonderful; truly more like a GF than a sex worker, and we pick out strippers together to OTC with us :-)
The female readers of the main sugar sub outnumber the men by at least 10 to 1, judging by the vote movement on posts and comments.
you haven't seen the Reddit sugar sub if you think SBs don't use condoms. they will crucify, tar and feather, and burn at the stake any guy who even mentions the possibility of having sex without a condom
"they call a SD who pays even $5k/month a unicorn -- at the very least"
Cost by itself isn't the issue as the value received.