metoo as a weapon

Dominic77
Cleveland, Ohio
This is part of a discussion (as a society) we probably should have, or at least have again.

It basically follows the recipe:
Girl pursues the boy, goes up to his place or public gathering, make herself sexually available, maybe even engages in sexual foreplay, then feels “uneasy” about the boy pushing sexual intercourse.

And let's be clear, if he forces her or pursues anything after consent is withdrawn, that's wrong.

But sometimes in the heat of the moment consent is sort of a gray area. "No stop," she says playfully. Boy stops. They are start again. Maybe they stop. Consent given, withdrawn, given again ... Sometimes there isn't always positive consent with young sex.

But was it NO! (and she knees you in the testicles) Or was it a, "no .. stop... (giggle)" sort of a flirting-no, sort of a "talk me into it romeo-no" and try some more foreplay. I think we've all been there.

Imagine everything is fine things are progressing. The first time you thrust her... she freezes on you. You say, "For real?" She's doesn't respond. She lies frozen. That's a form of her withdrawing consent. You pull out. But I understand the law says, 1) a rape may have just occurred, and 2) she withdrew consent.

Two Kids playing around is my first conclusion. Maybe she wanted to have sex with him, just not "so soon." Put the boy on trial and label him a rapist? And I don't want to be unsympathetic to the girl.

16 comments

  • Dominic77
    6 years ago
    Let's take the story of Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey Ford.

    Ms. Ford had the following sequence of steps.

    1) Went to an all-girls school.
    2) Went to a party where she knew and wanted boys to be present without parents.
    3) Went to a party where they and she were drinking.

    "I did not want to tell my parents that I, at age 15, was in a house without any parents present, drinking beer with boys. I tried to convince myself that because Brett did not rape me, I should be able to move on and just pretend that it had never happened... I had never told the details to anyone until May 2012, during a couples counseling session. "

    This the same post-Victorian problem I say we need to come to grips with.

    quote:
    "This is typical of a modern feminist that strives to throw off the shackles of traditional Victorian sexual morality, then gets upset when pushy, pervy guys play along. As Heather MacDonald writes, under traditional morality, the default response to premarital sex was “no.” Feminism changed that default to “yes,” and the very people who sought out the switch are now complaining about the unintended consequences. They’re complaining—not about rape, mind you—but about unwanted interest."

    "Sexual abuse and harassment is a real problem in American society, but it does no good in fighting it by crying wolf about a bad date."
  • Jascoi
    6 years ago
    fuck. she’s drinking booze at a party at the age of 15??? this wasn’t a Christian coomb by Ya (come on fucking Siri... you got it right the first time and then you change it to ‘coomb by Ya’ party.)
  • TrapBaby304
    6 years ago
    I think a lot of women do it for attention or out of bitterness or a political agenda. Which takes away from real cases f rape and sexual harassment. I also think racism and classism have to be addressed. American feminism is in general white and elitist. Ive had my own run ins with these groups when I was in college but thats a whole other story lol
  • nicespice
    6 years ago
    It’s uncomfortable for me to say this out loud, but I wonder whether it’s in most feminist’s best interests to emphasize rape culture as much as they do.

    Let me make a disclaimer *A RAPIST IS AN ABSOLUTE POS AND DESERVES CRIMINAL PROSECUTION OR EVEN VIGILANTE RETALIATION*

    Okay, now that I said that, let me continue my explanation now. The way I see it, historically a woman’s value was tied to her chastity.

    I don’t blame that behavior in the past. Birth control and DNA testing wasn’t a thing back then, so I can understand a society that wants to prevent cukolding.

    But it was in that kind of society that made rape as especially terrible as it was. The victim really *was* being “stripped of her worth” and less marriageable for a potential future husband. That was the thing that made it a lot worse of a crime than, say, injuring someone to the point of breaking their bones. Or anything else that is physical assault.

    But the current wave of feminism’s (3rd or 4th wave? I don’t remember) goals is to end slut shaming. Taking on the narrative of bad men ruining innocent women (as opposed to maybe temporarily hindering them) seems counter to the slut shame ending goal.

  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    Nina shouldn't be ashamed.
  • NinaBambina
    6 years ago
    What the fuck are you talking about, loser? What shouldn't I be ashamed of?
  • Mate27
    6 years ago
    I haven’t known anybody in my personal life who has been “me too’d” yet. It seems to be mostly famous people at this point, but I’m not worried about it being overplayed. It should help the well adjusted men meet women who normally have a shell around them from all the guys who are a little too forceful. If my daughter would ever have some guy cross the line with her, I’d hope she will know immediately how to take action to make sure that it ended immediately and was to never happen again.

    I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I had to guess what a woman wants sexually.
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    LOL. It's too easy.
  • NinaBambina
    6 years ago
    "LOL. It's too easy."

    Dancing around my questions because you don't have the balls to answer to your own bullshit certainly does seem easy.
  • jester214
    6 years ago
    ^Pot, kettle.

  • NinaBambina
    6 years ago
    Pot, kettle. Saucepan. Deep fryer.
  • NinaBambina
    6 years ago
    Waffle maker. Skillet. Toaster oven. Pressure cooker, Keurig.
  • jester214
    6 years ago
    I'm sorry my reference went over your head.
  • NinaBambina
    6 years ago
    Cookie sheet.
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    Dominic77, your position is still based on calling the victims liars. Bringing such accusations forward is a very painful process.

    I sat through an entire trial, to help three girls put their father into San Quentin. They were each impeccable witnesses. But this did not stop the Defense from trying to trash them and playing to anti-feminist and anti-government sentiments in the jury.

    SJG
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    Despite Gut-Wrenching Testimony from Dr. Blasey Ford, GOP Moves Forward with Vote on Kavanaugh
    https://www.democracynow.org/shows/2018/…

    SJG
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