How do you REALLY keep a woman from spending all your money?
gentleman_scholar
From the birthplace of money and women
Eve though Phatboy99's post strikes me as an obvious troll thread, I think it still serves as a good reminder to all of us.
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
I assume that most people on here wouldn't let a P4P friend blow $16,000 in a single month, but for those of you who do see the same girl repeatedly, what do you do to keep spending/expectations under control? If she's been completely wonderful and you do some extra for her, does the extra start to become the new norm, and if so, how do you reel her back in? Or do you just stop seeing her if she starts wanting more?
https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…
I assume that most people on here wouldn't let a P4P friend blow $16,000 in a single month, but for those of you who do see the same girl repeatedly, what do you do to keep spending/expectations under control? If she's been completely wonderful and you do some extra for her, does the extra start to become the new norm, and if so, how do you reel her back in? Or do you just stop seeing her if she starts wanting more?
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69 comments
You can give her money, willingly and generously. But you never let her get to where she can do it without your approval.
But spending money is just the first lawyer of nightmare found in marriage and cohabitation.
FWIW the organization I am building solves all of these problems.
SJG
Mason 1971
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fyeJk5W…
https://www.allmusic.com/album/harbour-m…
SJG
Long time ago, so she snatched my remaining $20 and said, "With this I can start", so she was on me on a couch and indeed she gave me a bit of a nice dance.
I would have rather held onto the money for another girl I was waiting for.
Two X chromosomes lets you get away with all kinds of things.
SJG
SJG
Stop giving it to her.
SJG
san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate
two_bits - parody troll account
Phatboy99 - definite troll account
Every once in a while I tell her no, even when I have the money and want to see her, just so she doesn't take it for granted. If any human beings are reading, what do you do?
I still send her money. court order.
It's different for different girls. With this one it goes to her head and the asking for things never stops. But putting her on hold every once in a while keeps her grounded.
How does that go? Predictably, case-by-case basis. A few get it. Many get it but like to occasionally test to see if I'm bluffing (I'm not), and others just aren't built that way.
It helps that I'm absolutely not afraid to break things off with a dancer. There's no stripper shortage that I know of.
The expectations must be set upfront. There are girls who have no control - who want a human atm - and you avoid them. The girls who create drama - to get more money - should be avoided too.
When you eliminate those two groups, the number of P4P providers gets a bit smaller. Then you keep it low key with the girl from the onset.
If you are laid back and in control, she will see that. If she tries a sob story to get more money - say no - and don’t text her for several days. If she tries to increase her price unexpectedly, tell her that’s too much, and don’t get into a back and forth about why, just say no and don’t text her back for several days. Unless she has a chemical addiction, she will get it pretty quickly.
If you are in a non-P4P relationship - you pay when she’s with you - and you pay when she’s away from you. Basically, there’s no end to the outflow of cash.
I still think you're full of shit and a troll. With that said, if you're "girlfriend" is spending your "$16K" in a month, and your response is to whine about it on a strip club message board, then you're more of a trick than any of us.
For pretty much every suggestion you've received on this matter, you're response is some version of "But I can't because I gots all the feeeeelz."
Which is a great way to deflect legit advice and drag out a junk thread or two. Which is to say, I still think you're full of shit and a troll.
I mean, I guess there's a slight chance of the alternative, which is that you literally have no testicles.
and just dumping someone you live with and want to have a kid with isnt a viable option to normal people
Nope. I accuse people of trolling when they post fantastically implausible or ridiculous scenarios and seek to wind people up with those scenarios. Especially when they do it over and over again.
"Go fuck yourself."
I don't have to because strippers.
"You do this to everyone."
Nope. I don't. I contribute constructively to many threads posted by lots of users. I do this when I strongly suspect trolling. Like right now.
"If you dont like a thread, dont respond. its that simple."
I had no idea that this was your first day on the internet.
"and just dumping someone you live with and want to have a kid with isnt a viable option to normal people"
Yes, it is.
If that's true... which it's not.
@gentleman_scholar posted: "what do you do to keep spending/expectations under control?"
^^I set a budget and I still to it. Period. Full stop. In addition to supporting me I also support my wife as I'm married. So I don't have wiggle room to be irresponsble or not in control in 100% of my club spending and vists. So I never give up control. It's not remotely an option.
@gentleman_scholar posted: "If she's been completely wonderful and you do some extra for her, does the extra start to become the new norm, and if so, how do you reel her back in?"
It happened once. I took the advice of @Estafador and "fired her." I just stopped spending on her for most of a visit ("I'm looking for a little variety tonight") and sat with other girls and paid them. She came by at one point and whispered, "save a dance for me." so I knew she got it. Spent modestly on on her ever since. At least for a couple trips after that and it was never an issue.
I also made one point clear to her. That she wasn't to directly order from a waitress again (a la @Subraman). That bothered me before I ever learned his advise to control drink orders and drink spending. I agree what we'll drink and I do the ordering. Never her. She never had an issue with that. And I didn't expect it to be an issue. I just needed to set the ground rules clear so she understood what to do and what not to do.
And it wasn't the money. $10 for a drink isn't a big deal. I would have bought it had she asked. But she didn't ask. She didn't even do it with me. Hell the waitress was part at fault, too. She just can't feel entitled to it and go and order it from the waitress on the floor to charge to be without checking first. She's not married to me. She doesn't get that priviledge.
I also wasn't going to pay for clothed convo anymore. This isn't 1995. I started it so I own that. But I was also shutting it down. Never an issue. And understood she had to earn tips from there on out. I had been out of clubs for 12 years so I forgot 1990s SC boom logic no longer applies today.
Lay ground rules. Be firm. But above all, the two of you should have fun. It's not rocket science.
As for tipping, just lower tipping. Maybe mention it to her or not. It shouldn't matter until you are REALLY cutting back. But then just read her body language and see if a quick explanation that what you're spending now is more in line and if she is always free to go. Don't over think it. Strip clubs are supposed to be fun and you're supposed to be having a good time not drowning in dancer drama.
@gentleman_scholar posted: "Or do you just stop seeing her if she starts wanting more?"
^^^ Never had her want more other than her pitching OTC (no interest due to cost) or mentioning she's moving to a new club with higher dances. I never saw her after that mostly bacause I don't club very often. I would have been interested in seeing her at the new club but it took me 20 months (yeah, 1.5 years) to finally get there and I didn't see her on the random night. So I have no clue where she is or if she left the business or the area. I mostly don't care. There are plenty of dancers out there.
1. She's not entitled to my money. She earns any tips from me. Not entitled. Earns.
2. Iron fist with a velvet glove. I think they understand and respect you more when you are in control.
3. Also I hear Target sells a 2-for-1 sack and spine combo. I suggest you look into that.
If she is your mistress, then you give her maintenance money, but not hooker fees. She is not authorized to try and get other money from you or to spend money in your name. ( I suggest mistress status is best. In most countries other than the US, well off guys do it this way. )
If your life and hers are intertwined, then that becomes like a marriage. That is a fatal illness.
SJG
Carmen, Full Opera, set in Seville around 1820
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx4ImMQW…
Who is planning your wake?
Smart guys all around the world keep mistresses.
SJG
Carmen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx4ImMQW…
I don’t think Phat Boy is a troll either.
Some people on TUSCL are just jerks.
And a typical disagreement over finances, being the introduction to decades of despair and horror, no that is not some evil plot.
SJG
SJG
He definitely has a different perspective than others on the board. This is understandable if he’s somewhat of a young cholo versus the well-off older types on here who usually post.
And there’s the off chance he isn’t who he says he is. But he hasn’t shown any signs of clowning persay. He’s more credible than, say, gentleman_scholar.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/…
SJG
Marriage exposes both partners to outside normative standards. This can be completely destructive. By nature, marriage is a death trap.
SJG
When you have genuine partnership, then it can be different. This is what I told PhatBoy that he had to have, that the woman had to start being a partner. Usually it is the woman who has to make this happen.
I fought for that in my marriage, and it was never there.
Used to be that marriages worked by outer forces. Most people today reject this and those outer forces are very harmful. So today marriages have to work by inner forces. But this is rare, in my observation and experience.
We have a special court house just to deal with all the child custody fights. And the child abuse cases are so bad that prosecutors have started adding torture charges.
We have 3 whole criminal court departments just for the domestic violence cases.
Fascinating book about a remarkable Judge, Leonard Edwards, and cases which will really open your eyes:
https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-revie…
SJG
Mason 1971, real good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fyeJk5W…
PhatBoy99 +10.
They are also expected to be a Libertarian, that sounding better than saying that they support Social Darwinism and are a Republican.
SJG
SJG - I agree. They just like exploiting everyone and are paranoid someone will stand up to them. thats the real fear of hoes.
Again PhatBoy is right on point!
PhatBoy +20
SJG
I've seen strippers who try to scam, and I never fucked with them. Its simple. I can honestly say Ive seen more fucked up car mechanics and cops than strippers though
As for 'what we're doing to these girls' once again, that is what a strip club is. Dances, groping, grinding. No one is forcing the girls to work there, they choose to. I'll ask again, what do you propose a customer does when they go to a club? Not get dances? No groping or grinding?
It's a troll bromance.
Sure. Shady guy with a non-specific, cash-heavy job has a dancer "main bitch" who he loves *so* much (but not enough to ditch his "side bitches"...) is upset because the "main bitch" ate through $16K in cash like a piranhas on a wounded calf, and he comes to a strip club website to seek out relationship advice from a group of guys who (broadly speaking) suck at monogamy. Yet, for every bit of rational advice he gets, replies that he can't do any of those things because he's powerless and kitten limp with true love.
So... sure... a run-of-the-mill and believable disagreement over finances.
You nailed it.
CallMeIshmael, you dont have to belittle it just coz you're not about that life. Its a forum about strip clubs so I was expecting guys to actually understand strippers, not what teh forum actually is.