What are the most important things to you during a lap dance?

1. Mileage, mileage, mileage! (no explanation necessary or is there?)
2. GFE/connection - usually involves a familiarity, comfort or affectionate "friendliness" but not "friendzone". Basically a lot of things you might do or have with a girlfriend but in a lap dance.
3. Sexiness/sensuality - is kind of similar to GFE/connection except many a girlfriend or SO may be neither very sexy or sensual. This might also involve her pleasure, faked or otherwise.
4. LDK - happy endings without extras for those that want them.
5. Visuals - enjoying the sight of a beautiful naked woman and all of her physical charms on your lap and includes looks and appearances.
6. Fantasy/role play - often involves more specific acts or personal kinks and includes lap dance positions.
7. Dirty talk and other conversation - more like the aural (or oral, npi) versions of visuals and also includes moaning and friendly banter.
8. Other - like i'm not sure where personality/attitude would fit, maybe 2 or 3 or even 6, or if it even needs its own category. This would include anything else.
9. I don't do/understand lap dances - for the non chump, or the give me extras or OTC or give me nothing crowd (if that is a thing).

There is definitely a lot of overlap between categories. For instance, DFK or even LFK (as rare as it is outside of San Jose, apparently) would fall in the mileage category first, but depending on the quality of it, could also fall in the GFE/connection and sexiness/sensuality categories. It could even fall a bit into the fantasy/role play and for some of the quick triggers, it might even abet in causing LDK. Also some categories (like visuals) could even be like prerequisites for the more important categories to you.

I guess i should probably limit this to VHM dances and below, because once extras get involved (UHM+), mileage becomes an entirely different animal and tends to dominate the "dance" (where it might not even really be a dance anymore), usually becoming the obvious reason for having them.

If there are any other categories that you felt i likely missed, please feel free to add them.

35 comments

  • Liwet
    6 years ago
    For me, for a first time, the two most important things that NEED to happen is that I have to be able to touch breasts and I have to pay at the end.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    I really should have put in something regarding value. It's not something i tend to think about in the actual dance, at least consciously, unless it's brought up (badgering by the girl for VIPs, etc.), but it is a very important consideration for many SCers. But if you get what you want from a dance, then the value equation is largely solved.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    I really should have put in something regarding value. It's not something i tend to think about in the actual dance, at least consciously, unless it's brought up (badgering by the girl for VIPs, etc.), but it is a very important consideration for many SCers. But if you get what you want from a dance, then the value equation is largely solved.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    I really should have put in something regarding value. It's not something i tend to think about in the actual dance, at least consciously, unless it's brought up (badgering by the girl for VIPs, etc.), but it is a very important consideration for many SCers. But if you get what you want from a dance, then the value equation is largely solved.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    Damn, didn't mean to do that, got all froze up...
  • chessmaster
    6 years ago
    1,2 and 5
  • chessmaster
    6 years ago
    2 and 3 could be interchangeable
  • chessmaster
    6 years ago
    You should probably include #10 as extras if mileage is "up to but not including extras".
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    Yes, also 1,2,3 and 5 and probably in that order, although 5 seems so important before the dance and even during the dance say if it's missing.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    If it's up to but not including extras, it still mileage to me. Very high mileage, but still mileage. If you're really seeking extras, i don't think it's a dance you really want.
  • Cashman1234
    6 years ago
    3, 7 and 8. If the dancer isn’t into it - and she can’t convince me that it’s a good time - that can kill the vibe. She needs to make me cum - I don’t care how - mouth, hands and/or pussy.

    Her entire goal and focus must be making me cum. It sounds very self centered - but it’s one time where I’m fully focused on my desires.
  • skibum609
    6 years ago
    7 makes me stop the dance. I have a better chance of being President of Iran than 4. Easy one: 1,2,5.
  • Papi_Chulo
    6 years ago
    1) mileage/contact

    For me it's more like a porno than a romance-novel - I go to SCs to fulfill my physical-needs not to cure loneliness nor fill a void from not having an S.O. or an S.O. that does not meet my needs
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    ^ @Papi

    I thought you would ask to add another option

    #11 Huge black asses and titties.
  • shailynn
    6 years ago
    2 and 3???? I think I’d almost prefer an intense and sensual lapdance in a bikini over an average fully nude lapdance.

    When a girl breathes in your ear, moans a little, moves so sensual it makes the hairs on my neck stand up, it’s so much better than just staring at a pussy sitting on my lap.
  • Subraman
    6 years ago
    9... Lapdances at the clubs I go to are pretty useless. VIPs only
  • Warrior15
    6 years ago
    1 and 4. In the end, it's about the sex. Are there cheaper ways to get it, yeah I guess. But I like the atmosphere of a strip club, the availability of it, and I want to leave it behind when I'm done.
  • shadowcat
    6 years ago
    In my advanced years I need all of the stimulation that I can get in order to bust a nut. Therefore I want a GFE with a lot Of kissing. I rarely even ask a dancer about VIP until I have gotten table dances from her several times.
  • max_starr
    6 years ago
    1,2,3 and 7 is an added bonus!
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    9 and 9 only

    I have recently been enlightened by a Strip Club savant.

    He preaches to treat dancers as if they are civilians. Paying dancers for dances is a chump's game and only serves to heighten one's sexual frustration.

    Treat them like civilians and they will provide a GFE in the Front Room with all the DFK you can handle. Only when you are ready for your pants to come off are you ready for 1 of 2 scenarios

    1. Take her to the back room.

    Or the preferred outcome

    2. Chloroform her, somehow take her to your Mom's home on your Huffy bike, carry her to your bed in the basement and perform coitus while she is still unconscious.

    On second thought,that guy is a wacko.

    1,3,5
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    @Subraman
    At the clubs you go to, if the lap dances are so "useless", probably low mileage/contact/nudity, whatever as well as heavily monitored, strict, overpriced, etc, are the VIPs really that much better? When i think of the few (or many really) crappy lap dance clubs in my area, their VIP options aren't known for extras or UHM either. Same deal, girl won't put out and/or the club won't allow it. Do any PLs get dances at those clubs or do the girls even try selling them?
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    I think Tootsie's Cabaret in Miami is kind of like that with the girls really trying to sell well known extras rooms and not bothering with dances or trying to sell multiple dances even at $25 each. The dances are VHM+ to my knowledge though. I don't mean to imply that there are any wrong answers (even 9), especially with something as varied and subjective with strip clubs and lap dances.
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    Most importantly, GFE = DFKing.

    Buying dances is a chump's game. Need to get your girl off script so that you can lead it. Front room makeout session, then when it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room.

    SJG
  • AmeliaSmith
    6 years ago
    I mainly focus on 1 , 5 , and 2 , in that order, while I am giving a lap dance
  • Komplex4
    6 years ago
    4 and 1.
  • Cashman1234
    6 years ago
    Flagoneer - I appreciate your insight. I learned a lot from your post. I’ve been doing it out of order. I was chloroforming the dancers first - and the DFK and GFE was a bit drowsy - and uninspired.

    I can’t thank you enough!
  • GoVikings
    6 years ago
    there's a club i go to around here that has a 2 songs for $40 special. normally, its 2 for $60....but during showtime.....you can get 2 songs for $40 (two way contact)

    i did a 2 for $40 with two different dancers of similar attractiveness. both of these girls are near or around an 8 of hotness.

    the first dancer gave a dance that was noticeably robotic. it wasn't a bad dance, but it was average at best. the other dancer gave me one of the best dances i've had in a while and she just seemed like she was actually cared about giving a good dance. in other words, she didn't give me a lower quality dance----just because i got the 2 for 40 special.

    its interesting how much dancers can differ in friendliness and in how much effort they put into a lap dance. obviously, dancers can't allow everything---but you would think that they would want to give a good effort during dances--that way they can draw customers to their club to see them again

    i know this is totally off topic.........but ameila......can you shed some light on this? :-)
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    @AmeliaSmith
    Sounds like a very hot dancer, and a hot dance too.
  • theDirkDiggler
    6 years ago
    ^ Yes, effort (although it shouldn't come across as effort from the dancer to be effective, although for them it's definitely noticeable) is a quality i probably should have added somewhere. Simply checking all these boxes doesn't make a good dance. I guess you can throw in generosity as well. A dancer's generosity (within limits), or lack thereof, during a dance can definitely affect a PL's generosity as well (more dances, tips, etc).
  • lolruned
    6 years ago
    1, 3, 2
  • larryfisherman
    6 years ago
    1, 2
  • TFP
    6 years ago
    For me it goes 5,1,6, and finally 4. That's the best kind of dance I can get. It's her look that's gonna get me to buy a dance from her. Then it's her letting me feel all the goodies that keeps me aroused. If she complies with my requests to stay in certain positions for a longer time then it's absolutely perfect, yet not a boner killer if she doesn't. And finally, the LDK signifies total satisfaction for me. Usually I only shoot for 4 at the end of the night.

    Not really a fan of 7 unless it's done in moderation. Some girls are good at this, most are not. When it's overdone it's so obviously fake that it actually kills my wood.
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    Dances are a gimmick invented by strip clubs to separate marks from their money. They did this after Jim and Artie Mitchell had already faced all the legal risks, going thru a felony jury trial, over front room lap dancing, i.e. lap sitting. Booths and back rooms do not necessarily increase the mileage or the quality, compared with what was routinely going on with front room lap sitting.

    Buying dances is a chump's game because your girl does not have to open up to you, she leads it.

    What you want is to get your girl off script, so that whatever further ensues is more civilian in nature. So the most important thing is to start with a front room makeout session. Then when it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room.

    SJG

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  • Jascoi
    6 years ago
    Dirt Digger... i agree with your thinking in this discussion. i love beauty, sexiness and chemistry! and blurred lines!
  • san_jose_guy
    6 years ago
    ^^^^ but lap dances are just a gimmick invented to separate marks from their money. The problem with the whole thing is that the girl does not have to open up, let her psychological defenses down, shift to the parasympathetic nervous system.

    The way to change this and get her opened up and completely off script is a front room makeout session.

    SJG
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