Paying for time or dances?

30 comments

• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  6 years ago

  I never pay for time doing anything but dances or VIP. But if I'm not going to get dances or VIP, I let the dancer know that up front so that she doesn't waste her time with me. Short answer because I'm not entirely buying what the OP is selling.
• Jascoi

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  6 years ago

  i pay for dancss... i don’t pay for her hanging with me (besides a girl drink.)
• a21985

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  6 years ago

  I pay for dances, and I don't go to the club without getting dances. If the a dancer hangs out with me for an exorbinant amount of time after/before dances, payment will only come in the form of drinks.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @OP anyone who thinks they’re in love with a dancer is an idiot, you’d be better off taking your dick and sticking it in a meatgrinder, it’ll hurt less that way.
• laplap1974

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  6 years ago

  There strippers. This is a business for them. You have to keep that in mind when deciding to get with her. You figure if a stripper wants to get with you on a personal leve 1) she would give you her real name 2) she would want to go out on a normal date (dinner, movies or some kind of social gathering) 3) she makes time on the phone to talk with you. In other words she would act like a normal woman with a man she is dating .
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  twentyfive, not holding back at all. But I think getting ridiculous. SJG
• Titus23

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  6 years ago

  I've spent my last two Friday nights with two different dancers. 8 hours per night, and they were with me the entire time without interruption. We danced a bit, no more than 15 dances a night (9 during last call because it's weird as fuck on the floor at that time). Each dancer took home between 800-1000 after tipout. I talked to them ahead of time and determined their nightly goal. I add 200 on top of it as incentive to relax. I start with a $100 down payment, and that's the only cash I hand outside of dances and stages. But I tip massive on stage. $100+ a song. That's how I show I'm serious about their time, and they don't ask for anything at any point. It's a very mutually respectful arrangement. One took a nap on me for 30 minutes, gave a massage, etc. The other met me for drinks before hand, we shared great conversation and intimacy. Each one has a different style, but they're both fun. Well worth the expense in my opinion. Bottom line: if you're not dancing but eating up their time, pay proportionally for what their goal is for the night. 8 hour shift and you steal her for 2 hours? She expects 800 a night, pay her 200. That can be through dances (careful of tipouts), stage tips, or two hundreds up front. Works at my club because there's no champagne room or true VIP. Yours May differ.
• TonyT2

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  6 years ago

  @Laplap1974 each of those things are or will be true soon. So that is something. @twentyfive I thought it would be obvious to those who read in context that I meant “club love” Thank you to the first three responders. I was hoping I wasn’t crazy because I feel the same way. Is it different if we arranged time on her normal day off?
• TonyT2

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  6 years ago

  Thanks Titus
• Lone_Wolf

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  6 years ago

  @titus - wow. 8 hours of one on one time? That's intense. I get bored with most of them in about an hour.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @Tony72 problem with context, is lately it’s been a bunch of newbies coming on here and telling us mongers, many whom have been at it for more years than these newbies have been alive, that they got game when all they really got is some cash, I have no problem with guys having fun however they see fit, and generally speaking I can club with the best out there. But tell the truth, there ain’t nothing rocket science about paying a whore for a little cooze, don’t make anybody special at all.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Strippers like everyone that pays them - you're only as special as your wallet - at best you're an easy-mark that she can easily manipulate and fleece, that much seems obvious from your post, and why she pretend$ to be into you. I get the feeling you won't give this type of feedback much credence and will probably learn the hardaway if you ever learn/admit-it all.
• TonyT2

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  6 years ago

  @Papi_Chulo. You are right of course. But its much more fun to live in a bit of a fantasy, no? Do you know what else is true of an easy mark who women seen as generous? The guy with all the hottest girls every time he comes in. Its a reputation I build on purpose. The purpose of my post is because I never want them (and this woman in particular) to see me as cheap because I never want them to think twice about choosing me over some other dude.
• Titus23

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  6 years ago

  @Lone_Wolf - Yah, when I go to the club, I typically stay from 7-3. I'll delay to 8 if I haven't made contact with one of the dancers and made sure they're ready. Otherwise, it's empty until 8. Some days I go in and split my time and money between 3 or 4 dancers, but other times, I just want to get to know one better, so I'll text her and set something up. The club I go to is pretty small, tight knit group of girls, and I know most of their real names, numbers, etc. One friended me on facebook (I didn't accept due to my own security reasons), but now I have a ton of other dancers showing up in my people you might know. It's pretty awkward, but they don't seem to care. I've become the guy that they go hang out with when they're bored, it's slow, or they don't feel like hustling at that moment. I have my favorites and I tip those. The rest get some courtesy ones if I'm not busy. Politeness goes a long way I've noticed. Almost as far as tipping a $100 bill on stage.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  You seem to be a bit too-overly concerned about what she thinks as if u were a love-sick puppy. YOU are the customer, you are there (and PAYING) for her to please you, not the other way around, IMO. Yes, one should be cordial/polite, and *fair* when it comes to compensating a dancer for her time, but seems like you're treating strippers as if they were the last women on earth. It is common for strippers to take a mile when given an inch - i.e. the more one gives above fair compensation, often times the less they appreciate it and the more entitled to one's $$$ they become - but yeah I assume "your stripper is different". Anyway, in the end we all club as we see fit and if ur ok with your clubbing then that's what you should do.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Anyway, to answer the original question in the title, if one is buying a decent amount of dances and spending a decent amount, that usually gets you some "free time" with most girls - many dancers will spend downtime with custies as long as the custy buys a fair # of dances with them over the course of his visit, and often times a dancer will not leave a regular's side for fear another dancer will steal her lunch/business. TUSCLer "Subraman" is kinda the expert on getting dancers to sit with him for long periods of time and this usually includes buying them drinks periodically and even food.
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  @TonyT2 - What the fair rate for a dancers times varies. In NYC on Saturday night with a high demand girl is a different story to midweek dayshift where I live in Texas. To give you a specific example I can tell you that my CF wants to make $200+ per day, so if I buy 4-5 dances from her ($100 total) she is super happy to stick to my side for the hour or two I spend in the club. No extra tipping or drinks required. There are more dancers than paying customers at most places so it is a buyers market. If you are respectful regular most girls will work hard to keep you as a customer. To make thing simple, as you stated you are in love with this girl and worried you aren't paying her enough. Yes you are paying her enough. Unfortunately no matter how much you pay it is not going to make her fall in love with you. You might be a good candidate for SA, you should check it out.
• TonyT2

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  6 years ago

  You guys a full of wisdom. I asked the question not because I have game but because I don’t, I have cash. I’ve done this a while, years, but for some reason now I’m wanting to have longer term arrangements and well I want to keep pleasing someone with out becoming a chump, so thx for all the advice.
• lolruned

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  6 years ago

  I used to tip dancers a dollar or so when they came around to me. I think TUSCL would generally tell you to only spend money on LD, VIP, and drinks. Think of the time spent talking as their time investment in keeping you as a regular. I also thought it was interesting that you said "stripper friends." There's no friends in SCing. You're the customer and she's the dancer. She might like you more than the next customer but that doesn't make you guys friends
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Based on your initial post - and your most recent post - maybe you should look for SA type dates? If you lack game - and want to hang with sexy girls in a relaxed atmosphere - those girls might be more to your liking. You can go on a paid date - to a regular restaurant - and have a regular conversation. It’s much easier than trying to hold a longer conversation with a stripper in a club.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  -->"You seem to be a bit too-overly concerned about what she thinks as if u were a love-sick puppy. YOU are the customer, you are there (and PAYING) for her to please you, not the other way around, IMO. Yes, one should be cordial/polite, and *fair* when it comes to compensating a dancer for her time, but seems like you're treating strippers as if they were the last women on earth." 3 sentences packed with tons of women. For myself, I do think respect and fairness are important things. But what I really obsess about is the experience I'm after, where I will or won't allow little compromises, and whether she's willing to give me the experience I want for the money I'm willing to pay. If you always start from that mindset, you'll jettison the women who don't provide what you're looking for, *before* you generate any kind of unhealthy attachment that leads to obsessing about whether you're meeting her needs. And, BTW, the supreme irony is that with many strippers, once she senses that you're obsessing about meeting her needs, she will interpret that as weakness and further manipulate you. As far as the experience I'm going for, I don't pay for her just to sit with me, as in, just give her cash for sitting at the table. I DO pay her in VIP dances, and obviously enough, the strippers who sit with me must think that the VIPs we do justify her spending a lot of time with me at the table. As Papi alluded to, I find drinks and especially food to be incredibly good motivators for her to spend loads of time with me. I also specifically ferret out the slowest shifts, to further motivate her to give me the experience I'm looking for. Also agree with Cashman that SA type "dates" take all this unhealthy obsessiveness over her needs out of the picture, and may be something to consider if you can't get over that. IME, SA dates are never pay-by-the-hour; instead, you agree on a per-date price, and however long the date goes, it goes.
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  Packed with tons of WISDOM. When I mis-typed "packed with tons of women", I am quite certain this was not a subconscious editorial comment on the actual weight of Papi's women.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  If obsessing over strippers can be problematic to where he may get used/fleeced, why would obsessing over SA girls not be as problematic
• Subraman

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  6 years ago

  Ya, true. It removes the "am I paying her enough for her time" worry, but there's lots of other things to be obsessed or fleeced over too
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  @Papi - there are dudes that like the experience of taking care of women, SA caters to that pretty well.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  I agree. He has an unhealthy concern over stripper feelings. That same concern will manifest itself with SA girls. I was thinking that SA dates would be in a more comfortable setting. However - if he gets overly attached based on club encounters - then he might get even more into it with a SA girl in a restaurant.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  @Subraman stop patronizing Papi !
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  I don't think you can look at it as paying her for anything. I mean if you like the girl, then you are just giving her money as a way of showing her care, concern, and respect. In the club, it is more like compensating her for taking up her time, but outside the club it is just a way of looking after her well being. If she wants to engage in intimate acts with you she will, but money alone is not going to get that much in terms of quality and opening herself up to you. She will do that if she wants to. But for those who try to use money to get that, the results will not be very good. SJG By the time we need this, this post will be gone: [view link] Neoliberalism [view link] Mike Oldfield 'Tubular Bells' Live at the BBC 1973 (high quality / remastered) [view link]
• DeclineToState

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  6 years ago

  To answer OP's question: me personally, I pay only for dances and not for time. If it's a new girl and I've got no interest, I tell her that within the first few minutes so she can make money off another customer and so I keep my dance card open for another girl I might find of interest. If it's a girl I've never been with before but I'd like to get dances from, I typically sit with her 10 min getting to know her before I say hey let's get some dances. If it's a girl I've been with before and know I'm going to get dances from that night (which the girl is anticipating also from prior sessions), we hang out half hour to hour before heading off for dances and I tip them decent in addition to dance price. I've only once paid a girl for sit and chat time - it was a girl I'd gotten dances from several times, she came over and sat and talked, I was about to split for a dinner res (she didn't know that), and at the end of chat time I said hey I've gotta split I'll be back later, gave her a $20 (which surprising to me made her happier than I'd thought she'd be), and a few hours later I returned and got some dances. In any event, the answer is no I don't pay for sit and chat time (with that one exception). And I most definitely am of the opinion I don't owe her money for each song she's sitting with me where she's not getting a dance from another customer - and she wouldn't have been filling all those songs with dances with other customers - she'd probably have spent half that time anyway on the prowl attempting to part other customers from their money.
• san_jose_guy

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  6 years ago

  Buying dances is a chump's game, front room makeout sessions. And to do it that way you are effectively paying for her time. But more likely than not you will soon be waking up with her in the mornings. SJG