Paying for time or dances?
TonyT2
what the worlds needs now is love, more love.
What is your experience and your stripper friends' expectations when you come in to spend time with them? Do you pay for the time or the dances? Like if my stripper friend is out of circulation for two hours on an afternoon, should I cover every song that comes on as if it was a dance?
I recently came in to spend time with someone and we had like 6 dances (her choice, I wanted more), 3 songs worth of me giving her a massage and the rest was her eating dinner I paid for and chatting. A quarter of the non-dance/massage time was close cuddling like. I just want to know your thoughts on this. I'll share my thoughts later or you can probably surmise them.
Now, I'm in love with this woman so she can ask whatever she wants until I'm broke. She also likes me (I never really know if they like me) so I'm worried she won't ask for what she feels she deserves, but also resent me for not paying more for her time. I.e. I don't want her thinking, "I drove in from across town just for this guy and I'm only getting $$$$$ for two hours?"
I recently came in to spend time with someone and we had like 6 dances (her choice, I wanted more), 3 songs worth of me giving her a massage and the rest was her eating dinner I paid for and chatting. A quarter of the non-dance/massage time was close cuddling like. I just want to know your thoughts on this. I'll share my thoughts later or you can probably surmise them.
Now, I'm in love with this woman so she can ask whatever she wants until I'm broke. She also likes me (I never really know if they like me) so I'm worried she won't ask for what she feels she deserves, but also resent me for not paying more for her time. I.e. I don't want her thinking, "I drove in from across town just for this guy and I'm only getting $$$$$ for two hours?"
30 comments
Short answer because I'm not entirely buying what the OP is selling.
SJG
Bottom line: if you're not dancing but eating up their time, pay proportionally for what their goal is for the night. 8 hour shift and you steal her for 2 hours? She expects 800 a night, pay her 200. That can be through dances (careful of tipouts), stage tips, or two hundreds up front. Works at my club because there's no champagne room or true VIP. Yours May differ.
@twentyfive I thought it would be obvious to those who read in context that I meant “club love”
Thank you to the first three responders. I was hoping I wasn’t crazy because I feel the same way. Is it different if we arranged time on her normal day off?
I get the feeling you won't give this type of feedback much credence and will probably learn the hardaway if you ever learn/admit-it all.
I've become the guy that they go hang out with when they're bored, it's slow, or they don't feel like hustling at that moment. I have my favorites and I tip those. The rest get some courtesy ones if I'm not busy. Politeness goes a long way I've noticed. Almost as far as tipping a $100 bill on stage.
YOU are the customer, you are there (and PAYING) for her to please you, not the other way around, IMO.
Yes, one should be cordial/polite, and *fair* when it comes to compensating a dancer for her time, but seems like you're treating strippers as if they were the last women on earth.
It is common for strippers to take a mile when given an inch - i.e. the more one gives above fair compensation, often times the less they appreciate it and the more entitled to one's $$$ they become - but yeah I assume "your stripper is different".
Anyway, in the end we all club as we see fit and if ur ok with your clubbing then that's what you should do.
TUSCLer "Subraman" is kinda the expert on getting dancers to sit with him for long periods of time and this usually includes buying them drinks periodically and even food.
There are more dancers than paying customers at most places so it is a buyers market. If you are respectful regular most girls will work hard to keep you as a customer.
To make thing simple, as you stated you are in love with this girl and worried you aren't paying her enough. Yes you are paying her enough. Unfortunately no matter how much you pay it is not going to make her fall in love with you.
You might be a good candidate for SA, you should check it out.
YOU are the customer, you are there (and PAYING) for her to please you, not the other way around, IMO.
Yes, one should be cordial/polite, and *fair* when it comes to compensating a dancer for her time, but seems like you're treating strippers as if they were the last women on earth."
3 sentences packed with tons of women. For myself, I do think respect and fairness are important things. But what I really obsess about is the experience I'm after, where I will or won't allow little compromises, and whether she's willing to give me the experience I want for the money I'm willing to pay. If you always start from that mindset, you'll jettison the women who don't provide what you're looking for, *before* you generate any kind of unhealthy attachment that leads to obsessing about whether you're meeting her needs. And, BTW, the supreme irony is that with many strippers, once she senses that you're obsessing about meeting her needs, she will interpret that as weakness and further manipulate you.
As far as the experience I'm going for, I don't pay for her just to sit with me, as in, just give her cash for sitting at the table. I DO pay her in VIP dances, and obviously enough, the strippers who sit with me must think that the VIPs we do justify her spending a lot of time with me at the table. As Papi alluded to, I find drinks and especially food to be incredibly good motivators for her to spend loads of time with me. I also specifically ferret out the slowest shifts, to further motivate her to give me the experience I'm looking for.
Also agree with Cashman that SA type "dates" take all this unhealthy obsessiveness over her needs out of the picture, and may be something to consider if you can't get over that. IME, SA dates are never pay-by-the-hour; instead, you agree on a per-date price, and however long the date goes, it goes.
I was thinking that SA dates would be in a more comfortable setting. However - if he gets overly attached based on club encounters - then he might get even more into it with a SA girl in a restaurant.
If she wants to engage in intimate acts with you she will, but money alone is not going to get that much in terms of quality and opening herself up to you. She will do that if she wants to. But for those who try to use money to get that, the results will not be very good.
SJG
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If it's a new girl and I've got no interest, I tell her that within the first few minutes so she can make money off another customer and so I keep my dance card open for another girl I might find of interest.
If it's a girl I've never been with before but I'd like to get dances from, I typically sit with her 10 min getting to know her before I say hey let's get some dances.
If it's a girl I've been with before and know I'm going to get dances from that night (which the girl is anticipating also from prior sessions), we hang out half hour to hour before heading off for dances and I tip them decent in addition to dance price.
I've only once paid a girl for sit and chat time - it was a girl I'd gotten dances from several times, she came over and sat and talked, I was about to split for a dinner res (she didn't know that), and at the end of chat time I said hey I've gotta split I'll be back later, gave her a $20 (which surprising to me made her happier than I'd thought she'd be), and a few hours later I returned and got some dances.
In any event, the answer is no I don't pay for sit and chat time (with that one exception). And I most definitely am of the opinion I don't owe her money for each song she's sitting with me where she's not getting a dance from another customer - and she wouldn't have been filling all those songs with dances with other customers - she'd probably have spent half that time anyway on the prowl attempting to part other customers from their money.
SJG