I have recently had two strange dreams, each including my ex-wife.
Now as usual, when one awakens and thinks about the dream, one will see that much of it was highly improbable. But then beyond that, does it mean something?
Dream One
My ex had some how gotten me to a meeting in San Diego ( high improbable, as I have already refused to see her and would not be likely to be lured anywhere. That is a place I have some history with though. )
There was kind of a negative discussion as I was pressing her to explain why the meeting. She blurted out something which included the phrase, "My husband .." ( so she was talking about a new husband. Possible, but probability only so so. Then it came out that he was a professional wrestler, much younger than she, and that this came as the result of a 17 day shack up and fuck fest. Not likely, but not totally impossible either. Just not in her character or temperament )
But I felt great rage at her, and the desire to verbally cut her to shreds. I got tough in talking to her. ( Why was I feeling rage, no right to put any holds on her. I think it is just that I still feel she was never being open and honest with herself or with me, and that she then cost me a great deal of life. But she wants some sort of emotional whirlwind, or she thinks she does. But I know better, keep a safe distance. )
So then about 2 days later a second, Dream Two.
So we were I guess around me here. There was talk about this car of hers, and she indicated that she still had the car, and it could be made to work again, but it has problems with the oil pump.
( Well, that car is almost certainly long gone. But one of the better connections I had to her was the care taking of that car. But the engine's oil pump failing? That is like a heart attack. The oil pump life is usually the life of the engine.
So what could this really be about, her in effect inviting me to fix this car, which is in critical condition?
Well it is saying that there is something between us still, as I know, but there is some serious impediment still playing out as it did during the long hard years of our marriage. One guy, about failing business deals, talked about "Heart Cancer", it is something like that. Some serious impediment which has remained insurmountable. )
SJG
Jimi Hendrix, live 1969, very good youtube.com


Go die in a fire