Trump vs Biden - Who would win?

realDougster
Navigating the post-FOSTA apocalypse
No, I'm not talking about a hypothetical 2020 Presidential match-up, I mean an actual old-fashioned back-alley brawl.

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/03/2…

39 comments

Latest

  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    #Trumpsofat. He’ll get his clock cleaned
  • NinaBambina
    7 years ago
    Only way Trump wins is if he manages to sit on Biden.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    7 years ago
    Probably Biden. He's actually somewhat fit and active.

    I wouldn't mind if both of them slipped into an elevator shaft during the fight, though.
  • Warrior15
    7 years ago
    After seeing the women that Trump has bagged, could you really vote for Biden ?

    https://www.google.com/search?biw=1416&b…:
  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    I don't know. Trump does have WWE experience.
  • Cashman1234
    7 years ago
    Trump would win. Biden is a hugger - not a fighter.

    Although - if Biden went directly for Trump’s hair...
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    7 years ago
    Warrior15 said "After seeing the women that Trump has b̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ bought, could you really vote for Biden?"

    Fixed it for you.
  • RandomMember
    7 years ago
    ^^ LOL

    More realistic competition: which geriatric politician can make it to 3PM without an afternoon nap.
  • NinaBambina
    7 years ago
    What does renting/buying pussy have to do with winning a fight?
  • vincemichaels
    7 years ago
    Trump will win, he'll bring in a ringer.
  • Warrior15
    7 years ago
    " What does renting/buying pussy have to do with winning a fight? "

    Not a damn thing. It just gave me an excuse to post the picture. But it makes sense that the girl in this thread would be the one to not appreciate that.

    On the subject. Trump would kick the living shit out of Biden. In a street fight, the aggressor almost always wins. Biden is way too passive. Trump would tear hit throat out and not even think about it.
  • Salty.Nutz
    7 years ago
    i dont think Trump has ever been in a fight
  • skibum609
    7 years ago
    Biden the plagarizer would lose to Trump, but they'd both lose to little orphan Annie.
  • NinaBambina
    7 years ago
    "Not a damn thing. It just gave me an excuse to post the picture. But it makes sense that the girl in this thread would be the one to not appreciate that."

    Calm down there. It's not like any praised your comment, either...

    Biden is way more physically fit than Trump and I doubt Trump has any street fighting experience. He would get tired after his first swing, and his first swing would be slow enough for any able-bodied person who is not blind to duck. Fat people are easy to fight, they get tired quickly and lose their balance often. They might both break a hip, but obviously Biden has the edge. Plus, his hands are really small. And I think a physical fight is one of the few scenarios where he wouldn't be the aggressor.
  • Warrior15
    7 years ago
    I do need to calm down. Can you take me to a quiet place where I can work thru my tensions ???

    Back to the fight, it would be comical to watch the event. You could make a fortune on PPV .
  • skibum609
    7 years ago
    In high school one day, in the cafeteria, the question of who the toughest kid in the school was when one of my friends, all 5'7' 155 pounds of him squared off with a kid who had moved here from Israel at age 19 and had served in the IDF. 6'2" 225 which in 1975 was fucking huge. My friend took two fast punches to the face and then proceeded to beat him into a bloody pulp while the teachers pretended nothing was going on and we screamed like maniacs. We were stunned because my buddy (pizza face was what others called him) had no reputation and like many of us back in the kung fu days loved karate. He told us how to pick the winner in every fist fight and it remains true today: "The winner is always the one least afraid to get hit in the face". After we discovered alcohol one of the things he liked to do was give you the opportunity to hit him in the face as hard as you possibly could, as long as after you did it, he could punch you in the stomach as hard as he possibly could. Of fucking course I did. I hit him flush on the nose and blood spurted. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, punched me in the stomach and in less than a week I had stopped peeing blood.
  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    Trump has been colluding with Putin.

    I could picture him climbing into the ring from behind Biden and whacking him with a folding metal chair.

    Trump would then tweet all about it as a substitute for his post-match interview.
  • Criley4
    7 years ago
    Kinda makes you wish they would bring back dueling
  • Cashman1234
    7 years ago
    Skibum609 makes an excellent point. A fight gets serious when one of the participants gets hit in the face.
  • georgmicrodong
    7 years ago
    With any luck, they’ll each landing a killing blow on the other at the same time. And then they’ll fall backwards and knock Pence and Clinton into the dung covered punji sticks lining the fighting area.

    That way, everybody wins.
  • likes2look
    7 years ago
    Trump wouldn’t stand a chance. But that’s not his fault. Bone spurs you know.
  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    Gout too
  • PeterEaster
    7 years ago
    "Trump does have WWE experience."

    Haha, that's true! Maybe they can get Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on the announce table:

    JR: It's gonna be a slobberknocker tonight, King.

    JL: Look at the puppies on Melania JR.
  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    Trump is a major pussy, a typical rich kid, as soon as he gets hit he’ll start crying for his mama!
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    What was going on with facebook and the data harvesting, this is just starting to break, and it is going to be BIG!

    SJG
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    In The Atlantic is shows this picture and explains about the Russian computer hacking. They say that Obama was telling Putin to knock it off, and that Obama assumed that Clinton would win and that she would deal with him.

    http://media1.s-nbcnews.com/j/newscms/20…

    SJG
  • larryfisherman
    7 years ago
    Trump would cheat and bring Pence in to help beat up Biden, so Biden would win by disqualification.
  • Clubber
    7 years ago
    Heard that some network consulted 5 boxing promoters. Results were 5-0 for President Trump. Don't know if this is the one since I didn't read it, but...

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/bo…
  • NinaBambina
    7 years ago
    Well, to be fair, a lot of those guys have been in bed with Trump before, and one of them (Ali's former promoter) said Hillary would beat the shit out of him. Hell, I think *I* could probably win a streetfight with Trump... "He's too ugly to be the world champ. The world champ should be pretty, like me!"
  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    I get the sense that 25 didn't vote for Trump.
  • vincemichaels
    7 years ago
    Let's send crazyjoe in the ring with Trump. I have no doubt crazyjoe has a mean left.
  • ButterMan
    7 years ago
    Biden would choke that SOB out!
  • orionsmith
    7 years ago
    Trump knows how to tweet tough. If the news media didn't repeat his tweets as news, would never hear about it.
  • jester214
    7 years ago
    Donald has a definite size advantage and is a bit younger. Donald ducked the war with bone spurs and Joe did it with Asthma. They were both athletes in their youth but I can't see either of them ever being in too many brawls.

    I give a slight edge to Biden but I think we can all agree two septuagenarians fighting would probably not be all that exciting or really very decisive.
  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    I get the sense that flagooner voted for Trump.
  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    You are correct sir.
  • crazyjoe
    7 years ago
    I get the sense I am going to shit at mcd's again
  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    ^ You, too, are probably correct sir.
  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    Somehow I get the sense that shitting at Mickey Ds is a great way to get the fat orange turd out of your system.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion