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Trump vs Biden - Who would win?

Avatar for realDougster
realDougsterNavigating the post-FOSTA apocalypse

No, I'm not talking about a hypothetical 2020 Presidential match-up, I mean an actual old-fashioned back-alley brawl.

www.politico.com

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

#Trumpsofat. He’ll get his clock cleaned

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Avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina

Only way Trump wins is if he manages to sit on Biden.

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Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Probably Biden. He's actually somewhat fit and active.

I wouldn't mind if both of them slipped into an elevator shaft during the fight, though.

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Avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15

After seeing the women that Trump has bagged, could you really vote for Biden ?

www.google.com:

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Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

I don't know. Trump does have WWE experience.

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Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

Trump would win. Biden is a hugger - not a fighter.

Although - if Biden went directly for Trump’s hair...

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Avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael

Warrior15 said "After seeing the women that Trump has b̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ bought, could you really vote for Biden?"

Fixed it for you.

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Avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember

^^ LOL

More realistic competition: which geriatric politician can make it to 3PM without an afternoon nap.

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Avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina

What does renting/buying pussy have to do with winning a fight?

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

Trump will win, he'll bring in a ringer.

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Avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15

" What does renting/buying pussy have to do with winning a fight? "

Not a damn thing. It just gave me an excuse to post the picture. But it makes sense that the girl in this thread would be the one to not appreciate that.

On the subject. Trump would kick the living shit out of Biden. In a street fight, the aggressor almost always wins. Biden is way too passive. Trump would tear hit throat out and not even think about it.

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Avatar for Salty.Nutz
Salty.Nutz

i dont think Trump has ever been in a fight

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

Biden the plagarizer would lose to Trump, but they'd both lose to little orphan Annie.

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Avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina

"Not a damn thing. It just gave me an excuse to post the picture. But it makes sense that the girl in this thread would be the one to not appreciate that."

Calm down there. It's not like any praised your comment, either...

Biden is way more physically fit than Trump and I doubt Trump has any street fighting experience. He would get tired after his first swing, and his first swing would be slow enough for any able-bodied person who is not blind to duck. Fat people are easy to fight, they get tired quickly and lose their balance often. They might both break a hip, but obviously Biden has the edge. Plus, his hands are really small. And I think a physical fight is one of the few scenarios where he wouldn't be the aggressor.

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Avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15

I do need to calm down. Can you take me to a quiet place where I can work thru my tensions ???

Back to the fight, it would be comical to watch the event. You could make a fortune on PPV .

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Avatar for skibum609
skibum609

In high school one day, in the cafeteria, the question of who the toughest kid in the school was when one of my friends, all 5'7' 155 pounds of him squared off with a kid who had moved here from Israel at age 19 and had served in the IDF. 6'2" 225 which in 1975 was fucking huge. My friend took two fast punches to the face and then proceeded to beat him into a bloody pulp while the teachers pretended nothing was going on and we screamed like maniacs. We were stunned because my buddy (pizza face was what others called him) had no reputation and like many of us back in the kung fu days loved karate. He told us how to pick the winner in every fist fight and it remains true today: "The winner is always the one least afraid to get hit in the face". After we discovered alcohol one of the things he liked to do was give you the opportunity to hit him in the face as hard as you possibly could, as long as after you did it, he could punch you in the stomach as hard as he possibly could. Of fucking course I did. I hit him flush on the nose and blood spurted. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, punched me in the stomach and in less than a week I had stopped peeing blood.

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Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

Trump has been colluding with Putin.

I could picture him climbing into the ring from behind Biden and whacking him with a folding metal chair.

Trump would then tweet all about it as a substitute for his post-match interview.

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Avatar for Criley4
Criley4

Kinda makes you wish they would bring back dueling

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Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

Skibum609 makes an excellent point. A fight gets serious when one of the participants gets hit in the face.

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Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

With any luck, they’ll each landing a killing blow on the other at the same time. And then they’ll fall backwards and knock Pence and Clinton into the dung covered punji sticks lining the fighting area.

That way, everybody wins.

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Avatar for likes2look
likes2look

Trump wouldn’t stand a chance. But that’s not his fault. Bone spurs you know.

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Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

Gout too

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Avatar for PeterEaster
PeterEaster

"Trump does have WWE experience."

Haha, that's true! Maybe they can get Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on the announce table:

JR: It's gonna be a slobberknocker tonight, King.

JL: Look at the puppies on Melania JR.

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Trump is a major pussy, a typical rich kid, as soon as he gets hit he’ll start crying for his mama!

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Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

What was going on with facebook and the data harvesting, this is just starting to break, and it is going to be BIG!

SJG

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Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

In The Atlantic is shows this picture and explains about the Russian computer hacking. They say that Obama was telling Putin to knock it off, and that Obama assumed that Clinton would win and that she would deal with him.

media1.s-nbcnews.com

SJG

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Avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman

Trump would cheat and bring Pence in to help beat up Biden, so Biden would win by disqualification.

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Avatar for Clubber
Clubber

Heard that some network consulted 5 boxing promoters. Results were 5-0 for President Trump. Don't know if this is the one since I didn't read it, but...

www.usatoday.com

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Avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina

Well, to be fair, a lot of those guys have been in bed with Trump before, and one of them (Ali's former promoter) said Hillary would beat the shit out of him. Hell, I think I could probably win a streetfight with Trump... "He's too ugly to be the world champ. The world champ should be pretty, like me!"

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Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

I get the sense that 25 didn't vote for Trump.

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

Let's send crazyjoe in the ring with Trump. I have no doubt crazyjoe has a mean left.

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Avatar for ButterMan
ButterMan

Biden would choke that SOB out!

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Avatar for orionsmith
orionsmith

Trump knows how to tweet tough. If the news media didn't repeat his tweets as news, would never hear about it.

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Avatar for jester214
jester214

Donald has a definite size advantage and is a bit younger. Donald ducked the war with bone spurs and Joe did it with Asthma. They were both athletes in their youth but I can't see either of them ever being in too many brawls.

I give a slight edge to Biden but I think we can all agree two septuagenarians fighting would probably not be all that exciting or really very decisive.

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

I get the sense that flagooner voted for Trump.

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Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

You are correct sir.

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Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

I get the sense I am going to shit at mcd's again

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Avatar for flagooner
flagooner

^ You, too, are probably correct sir.

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

Somehow I get the sense that shitting at Mickey Ds is a great way to get the fat orange turd out of your system.

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