Whale "stole" my girl - a counterpoint

37 comments

• twentyfive

  •

  6 years ago

  Way to make lemonade out of lemons. ;)
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  That’s the right attitude to have. It was rude of your girl to not come back. Even a true whale situation deserves an explanation.
• Jascoi

  •

  6 years ago

  excellent.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  6 years ago

  IDK how I feel about this - strip-club world is bizarro-word. On one hand, I see-it as a douche move for her to blow you off (in the not good way) especially you having a somewhat regular thing w/ her. On the other PL-hand, one can argue she's there to make $$$ and hard for her to bypass whale-$$$ - and it can be argued I should not be in the way if I can't provide her the whale-$$$ the other custy can. As a newb I'd probably be pissed - as a seasoned PL I don't expect anything from a stripper other than her provide adequate service for what I paid for - in the end I accept she has to do what's best for her as long as it doesn't encompass her ripping me off.
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  She should have come back and explained if it was a true whale. I’d have promissed to make it up to him, with dinner out, or extra time, and most of regulars would be understanding.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  6 years ago

  ^ or just give him 99 BJs
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  lol, yeah, I guess that would keep my regulars pretty understanding! ;P
• DeclineToState

  •

  6 years ago

  ^ yes, that recent comment of yours about giving HS boyfriend BJs to keep him happy was funny. That was one lucky ass boyfriend
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  Didn’t all of the girls do that? He was a long term boyfriend.
• JohnTitor

  •

  6 years ago

  I am glad that worked out for you, and a nice young twenty year old with a nice ponytail seems very appealing. Not a bad thing when a dancer taking a custy for granted gets served a little humble pie.
• Dolfan

  •

  6 years ago

  Glad it worked out. As I tend to be a regular customer, similar scenarios are how I tend to find most of my next regular/favorite strippers. It's always nice when a bad trip turns into a good one. I generally am understanding when a bigger/more regular/otherwise materially better customer comes in and she wants to take care of him. I won't stand in line for sloppy seconds, but if it happens only occasionally and she says goodbye. I am however not even a little bit understanding about walking away saying "I'll be right back" and not coming back. I would have been particularly pissed if I'd have passed on the hottie on stage believing the "I'll be right back" shit, then missed out on both. Her move isn't quite grounds for total dismissal, but unless she's really special I'd make plans to see the new girl first and relegate the other one to backup status.
• Subraman

  •

  6 years ago

  Agree that the fact that she didn't come back to explain was a major asshole move. That would cross her off my list permanently. Beyond that, if she was a CF with whom I'd made an appointment, that would usually cross her off permanently even if she did come back to explain (although as long as she came back to explain, I wouldn't be irritated); I did not take off work, spend as much as 90 minutes each way on the road, make sure my kids were taken care of over my ex's place, set up an appointment, etc., to have her wander off... and if she does it once, no telling how many other times she'll do it. No hard feelings as long as she excused herself and explained why ... but I am going to find a stripper who WILL give me the experience I'm looking for, there are plenty of them. If she's got higher-priority whales and she's unable or unwilling to manage my appointment so we're not there at the same time, then hey, I get it, your business model doesn't match my desired customer experience, sayonara
• JohnSmith69

  •

  6 years ago

  I sympathize somewhat with the problem that dancers have when multiple guys are after them. They can only be with one guy at a time, so they can’t make everybody happy. Some handle this better than others but sometimes there is just no way that a dancer can be with all of the guys who are willing to spend money on her. So she has to chose the guy that she will make the most money with, although she doesn’t always know who this is. But Peter did handle this in the right way. If you can’t be with the stripper you love, then love the stripper you are with.
• Subraman

  •

  6 years ago

  Ya, I forgot to add that -- very well handled, and great attitude. And you are a lead-by-example to the several guys here who have complained lately about waiting an hour (!!) or two (!!!!!!!) for a stripper. JS69, I do agree, I sympathize also -- it's her job, it's how she pays her bills, supports her kids, and buys equipment for her boyfriend's band. Which is why, as long as there's no outright assholiness (like "be right back" and never returning), I endeavor to make this a "no hard feelings" situation... but, once she indicates to me that she'll be prioritizing the whale over our regular appointment, I'm out to find someone who will do the opposite
• twentyfive

  •

  6 years ago

  It’s all about what you want the salesperson needs to make the customer happy not the other way around, the sooner everyone gets that service will improve in any industry not just strip clubs.
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  @ subraman, if you had made an appointment, and she came back and explained that this guy is a whale, but offered you your usual experience for free (if you were willing to wait, or next time, if you couldn’t) would you keep seeing her? I feel like if the guy is a true whale, it’s worth it, on her part. It’s not fair that only the regular should should take the hit bc of a whale.
• Subraman

  •

  6 years ago

  BJ: no one has EVER offered me that much (or actually, anything besides her apology, now that I think about it). I'd have to be in the situation to know for sure, but at least sitting at my keyboard, I'd take the freebie... I might even feel downright good about it. A free several hours with her is a pretty huge consolation prize. I don't even think she'd have to offer that much (I'd feel bad about tying up 4 hours of her time for free) -- I'd likely even feel good about a single $100 VIP, on her.
• Clubber

  •

  6 years ago

  My ATF used to stay with me exclusively when I was ITC. One time she excused herself see another customer when he came in. I figured she was gone, but no. She talked with him for perhaps 10 minutes then came back, He sat a bit longer than left. She explained to me that she met him in the club and she was thinking of moving in with him. She eventually did but still stayed with me when he would venture in (not often) and then things went south for her pretty quick, but that's another story.
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  @ subraman, I feel like if he’s really giving her that much money, she can afford to cut a deal w you, to keep you as a regular. I always come back and discuss w my customer and try to work something out. Usually, it’s extra time hanging out, or they don’t really mind anyways (I don’t usually just hang out long, so it gives them an excuse to sit there and tell girls they are waiting for me). If it was an appointment tho, I’d offer more. I don’t think a free visit is out of question, to keep you.
• Subraman

  •

  6 years ago

  BJ, It hadn't even occurred to me that that might be in the cards, I've never had anyone offer anything but apologies. As long as this is a one-time thing, as I said I think I'd happily accept. We would, possibly, have a conversation about how it happened -- that is, most whales make appointments (don't they?), and I always make an appointment, so if she knew we were both coming at the same time, why not just re-schedule me? If it's a one-time surprise, no worries, but if she tells me that he just comes in whenever he feels like it and she is going to leave whenever he's there, we're back to "no hard feelings, but you need to find a great regular who doesn't mind if you need to bolt for your whale even if you have an appointment; and I need to find a great stripper who sticks to her appointments."
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  Stuff happens. A lot of whales don’t make appointments, and some go w the first girl who approaches them. Sometimes, they come in early. Next time it happens, tell her to come back and let you know what’s going on, and then try to work something out. Judge her on her response, and if she if willing to work with you. Some girls can’t do free dances, bc of strict club rules, but time can always be free. If she’s smart, and wants to keep you, she’ll bargain.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  6 years ago

  Gonna play devil's/ho's advocate. I can see why she would not come back to the OP and explain the situation - sure, it could be just b/c she's a greedy-cunt only thinking about herself and not giving a shit about the OP - but, I can also see her perhaps being afraid of leaving the whale's side even for a minute to come back to the OP for fear the other sharks would attack her whale, especially if he's a well-known/established whale as this guy seemed to be.
• stripfighter

  •

  6 years ago

  You handled your end well... don't let anyone ruin your night. As far as first girl, I would have talked to her upon leaving or after finishing up new girl. Not to get dances, but bc I always try to leave everything on a positive note. No need to burn bridges. And you still have the freedom of seeing her again, or not, without it being awkward. But again probably doesn't matter with strippers having such short memories, she'll not even remember it.
• DeclineToState

  •

  6 years ago

  Sharks attacking whale...nice image
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  @ Papi, no quality girl would have to be so scared, or would deal w such a flake. I never mess w the “first come, first serve” whales. I want the guys who want me most. They are the best customers, in the long run. Would you disrespect your cf for a low priced traveler?
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  6 years ago

  " ... Would you disrespect your cf for a low priced traveler? ..." Depends who had the bigger booty. LOL - just kidding - for one I don't have faves - but if I'm w/ a dancer and see a dancer I like better, I don't dismiss the girl I'm with and just hope I can get with the other girl later - that begs to say that the dancer should have the same courtesy, but I think the dancer has more to lose by missing on a whale than I do by missing on a big-booty gurl.
• Bj99

  •

  6 years ago

  She probably has more to lose by losing a cash cow regular. The guys here who prefer to find favorites probably understand. It’s nice for them to come in and get the girl they want right away w no hastle. I’m a popular girl, and I’d cross a guy off my list if he disrespected me, for another girl, especially if we had an appointment. There are ways around it for him too. What if he knew her from before, and she’s just in town to visit friends? If he care that much ab seeing her right then, then he shouldn’t mind giving me a nice tip for my troubles, to keep his spot w me, or promising to spend double the next time he comes in.
• twentyfive

  •

  6 years ago

  @Papi & @Bj the girl will lose more by ditching an irregular whale than a regular reasonable spender, but we all know that very often logic doesn’t figure into the decision making process of many strippers. Think about it this way, look how much turnover the clubs have down here, there is usually a core group of girls that make a reasonable amount of money fairly steady, and then there’s the rest that show up when they are broke or bounce from club to club till they disappear.
• ppwh

  •

  6 years ago

  Wow, nice outcome! I wouldn't worry too much about the other dancer since it was just "one of his regulars". If she decides to come over and be nice next time (or the next time after that), it's just one additional dancer who might be worth spending time with on a given night. Way better than trying to find a way to smooth things over with her after she ditched him. I have never had a bad outcome moving on to other dancers when one leaves and pays extra special attention to another guy. Conversely, there are too many stories to count where a guy waited around for a dancer who left for another guy and all it did was creep her out.
• SirLapdancealot

  •

  6 years ago

  There's no "stealing" by a whale here. There's only Captain Ahab the stripper forgetting about all else except Moby Dick the whale. The stripper is the one that spotted the whale and left OP high and dry. It was poor form of her to leave OP for more than just a few minutes. 'twas a good lesson on her part by losing out on dances because of such behavior.
• orionsmith

  •

  6 years ago

  I don't usually want to be alone with the same dancer all night long. I'm used to clubs with several good looking dancers. A dancer sitting with me all night is blocking all the other dancers unless they are friends and stop by as well. If the club isn't busy when I arrive and or I seem to enjoy sitting with her, I can forget the time.
• flagooner

  •

  6 years ago

  I've been the butt hurt loser pouting that the girl I want to spend time with is giving all her attention to someone else. It's not an attractive look. That was back before I learned (some of) the errors of my ways through this board. I'm by no means immune now, but I do quickly realize it and chastise myself for being such a pussy.
• Subraman

  •

  6 years ago

  ->"@Papi & @Bj the girl will lose more by ditching an irregular whale than a regular reasonable spender, but we all know that very often logic doesn’t figure into the decision making process of many strippers. " Depending on what kind of person she is, and her emotional IQ, there can also be all kinds of politics at play. That is, if her frenemy stripper gets the whale instead, then the frenemy wins. I have a few times seen that at play! Meanwhile, we have the beej up there being totally reasonable, and figuring out a way that even I would graciously accept a stripper running off. go figure
• Darkblue999

  •

  6 years ago

  Petereaster You did not mention how long you waited for her to come back. One minutes,two minutes or 30 minutes.May be she really just wanted to say Hello to him and come back to you in few minutes. How many years she has been regular dancer to you. The whale might be long term regular for her. Usually dancers don't lie to regulars since they don't want to lose steady income. ----> because two other dancers come over as well, and all three of them are all over the guy. At this point I resign myself that my dancer's not coming back anytime soon and start checking out the room for other talent ---->
• SirLapdancealot

  •

  6 years ago

  @flagooner posted -> "I've been the butt hurt loser pouting that the girl I want to spend time with is giving all her attention to someone else. It's not an attractive look. That was back before I learned (some of) the errors of my ways through this board. I'm by no means immune now, but I do quickly realize it and chastise myself for being such a pussy." When I first was meeting my now backup CF to my ATF DS, she told me on stage that she would come by at the end of her set, but then she ended up coming back to me and telling me she was going to do 30min VIP with a PL that was in a hurry. At that moment I became the butt hurt one and gave her a piece of my mind about it being very uncool. Despite her profusely apologizing, I stormed out of the club and told her, "see you never" and vowed never to go back to her. Fast forward 24 hrs and I'm back at the club for her. She was an 8+ hottie that I couldn't resist. She gave me an extra free dance with very high mileage the entire time and an awesome LDK. Sometimes being a butt hurt pussy has a happy ending. (*sometimes*)
• LeeH

  •

  6 years ago

  WOW! There's some major snowflake action going on in some of these responses. The dancer's purpose in being at the club is not to enhance the relationship between the two of you; it is to make money to pay the light bill. Now, many can pull off both -- but, damn, it ain't about your entitled ass, no matter how much time and money you've "invested". Even at my PL-est, I wasn't *that* much of a PL. Yeah, it would have been nice/polite for the "stolen" girl in the OP to come back and explain the circumstances, but it's not like he wasn't able to figure them out. Plus, it all came out fine in the end. Some of my best "finds" were because a fave was tied up. And in the absolute best cases, it was because the fave knew she was going to be tied up and sent the "find" my way.
• rickdugan

  •

  6 years ago

  Good for you. That was a perfect way to handle it IMHO. The added twist for me is that a fav generally doesn't become a fav unless I have also crossed the OTC threshold, which creates added complications in terms of the reactions and dynamics of my favorites when other girls are sniffing around. But even still, if a favorite gets tied up with someone else, I consider myself a free agent in terms of my ITC activities. Now that doesn't always work out so well in practice in clubs with very territorial girls, but that's not my problem until it spills out into my lap. Happened just a few weeks ago, with one girl threatening to beat the shit out of another for "stealing [her] customer." Truth be told, I've been fucking both of them OTC, but that's a story for another time. The main point is that I don't behave like I have a club wife and neither should anyone else unless it is a dynamic that they are seeking out. In any event, thanks for sharing.