Whale "stole" my girl - a counterpoint
PeterEaster
Virginia - Last seen being walked to the door
I spot a cute, slim brunette with perky naturals B-cups and a sassy ponytail dancing on stage. I go up, tip her, and introduce myself. After her set she comes over and joins me. She turns out to be a delightful 20 yo, tells me it's her first night working in the club (she'd been dancing in another club for a few months before) and I'm her first customer. I end up spending the rest of my visit with her, drinks (soda for her), conversation, and dances.
I'm having such a great time I'm not paying attention to anything else going on in the club until new girl excuses herself to go to the dressing room to freshen up. I glance around and see my original dancer sitting at the bar by herself and looking over my way with a frown on her face. Whale is nowhere in sight, don't know what happened, maybe things didn't work out with the whale? Anyway, new girl returns and we finish off the night with a final set of dances.
So maybe a whale "stealing" your girl can be a good thing sometimes, if it leads to new possibilities you might have missed otherwise.
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On one hand, I see-it as a douche move for her to blow you off (in the not good way) especially you having a somewhat regular thing w/ her.
On the other PL-hand, one can argue she's there to make $$$ and hard for her to bypass whale-$$$ - and it can be argued I should not be in the way if I can't provide her the whale-$$$ the other custy can.
As a newb I'd probably be pissed - as a seasoned PL I don't expect anything from a stripper other than her provide adequate service for what I paid for - in the end I accept she has to do what's best for her as long as it doesn't encompass her ripping me off.
I generally am understanding when a bigger/more regular/otherwise materially better customer comes in and she wants to take care of him. I won't stand in line for sloppy seconds, but if it happens only occasionally and she says goodbye. I am however not even a little bit understanding about walking away saying "I'll be right back" and not coming back. I would have been particularly pissed if I'd have passed on the hottie on stage believing the "I'll be right back" shit, then missed out on both. Her move isn't quite grounds for total dismissal, but unless she's really special I'd make plans to see the new girl first and relegate the other one to backup status.
Beyond that, if she was a CF with whom I'd made an appointment, that would usually cross her off permanently even if she did come back to explain (although as long as she came back to explain, I wouldn't be irritated); I did not take off work, spend as much as 90 minutes each way on the road, make sure my kids were taken care of over my ex's place, set up an appointment, etc., to have her wander off... and if she does it once, no telling how many other times she'll do it. No hard feelings as long as she excused herself and explained why ... but I am going to find a stripper who WILL give me the experience I'm looking for, there are plenty of them. If she's got higher-priority whales and she's unable or unwilling to manage my appointment so we're not there at the same time, then hey, I get it, your business model doesn't match my desired customer experience, sayonara
But Peter did handle this in the right way. If you can’t be with the stripper you love, then love the stripper you are with.
JS69, I do agree, I sympathize also -- it's her job, it's how she pays her bills, supports her kids, and buys equipment for her boyfriend's band. Which is why, as long as there's no outright assholiness (like "be right back" and never returning), I endeavor to make this a "no hard feelings" situation... but, once she indicates to me that she'll be prioritizing the whale over our regular appointment, I'm out to find someone who will do the opposite
Next time it happens, tell her to come back and let you know what’s going on, and then try to work something out. Judge her on her response, and if she if willing to work with you. Some girls can’t do free dances, bc of strict club rules, but time can always be free. If she’s smart, and wants to keep you, she’ll bargain.
I can see why she would not come back to the OP and explain the situation - sure, it could be just b/c she's a greedy-cunt only thinking about herself and not giving a shit about the OP - but, I can also see her perhaps being afraid of leaving the whale's side even for a minute to come back to the OP for fear the other sharks would attack her whale, especially if he's a well-known/established whale as this guy seemed to be.
As far as first girl, I would have talked to her upon leaving or after finishing up new girl. Not to get dances, but bc I always try to leave everything on a positive note. No need to burn bridges. And you still have the freedom of seeing her again, or not, without it being awkward.
But again probably doesn't matter with strippers having such short memories, she'll not even remember it.
Depends who had the bigger booty.
LOL - just kidding - for one I don't have faves - but if I'm w/ a dancer and see a dancer I like better, I don't dismiss the girl I'm with and just hope I can get with the other girl later - that begs to say that the dancer should have the same courtesy, but I think the dancer has more to lose by missing on a whale than I do by missing on a big-booty gurl.
Way better than trying to find a way to smooth things over with her after she ditched him. I have never had a bad outcome moving on to other dancers when one leaves and pays extra special attention to another guy. Conversely, there are too many stories to count where a guy waited around for a dancer who left for another guy and all it did was creep her out.
There's only Captain Ahab the stripper forgetting about all else except Moby Dick the whale.
The stripper is the one that spotted the whale and left OP high and dry.
It was poor form of her to leave OP for more than just a few minutes. 'twas a good lesson on her part by losing out on dances because of such behavior.
It's not an attractive look. That was back before I learned (some of) the errors of my ways through this board. I'm by no means immune now, but I do quickly realize it and chastise myself for being such a pussy.
Depending on what kind of person she is, and her emotional IQ, there can also be all kinds of politics at play. That is, if her frenemy stripper gets the whale instead, then the frenemy wins. I have a few times seen that at play!
Meanwhile, we have the beej up there being totally reasonable, and figuring out a way that even I would graciously accept a stripper running off. go figure
You did not mention how long you waited for her to come back. One minutes,two minutes or 30 minutes.May be she really just wanted to say Hello to him and come back to you in few minutes. How many years she has been regular dancer to you. The whale might be long term regular for her. Usually dancers don't lie to regulars since they don't want to lose steady income.
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because two other dancers come over as well, and all three of them are all over the guy. At this point I resign myself that my dancer's not coming back anytime soon and start checking out the room for other talent
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It's not an attractive look. That was back before I learned (some of) the errors of my ways through this board. I'm by no means immune now, but I do quickly realize it and chastise myself for being such a pussy."
When I first was meeting my now backup CF to my ATF DS, she told me on stage that she would come by at the end of her set, but then she ended up coming back to me and telling me she was going to do 30min VIP with a PL that was in a hurry.
At that moment I became the butt hurt one and gave her a piece of my mind about it being very uncool. Despite her profusely apologizing, I stormed out of the club and told her, "see you never" and vowed never to go back to her.
Fast forward 24 hrs and I'm back at the club for her. She was an 8+ hottie that I couldn't resist. She gave me an extra free dance with very high mileage the entire time and an awesome LDK.
Sometimes being a butt hurt pussy has a happy ending. (*sometimes*)
The dancer's purpose in being at the club is not to enhance the relationship between the two of you; it is to make money to pay the light bill. Now, many can pull off both -- but, damn, it ain't about your entitled ass, no matter how much time and money you've "invested". Even at my PL-est, I wasn't *that* much of a PL.
Yeah, it would have been nice/polite for the "stolen" girl in the OP to come back and explain the circumstances, but it's not like he wasn't able to figure them out. Plus, it all came out fine in the end.
Some of my best "finds" were because a fave was tied up. And in the absolute best cases, it was because the fave knew she was going to be tied up and sent the "find" my way.
The added twist for me is that a fav generally doesn't become a fav unless I have also crossed the OTC threshold, which creates added complications in terms of the reactions and dynamics of my favorites when other girls are sniffing around. But even still, if a favorite gets tied up with someone else, I consider myself a free agent in terms of my ITC activities.
Now that doesn't always work out so well in practice in clubs with very territorial girls, but that's not my problem until it spills out into my lap. Happened just a few weeks ago, with one girl threatening to beat the shit out of another for "stealing [her] customer." Truth be told, I've been fucking both of them OTC, but that's a story for another time. The main point is that I don't behave like I have a club wife and neither should anyone else unless it is a dynamic that they are seeking out.
In any event, thanks for sharing.